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this is for my bff, im trying to help him through this...14/m. well my gf & i have been together for almost 6 months. we rarely see each other because we are so busy & when we do, she ignores me or hangs out with everyone but me even if its my party. she doesnt hug me a whole lot either & we've never kissed. i was away from her & during that time i saw & hung out with my gal pal that i hadnt seen in about a year. she likes me a lot & she does more things than my gf does (she hugs me, thats it!) & gives me attention & really cares about me so i got to like her as more than a friend now. i was planning on breaking up with my gf but after i saw her again yesterday, i fell in love with her all over again. i had loved this girl for several years & this was my chance but then she doesnt treat me right & there are other girls out there who really do care about me. what should i do? my gf i have loved for a long time & the girl that likes me gave me a heart that can be easily broken.
*info on the ladies: the gf is a bit of a tease & needs the attitude adjustment thats long over-due but she can be ok at times.
the other girl is a lot like a gf the guy had that ended up being a huge mistake...shes a bit older, more experienced & she knows he's vunerable. she also likes almost every guy i can think of.
*parents view: mom used to be FOR the breaking up but since the other girl showed up (which she doesnt want him to get involved with) she wants them to stay together.
dad doesnt want him to do anything until school starts so no one knows why he broke up with his gf.
*the bffs view: the other girl isnt my favorite (i agree with the parents) & i dont want to be responsible for the break up...i got them together & i didnt know it would end up like this. the gf was my friend but now not only does he treat him like crap but shes mean to me too.
*PLEASE, ANYTHING WILL HELP! WE REALLY NEED YOU!*
sorry about the confusion...im wrote it AS the GUY with the situation. the part with the info was as myself trying to help him out!
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ok i am going to try to help you out as much as i can.. first of i understand what your friend means by when he sees her he falls back in love her again but your friend needs to know that he deserves better.. if his girlfriend cares about him she would be by his side all the time. and if she busy she will MAKE time for her boyfriend no matter how busy she is... his girlfreind now that her looks will always make him come back to her... he needs to relax and break up with this girl.. i think your friend should go with the girl that treats him right and that likes him.. he cant stay likes this thinkin this girl likes him.. and for his friend he can start like her and then make there realtionship group and he can love her as much as he loves his corrent girlfriend and maybe even more. hope this helps you and your friend out.
*~Stephanie~*
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First let me say that I think your friend is a lucky guy to have a friend like you.
I think your friend should break up with the girl he's with now. She should be making an effort for the relationship to work. If they rarely see each other to begin and she spends all of the time they do have together running off with others, I don't think she is showing any efforts towards the relationship, or any respect to your guy friend.
As for the other girl, is he interested in her for her or just because she's paying attention to him?
Dating on the rebound rarely works. I would suggest that if he breaks up with his girlfriend that he take a break for a couple weeks before jumping into another relationship. Obviously he cares for his girlfriend since he's stayed with her while she continued to do this. That emotion won't just turn off like a knob. It'll take time to heal from a broken relationship.
He needs to make sure of his feelings for this new girl before going for it and make sure he's willing to get his heart broke if he does go into it. That's true in any relationship. Unless this girl has a very bad reputation on dumping younger guys, I wouldn't really worry about the fact that she's older and more experienced. My husband is older than me as well as more experienced but he's great.
Before he makes any move on this other girl, your friend does need to take into account the facts that
1) His friend as well as his parents do not like this guy. It's extremely hard to carry on a relationship when everyone around you is against it.
2) Since this girl is older, it's likely that they'll end up being separated in the next few years if either of them go to college. Is he ready to deal with a girlfriend being a distance away?
3) Just because this girl pays attention now doesn't necessarily mean she'll continue to be like that. Many people, both guys and girls, pull out all the stops to get the one they want and then don't do anything after that.
4) His heart may not be ready for another relationship just yet. It takes time to heal from a broken relationship. A break from relationships will probably be the best thing.
I hope this helps. I wish your friend luck.
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Ok, I think that you should give your g/f another try and see if she is worth is compared to your girl thats a friend. If you see that you don't love her then hang out with the girl thats a friend more and see if a spark flies! If you do love your g/f as much as you say you do then stay friends with the gal pal and still have your g/f. I don't now if thats the answer that you were looking for but I tried! Hope I helped!!
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