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I hate it when ppl say i don't know what "love is"
14 f
Alright, I'm sick of people saying that I don't know what love is. My friend Cierra thinks the same. She's in a relationship with her bf they have been dating for 3 years, and she says that anyone can be in love at almost any age. My bf is the guy I want, he helps me feel better when no one else can. I sometimes cry and pray to god that he won't take him away from me because I have never been treated this well before. I"ve dated 3 other guys than him in the past and they never came close to be this close to me. Him and I think the same, and feel and worry in the same ways. We both need each other or we will be lost, we wouldn't know how to get threw life. We both feel like outcasts, alone and we don't fit in* even though I think he has more friends than I* He doesn't like it when I get depressed and lonely he helps me soo much. My brother told me i shouldnt be so dependent on a guy, but he's the only person I want. I just want to show people that this IS love, my parents don't like me and my bf together because he's 2 years older. He's not what they think he is. I know they want me to be safe and what not, and they don't want me to be sexual active. *which im not* I'm waiting and he respects that XD He said " You don't have to do anything your not comfortable with. I love you to much to hurt you." The most we have done is kissed. I'm shy, and quiet he's loud *when he's with me or friends* and a dare devil haha >.> Will everyone eventually get use to us? We've been dating sense january i think? He knows all that. lol There getting a little bit use to it ..my parents...i just don't want them to think badly of my bf. >.< Please tell me what you think..thank you. XD
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It's not that you can't possibly know what love is, it's just that the odds are against you knowing. Being a teenager is a hormonal time, those new hormones can make feelings seem more intense. There are also new experiences and new environments in high school. Also, older people will remember thinking being told they didn't know what love was as a teenager, and thinking they did, and then realizing they were wrong. Just trying to give you some perspective / an explanation for why people say it. Me? I still don't know what love is, but it is entirely possible that you do.
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Well you know what,you are right and you DO know what love is,because from how you describe your relationship with your boyfriend,it does really sound like its based on love and that you need each other, and that you depend on each other and care and stuff. And its something major that you fight for each other against your parents and your brother's opinion, and how you generally fight for your love and try to save it and make it thrive.
And your boyfriend seems like a decent guy, how he doesn't want you physically and respects your wishes on waiting and not being sexually involved from now.
And yes your parents are just looking after you, and in life, you will learn that no matter who you are dating, even if he's the most perfect guy ever, your parents will still find a reason to reject him because they will always find a non existing excuse to want the best for you. But they do have good intentions and they love you so much and your their little girl and thats why they do that.
But in the very very end... what your parents and brother and friend are trying to tell you when they say that you don't know what love is... is that your young, and when we're young, in that teenage phase, we're more like adult-wanna be like, and we think we're experiencing it all, but actually ,we are experiencing nothing, and no matter who is gonna tell you what, and convince you with that, you will never believe it and you will always think that you are grown up and that you do really love and that its really love, and you will never believe them, till you actually grow up yourself and get older and see what they really meant and what they were trying to say, right then, when you do experience THE real love and really know what it is.
I mean, that guy your with now, do you see yourself marrying him, having sex with him, having kids with him, living with him for the rest of your whole entire life. And even if you say yes, later on, when you meet others, you'll say pretty much the same thing about every one of them, till you practically meet THE ONE, and sometimes, some people don't, sometimes even THE ONE is not who you end up marrying.
So here is the thing, i'm not even gonna tell you to wait till the end of this year, just give it a couple of months more,if your still together, and you still feel the same way about each other, then maybe we are all wrong, and you are right and you do know what love is. But i just hope that if you don't continue with him, you'd learn something out of it, that these are all just phases we're going through, and that no, we don't know what love is, not yet, not at young age.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else or if you'd like to talk more. Best of luck.
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First off, you need to stop worrying about what other people besides your parents thing. Parents are important, they're going to have to respect your decisions and so you want to show them that they can early. Everyone else should be ignored.
Second, I want to explain what people mean, because you'll not be nearly as upset about this in a few years.
Imagine that your soul is a dry planet, and Love is water. When you first start dating someone, Love is a bucket of water sitting on the ground. That water is real, it's sitting right there, but it's a small amount of water, and it's just kind of sitting there. It could get knocked over, kicked over, etc.
Now as you get to know someone, you (hopefully) fall deeper into love with them. Love is no longer a bucket in the ground, Love is a swimming pool dug out. It's more difficult to fill said pool, but it's also more difficult to empty, and there's a shitload more water.
This continues. A swimming pool becomes a lake. A lake becomes a sea. A sea becomes an ocean.
By comparison, picture the globe as you know it today, with its oceans and continents. That's what it's like for me and my wife. She's not only a part of me, but a significantly huge part. More than that, I'm different because of all that Love, the water had to go somewhere, so it went in places that were scooped out of me. It's a part of me, and I'm pretty permanently changed because of it.
When people tell you at 14 you don't know what Love is, it's because they know that you're probably somewhere around the bucket or swimming pool stages.
That's not to say that your feelings aren't real, aren't powerful, are fake, etc. Love is Love. Water is Water. But when you're older, you will fully understand the metaphor I just gave you.
I mean, do you think that if you and your current boyfriend work well together that you've already reached the deepest depths of what you can feel for him? I promise you've more than likely barely scratched the surface, and when you realize that it can get a bit scary. I'm not making any assumptions about your relationship either way, but I am saying that as you grow up your capacity for Love will grow with you (and as you experience relationships, it will similarly grow from that too)and compared to what you will be able to feel in the future your Love is a bucket in the ocean.
For your parents, use the word "respect" often. As in "he treats me with respect". Your parents are going to be more scared of you getting hurt, getting an STD, getting pregnant, or all the other things that can happen as a result of kids dating. And they're going to be thinking these things from a "someone's going to hurt our little girl" perspective.
So, the real trick here is to take charge (at least in your parents eyes). You respect your boy, and he respects you. That message is paramount. If you can make your parents believe that you set the pace of this relationship and not the other way around, they'll be more focused on you than him, which is exactly what you want. You want them to believe that you're not going to let anything you don't want happen to you, so that all they have left to worry about is what you're going to let happen to you (in other words, worry about YOUR decisions) which is the most normal thing for parents of teens to worry about in the world, and is the easiest to address because while you can stare them down and flat out tell them that you've earned trust, your boyfriend can't exactly do the same thing.
Bring him over for dinner. Not now, necessarily, give it a few more months probably, but introducing him (assuming he knows how to kiss parental ass and pretend to be the perfect boy who wouldn't dream of having sex until marriage, etc) could go a long way towards allaying their fears about him, and give you a leg up on making them face the fact that you're making your own choices here, not having your choices made for you.
Parents always try to blame outside influences so their kids can remain perfect angels.
You're 14. You're in puberty, you're developing sexually, and your parents are going to have to accept that at some point. The sooner you get them used to "I'm not some innocent little kid anymore" the better. Expect that little revelation be a bit rocky, especially if you're the first child your parents will be terrified that something horrible will happen when they let you out of their sight to start working on being an adult.
You need to show them that you're trustworthy, both in and out of relationships, and you need to show them that you're independent enough that they need to focus on you and what you do rather than the risks of what other people might make you do.
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ok.. Anyone can find love, at any age.
I don't think that people know what they're really saying when they tell you that you don't know what love is..
I think that they are just trying to tell you in the wrong way, that even if you and your b/f split up one day.. hopefully you won't.. but that if you do. It will be hard.. you'll feel like there is a huge hole in your chest and for a while you'll feel like you can't even breath. but your young and you'll find another.
You brother is just looking out for you.. because he is a guy.. and he knows how guys think.. he's also trying to prepare you for the worst that COULD happen one day.
And as for your parents, they will NEVER approve of anyone you date.. no one will ever be good enough.. because you are they're baby!!
Don't get mad or upset.. don't stress about it.. just keep living your life the way you know is right! You don't have to have sex, to make it feel like REAL love.
Real love is great with out the physical aspect of things.. and once you do graduate to that step in life and love.. you'll know that it's exactly what you want.. you'll know when the time is right.. you'll feel it in your heart.. not in your pants :D
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