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Husaband talks to ex,based on conversation,should I be worried
Hi,
My husband talk to her ex finance(also married), and I am totally fine with that, but he writes following things, i want to know , should I be worried?
-“hey gorgeous, how you doing? “then caries on with normal conversation.
-“good night gorgeous”
-She was sad for some reason and we live in different countries , so he wrote – “God loves when u smile. lot of people in far corners of the world feel better wen u do and post such pics online”
-“btw was watching some of your other pics ... you are a star babe ... really ... ssssuperstarrrrr”
Btw, if you are wondering how I got this, I accidently bumped into his FB message.. honest to god!
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Hello! My mother has a husband who cheated on her 3 years ago. And honestly, yes. I would worry. I would confront him about it. If he gets defensive, theres something going on. but if he is casual about it he obviously doesn't see anything wrong with it. He should be calling YOU those things not flirting with his ex. let him know your not comfortable with it and go from there!
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If you had not mentioned she was sad then I would definitely say his contact with his ex, without your knowledge, is in appropriate. Even so he should have told you he has been in contact with her over facebook and found out she is sad about something and is trying to cheer her up. As for the use of terms of endearment I'm not sure how to judge that. It just might be the way he spoke to her before the broke up.
For some reason the two of them did not marry, you two did. Talking to someone online I don't see as cheating, even emotionally. Remember one of are Presidents admitted to lusting in his heart and it wasn't Clinton.
I do find it hurtful that he would not tell you about his finding his ex on facebook and how it came to be; to tell you about her sadness and his desire to cheer her up and get your thoughts on the matter. When something like this is out in the open and straight forward you can be more comfortable with and maybe comfortable enough not to ask him to break off his contact with her. His primary reason for not telling you could be fear of upsetting you with something he may consider just two friends talking.
If and when you decide to talk to him about this discovery. First decide how you would have responded if he came to you before he started communicating with her. For the moment disregard the terms of endearment you saw while you think of how you might have felt. Tell him how you would have felt if he came to you first. I'm thinking you may have approved. Then ask him why he is using those terms in his conversation.
I've been married 41 years. When we first married my wife told me I could look at the menu but I better not reorder or she would cut off a very important organ I hold near and dear to me. This has worked very well for us. I get to look at pretty ladies and she will even point some out to me. I can even talk with the ladies I work with without my wife getting upset as I come home every night and sleep next to her and only her every night.
Every night at dinner I will tell her about my day. Since my job puts me in front of any number of women during the day I tell her of my conversations with them, the non-business parts, so she know what I am doing. This includes the teasing I do since I am a big tease and my customers have come to expect me to tease and tell jokes when I visit.
My wife and I established this open and honest communication very early in our marriage. I know where the line is, as does she. I think this is what you and your husband need to talk about and establish for yourselves. Their is no rule that says either of you can't have friends and converse with people of the opposite sex and still have a great marriage.
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Obviously your husband is still hung up on her, his conversations with her go beyond appropriate.
This woman is married and so is your husband. Why abd exactly what is the reason he is in contact with this woman? If no children are involved then there is no excuse period. 'Friend' doesn't cut it, its a bullshit excuse to have the best if both worlds. You have been far to leaning to be exceptional to his contact with a woman he was going to formerly marry. I would be a bit concerned as his conversations raise valid concerns. Fact is he married YOU and should be focused on your married not his ex. Your husbands actions are dishonest.
Yes you have every reason to be a little pissed
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