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How Do I get over the thought of my boyfriend's exes?
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months now,I keep finding so many old pictures when I am on his laptop searching for OUR pictures and it makes me nauseous. They briefly lived together for about 5 months and were dating for almost 2 years. Before that he has had multiple relationships, but he tells me I'm the one.. why do i find that hard to believe he may have told the others the same. He is my first everything and I am 21 years old, he is 24 years old. How do I know hes the one for me because he was my only one? I'm envious that he and his ex even moved in together but he told me she was crazy.
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People have many fears and insecurities in life. It seems that your's is the fear that you would be put in the same category as the ex. No matter what we see if we are not comfortable with ourselves then it's harder to be comfortable or secure with others. I don't think it's the pictures that bothers you rather more than what they represent. People tend to live in the past or even let the past affect them in some way. Being secure and happy with yourself, gives you a more appealing picture for him to know that he is lucky and that the past is what it is nothing more. We all have reminders of what we have been through to get to where we are. Instead of letting the pictures define your relationship just be secure and let him know that you understand that they are just a reminder of what he had to go through to find the "right" girl. And that you are secure with yourself to know that he is a lucky guy himself because he found someone truly to appreciate.
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Well, the first things you do is stay the hell off of his computer and ask him for the photos you want.
I mean really, I don't understand why some people (mostly women) believe that computers, email and social networks sites are things that people in relationships should share. I've been with my partner for 3 years and I've touched his computer maybe three times, and he's only ever touched mine to be awesome tech support for me.
Solve your problem by stopping exposing yourself to photos, that he is totally allowed to have and keep, and staying off his computer.
Here's the more important second step:
Accept that you don't KNOW he's the one, and he doesn't KNOW you are the one either.
There are probably lots of people out there in the universe that you both could date, and be with, happily.
People are only 'The One' when we choose them to be.
Trust him when he says he is choosing you to be his one.
Trust yourself to choose him and be loyal to him.
Maybe it won't last forever. Sometimes we find the person we choose to be 'The One' just isn't what we thought. Nothing in the world will protect you from that. The only thing you can do is make the choice you want too, make the best choice you can, and trust the person you love to do the same.
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Talk to him
Let him know that you came across some old pictures on his laptop while you were looking for photos if you and him tigether. Then let him know it makes you uncomfortable. See what he says, if he becimes defensive then he is not over his ex...
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