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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Okay i am a female of 17 years. for about a year now i have trouble sleeping, either i cant get to sleep or i wake up 2-3 times a night. The only time I sleep throught the night is when my boyfriend stays with me, but i wake up early. Its not very often that he does. Do i have insomnia or could this be something else
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
You say your problem has gone on for a year. The advice given before me is good advice if the problem had just started; but this is now a long term thing. It is time to check in with your family doctor to find out why you are having this problem.
Just a side note: two of the signs of depression are sleeplessness and waking during the night. Teenage depression is very common at your age. Given all the pressure most teenagers your age find themselves under; what with the pressures of High School, trying to find the right College not to mention the social pressure you put yourself through. Teenage depression at your age is a common malady often over looked by parents and doctors. Why? Because it is that common it is looked at as more of a phase children go through.
In some schools your guidance counselor can screen you for depression. If they can�t then I suggest you see your family doctor and ask the doctor to screen you. If you are suffering from a mild form of depression: Then generally a simple pill, once a day for a year or two, is all you need to help you through these heavy times.
Don�t let the word depression scare you. Statically two out of three people suffer from some form of mild depression. Most go undiagnosed and function quite well without being diagnosed. The thing is if recognized and diagnosed you function better, have a better life and handle life�s pressure better than people who go undiagnosed.
Another side note: While teenager should not drink alcohol, if you are given medication for depression please don�t drink. Alcohol and anti-depression medication don�t do well together. The ant-depression medication intensifies its effects of the alcohol and the alcohol works against the medication.
Please; see your doctor, you will feel better and enjoy life more if you do.
17/F
Hi! I am going on a road trip cross country this summer with my mom. I'm very excited except for one problem I have been dealing with for about 7 years: I can't pee anywhere but my home bathrooms. The last roadtrip I took, I ended up in the hospital 3 nights in a row with 2 temporary catheters and 1 permanent one I had to have for a week (it was extremely painful, especially since I still had to drive 8 more hors home.) I was wondering if anybody had any advice on what I can do to pee in a public bathroom? Is there some medication I can take or some mental trick?? Thanks so much!!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
We all have little different phobias; some of these phobias get in the way of our enjoying different life’s different pleasures. You may have what some people refer to as a bashful bladder. I’m not sure if this is a true medical term or something us laypeople came up with to explain the malady you experience.
If it is a physical problem then your doctor should be able to prescribe a medicine that will help or there could be a surgical procedure to correct your problem. Most likely your problem is not physical but more of a deep seated problem and need for privacy when dealing with bodily functions. If this is the problem it is much easily fixed then if it is a medical problem.
What needs to be done is to sit down with a clinical psychologist and find out the cause of the problem and find a solution to it. No you are not crazy and you do not have a mental defect. You have a call it irrational fear, not unlike people who are claustrophobic, have a fear of flying or any other fears that inhibit the enjoyment of daily life. With the proper help to understand this fear(s) it can be overcome.
My advice is to first visit your family doctor for a complete physical to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with you. Make sure you tell your doctor of your problem so the doctor knows what to look for. If nothing physically wrong is found ask the doctor to refer you to a clinical psychologist.
Like any other problem you encounter during your day to day living this one can be overcome if you meet it head on. Working with an experienced counselor will help you identify why you have this fear and find away to meet it and overcome it. We have all seen stories on TV where someone snaps a rubber band on their wrist at times and when asked why they do it. They explain it helps them overcome some fear. It can really be that simple.
19/f.
I'm still a virgin but I'm planning to have sex soon. The thing is i've been on birth control probably for 2yrs now for my period and other things. I'm afraid that the guy will be like "ohhh we don't need a condom your on birth control!" but I definitely want to be as safe as I can and use both. I know the guy shouldn't care if I asked him, but I'm a bit worried. What if we're in the moment and I'm like wait do you have a condom? And he's like no, we don't need one. I'd feel like a total idiot but I'm not doing it without one!! I know guys hate wearing them but better then getting pregnant right? :)
So basically, how can I convince him (if he doesn't want to, i'm not sure yet..) to wear a condom even though I'm still on birth control?
thanks!!:)
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
A condom is more than just for birth control; condoms are the primary method for preventing the transfer of STD’s. While this may be a first time sexual experience for you, is it a first time sexual experience for him. If your partner is not a virgin and you are not using a condom then you are having sex not just with him but every partner he has had unprotected sex with as well.
Your partner should respect you enough to have a condom with him and to use it when the moment is right. You could also keep some condoms in your purse for just that time when the moment strikes. You should never feel like an idiot asking your partner to take the proper precautions so that you can both enjoy the moment.
Sex between two adults, at 19 you can call yourself and adult, is a beautiful thing. It should be enjoyed and for a women’s first time, cherished. You cannot enjoy sex or for that matter anything else if you are worried about the possible consequences. If you have not prepared yourself with condoms and your partner does not have any it is perfectly fine to call a stop. A reminder here; stop means stop, it does not mean to go slow, it does not mean for him to pressure you to continue, it means he stops. If he pressures you or forces you then it is no longer consensual, it is rape. A woman has the right to say no at any time, even after intercourse has started. Please remember that.
You are not the first women to write to this site prior to having sex for the first time. Because of this I have done some research and found the following website.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
This website is for women and deals with are you ready for sex and what you should know and do before having your first sexual intercourse. You might find it helpful to look at before you and your partner have that first sexual intercourse.
i'm 17/f and i think i'm developing a problem. i started drinking alcohol when i was about 14 or 15. sometimes it would just be a small sip of wine or beer, and then when i was 16, i started stealing money from my sisters to buy it from a friend who could legally buy it. now, i just mix vodka or wine with sunny D. its my parents liquor, and usually i only drink a decent amount until i can sleep well or feel good. sometimes i take some to school or to my friends house so we can all get drunk.
but last saturday night, i was drinking a small amount, and kept refilling my glass. and before i knew it, i couldnt remember my name or where i left my phone. i couldnt even walk. i'd been drunk like that before, but not for over a year. and then i woke up sunday hungover as hell. i promised myself i'd never drink again. but now, here i am, writing this, drinking wine. in my mind, its better than doing drugs because its legal and its not costing me anything, and i don't even think its fair that the drinking age is 21. do i have a problem, or am i just being a teenager? and if i do have a problem, how do i stop?
Teenage drinking is wrong and yes you do have a drinking problem. There are a lot of reasons why the law requires you to be 21 before you can legally purchase and consume alcoholic beverages. Most of which you are experiencing.
You are a teenage alcoholic; you have all the symptoms. So drunk you couldn’t remember who or where you were. This is commonly called being dead drunk and for good reason; one or two more drinks and you could die from Alcohol poisoning. The top reason teenagers by law are not suppose to drink; most lack the common sense to stop drinking before it kills them. I’m not being mean; I’m trying to be truthfully blunt. Males are especially susceptible to alcohol poisoning because they need to show off and test their manhood. Unfortunately girls are starting to be the same way.
You’re drinking to get to sleep, you’re dinking to feel good and you’re talking alcohol to school. These all point to a person who is a problem drinker. You will never be able to tolerate alcohol. You need to learn how to live without it and the best way to do that is to join AA. Alcohol Anonymous is just what the name implies. It is a group of recovering alcoholic meeting to support each other to stay away from Alcohol. It is anonymous in that you are known only by your first name and you pay only what you can afford. If you can’t afford to pay you attend meeting at no charge. Follow this link to find a meeting in your neighborhood; http://www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finder.cfm?origpage=29.
You will eventually need to tell your parents, but not yet. It will be better if you first attend AA meetings and learn and adopt the 12 step program. The 12 step program is the way to a life without alcohol. It’s a good life, I know because my brother in-law has been an AA member and recovering alcoholic for over 20 years. My wife and I have attended several parties that his AA group has held and had just as much if not more fun than at parties where alcohol was served. The greatest part was driving through a sobriety check point and looking at the officer and saying “we just left and AA party and being waved on without having to take any of the tests they were conducting.
Please find and AA meeting and start attending. You and alcohol don’t mix. You by your description here are an alcoholic.
Changing the way I look is something I have wanted to do for some time now. Problem is I want to be unique... and I am male. I asked my dad how he wore his facial hair when he was a kid and he said he got the most reaction when he wore a toothbrush mustache. Great, so what in the world does that mean?
Can anybody help? He just smiles and will not explain. If you know what it is, would I look cool?
As Annie said it is the mustache Hitler wore. If you’re still in school it could get you in trouble; so I advise you to try for something else. Maybe a Handlebar Mustache like they wore in the 1800's. It might be time they made a comeback.
My daughter got caught shoplifting recently and I need to know if there are shoplifting lawyers or is there some other defense?
I don't know why she did it. In fact, She has NO idea why she did it. So she says, anyway. I am both furious at her and scared that a trifling bit of stupidity will ruin her entire life. Can anyone suggest a course of action?
Thank you!
Call your local Bar Association; they can refer you to a Lawyer(s) who have experience in Juvenile Criminal Law.
If this is a first offense a guilty plea and Probation before Justice may be something the Prosecutor will go for. Restitution will have to be made as well.
Best thing is to find a lawyer who can help you a listen to what they advice.
I've known my "sometimes friend, Tiffany" since 7th grade. I'm now 24, our friendship has been on and off throughout the years. But we have never had a "falling out" and just stopped talking, changes of locations and lost of phone numbers, different directions in life, ect were generally the reasons for our lack of keeping in touch. But if we did happen to run into one another or what have you, it was like we never were apart.
In March or April of 2008, I had come across her myspace page and emailed her, we started talking and hanging out pretty regular.
She had a little boy and was coming out of a really bad abusive relationship with the father of her son, and having problems finically and finding a babysitter, ect. So I stepped in a helped her as much as I could; I would watch her son-pay free, gave her money if she really needed it-never expecting to be paid back, let her use my apartment if she needed a place to get away from it all.
Would pick up the tab if we went out or had dranks. . (I know how this sounds, but no, this was not a lesbian relationship of any kind! This is just my personality and I have been very fortunate to have had a wonderful career in the Marine Corp, so when I can help someone, I like to go above and beyond and I know I appreciate a friend like that. So I helped her when I could.)
Anyway, off the bat I noticed that she was a big time slut and it always bothered me that she "needed" a man to feel complete.
Also, she's one of those people who, when they get a little male attention her (friends) take a backseat.
EVERYTIME.
I use to feel like that so I understood and I thought I could help her get some that self esteem back.
However, recently, like the last year or so, its become a concern of mine for her son's welfare.
Not only dose she sleep around who whomever is around, she moves them in ASAP with her and her child.
Tiffany has had between 5-7 live in "boyfriends" aka scum bags who sponge off her for a little while then move on. And countless other males that will "stay" with her from time to time and who she lets watch her son.
She obviously dose not know these people.
I don't have any kids, but I would think that your child comes above everything else and their safety should be number one.
(If her son wasn't a factor, I would have said goodbye to her a long time ago. She lacks in values and morals and is not someone I want as a friend. Its always all about her and no one else matters.
I'm not attached to her son or anything, but its still not right.)
Just recently, she met a guy where ever and two days later he was living with her, needless to say that lasted maybe a month or two.
He (not surprising) was cheating on her, he "broke up" with her and now, she's found someone else to replace him. Its a pathetic, unsafe cycle that she dose not acknowledge or even think its a problem.
Which is beyond fusterating!!
Back to her little boy, I'm scared that something is going to happen to him.
My mother was also a young mom, who always had a new face around my brother and I. And unfortunately I was molested by a few of her "boyfriends". I grew up angry, confused, very untrustful of men and resentful of my mom, who still dose not know.
I do not want anything to happen to her son. All because of her selfish wants and low self esteem and worth.
If I bring it up, Tiffany and I always get into an arguement where she physically wants to hurt me.
Whether she and I have a friendship or not, is no longer my concern, I want to know if I should just mind my own business-bc she dosent get it or what can I do to keep him safe, if anything????
This is a dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t type of situation. I believe I know what you are thinking or feeling for too many times in recent months I’ve picked up the paper or listen to the evening news to find a child has been seriously injured or died at the hands of the mother’s live-in boyfriend.
What is important here is the welfare of the child, nothing else. You need to contact the local child welfare service. Give them all the information you have about the child’s family, father Aunts, and Grandparents. Tell them of your concerns and why you fear for the child’s safety.
Child welfare will first attempt to place the child, if they take him from the mother, with a family member before placing the boy in foster care. They will check out the father. He may have been abusive to your friend as she may have been a slut while with the child’s father. He may be a perfectly wonderful father, remember you only have her side of the story.
You may not like what I’m telling you needs to be done, but it is the only right thing you can do if you truly want to protect the child.
While I have your attention, I would like to thank you for your service as a Marine. I like the majority of Americans appreciate your service. Semper Fi Marine. (I hope I spelled that right)
i watch an 8 year old kid everyday after school for an hour, give or take 20 minutes. usually we (being my sister and i) start watching a movie to keep him occupied, but sometimes he wants to watch something on TV or have a snack. anyways, to the problem...
he's 8 years old. he's a boy. he's hyperactive and annoying, and knows that he is hyperactive and annoying. sometimes he's annoying on purpose. he'll bug my sister and me by throwing stuff at us, poking us, being gross, turning off the TV, and just, you know, plain out being a pain in the ass. i dont know what sick sense of humor this is, but it pisses me off and i yell at him, but it does no good. he thinks its funny. so, i try to ignore it, which makes him try harder. two weeks ago, i'd had enough to the point where i kicked him in the shin, really hard, and left a bruise. i told my dad, who told his parents, and when i apologized and explained that i'd just lost my head for a minute and it wouldnt happen again, they agreed to let me keep babysitting.
since then, the kid has learned not to be as obnoxious since he realizes i'm a hormonal depressed teenage girl. i don't want to hurt him again, i think of him as the little brother i never had because he can be a sweetie when he tries. its just that he also annoys me like a little brother would, which makes me act like an older sister would towards her little brother; hitting, screaming, kicking, etc. i know i'm not speaking for all older sisters here, i know that there are people out there with more patience than i have, surely. but i'm just not used to this kind of aggravation since i only had little sisters, never a brother.
some of you may be thinking all of this shouldn't annoy me so much, but it does. i have a very low tolerance for shit like this. so my question is, how can i keep my head on straight and not totally lose it again?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
All children, especially young children who have been cooped up in a class room all day you and your sister included, suffer from some form of hyperactivity; which is why you have a low tolerance for his pestering you. He needs to burn of some of the energy he has built up all day which is hard to do sitting in front of the television. You also need to teach him there is a right way and a wrong way to show you he is not happy with what you are doing together.
As a baby sister his parents trust you to care for him properly when they are not home. This includes teaching right from wrong as well as keeping him safe. Rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior is the best way to do this. Speak with his parents as to how they would like you to do this. They may have a special reward system that they use to encourage good behavior. You may have to do nothing more than to tell him you are going to report his bad behavior to his parents to keep him in line. Time outs for bad behavior are a popular form of correction for bad behavior and one his parents may use. Speaking with them will help you to decide when and how long a time out is to be utilized.
It is also important that after you have had your conversation with little Johnny’s parents that you, the parents and little Johnny sit down and have the parents explain to him just what your authority is when they are not home. What rewards he can expect for good behavior and what discipline he can expect if his behavior is not acceptable to you.
One other thing you need to discuss with his parents. Since you baby sit him for long periods of time you need to have a medical power of attorney that grants you specific limited medical powers should the child get sick or injured and you feel the need to call for medical assistance (911). The information in the Power of Attorney should also have the parents work and cell phone numbers as well as contact information for the grandparents. Long distance phone calls are not problems for hospitals; what’s important is that they be able to contact a parent or grandparent for permission to treat if needed beyond the limitations of the Power of Attorney. Copies of the Power of Attorney should be kept in an easily assessable place; on a bulletin board by the phone or in an envelope by the front door.
As their primary babysitter it is important for you to be a continuation of the family upbringing of the child your caring for. By going to the parents with what I have suggested you will not only solve the problem you presented but raise your image in the eyes of the boy’s parents. You should also learn a great deal about child rearing as well.
Good luck
One morning, I woke up to a yellowish- blue spot on my breast. I thought nothing of it because the night before I was with my boyfriend and we were fooling around and I just thought it was a weird colored hickey. I forgot about it until I woke up the next morning and it had gotten bigger and it was just yellow. I thought it was a bruise, but when I touch it, it doesn't hurt. I told one of my friends, and she said to tell my mom. Can you please help me, or tell what this mysterious "yellow spot" is?
Thanks in Advance
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
I agree with your friend, show your mom. The advisors on this website are not doctors and should not be giving out medical advice. Whatever symptoms one person exhibits may not mean the same thing in another person.
The skin discoloration on your breast may just be a bruise or a broken blood vessel just under the skin. It also could be the sign of something else, what I’m not qualified to determine, neither is your mother unless she is a doctor or a nurse. If you fear she will find out you’ve been playing, doctor, as we use to call it I wouldn’t worry too much. Mom wasn’t born yesterday and knows all about being a teenage girl.
My advice; show mom the discoloration and let her decide if you need to see the family doctor. The doctor too knows all about being a teenage girl; be the doctor male or female. The doctor was once a teenager and they learned more about the effects of hickeys and burses in medical school. So there is no need for you to be embarrassed or fearful.
Fourteen years ago, I was baptized Catholic. I attended a Catholic school from kindergarten to second grade. Aside from that I never went regularly to church, still don't. In the beginning of third grade I moved and attended public school. However, about a year ago I started doubting my religion. I did my share of research and found it that ,maybe, Catholicism wasn't the religion for me. So I declared myself agnostic, I still do. I still am very unsure of what to believe. Anyways, when I tried to 'clue' it to my mom she exploded and TOLD me I was Catholic and that God WAS real. Pretty much forcing this upon me. I believe that religion is a personal thing and that a person should not force it onto you (like baptism). I respect my mother and the Catholic church and their beliefs. I just so happen not to believe the same as them. So what I wanted advice on is my mother. Should I just not even try to get her to understand me? We usually get along fine, it's just the topic of religion that we have our different views on.
I would appreciate it if your respected my views as I do yours, so please don't bash me.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
The three worst topics of conversation to have with someone are Religion, Politics and Sex. Sex is a conversation that all children should have with their parents and later in life with their significant other. All three topics are highly sensitive and come with strong opinions. Most of these opinions are based in fear from generations of fear passed on from one to the next. If you are a Democrat Republicans have horns and tails; there is only one God and he is Roman Catholic or Jewish or he is a she. All this is breed into you during your upbringing.
There is nothing wrong in questioning ones beliefs, this is how we learn. I believe there is a difference between organized religion and faith. This belief puts me squarely in the agnostic point of view. I believe organized religion is nothing more than big business underscored by religious beliefs. Meaning; you get the religion you can pay for. Being agnostic means I belief there is a force bigger than us guiding us and for the lack of another term I will accept the term God as that force.
Since you did not state your age I am going to assume you are less than 18 years of age and living at home. Even so you can still have your beliefs; you must also follow your parents’ teachings. This is not only a religious law it is the respect you owe your parents. You have every right to disagree on this subject but not to the point that it causes dissention between you and your mother. Part of growing up is learning and forming your own ideals. As a parent it is our job to guide you in finding the correct path(s). The correct path is the one that keeps you safe and within the laws of the land.
You are not going to change your moms’ beliefs and you shouldn’t try. What you should do is explain, CALMLY, to your mother that you respect her beliefs but for reasons of your own you disagree. You can go on to explain why you disagree or simply state that she has raised you well and part of that has been to question and explore what you don’t understand. Right now you are exploring the why and you would like to be able to seek the answers for yourself without causing a rift between you. Tell her you love her and respect her and hope she would trust herself enough that she has raised you right to allow you to seek your own truth on this. You may not want to say it exactly as I have written it but put it into your own words.
As I said: to question is to learn and to learn is everything.
18/male
i guess i woould start by saying lately i feel like shit. my head just doesn't feel right and by not right i mean i feel like i just did drugs.(i don't do drugs unless perscribed by a doctor) I can't coordinate myself quite right. Just typing this is hard. and either i sleep to much or i can't sleep at all. I used to love playing video games and hanging with my friends, but i just don't feel like doing it anymore. last time i was at the doctors they said i was healthy. I don't know does anybody know about why i may be feeling this way?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
Have yourself screened for depression. Why? At 18 you could be finishing High School, that’s the end of one phase of life. The next phase of Life be it College, finding a job or contemplating entering the Military is very unsettling.
Frankly this next phase is loaded with a lot of uncertainties. No matter what your choice for this next phase of life is you could be feeling a little overwhelmed and this causes a mild forms of depression.
My advice is as I said above: Have yourself tested for depression. If you are suffering from a mild form of depression it is generally easily corrected with medication. You can contact your local County or State Mental Health Agency for help in finding a clinic for testing.
Ok well im 16/f and i cut my self . On my wrist and dont tell me to use a rubber band cause it dosent work ive tryed or write in a jurnal cause ive done that to.. IT DOSENT WORK. my friend always asks why i have cuts on my wrists and i say oh my cat cut it. and if he finds out he will think im doing it for attention but im really not my mom passed away 3 weeks ago. and my dad abuses me. I have no relatives. so i have no one to talk to . so i turned to cuting . It really helps me but i need to stop . Because of what i tryed to do. Commit suicide but i stoped because my one and only friend caught me and grabbed me and took me home. I have had a really screwed up past . i was raped at the age of 13 and took drugs at 14 so now all of that made me really depressed . I really am loseing faith so someone please tell me what i could do to help i dont have enough money to go to a theropist so dont tell me that. im really scared of my dad so please help..
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
My condolences on the passing of your mother; I am very sorry that someone of your young age has had to suffer what you have suffered. There are programs and people who can and will help you without cost to you. If you are in immediate danger you can call 911, explain to the call taker that you are at risk as an abused child. They will stay on the phone with you while the proper help is dispatched. This will most likely be the police and fire rescue service. Remember you have done nothing wrong and these people are coming to help you. If you fear calling from home, then go to your schools guidance counselor, teacher or principal; they will know what to do. You can also walk in to any fire station and ask for help.
You can also go to any hospital emergency room, again bring the letter with you that you have written us. Do not worry about the cost; there are programs to cover the cost. Once the doctor’s reads what you have written they will know what they need to do for you to help you feel better.
There are also two National Hotlines that you could call for help. The first is RAINN which stands for Rape, Abuse Incest, National Network. This is a 24/7 phone line with trained counselors who can help you find people in your town who can get you to safety and help you recover. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. The other is Boys and Girls Town. Again this is a 24/7 phone line with trained counselors who can help you. Their number is: 1-800-448-3000.
Lastly if at any time you feel like cutting yourself, don’t. Instead pick up the phone and call 911. Tell the call taker what you are thinking of doing to yourself, they will send the appropriate emergency service to help you. Do not be afraid, they are there to help you.
There is help out there for you; you do not have to hurt yourself to feel something. Please call the hotlines for advice. See your doctor or go to the emergency room for help.
okay , im 13 and i am a size 8 english sizes and 5 foot 6 .i weigh 49 - 53 kg depends on the time of day, i just started my period , and i feel fat aroung guys, i do 2 classes of ballet and 2 classes of moder dance each week and football, but im not losing any waite wat so ever , i also do home excerzize 2, i eat little n regular and NOTHING IS WORKING help! , i also tried puking myself but tht dosent work either! i need help
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
You are thirteen years old; give your body a chance to mature. You are just starting into puberty, hormones are racing through your body giving off signals to lose the baby fat, soften the curves and ultimately give you a womanly figure.
First and foremost stop puking. This is a dangerous habit to get into, as in life threatening as it causes an imbalance in your bodies electrolytes. The medical term for this is called Bulimia or being Bulimic. You will suffer long term health problems in the future from this illness and can lead to death. If this is something you cannot stop on your own then speak to your parents and have them take you to your family doctor for help. I’m very serious about this so please stop or ask for help.
Exercise and diet are the best way to control your weight. Here again your family doctor is the best person to consult as to what your ideal weight should be for you age, height and bone structure. Your doctor can recommend how many calories you need per day to maintain a healthy body based on your lifestyle. You must eat regularly each day in order to maintain a healthy body. This may mean 3 balanced meals a day or 1 good breakfast and 5 balance nutritional snacks a day based on your activities for the day. You do Ballet, Modern Dance,exerciseve and play Football; I would say you are getting plenty of exercise. Depending on your muscle mass your weight may be just right for you. Remember muscle weighs more than fat. Here again your family doctor is your best source of information on what is best for you.
My advice to you is; get the facts first. This means see your family doctor. Do not let peer pressure force you into doing something that is harmful to you because you are not twig thin as other may be. Your lifestyle depicts how your body will mature. You have a very active lifestyle, you need to support that lifestyle with a healthy diet.
Speak to your parents and ask them to make an appointment with the family doctor. Make them understand how important this is to you as they may feel you are healthy and not in need of a doctor’s visit. You could also seek the advice of a nutritionist as to what type of a diet you need to maintain the lifestyle you have.
does anyone know if Medibank in Brisbane covers for STD blood tests etc.? And does it show in my records? Because, i am 18 but i dont want my parents knowing about my STD tests.
Thank you.
18/f
Call us on 1300 302 213 I found this number for benefit checking when I looked for information on mdibank on the web. the web adress I found follows: http://www.medibank.com.au/.
I hope this helps
16/f.
I've always liked guys, since I was a little kid. But ever since I was quite young I've also liked the idea of sex with girls. I never really thought about it though, it was one of those things I accepted. It didn't seem weird or anything.
You might just say I'm bisexual, but I don't think I am. I mean, I've never actually had romantic feelings towards a girl, whereas I have with guys - fallen in love and everything. Y'know, I've gone crazy over guys. But I fantasize sexually probably equally over guys and girls. The idea of sex with both genders really turns me on. Although I've never been with a girl & felt like just jumping on them like I have with guys.
I know it probably doesn't need a label, & I never worried about it before. But when sexuality comes up in conversation and people ask questions, I just don't know what to say. It's kind of annoying not having a specific sexuality.
What would you say this means? Would I be classed as bisexual?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
At your present age I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At this age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as a Lesbian or even bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.
There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at this age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females.
I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.
My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are more adult if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.
I have so many problems at home so much drama at school and i dont know how to cope with them anymore to the point i shut down completly i cant feel i cant think i cant even breathe right all i feel is heart ache whats wrong with me?
The advice NinjaNeer gave you is very good. I might add to it a check up by your familly doctor. Ask mom or dad to let u=you speak with the doctor alone. Then tell the doctor how you are feeling. The doctor may be able to prescribe some mediction to help kick start some of the relaxation techniques NinjaNeer wrote about. Your doctor might also suggest a therapist who you can talk with who can help you work through some of the problems you are feeling down about.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I can tell you that these are the best years of your life. They shouldn't be wasted by feeling overwelmed by life. Not when there are so many coping skills that can be learned byu just asking the right people for help.
Start with your familly doctor and follow the advise you receive from the doctor and go from there.
I'm suppost to write a report about english (UK) traditions and stuff. thing is i have no idea what to write. can anyone give me some tips or facts about england i can write into an essay? it's not suppost to be really long or anything.
I'm not asking you to do my homework or anything but i have a few exams coming up & dont really have time to do a lot of good research at the moment
thankieees (:
Try this website: http://gouk.about.com/od/festivalsandevents/tp/Weird_and_wacky_festivals.htm
It is wack & Wierd festivals that are traditional. It might help you.
why do you always post that before your questions that you are a older man giving advice? it's really annoying! not only does it sound conceited but seriously. CAN YOU STOP although you may be older and your advice may be somewhat different from others there is no need to keep posting that crap on someone's questions.
Your older than most of us we get it you don't need to keep posting that okay seriously cut it out
I have been asked this question before. The reason I do this is that this is a peer to peer website. The people asking the question are expecting someone close to their age to answer them. As I am old enough to be most of the writer’s grandparent I think it only proper that they know I am not one of their peers.
This disclaimer allows me to answer many different questions using knowledge learned over my many years. The disclaimer also allows the writer to decide whether or not they want to accept my advice for how it is given or if I am just another adult who doesn't know what they are talking about.
In many of my answers I ask the writer to talk with their parents, their mother, or trusted adult in resolving their question or problem. I believe my disclaimer at the beginning of my answer again lets them know that I am an adult and if I do suggest they seek parental guidance I have prepared them for this suggestion by including this disclaimer.
I hope this answers your question. As I have stated this question has been asked before and generally after I have explained myself the righter understands and agrees.
Last summer at the end of June I was walking home when a strange black car going down a busy street honked at me, turned around, and drove beside me halfway down my own street. When I stopped to get a better look the window road down and a man popped his head out to tell me to get into the car. I think I was in such a state of shock that I became numb, I usually break down in minor situations, and I just said no and continued walking. I finally started running and looked back to find him gone. I called the police later thatday, after calling my mother because I was still in a shock, and didn't hear back for a week. Turns out the same man tried to grab a 6 year old up the street. I was fine back then, able to laugh it off as the police drove me around the streets since the man lives so close to me, but now I'm having nightmares about what could have happened. What should I do? Whats going on with me now? Was I that bad in shock that its just finally wearing off?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others
It is very possible that you are suffering from some form of PTSD. What happened to you can be extremely upsetting. You did the right thing by walking away and then running home and calling your mom and then the police. The police will eventually catch this person; they almost always do the exception being that the person moves on to another city. By running away you scared this person more than he scared you for he knew you would be calling the police; something he wanted no part of so he left the area. You did the right thing and should be proud of yourself.
As for the PTSD: It is understandable that after the event is over and the adrenaline has worn off you would experience some form of delayed shock or distress. When it goes on for any length of time then you need to talk with your doctor. Have mom make an appointment for you to meet with your family doctor as soon as possible. There are medications the doctor can prescribe or the doctor can suggest you talk with a therapist who will help you understand what has happened and help you work through it.
There is one other thing you can do while waiting to see the doctor. There is an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape Assault & Incest National Network. RAINN operate 24/7 crisis telephone hotlines that serve victims of sexual violence. Volunteers and staff at these organizations are trained on issues surrounding sexual violence and can provide support and information about individual or group counseling, medical attention, reporting a crime to law enforcement as well as many other services. Frequently, affiliate centers have a wide range of services, or can refer to other local services for the following Individual counseling and other services.
While you have not been physically assaulted by this person you have suffered harm because of your encounter with him. The people at RAINN can help you find professionals in your community who can help you work through this experience.
Good luck, and always remember you did nothing wrong, in fact you did everything right.
To find a local RAINN affiliate call 1.800.656.HOPE
Web Address: www.rainn.org/.
Within the past year, my life hasn't been the greatest. A lot of things have changed dramatically after I moved to another state, and I'm just not the same person. I used to be very social and happy with myself and how life was going. Now it is the complete opposite. I find myself getting very aggrivated with family, we have money problems, im anti-social, upset, crying for no reason, and starting to develop an eating disorder. I want to be the person I was before I moved. I don't want to get angry or fight with my parents every single time they talk to me. I want to be cheerful, have a positive outlook in life, stop letting my parents make me mad, and let the little things not get to me so much. Any advice?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I read what you wrote and If I were to say that “you are feeling like a fish out of water”, would the adequately describe how you’re feeling. If it does don’t be so hard on yourself it is going to take time to adjust to your new surroundings and build a life for yourself. You spent your e whole life or a good part of it in your last home town building friendships and building a network of different friends. You had a lifetime to build a life for yourself. Now you are the new person in town, you sound funny to them coming from another state; you might even dress differently than they do. It doesn’t mean you’re not a nice person, it just means they have their friends and for whatever reason they are not open to adding anyone to their circle of friends. It’s not you, it’s them; that’s just the way young adults, teenagers are. I know it does not make it right or even make you feel any better, but knowing this may help you understand and help you better cope with all this.
Now how do you cope with this? How do you let people know that you really are a great person to be around? There are a number of different ways to go about this.
Sports - Do you play a sport? If so try out for one of the teams. If you’re still in school try out for one of the school teams. Try out for one of the teams through your local parks and recreation department.
Baby Sitting – Do you like to baby sit. Put an as in the local Penny Saver paper. When you get to know the adults in town you’ll start meeting the kids or people your own age.
Religious Service – Do you like attending Religious Services? If so join the youth groups. If you sing and there is a choir, try to join the choir.
These are just three things you can do to make friends. The point I am trying to make is that you are use to your friends coming to you. For now you are going to have to make an effort to make friends and go to them. Once people get to know you and find out just how great you are your life will get back to being the way it was before you moved. But first you have to make the effort to make new friends.
You mentioned an eating disorder that has started. This disturbs me. While I feel this will clear up as your life returns to normal I think it best that you speak to your parents about this. Eating disorders can get out of hand in hurry and can become life threatening. You need to see a doctor and speak to a specialist to help you through this. Don’t worry about the cost or if your parents have insurance; there are programs in place to take care of this especially for children that are still in school.