about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

i have the thickest hair in the world- and it's extremely dry, and it's all one length, and it reaches to the middle of my back, i wanna get it cut really bad- nothing too short- but i dont know what yet. any suggestions? also- i dont know what to do about my hair being so dry. ive tried all kinds of moisturizing this and that- but nothing seems to work. PLEASE HELP!

I have long hair also so I feel your pain. My hair is almost long enough to sit on. A natural remedy I use from time to time is taking mayo and working it through your hair. Leave in for 10 minutes and then wash your hair as usual. Eggs also work to restore your hair's health. I know these sound weird but they do work.

Another option is to buy a replenishing conditioner or leave-in treatment. VO-5 has hot oil treatments as well as intense conditioning treatments. Their total hair recovery treatment is $6.49 at CVS. Hot oil treatments run between $4 and $6.

Find a good quality shampoo and conditioner. I use John Frieda. It works great on my hair. In my eyes, the $5 a bottle I pay for it is well worth it. Have you tried the replenishing shampoos? I do occasionally use them. Nearly every hair product company has one.

As for your cut, I would suggest either thinning, layering, or cutting it. If you cut it, it would probably be best not to do a drastic move. Once in a mood I cut my waist-length hair to my ears. Needless to say when I got over my mood, I was horrified and it seemed like it took forever to grow out long again. Taking it in slow doses will help.

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hey! i didnt eat for 4 days because i was super busy and the only kind of food i could eat i didnt like! but i gained 2 pounds! how is that possible if i didnt eat?!

Since you weren't eating, your body went into self-preservating mode and started storing fat to protect itself.

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I really need to lose 20 lbs fast if anyone can tell me some ways please i will appreciate it
.

Losing weight fast isn't healthy. I would aim for 2 pounds a week. With that said...

Drinking lots of water (When you've had enough, drink more) will help flush the water weight from your body. Water rich foods such as tomato, cucumber and celery will all help too.

Try cutting the pasta and bread out of your diet. If you must have them, switch to healthier options like wheat bread or specialty pastas.

Eating a high protein (chicken, turkey, lean cuts of meat) diet will also help you get the weight off.

Exercise is also needed. Try to build some muscle. Even though it weighs more than fat, muscle is a powerful fat-burner. Try varying your exercises to make sure you're getting an all over workout. If you need special attention to a certain area, try workouts for that.

I hope this helps.

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my boyfrind cheated on me and wants me back should i take him back and worrie all my life to see if hes ganna cheat on me again or breack up i love him
my friends say its not the first time did itto me

Since he's done it before, I would say he's going to continue to cheat. The best think to do is let him go. It doesn't seem to me that you trust him right now, and with good reason. Trust is essential for a relationship.

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I've been going out with this boy for about 1 1/2 months (not long, i know) but i dont know if its working out. We talk a lot and hes nice and eevrything but theres just something about him i dont know. I thought when we first started going out it'd be the right time after a breakup with someone who i really loved but now i think that its not the right time to be with someone because i still have a lot of feelings for my ex. I'm not sure if i should break up with my bf or just stay. I know that if i stay with him i may start gettin miserable. I dont want to hurt him because he really likes me and cares for me. What should i do?? ill rate 5's if you at least help me and try to! thanks!

I would tell him that you want to end the relationship. Tell him it's nothing that he's done. You just aren't completely over your last relationship and that he deserves someone who can give him what he needs.

Good luck.

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My boyfriend is super nice. He is always telling me I'm hot, im sexy, im pretty, im cool, when I don't really think i am. He says he loves me way too much and its strating to get a little annoying. I basically just met him and don't know him as well as I would like to. I feel like hes rushing things, but still hes super nice and he loves me and hes really obsessed with me.....

I rate....

Just talk to him and let him know his constant attention is making you uncomfortable since you don't feel that you know him that well yet. If he really cares about you, he will wait until you're comfortable.

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I've always wondered this... is "costed" a word??

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, "costed" is a word.

Main Entry: 2cost
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): cost; cost·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French coster, from Latin constare to stand firm, cost -- more at CONSTANT
intransitive senses
1 : to require expenditure or payment
2 : to require effort, suffering, or loss
transitive senses
1 : to have a price of
2 : to cause to pay, suffer, or lose something
3 past cost·ed : to estimate or set the cost of -- often used with out

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I'm a figure skater and since i'm competing again I want to cut my own music but the thing is that I dont know how and was wondering if anyone knows how to cut certain parts of a song out? I would ask my coach but she's out of town and I want to be able to work on the program myself and show her. Please and thank you

The following site has a good article about setting up to cut music.
http://www.varsity.com/index.asp?article=1373

A good quality music editing program will help you cut your music for a routine. There are several for free or at least offer a free trial. I think these would be better for you to work with since you'll most likely not be needing it a lot. Just go to http://www.download.com and do a search for the phrase "audio production". It will pull up a list of the different things they offer.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

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i just saw a commercial on those clear braces taht you can take in and out and you get a new one like every 2 weeks or something and they like work in a year and stuff like that. but can anyone tell me if they really work well. how much do they cost (if u know, if not..its ok) do they work as good as normal braces?? cause i am almost 15 and going into high school and i have to get braces and i dont want to be in high school with braces.

I believe you're talking about Invisalign. They generally cost more than regular braces. The national average cost for Invisalign is $5000. It varies depending on the length of the treatment, the kind of treatment you need, even where you live. If you have dental insurance, it may cover part or even all of the treatment.

They do appear to have good results but you have to take them out to eat, drink, brush and floss which I think is inconvenient.

One thing to think about is the face that not all orthodontists are certified to do Invisalign. I would do a search on ones that do in your area. The following link will take you to a page that will make your search easier.

http://www.invisalign.com/generalapp/us/en/getting/findLocation.jsp

I hope this helps.

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I'm in love with my best friend. I've liked him for as long as i can remember, years. I haven't liked any one else within that time period. But we're best friends.

I've tried telling him, and he just wasn't (won't) feeling it. he has liked me before, but i kept it as friends.

But now he likes one one my good (female) friends. And he is constantly trying to be around her, even though they wouldn't be friends if it weren't for me. She has a boyfriend of her own. He just dosn't get the picture.

It kills me to see him try for her. Giving her the attention i've been dying for, for years. It really breaks my heart and i don't know what to do.

He already knows how i feel. I just do not know what to do. Or how to mend a broken heart.

I'm sorry you're going through this situation. There is no cure for a broken heart other than time and moving on.

I would suggest talking to your friend (the female one) and telling her that you think that he needs to know that she is not interested. Maybe that will keep him from going for her and get his attention aimed elsewhere.

I know it's hard right now but I would take other opportunities if they come along. You don't want to spend your time waiting for this guy and miss out on Mr. Right because you were looking the wrong way.

Good luck. Keep your chin up. It will get better.

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all off my friends dont like my girlfriend but i really like her, what should i do

Figure out why they don't like her. Are they seeing something in her that you aren't?
Ultimately, it's your choice what to do. I would listen to what they have to say but follow your heart. A true friend won't stand in the way of love even if they don't agree. They'll just be there for you if you need them.

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My boyfriend's birthday is coming up on August 17th. I want to do something really special for him. Any suggestions are appreciated!

You could try a romantic picnic for 2 or a candlelit dinner. A memory book of your time together with little souvenirs is also good.

You can find lots of other great ideas at the following sites.

http://www.lovingyou.com
http://www.romantic-tips.com
http://www.romantictips.com
http://www.theromantic.com

I hope these help. Good luck.

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what are those sparky purses with sequence on them called?

If you mean the ones that don't have a handle, they're called a clutch.

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What are some really good love songs? My boyfriend is in the Navy..so I'm looking for some songs maybe dealing with love apart. Or missing somebody. Thank you!

Here Without You-3 Doors Down
Carrying Your Love with Me-George Strait
Run-George Strait
My Love's Unchanged-George Canyon
Without You (What Will I Do With Me)-Tanya Tucker
Come Home Soon-Shedaisy

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hehe this is pretty weird, But my dude, he always does all the work most of the time so I kinda feel bad & owe him a lot (sexually) Any suggestions on pleasing him to the max?

Try taking the lead and seducing him. A sexy striptease or full-body maassage will both get him going. Try out the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl positions where you're on top and controlling the pace.

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OK.. so i know.. online romances are dangerous.. but this is different. Hes my friends cousins friend! Ive never met him personally but I talk to him online and hes sooo sweet. Hes always telling me how nice i am and that he wished i lived in his town. We joke around and when i talk to him im so happy. we're both 14, and i dont know what to think. we were talking and he said i wish i could see u right now so said me too.. lets run away.. (this whole running away thing was just a fantasy for BOTH of us.. we're not really gunna do it).. and we said we were going to vegas together. and we both plan to go to collage in FL, and if we go to the ones we both want, we'll be kinda close.. miami and tampa. and i really really want that. but idk what to do. should i tell him how i feel?.. if i should .. how do i do it?.. im usually very outgoing.. but with this im kinda shy. and wow.. so please just give me your honest opinion on the whole situation. I rate high for advice I like, and i dont rate at all if i dont like it.. i dont like lowering peoples ratings for one question. Thanks in advance!

Not all online relationships are dangerous. I met my husband online and it's worked out fine.

Since your relationship so far is online, I would go ahead and tell him how you feel. If you're shy about this just talking online, you will be even more shy if you get the chance face-to-face. Telling him online also has the added bonus of not having to worry about an awkward moment if you happen to meet in town since you live in different towns.

If you're worried about flat-out telling him online, I would suggest dropping little hints to get an idea of his feelings. Tell him how much you think about meeting him in person. Tell him how much you wish you could see his smile when he types lol or lmao. Since he's already mentioned that he wishes he could see you, I don't think it will take many hints to get the ball rolling.

Good luck with your relationship. I wish you the best.

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this is for my bff, im trying to help him through this...14/m. well my gf & i have been together for almost 6 months. we rarely see each other because we are so busy & when we do, she ignores me or hangs out with everyone but me even if its my party. she doesnt hug me a whole lot either & we've never kissed. i was away from her & during that time i saw & hung out with my gal pal that i hadnt seen in about a year. she likes me a lot & she does more things than my gf does (she hugs me, thats it!) & gives me attention & really cares about me so i got to like her as more than a friend now. i was planning on breaking up with my gf but after i saw her again yesterday, i fell in love with her all over again. i had loved this girl for several years & this was my chance but then she doesnt treat me right & there are other girls out there who really do care about me. what should i do? my gf i have loved for a long time & the girl that likes me gave me a heart that can be easily broken.

*info on the ladies: the gf is a bit of a tease & needs the attitude adjustment thats long over-due but she can be ok at times.
the other girl is a lot like a gf the guy had that ended up being a huge mistake...shes a bit older, more experienced & she knows he's vunerable. she also likes almost every guy i can think of.
*parents view: mom used to be FOR the breaking up but since the other girl showed up (which she doesnt want him to get involved with) she wants them to stay together.
dad doesnt want him to do anything until school starts so no one knows why he broke up with his gf.
*the bffs view: the other girl isnt my favorite (i agree with the parents) & i dont want to be responsible for the break up...i got them together & i didnt know it would end up like this. the gf was my friend but now not only does he treat him like crap but shes mean to me too.

*PLEASE, ANYTHING WILL HELP! WE REALLY NEED YOU!*

sorry about the confusion...im wrote it AS the GUY with the situation. the part with the info was as myself trying to help him out!

First let me say that I think your friend is a lucky guy to have a friend like you.

I think your friend should break up with the girl he's with now. She should be making an effort for the relationship to work. If they rarely see each other to begin and she spends all of the time they do have together running off with others, I don't think she is showing any efforts towards the relationship, or any respect to your guy friend.

As for the other girl, is he interested in her for her or just because she's paying attention to him?

Dating on the rebound rarely works. I would suggest that if he breaks up with his girlfriend that he take a break for a couple weeks before jumping into another relationship. Obviously he cares for his girlfriend since he's stayed with her while she continued to do this. That emotion won't just turn off like a knob. It'll take time to heal from a broken relationship.

He needs to make sure of his feelings for this new girl before going for it and make sure he's willing to get his heart broke if he does go into it. That's true in any relationship. Unless this girl has a very bad reputation on dumping younger guys, I wouldn't really worry about the fact that she's older and more experienced. My husband is older than me as well as more experienced but he's great.

Before he makes any move on this other girl, your friend does need to take into account the facts that
1) His friend as well as his parents do not like this guy. It's extremely hard to carry on a relationship when everyone around you is against it.
2) Since this girl is older, it's likely that they'll end up being separated in the next few years if either of them go to college. Is he ready to deal with a girlfriend being a distance away?
3) Just because this girl pays attention now doesn't necessarily mean she'll continue to be like that. Many people, both guys and girls, pull out all the stops to get the one they want and then don't do anything after that.
4) His heart may not be ready for another relationship just yet. It takes time to heal from a broken relationship. A break from relationships will probably be the best thing.

I hope this helps. I wish your friend luck.

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I am 14/f but i have drawn few clothings and dress designs and my friends and teachers really liked them and quiet good but i wasnt really satisfied with them, because i know i can do better if i just learn.

so my real question is. is there a book that helps to make pattern and how to draw better when you design clothes? like use certain color pencil and how to draw this and that when you are designing dress or clothes or purse or whatever.

and is there a PC program that have like cyber design ? like you design a clothes and you can see it in 3D?

Please help i rate 5 if they are any help. even a little but if you are going to bash about my question and not even going to answer it then i am SO REPORTING you.

The following sites are lists on Amazon that fashion students have made of books they recommend.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/listmania/list-browse/-/22M7WY8I1UL00/qid=1122330742/sr=5-2/ref=sr_5_2/103-3659964-3184611
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/guides/guide-display/-/KCQCVPIAUJLQ/qid=1122330742/sr=18-1/ref=sr_18_1/103-3659964-3184611
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/listmania/list-browse/-/1Z1VH7ICHNCAS/ref=cm_cnsr_lm_40/103-3659964-3184611
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/listmania/list-browse/-/3GGEODUJPKJV6/ref=cm_cnsr_lm_45/103-3659964-3184611

OptiTex (http://www.optitex.com/en/Home) offers several programs that can help.
Digifab (http://www.digifab.net) also offers several programs.

You might also consider seeing if your local college offers classes in fashion design.

I hope these help. Good luck and best wishes.

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what is SI ? i am just wonderin because i kno a lot of people who speak of it.

SI is generally the magazine Sports Illustrated. In some cases it may also be self-injury.

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okay well this guy i really like is going out with the prettiest girl in my grade. He isn't a hottie or anything, but I've liked him since 6th grade, and I'm in 8th. The night she asked him out (at a school dance) I was going to work up enough nerve to ask him. I feel like, if I asked before her, he would have said yes; only because we are so close. I was up practically everynight i saw or even talked to him, thinking about him. I started cutting myself i liked him so much. I cut myself only to make myself stop thinking about him. But eventually it just got worse. I want to stop cutting myself, and start taking it like a normal person

There's a great article on self-injury found at the site below. It also offers resources for families and friends of cutters, tips on getting help, and treatment options. Please take a minute to look at this site then show it to your parents or another trusted adult.

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

I would try talking to the guy and telling him your feelings. While it may not get you a date, it will at least let him know you're interested. There's really no way to quit thinking of someone other than giving it time. Removing items that will remind you of him from your surroundings will help. Keep a journal to write your feelings down. It's not healthy to keep your feelings bottled up and writing it down will help get them out.

I hope this helps you. Good luck. I wish you the best.

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