When life gives u lemons, make lemonade. Then, throw it in the face of the person who should've gotten you the oranges you orginally asked for.
What we do is determined by what we are. What we are is determined by what we think. What we think is determined by what we experience. What we experience is determined by what we are exposed to and what we do with that exposure.
(MIKE VANCE and DIANE DEACON)
Life is like a book with many different chapters. Some tell of tragedy, others of triumph. Some chapters are dull and ordinary, others intense and exciting. The key to being a success in life is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a tough chapter. Champions have the courage to keep turning the pages because they know a better chapter lies ahead.
(RICH RUFFALO)
Because you're able to do it and because you have the right to do it, doesn't mean it's right to do it.
(Dr.LAURA SCHLESSINGER)
We are born with our eyes closed and our mouths open, and we spend our whole lives trying to reverse that mistake of nature.
(DALE E.TURNER)
You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.
(SHEILAH GRAHAM)
We all have the ability. The difference is how we use it.
(STEVIE WONDER)
Everything is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.
One person can make a difference and every person should try.
The one thing worse than being alone is not being alone and wishing you were.
Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.
(THEODORE N.VAIL)
The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.
(ROBERT C. DODDS)
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
(EPICURUS)
When you look in the mirror, you are looking at the problem, but remember, you are also looking at the solution.
Live your life, so you don't have to hide your diary.
Dream what you dare to dream. Go where you want to go. Be what you want to be.
(CALVIN COOLIDGE)
The first thing of importance is to have confidence in yourself, in your abilities.
(KATHARINE GIBBS)
Become a 'possibilitarian'. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities-always see them, for they are always there.
(NORMAN VINCENT PEALE)
DAVID COPPERFIELD just might be the greatest magician and illusionist of all time. He is definitely a legend in his own time. Here are some of his most inspiring quotes...
'The easiest thing in the world is to come up with an excuse not to do something. I found that the most important thing in life is to stop saying,'I wish,' and to start saying,'I will.'
'Before there can be wonders, there must be wonder.'
'Whenever I pursued my dreams, I discovered something astonishing-I discovered myself. My secret has been to consider nothing impossible. Then to treat possibilities as probabilities.'
'Passion is everything.'
'I learned that there were two ways I could live my life: following my dreams or doing something else. Dreams aren't a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. When I dream, I believe I am rehearsing my future.'
Miracles do not happen in contradiction to nature, but only in contradiction to that which is known to us of nature.
(SAINT AUGUSTINE)
The world is composed of givers and takers... the takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
(ROBERT FROST)
Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.
(MOTHER TERESA)
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Age: 21
Member Since: July 7, 2006
Answers: 529
Last Update: October 17, 2014
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I have an irregular period and I haven't gotten my period for more than a month now. I'm scared I might be pregnant. But the thing is I shouldn't even be scared.
I've been with my bf for 2 yrs and were sophs in hs. Were both really religious and scared that I'll get pregnant so we try to be intimate without having sex. There was this one time we were pretty much having sex with clothes on (rubbing each other or something) and I ended up taking my underwear off. I made him keep his boxers and basketball shorts on though. Then he went inside me like that.
Is it possible I'm pregnant or is it maybe I'm just irregular?
(link)
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Well if he really did have his boxers AND shorts on, without opening any zippers or letting out his penis in any sort of way, meaning that if it was definitely all under the clothes, then no you are not pregnant. And besides, did he even cum?
If he didn't,then there is no way that you are pregnant. And if he did, there is still no possibility that you are pregnant, because the cum couldn't have passed through the boxers to the shorts to your vagina, to the inside of your vagina causing pregnancy. So no honey, don't worry, you are not pregnant.
But about not getting your period, that might be because your too stressed about whether your pregnant or not, so its making it harder for your period to mensuarate. So try to relax, and maybe drink cinnamon tea or cinnamon in milk, just something that contains cinnamon because it helps release the period, and drink warm things in general and maybe some iron vitamin tablets. And if the period still doesn't come, you should then consult a doctor, but don't worry, cause you will get your period, just relax.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else ,please be free to contact me.
And hey, if you are so worried and convinced that you are pregnant, just for you to relax you can buy a pregnancy test from any pharmacy and have it, they are not that accurate, but its accurate enough to assure you. So if you are able to get one, go for it. And update me if you'd like. Goodluck
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How do I let a guy know I want to kiss him? What kind of signs should I give him? And how do I approach this whole thing? Please give me any other advice or suggestions because im going for my first kiss soon! (link)
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A kiss is not something planned beforehand, and it doesn't have a special technique to happen baby, it just happens, it happens because of what you feel.
There is this spur of moment where you both just go silent, and look dreamingly in each other's eyes and then you start coming closer, till your lips meet and you just kiss, like in movies.
So don't plan for it, cause if you plan for it, it will be awkward and weird and fake, so let it come on its own, trust me, and it will come, and it will be just fine :D
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My sister is almost 16 and going through this stage where she thinks shes better than everyone, especially me. She's always pushing me around.. and everything she says to me is some sort of comment to bring me down. She mocks me and tells me to shut the f*** up and all this other inappropriate stuff for NO reason. I just ignore her, because its stupid to even bother arguing with someone as immature as her. But sometimes i get so mad, I just want to punch her in the face and put her in her place. I've talked to my parents and they know that she THINKS she's so hot. I cant ignore her any longer, im sick of her thinking she has the right to walk over me. (And my brothers and sisters.) How do I stand up? And dont tell me to sit down and talk to her. You dont understand - this girl will NOT listen that way. (link)
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I know what your talking about, and guess what, this is what teen age does to us, it changes us completely, and the worst part, is when it changes us at home, with our family and how we treat our younger siblings. Its a phase and she'll get through it, she probably thinks that like that she's acting mature and responsible and as an elder sister, but she's not, and who's fault it is, is your parents,no offense meant, they should do something about it, because she wouldn't listen to anyone but them, and if they seriously do not tell her something about her attitude right now,she'll just get worse, tell me about it, if they leave her like that, eventually it'll become a part of her, and she'll treat everyone like that, even your parents in the very end, and they won't be able to do anything about it then.
So sit and talk with your parents again, not her, and tell them how you feel, and how she's way past the limits, so that next time when she does something, they should talk to her about it, and really put a limit to this, and don't make them feel like you want to put your sister in trouble, but tell them in a way that you care for her, and for her to not turn into some kind of monster, where you and your siblings would just eventually grow to dislike her and not talk to her .You don't want that to happen. And if you can even have your other siblings on your side agreeing with you while you talk to your parents, that would make your parents realize that this is really getting out of hand, so they would take an action.
But i want to tell you that in the very end, your sister is your sister, she's probably very kind at heart and a very sweet person, and i know that no matter what she does, you will still love her all the same, but its just a phase i promise, she's overwhelmed by her age and the elder position she's in, and especially if she's hot and popular and usually has the spotlight wherever she goes, it usually makes people proud and obnoxious, and instead of appreciating it, they abuse it.
Hope i helped,please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck :D
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thank you soo much :D
its true her boyfriend is a waste of time , once he left his msn opened and she checked it and i girl replied saying bby i love you , then her boyfriend blame it on my boyfriend , it was embarassing but oh well :(
my boyfriend asked me out the other day and i just stay shut. i dont know what he wants from he, he is so weird ..he says that he misses me and wants to be with me . my friend told me to let him suffer . (link)
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Nop, you shouldn't let him suffer, making him suffer means that you'll keep shut everytime he asks you out till you finally agree, and you stay shut means that there is a possibility that you might agree later on to go out with him, and then again you shouldn't give him that hope, cause you shouldn't go out with him ever again.
You should take a stand, and tell him no, tell him that you will never go out with him again, because what he did wasn't something little or just a random fight, he cheated on you, humiliated you, did not respect you or consider your feelings, and he doesn't love you. He just wants sex, and your leading him on. Tell him to leave you alone for good, and to not contact you again, and as much as it will probably hurt you to say that, and i know its hard on you, but its for the best, and one day, when you're with someone whose really worth it and treats you in the right respectable way, you'll look back and you'll feel so disgusted that you once loved someone like this and wasted your time with him.
If a person can cheat on you once, then he is able to cheat on you as many times later on, twice and thrice and much more, its simply some thing in a human's nature. And meaning that he cheated on you once, then he never loved you in the first place, and i know my words might hurt you to realize what i'm saying, but its all true, and i want the best for you, and usually cause you are the one in the situation, you are blinded by all the love you love for him, so you can't see the truth through it.
Take a stand. Let go of him for once and for all.Move on, meet someone new, love, experience more, get hurt, fall, and then get up again and move on, that's simply how life is, but if we keep stopping at every point, and if every time we fall we don't get up again, then we'll never get along or cope with life. Be strong.
And hey, do you have a name, and your age? so it would be easier for me when i advise you hehe
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else.Best of luck my darling :D
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omg thank you sooooo muchhhhhhh this wasss so helpful :) everything you said here is 100% true..your tiping like if you know me in real life this is just how i feel :) your too smart :0 omg am just impressed by this words.. :) his brother has a girlfriend and he cheets on her too, but they been together for 4 yrs , i envy he so muh because she is just lucky :( i wished someday i had a perfect life but right now i fell blahh like nothing is even worth it . i do miss my ex boyfriend soo much that i will do anything to be with him :( (link)
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Your just stopping there and not moving on because you see nothing there ahead of you for you to move on, so your stuck at the same point, just missing your ex and really wanting him .But once you meet someone else or fill up your life with something that takes up your time and occupies it, you will start to move on and all this will just seem like so yesterday.
Why not get to know someone new,meet new people, hang out with your friends, you know sometimes, being in a relationship isn't everything to life, sometimes being single comes with advantages,seeing that relationships bring nothing but trouble.
And you shouldn't envy that girl, because she's so not lucky, i mean, yes they might have been together for 4 years now, but imagine if she finds out that he's cheating on her, these 4 years will seem nothing but a waste of 4 years of her life with someone unloyal and low and when all this time she thought he loved her and cared for her, he's actually sleeping with someone else.
There will come a time, when your life will take a change, and you'll meet someone who you'll love and who will love you back, and thats the most important thing, and he'll be decent and loyal to you, and you'll be really happy then. But no one has a perfect life, and that girl your envying is no exception, you think her life is perfect? Perfect is just something we see and believe that it is, but its actually only on the outside, its different when you actually get closer to it.
Give yourself a chance, and don't rush into things, your still young and you haven't experienced anything yet, there is so much to come, and life doesn't stop because you lost someone who isn't even worth it to begin with.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, you know you can contact me at anytime. Best of luck :D
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I usually give advice to other people about this kinda stuff, but I currently I've found myself in a difficult situation that I could use some other opinions on.
I'm a guy in my early 20's that's been dating a girl for a little over half a year. The problem is she lives in another country, and I met her when I went abroad for half a year. The last two months we've been apart. I feel like she really is happy with the relationship, but I personally am not because of the long distance and some other reasons. I know it's selfish, but the reason I'm still with her is that I don't want to feel the loneliness of not having someone care about me in that way. I feel like even though I'm not happy with it that I would hurt her a lot by ending it also, and that I might lose some friends that are close to her and me, because they will take her side on it.
She's coming here for a year next year, but after that she'll be gone, and so I said eventually it would have to end and she got very defensive. She always ask me if I'm cheating on her, but I can assure you I'm not. She's really worried about the relationship not working out.
I just don't feel that connection, and i don't see it as that serious. I really have fun with her, but I don't feel a strong love connection, and I am absolutely sure that I wouldn't want to marry her.
I just don't know what to do, because eventually I will break up with her, but initially I was gonna wait it out and see what happens since she is coming back next year. I wish we could both just see the relationship as a non-serious thing, but I feel like she can't see it like that. I was just having fun with it, but I guess she has a much more serious view of the relationship.
Any advice or perspectives on my situation would really help me out. Thanks a lot (link)
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Usually i would tell you to keep fighting for your relationship and hold on and bear to make it work out, and especially that she's coming next year ,so that might be something to help you connect and to rekindle your love and feelings for each other.
And I would also usually say that, if you are really serious about it, you wouldn't have to worry about the distant thing, cause if you really love her,you'd marry her, and then you'd move to the same country, either to hers or yours, and you'd live together and lead a normal life.
But then you don't love her that way, and you don't see yourself marrying her, and when you talk about it, you sound more to me that you enjoy her company as a friend, but not as a lover or a serious relationship and commitment. And i myself have never believed in distant relationships, its unfair, and wastes your opportunity to meet people in your own country, and to be with people you see everyday.
And its amazing that you are not cheating on her and being faithful, you really seem like a loyal decent person, but it would be even more amazing if you give all this love to someone you can actually have a normal working relationship with, cause its so unfair to you and to her, but if she doesn't see that its unfair for her, then it is to you.
Basically i think you should let go of this, and believe me, it'll be easier to get over it than if it was actually a real relationship with someone you see everyday, cause you can simply just not get online, and like block her or something,and just lose contact, and don't even ask when will she come or don't plan to see her or don't think about any of this, as long as you know that it still wouldn't lead anywhere.
I know it'll hurt, for her more, cause she seems like she really believes in what you two have together, but it just won't work, and maybe at first she'll be mad at you, but soon she'll know that you were right.
And i would've really told you to continue and make it work, but since you don't even have feelings for her in that way, than even let her go for her own best interest, for her to find someone who would actually love her and want to be with her and marry her.
If she agrees that you'd still be friends and ask about each other every once in a while, then thats cool, so you'd still have her as some sort of part in your life, although i don't recommend that,cause it won't work, cause you'll end up talking to her again and hooking up again.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me,if you need anything else. Best of luck
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There is a kid in my lunch class. I need to walk by his table to get to mine and every single day he is at his table already with his food. I will walk by and try not to look at him like a creep (I'm kinda diggin him, btw) but sometimes I'll look at him and he'll be looking at me already. I love it and usually I'm the one who breaks the glance. We'll look at each other while I'm walking to my table and he'll look at me until he can't anymore without turning around. What does this mean? Does he think I'm cute? What do I do? Thanks! (link)
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Well why don't you make a move if he won't make one, why don't you go over to his table one of those times and say hi or act friendly, or start up a random conversation, or ask if you could sit with him, and you could talk or hang out a bit.
I mean, if you just keep looking at each other, then that won't get you anywhere, and obviously your both shy and scared to make a move, so one of you has to take the lead, so maybe you should, and it will be awkward and freaky the first time, but imagine if it works out, you'd get along and you'll get to know him and hang out with him every lunch break.
And hey, sometimes when you actually get to know a person, you find that you don't really like him as much as you did from a distance, people are different when you actually know them, so know him, and find out if he is even your type, or what do you have in common, or if this would really work out.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck
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When you've loved someone and have waited for them for seven years straight(continue to)--would this be considered as love or lust? (link)
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Its definitely love, but where is this person? Does he know about you loving him so much and waiting for him, I mean, if its really love, then why are you waiting? why don't you share it with this person and take a move forward, finally let go of these feelings and express them with this person. Why keep them to yourself and express them in fantasies, its a waste to just throw this love away. Its love alright, and you should share it.
Hope i helped, if you want to talk more about this in details, please be free to contact me. Best of luck.
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if you saw your husband sending messages to other girls lets say thru facebook or myspace etch and he wrote "hey bby let me get your aim or msn,your a cutie" while being with you would you get mad?? but without him knowin you check his thing . (link)
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Yes ofcourse I'd get mad, and maybe that's only what you know about, maybe he watches porn, or sees other girls, or meets up with hookers or goes to clubs, the list would not end, but these are only assumptions. But him doing what he does means he has a tendency to do more than just texting girls online, and you should definitely confront him about it, tell him you came across it unintentionally.
But why would he do that, take a second and ask yourself, is there something going on between u? do you fight alot? is your marriage not stable? Maybe there is something that makes him talk to other girls, maybe its cause your not filling his emotional life completely, try to be there more, see what he wants, try to fill his needs. Talk with him about it.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck
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I feel really weird asking this, but I have to. Im almost done with my period, and this morning I woke up with really bad cramps. Except they didnt feel like cramps. They are much, much lower than usual. I have been having them on and off all day. What could this be? And should I be worried? (link)
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Well sometimes cramps last till the very end of one's period, and sometimes cause the period hasn't completely menstruated cause of some sort of trouble thats causing it not to be discharged, so it causes cramps,sometimes even after one finishes their period, it discharges again after a few days, its because it hasn't all been discharged earlier, like left overs. Maybe your stressed of some sort, so thats not allowing its smooth normal discharge. So maybe you should consider relaxing, and maybe drinking cinnamon tea or with milk, cause cinnamon helps in its discharge. And then wait till your completely done with your period, like a day after it finishes, and see if you still have those cramps, if you do, then you should consult a doctor then, cause we can't help diagnose you here.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck.
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My ex and i have resently started talking again. One day hes completely into me and the next he talks to me as a mutal friend. Hes always around and i find myself looking for him.
How can i get over him? and see what his true feelings towards me are? (link)
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If he's interested, he'll make an official move. He's probably confused himself, he's some what scared to make a move and that you'd get back together and then end up breaking up again and hurting each other, maybe he's scared to hurt you again, or you'd do the same to him, considering what you broke up for the very first time,which you haven't mentioned.
Maybe he's not sure of his feelings, and that's yet another reason why he might be afraid to hurt you again. Or maybe he just misses you, and wants you to be a part of his life in any way, you know, he misses talking to you or sometimes, fooling around like you used to do together and these are the times when you feel that he's completely into you.
So its basically just about that, when sometimes you break up with someone, you'd rather have him in your life as whatever part of it, better than completely losing him, and thats an advantage, cause some ppl when they break up, they lose each other as dates and as friends, and thats whats mostly upsetting, that you were great friends, and just cause you started dating and it didn't work out, you completely lose everything you had.
So play along, as long is it doesn't hurt you, but don't expect anything, because these are exactly his intentions as i mentioned, and don't get confused or wonder, maybe or what if. Yes maybe one day he'd suddenly be sure of his feelings again and think that yes he wants to get back with you, and then at that time, yes you should think differently. But for now, grasp the advantage of having him as a part of your life, even if not so close, it still feels good, just talking to him and having him.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck :D
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15/f
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 5 months. It was completely fine. But I did end up liking another guy. I didn't let that get to me because I know that happens sometimes and I'd rather be with my bf. He is the best to me and actually cares.
But one of my friends, who is one of his friends is really close with me. We talk all the time. He tells me what a horrible boyfriend I have because he doesn't talk to me as much as he did before and that he treats me better than my own boyfriend. Honestly, he is a good friend and all, but its killing me because in a way the things he says is true but I don't want to leave him.
Recently I found out my boyfriend likes another girl too. My friend that I talk to all the time told me. I listened in on the conversation, so it's not like he's lying about it. But I know he doesn't want to get with that girl and he wants to stay with me. I didn't let it get to me since I like another guy. But I started thinking about it and now I kinda feel really hurt. I've been doubting us for a long time and I guess I just tell myself he doesn't care for me anymore because there is someone else.
My friend told me I should break up with him. I'm moving in the summer so it's gonna happen eventually but I don't want to. I really care about him and he swears he loves me. He really proved himself but now I'm so confused.
Maybe I should talk to him?
I would but I'm not even supposed to know he likes another girl.
Please help, thanks! (link)
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First of all, no you shouldn't talk to him about it because then he'd think your spying on him and not trusting him and that would really upset him. And even if you come to break up with him, you shouldn't even mention that you know he likes someone else or that you listened in on one of the conversations to prove it.
Second of all, it is obvious what your friend is doing, trying to break u up with your boyfriend and build doubts in your mind, so you'd listen to him, which you are doing, and break up with your boyfriend, which you are considering, then he'd make his move in and ask you to be his girlfriend, which you will also agree to. And yes maybe all he's telling you about your boyfriend is true, so its not really wrong what your friend is doing by telling you all this, but here is the thing, your kind of doing the same, i mean, you have your times when you unintentionally fall for someone else, or talk to that mutual friend you both have where you obviously have something going on between you both. So yes it happens, that sometimes you look to someone else or have feelings for someone else, its sometimes more like attraction or admiration or a new temporary phase of excitement, but nothing serious, and you can't judge the person till he actually does something wrong, like cheat on you, or sleep with this person or kiss this person or does something major.
Its obvious that your friend got to you with his words, and maybe part of it is because what your friend is saying is actually true, but unconsciously another part of it is because deep inside you have feelings for your friend, that you don't seem to care much anymore if you leave your boyfriend, and you are considering to break up with him, so you'd share your feelings with your friend.
So basically now, i'm gonna tell you to think about this on your own, without any of your friend's advice or influence on you, and think whether you love your boyfriend ,if you still do, and if you wanna be with him, and if you decide to break up with him, break up cause things aren't the same anymore, or cause you don't love him as much anymore, but not because he might admire another girl or is being nice to another girl,neither cause you might have feelings for your friend, cause you know something, maybe this other girl is a friend to him just like you have that friend of yours, and you probably talk to this friend in a sweet admiring way, and if your boyfriend would listen into your conversation, he'd think the same, but not just cause he didn't,makes him wrong and your not.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck :D
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My younger sister has always straight A's on EVERYTHING. While I on the other hand make A's through D's. I never used to make anything below a C+ but this past school year was hard for me. I had other responsibilities that distracted me from my school work and deprived me of sleep. I used to stay up for hours every night doing my homework and projects. School owned my life. Ive NEVER seen my sister do homework, study, or do ANYTHING school related. And when it comes to common sense, she's pretty stupid. My parents are disappointed in me and always compare me to her, and I hate it. I think there's something wrong with me thats making it so much harder for me to learn. I always zone out after a while, or take much longer to realize things that most people get RIGHT AWAY. My parents say Im a failure, even though i havent even failed anything yet. Something is wrong with me because my GPA has dropped tremendously. Any suggestions? (link)
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Well first of all, about your sister or other people not studying and yet getting good grades easily, that's usually something in them, they do act stupid and you'd think they're stupid, and they never study, and when they do ,they just spend an hour or very little time. But some types of people just focus in class and lectures and they just understand everything and sometimes memorize, so they don't need to study later on, and sometimes you'd even think that they don't focus in class but they do. It could be something to do with their IQ, or that's just their brain, or a gift from god. But i do know people who are like that. Sometimes its frustrating,that they just get their own way without hard work like normal people do.But there is nothing you can do about it.
And stop comparing yourself to your sister, studying is not a competition, you know, sometimes there are really smart people and they get good grades all through out their lives, and then at one point, they just crash it all down with a big disappointment when they go to a useless college at the very end, or just get married and sit at home. You don't study to be better than anyone or ur sister, you study cause you have an aim, or a goal, and your trying to achieve it. And you just do your best.
I, for example, always have trouble studying, I space out all the time, and just wonder off, and i waste so much time, and i have trouble focusing both in classes and when i study on my own.
And usually what i do, is to push myself.
What your problem could be that you have bad time management 0r a bad studying strategy or a bad studying atmosphere.
Figure out whether you like to study at morning or night, meaning, when you come from school, or late at night when everyone's asleep, its sometimes better, cause its quite then. you can get home after school and sleep, and wake up at night and study till the next morning.
You need to revise things more than once, cause sometimes some people have trouble memorizing. You can do plans and summaries to make your studying easier,make a schedule for your studies and follow it day by day. Focus more in class.
And no your parents don't think your a failure, they just say that to encourage you, so take their disappointment as a means of encouragement for you to do better in your studies and study harder. They just wanna push you, see you doing well, and they want the best for you.So prove them wrong.And if you have trouble in anything, ask your teachers for help or extra credit.
And sometimes school isn't what shows your intelligence, i know people who used to score low in school, but once they got to college, they're practically on top of their class.It depends on what subjects your into, and what field you understand better, and college will show that.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck
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I hate the way my family treat me. They constantly rag on me for no reason. All i do is walk in the room and they will say something about me to hurt my feelings. For instance, my dad yelled at me for eating one time, telling me id get fat. (At the time i was 115 lbs.) I wouldnt even eat for days, and one meal..i would get yelled at. For a while, I used to starve myself because I was sick of getting yelled at and sneaking food at midnight. Now, i eat less and my dad will laugh and joke about how Im anorexic, which isnt true. My younger sister also calls me fat, when im only 125. (Im 16). She even calls me a dyke (not true) because ive never had a boyfriend. She, on the other hand, goes out and sleeps with every guy that says hello to her. My dad knows it, but he still laughs and calls me that too and tells me im never going to get a boyfriend. My dad thinks i should drop out of high school because my grades werent as good as last years. (Im still on honor roll.) I dont make straight A's like my sis, and Im not outgoing as my sis. And because of that, they call me a failure and doubt my intelligence. Im sick of them treating me like im nothing. They say they are "joking" but they know how much it hurts and continue to do it all the time. They enjoy seeing me down and thats why they keep bringing me down. I used to ask them to stop, but they dont listen. Now i just ignore them because i know words cannot kill me. But honestly, they are. I never thought words could be so powerful and have such an influence on me, but the consistancy of it has ruined my self esteem and has caused me to stop talking. Im starting to believe i am nothing, because thats how im always treated. Any advice? Dont tell me to talk to them or anyone. I have tried it so many times in the past, they ARENT going to listen. (link)
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I know exactly how you feel, and what your talking about, and how that really hurts you so much and touches you no matter how many times it is said to you, you just never come to adapt or accept it, but it gets to you every single time, until you really start believing what is said. But imagine the worst, imagine being called a bitch or a whore, imagine hearing that from every single person you ever meet in your life, and the only people you don't wanna hear it from are your parents because you'd think they'd believe in you, but on the contrary they tell it to you every single day and in every fight or arguement or any simple thing you do. It makes you lose confidence and respect in yourself and your dignity, and makes you wanna go out there and shout out to people they are like this, and when they ask you why would you say that about yourself, you say, because thats what my parents tell me I am and make me believe that this is who i am.
If your capable of adapting to it, meaning that, you are capable of not making their words and what they say get to you, and you just ignore them, and when they tell you whatever, you just joke back with them and laugh and show them that you don't care, if you can do that, then go ahead and do it. And eventually they'll see that you don't take their words seriously and you don't really care about what they're saying, cause every parent has their own parenting skills, and obviously yours have some really bad ones, no offense, but in everyone's skills they think that they're doing whats best for you, and unfortunately, they're thinking the same with you, they wanna make you be perfect, have a healthy life, not to be overweight or underweight, and to have a boyfriend and get high scores in your studies, but the way they express that is low and hurting. But you can try to understand it in your own way, think that no matter what, your parents love you, although they don't express it in the right way.
If you can't accept it, there is pretty much nothing to do about it, because your parents are not your friends, you can't fight back or stop talking to them or treat them bad, because they are your parents and your the kid, and no matter what, you can't change that, so you might as well accept it. You can try talking to them less, don't sit with them much, just say hi and bye, whats up, hang out on your own, in your room, focus on your studies, use the excuse that you have so much studies so as not to sit with them. Have your own life and space, hang out with your friends, join some activity you like, pick a sport, maybe join something online. Just have something to fill up your time. And as long as you do get good grades and prove them wrong, they'll have less to critisize about you.
And about your sister, they spoiled her with all their good comments and encouragement they give her, and if she sides with you, then she'd be against them, and they'd start crisizing her too, and she probably doesn't want that. And you know, it runs in so many families, that one kid is treated bad and picked on most of the time, and its usually the youngest. But the thing is,what these parents don't know, is that one day, when they grow up and they're sick and can barely move, this kid who they've been so bad to, is the one whose gonna sit there and be with them and nurse them, and this kid is gonna do this with all his heart and love. But they don't know that. And all the other kids they had and spoiled will barely ask about them. So to your family, your a favourite, at one point of life, maybe not now, maybe not today, but somewhere there.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, or if you'd like to talk more, please be free to contact me. Best of luck :D
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since like 9 this morning (its about two now) i have had a sharp, vertical stomach pain about 3 inches long right under my belly button that worsens when i stand up straight. does anyone know what this could be? (link)
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We can't diagnose you from here, cause we don't know the exact symptoms or your medical history, and we can't examine you here, so its necessary for you to consult a doctor and immediately cause this sounds serious,if its really hurting you that much.
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thankss :) ok i was with this kid for 2 yrs and 4 months. he left to the dominican republic and ovethere he ended up cheating on me with another girl. it hurted me alot because i lost my verginity to him i know i wasent supposed to do that,but i loved him too much and thought we were gonna last. :( i guess not.. before he left to the dominican republic he saw a [icture of me holding hands with a kid and closed but that wasent that much of a big deal.. but he said it was ok so wen he left he took pictures with a girl i was really mad.when he came back he told me that was his cousin which was ali because she said that was her man. right now they broke up..and now he looks for me to have sex and tahst it . i feel devasted becasue i try to get over him but i just cant..it hurts me alot and speacilly when i listen to a sad song :( please help me..if you were in thsi situation..i dont know wat to do..am only 17 and him too. (link)
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First of all, you shouldn't have any contact with him ever again, and don't ever agree to have sex with him when he looks for you, and if he tries to talk to you, tell him to leave you alone and to never contact you again.
I will try to say this in the nicest way I can, but I have to be honest, he does not love you, he might have loved you one day and cared for you, but he no longer does. He is just simply using you now, for the sex, because he wants it, and because he can't find anyone to have it with, so don't stoop down your dignity and respect and allow him to sleep with you when he has hurt you so bad and is using you like that.
And it has nothing to do with the picture of the kid, if this had to do with anything, then he paid you back when he took pics with that other girl, whoever she was.
When someone loves someone, no matter how long or far they seperate or how distant they are, they never look to someone else, let alone have sex with someone else, then simply he doesn't really love you in the meaning of true love. And not only love, but respect too, he should respect you and respect your feelings and that your supposed to be his lover and for god's sake, losing your virginity to someone means this someone must have been so special to you and important that you actually gave him a part of you, and then that's the way he treats you? that's how he pays you back? how he loves you back? He doesn't care for you or love you. And when you come to think of all this, you are supposed to hate him, and feel so mad at him and angry, for how he hurt you and how he treated you and just cheated on you so easily like that. But your not going to think that way, i know you won't, because i know that no matter what he has done to you, you still have feelings for him and you still love him and sometimes you still miss him and want him and wish that everything was okay and you dream of him on sad songs, and you simply can't move on, and all that because your blinded with love, with you loving him so much, that you are refusing to see his flaws and faults. And this honey is called love, You love him, but its a shame, cause he's not worth it, and he doesn't deserve you. Imagine giving all this love to someone else who would deserve it and would love you back.
But the thing is, moving on is not just words i can write to you in advice, or something to say or do, and some people sometimes never move on at all. Moving on is not forgetting this someone or forgetting what you shared or losing your feelings to this person, but moving on is adapting and accepting what has happened and trying to live with it, and that's not something you can do at the spur of moment or the next morning, but its something that takes time, sometimes so much time, especially when you've shared with this person so much, but eventually you do.
Sometimes it helps you move on more quickly when you meet someone else, or occupy your time with something that can take your mind off all this, like hanging out with your friends, or being with your family, family is the most important thing, cause you might lose every single person in your life, but you will never lose your family no matter what happens or what you do. And try to focus on your studies or take up some activity, or basically just lead your life normally and stop thinking about it.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else, and if you need to talk more about this or if there are any new updates. Best of luck :D
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Hey Lola! This Is The chick that had the "should I date his friend" problem.I absolutely Loved Your Advice and decided to get more of it becuase u keep it real. But anywho,I took your advice the first tyme and completely left my ex-boyfriend ALONE! And me and his friend are getting closer.He Is Coming Into town from college for spring break and he invited me to come over to his place since his mother will be absent the whole break.Yeah..Wow.So the thing is,I have no idea what to do.Should I go Becuase I was ThinkinG About going but i have no idea on how I should act in front of him.This would be the first time that we would be alone together And since i turn into a clumsy fool in front of my crushes I just dont wanna mess this one up.I want Him 2 Start feeling me without doing to much you know? I dont wanna seem easy but I do want him to know that I do Like Him Alot.And what should I wear? Something simple? Something Sexy? Or A lITTLE OF BOTH? hELP!? (link)
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Okay honey, I don't see a reason why you shouldn't go to his place, but at the same time, something tells me that its a bit too fast, its like you jumped a major step, from you crushing over him to actually going over to his place and who knows what might happen there. You know, if something happened, like you had sex or even he tried to, it wouldn't make you look 'easy' to him, its just the feeling of two people sitting alone in a house and feeling something for each other which makes them think of things and do things. On the contrary when its two people who've known each other for a while and are officially dating, they can then control their emotions and know what they're gonna do with each other and how to react.
And that's one point.
Other thing is, you can go, honey your free to go, it's not my job to tell you whether to go or not, but its my job to advice you on what your gonna do there. If you think you can control things over there and that its completely no worry for you, then go ahead. And when you go there, its gonna be weird and awkward and your gonna be shy and your gonna blush and your face is gonna go red and your going to say stupid things and act clumsy,and do all those little thingys that you think would give him a bad impression about you, but it won't, that's what we always think, but it won't, infact it will tell him that you like him, and that you are trying hard to make a good impression, meaning that you care about him and what he thinks. Don't worry, he won't make fun of you or lose interest or think that your stupid or anything just because you'll act a bit clumsy, a real clumsy person shows, but the clumsy type of person because he's shy or feeling awkward is something different.
When you go there, you be yourself, be your complete normal self, like you sitting with a friend or with yourself, talk like you always talk, and don't exaggerate or make up stories to sound cool or interesting, and don't try to attract him by acting in any way that is just not you. Cause once when he falls in love with you, he's gonna fall inlove with you as in the real you, as in the normal every day you, not a fake makeup impression that your gonna set the first time. You get me? And if he likes you, then he'd like you for you, and if he didn't ,then screw him lol he doesn't deserve you, which will not happen by the way hehe.
About what to wear, don't wear something showing too much skin so he wouldn't think you wanna do it with him, and don't wear something that is too slutty (no offense) so he wouldn't think your being too easy, and don't wear something long and with sleeves and hide all your skin lol so it wouldn't be nun-like or anything. Just wear what you wear everyday, like your normal self, but make it pretty. Like a normal outfit but a pretty one, one that makes you pretty, that shows your figure in a decent way. You know how everyone usually has 'THE' Outfit, or your favourite outfit or something, that just looks great on you, you know.
So in the end, you going or not going is something completely up to you, but my job is to be here and advice you on either of your choices.
So if you don't go, because maybe you wouldn't feel comfortable, maybe you can suggest hanging out or meeting somewhere, doing something else special but outside amongst people, seeing that your not actually an official couple,and your still new at this together.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me, and please update me if you want, and I'll be there for you. Best of luck :D
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i've been told told by my boyfriend and his causin that my friend some lies about me she says she didnt but they keep telling me she did i dont want to put them before her but i cant really trust her since she slept with my ex so what should i do who to believe (link)
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I think you shouldn't even call her your friend ever since she slept with your ex, i don't really know how your still friends, but clearly you shouldn't be, cause the person who can back stab you once and lie to you, can easily do it again.
So first of all, she's not your friend, and you shouldn't know her, and ofcourse yes you shouldn't trust her. And if she really is telling lies about you, then its only cause she's jealous of you or of the life you have, and if she has a chance to steal your new boyfriend, she will do it, so be careful of her, and make your distance.
Don't bother yourself thinking who to trust or not, cause you shouldn't believe any word that comes out of her mouth, so ofcourse you should trust your boyfriend and cousin, why do you even care what she says about you? Let her say whatever she wants, no one will believe her, at least not the ones who know you well and are the closest to you. And since your boyfriend and cousin are insisting that she is talking about you behind your back and is making lies ,then maybe the next time they hear her saying something like that, they should stand up for you and defend you and tell her to stop.
Other than that, just don't bother with her at all, and don't even confront her, cause all she wants is attention, and your giving her that, and as long as you are, she'll keep on hurting you and doing things intentionally to get your attention. So just get her out of your mind and don't bother at all with her, and eventually she'll give up and leave you alone.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck.
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Alright, I'm sick of people saying that I don't know what love is. My friend Cierra thinks the same. She's in a relationship with her bf they have been dating for 3 years, and she says that anyone can be in love at almost any age. My bf is the guy I want, he helps me feel better when no one else can. I sometimes cry and pray to god that he won't take him away from me because I have never been treated this well before. I"ve dated 3 other guys than him in the past and they never came close to be this close to me. Him and I think the same, and feel and worry in the same ways. We both need each other or we will be lost, we wouldn't know how to get threw life. We both feel like outcasts, alone and we don't fit in* even though I think he has more friends than I* He doesn't like it when I get depressed and lonely he helps me soo much. My brother told me i shouldnt be so dependent on a guy, but he's the only person I want. I just want to show people that this IS love, my parents don't like me and my bf together because he's 2 years older. He's not what they think he is. I know they want me to be safe and what not, and they don't want me to be sexual active. *which im not* I'm waiting and he respects that XD He said " You don't have to do anything your not comfortable with. I love you to much to hurt you." The most we have done is kissed. I'm shy, and quiet he's loud *when he's with me or friends* and a dare devil haha >.> Will everyone eventually get use to us? We've been dating sense january i think? He knows all that. lol There getting a little bit use to it ..my parents...i just don't want them to think badly of my bf. >.< Please tell me what you think..thank you. XD (link)
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Well you know what,you are right and you DO know what love is,because from how you describe your relationship with your boyfriend,it does really sound like its based on love and that you need each other, and that you depend on each other and care and stuff. And its something major that you fight for each other against your parents and your brother's opinion, and how you generally fight for your love and try to save it and make it thrive.
And your boyfriend seems like a decent guy, how he doesn't want you physically and respects your wishes on waiting and not being sexually involved from now.
And yes your parents are just looking after you, and in life, you will learn that no matter who you are dating, even if he's the most perfect guy ever, your parents will still find a reason to reject him because they will always find a non existing excuse to want the best for you. But they do have good intentions and they love you so much and your their little girl and thats why they do that.
But in the very very end... what your parents and brother and friend are trying to tell you when they say that you don't know what love is... is that your young, and when we're young, in that teenage phase, we're more like adult-wanna be like, and we think we're experiencing it all, but actually ,we are experiencing nothing, and no matter who is gonna tell you what, and convince you with that, you will never believe it and you will always think that you are grown up and that you do really love and that its really love, and you will never believe them, till you actually grow up yourself and get older and see what they really meant and what they were trying to say, right then, when you do experience THE real love and really know what it is.
I mean, that guy your with now, do you see yourself marrying him, having sex with him, having kids with him, living with him for the rest of your whole entire life. And even if you say yes, later on, when you meet others, you'll say pretty much the same thing about every one of them, till you practically meet THE ONE, and sometimes, some people don't, sometimes even THE ONE is not who you end up marrying.
So here is the thing, i'm not even gonna tell you to wait till the end of this year, just give it a couple of months more,if your still together, and you still feel the same way about each other, then maybe we are all wrong, and you are right and you do know what love is. But i just hope that if you don't continue with him, you'd learn something out of it, that these are all just phases we're going through, and that no, we don't know what love is, not yet, not at young age.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else or if you'd like to talk more. Best of luck.
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There is this kid in my gym class who I'm really diggin, like he's really cute and sweet but every time I'm near a guy I like I get nervous and can't talk to them. However, my friend is such a doll and talks to him for me so today she told him me and my other friend are going to be on facebook and that he should go on so I can talk to him and he said "I will most definitely be on" then she said good, she's afraid to talk to you in person because you'll think she's weird and he said "no, I wouldn't at all, I think it's cute that she's shy, we're alike in that way." and my friend said yeaa but I'll get her to talk to you soon and he said "Good, I really want her to talk to me." sooo, I gather that he's kinda diggin me too, right? Now, what do I do from here? I know the obvious is to talk to him but what do I say? I feel like it'll be weird because he knows I like him. I also see him one period a day which is gym, at the beginning of the period, he's hackysacking with friends then they have to go in the locker room and change, then he goes to his squad and I go to mine.. so I don't see him, that's also a factor. Please help. I'm in such a rut. Thanks. (link)
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Well you could first start talking to him on facebook or online,get to know him there, ask him questions about him, but not in like an interrogating way, just hold a normal friendly conversation, and see what you have in common. Its basically a better way to first meet someone and set your real first impression, because sometimes when you see someone face to face and your shy, so things are awkward, so you set the wrong impression and stuff.
And yes he sounds like he's interested too, i'm not sure if he likes you with the meaning of like, cause he doesn't know you yet, and actually you don't know him either yet, so don't skip to conclusions, sometimes when you actually get closer to someone its different than when knowing him from a distance.
And your friend didn't actually tell him that you like him, she just indirectly said it, so that could mean that you just want to be friends but your shy, afraid to take the first move.
And hey, eventually you will have to take the first move, and it will be hard, and your gonna blush and your face is just gonna be all red, and your gonna say stupid things lol but it happens, and i bet he'll do the same lol, but eventually you'll have to do it, and it will just be once, and you never know, sometimes it goes well hehe that's why its better if you talk online first, so that at least you'd know each other in someway.
And about not seeing him in school, maybe when you talk online, you'd set a date or like a time where you could hang out, maybe after school or at a free time you both have, so you'd be able to hang out.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck :D
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