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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Erectile Disfuction
There are a lot of reasons for erectile dysfunction. Starting with overwork, stress, high blood pressure and other physiological problems. Certain medications will also cause erectile problems. It is impossible to give advice on this problem without knowing more about you and the actual problem.
Some things that need to be known are:
1. Are you capable of getting an erection at all?
2. If the answer to #1 is yes how strong an erection is it?
3. How long can you maintain an erection.?
4. Can you have intercourse with your erection?
5. Are you able to climax during intercourse?
6. Masturbation, can you get and maintain an erection during masturbation?
7. Do you climax during masturbation?
These are just some of the question you will need to answer before a Doctor can make any type of diagnoses. I am not a doctor, none of us are and we should not attempt to diagnose this problem.
There are doctors who specialize in erectile dysfunction. Before seeing one of these doctors I suggest seeing your family doctor for a complete physical and explain to the doctor you are having ED problems.
If your doctor finds no organic reason or the problem he or she will most likely prescribe something like Viagra. Viagra may help but it won't fix the problem. TO fix the problem you need to see a specialist and Erectile Dysfunction specialist who is usually also a urologist.
This is nothing to be embarrassed about and something your doctor male or female has seen more often than you might believe. I read somewhere that over 70% of men at sometime in their lives will suffer from some type of ED. Most of the problems are correctable.
im 22yrs will turn 23 next june. i am an average guy to the core.. like really average that goes or my looks to spirit. still living with my parents because no balls to move out. i attempted college but couldn't even finish the first year. i want to do IT or Cyber security i do find that interesting. but im not that smart or rather i know im very lazy just not willing to care enough to try my best. though i took 4 attempts at college and the last term i attend i couldn't handle it so i just stopped showing up. so i failed and my gpa went from 3.0 to 1.4. i dont think i can get financial aid anymore because of it... my parents cant help but want to help as much they can. i cant do that to them my father works 75-80hrs a week and my mother works 40 i have two little sister age 16 and 10... with that said yeah we are not poor but live a hard life. my parents never take time for themselves and i feel like worthless son... i love them so much. i attempted to work and help and college ... but all that i failed at....i really gave an effort but i work or go to college for few months then i feel so much pressure .. fear... anxiety that i cant take it and i quit. i have friends who are doing good now and try to help but i dont want that...i wanna be independent but i dont know how i can be. most of the time i rather be left alone i dont always like to hang with my friends i rather be on my room.. yeah iknow in my comfort zone...pathetic.
things i want ...
i wanna get my BS but dont know how i can pay for it. cant do much with a $9hr wage. only jobs i can get are with that pay rate.
i wanna move out. so my parents have one less kid to worry about and feed even tho its 22yrs old.
have my BS use it to get decent job.. i dont need a a lot of money i just want a comfortable life where i can help myself and my parents.
with alll this in my head i still dont know where to start what to do .. how to do it .. how to pay for college..can i get over my laziness or my anxiety and get my head out of my a@@ and get to work?
hate on this... tell me i am a loser or give me advise anything is appreciated.
I think the first thing you need to do is get help with raising yourself esteem. Frankly I see a lot of me in you. When I was your age I had the same problems . Four years in the Air Force made a big difference in my life especially when I exceeded my own expectations and was promoted to the rank of SSGT in just over 3 years. My shop chief almost died when I walked in with 4 stripes on my sleeve as no one he knew ever got promoted to SSGT in under 4 years. In the morning the Colonel came into the control room and explained I was promoted on merit at his request.
Now I'm not recommending you sign up for the military there is an easier and better way to go about raising one's self-esteem. Living with your parent's allows for you to use one of theirs EAP programs to meet with a psychologist who will help you raise your self-esteem. Most programs allow for a certain amount of visits them their health insurance kicks in.
No one plans on being a losers it is something that happens to them. Generally speaking it happens over time from being bullied or being told over a period of time that you will never amount to anything. One of my sons teachers once told us we should teach him to flip burgers for that was all he was qualified for. Today he is a firefighter/paramedic and was she surprised when he showed up at her school for a medical emergency. Of course she know takes all the credit for how he turned out. Like me the military gave him the self-esteem he was missing.
A qualified psychologist can help you gain the self-esteem you are missing. Once you feel better about yourself you will have the confidence to return to school.
Anyone capable of a 3.0 is not dumb so learning is not the problem. Laziness and anxiety can be helped as I have suggested. Of course if your so inclined there is nothing wrong with the military either on active duty in the Guard or reserves.
Once you get the self-esteem under control you should also look at the technical trade schools for the area you are interested in. There are many fine schools that can train you for those areas and get you working faster than if you went to college.
I have decided to let her go the baby is a girl what kind of gift should we buy?
Not knowing what type of support her parents are providing I'm not sure how to answer this question. If there is time I would suggest your daughter get with the other friends and see what this girl need and may be pool their money for some of the bigger things she might need such as a crib or stroller.
If that isn't possible then infants, if I remember correctly, go through clothing and diapers like a house on fire. so appropriate clothing and diapers are always proper gifts. You might ask if she has a baby registry some place and check to see what is on the registry you can afford to purchase.
I'm glad to see you are letting your daughter go to the shower. I would be happier to hear you and your daughter had a good adult conversation about sex and boys and how she felt about it.
Hello, I'm 22 and female and I've been with my 23 year old boyfriend for about a year and a half. This is going to be long, about my boyfriend and family but if you can stick around until the end to help me out, I'd really appreciate it.
Like I said, my boyfriend and I are almost together for a year and a half. Things are really good between us but up until recently, my mom has not been for us. It took about six to eight months before he started spending the night at my house (we both still live with our parents). But after my parents gave the okay, he started staying over. We would alternate between my house and his but it would mostly be my house because he just doesn't like being home and he is a manager at a walmart so sometimes his hours would go until ten or eleven at night, whereas mine are a normal eight to five, so it just made more sense for him to go right to my house after he was done.
A few months ago, he and I started talking about how he thinks we're approaching the time that we should be looking for an apartment, it was time to begin the next step of seeing if we would still be compatible on our own and that kind of thing. I agreed, though there was no rush so we took things slow like working out our budget and thinking out what kind of place we wanted like a one bedroom or two, an apartment in a complex or a house that someone owns and is renting out, etc etc. I told my mom that he had brought that up and she had asked if her and my dad re-did the basement, if my boyfriend and I would want to stay down there and pay rent (she had said that she would save the rent we pay her and then give that back to us as a lump sum for a downpayment on a house when we are ready.) I thought it was a good idea but the more time that went on and the more I thought about it, I just didn't like the idea - it wouldn't teach me anything about going grocery shopping or paying my own bills or even little things like how to keep my place clean and if I can keep my own plants and flowers alive. Not to mention, she did not even mention to my dad about how she brought that idea up to me.
Time wise, my mom had just been getting to be a terror around the house, honestly. A couple of days ago, she and I got into the worst fight we had ever had. I will try to keep it exactly how it was and not leave anything out but by the end of it, my blood was boiling and I couldn't even think straight. It all started about a week ago when I had my lunch packed for work the next day, I had two yogurts on top of each other in the fridge and she came stomping up the stairs asking why I eat two yogurts a day now, I told her I like having one in the morning for breakfast and then I keep the second for lunch or for right before I finish work. She started yelling that I need to start chipping in and buying my own groceries. Now, normally if I were an only child and she threw that one me, I would be fine with it, I am 22 still living at home and not even paying any of my own bills so I can swing my own groceries. But I am not an only child and my brother never had to pay for his own groceries so in my eyes, justifiably, I got angry. The next morning, I didn't pack my lunch just to prove to my mom that I didn't need her food. She called me before work and I didn't answer because I was driving and she left me the nastiest voicemail that if I didn't call her back before I clocked in, that she would make me pay for my own phone bill then too (again, something my brother never did and still does not do even though he is out of the house). So I called her back, she yelled that I didn't take food when I had pointed out to her that the night before, she yelled at me for eating the food. She said that we will continue this when I got home so obviously i had dread going home all during my work shift.
The time came that I went home and my mom and dad were waiting for me in the kitchen. I feel like through the whole argument, my dad was on my side but my mom was just livid the entire time. It started with her being angry that I don't do anything around the house. The fact of the matter is, we have cleaning ladies that come and they do most of the chores that I should have. However, when they aren't here, I clean up from dinner every night even if I don't eat it, I empty the trash when it gets full, I do my own laundry and I empty the dishwasher. So I'm still baffled by how she felt correct in saying that I do not do anything. It finally came down to her being angry at my boyfriend. I felt like her argument was that with the amount of time he spends at the house, she wants him to pay her rent or money for food. My dad kept saying that it wasn't about the money for him, he gave an example that it would be nice every once in a while if they came home from work and saw that my boyfriend and I made dinner for them. Whereas, every time my mom would yell, she would yell that she doesn't understand how he is still paying rent to his mom even though he's here so I presume she was hinting that he should stop paying his mom and pay her instead. I asked her numerous times before this fight even happened if she would like for him to pay for groceries and she says no every time. She even got mad that she had to take the recycling out when it was pretty full from just beer or wine bottles from my brother, my brother's best friend and my boyfriend's. Though that is the only thing I could find justifiable for him to do, he should not have to take my family's garbage out or walk my family's dog. When she got mad that she had to take them out, I simply told her she could have asked my boyfriend to take them and she yelled back that she shouldn't have had to ask, he should have known to just do it, which was ridiculous. She said had even argued that she gets mad that he eats food at my house as well, she does the grocery shopping and pays for the groceries and makes dinner for him as well and she gets mad that he eats the dinner that she made for him. So I told her that he can just as easily eat at home or at work before he comes over and she said that she would feel bad not making him dinner when not a single person had asked her to make him anything, but she still got angry over him eating it. It's just, thinking back on it, I feel like the entire argument was filled with such insanity. Every time she yelled about something, she could not back it up with something else - she had asked why we do not spend more nights at his house so I told her we can and then she got angry that I said that "oh so you would much rather be miserable staying there (because he doesn't get along with his mom too well) then stay here" so I asked her why she would ask us to go there more and then get angry when I tell her that we will. Towards the end of the argument, I asked her how things are so different now when the exact same thing happened about a year ago - my brother's girlfriend stayed over a lot and my mom always made dinner for my brother, his girlfriend and me. She told me it's different now because it took my brother's girlfriend a long time to start spending the night. I had asked my mom if his girlfriend had ever paid rent, paid for groceries, or anything of the sort and her only response was "your boyfriend eats way more than your brother's girlfriend ever ate."
So long story short, my boyfriend and I have been spending more time at his house because I don't want to be around my mom and when my boyfriend comes over, he brings his own food and doesn't eat or drink anything at my house. I don't want him to feel like he has to do that but I do not blame him for one second thinking that he does. Yesterday and today, my boyfriend has a 12-10 shift. I was home alone a lot of yesterday because my parents were at an all you can eat and drink event to help support local farms. He came over after work, we had started getting intimate and my parents got home so he had stopped but he was shirtless and only had his boxers on and my mom drunkenly barged into my room and would not leave. She was in such a good mood because she had a lot to drink so she was getting giggly and weird and started to tickle him. That sounds weird but it was innocent, she was just trying to be funny but he was trying to cover himself with a blanket so she didn't see that he was in his boxers but she was relentless. Finally she went over to her room and nothing too crazy happened regarding her seeing him half naked. But he got angry that we don't have any privacy so that was the straw that broke the camel's back and we've been getting more serious about finding an apartment now.
This is something that I want to do with him, decorating my own place, making my own rules, having our own privacy. Though it's always been in the back of my mind that eventually, my boyfriend will have to rotate into over night shifts at work for a period of six months and my mom has been using that as leverage for me to not move in with him yet. Thus far he and I have looked at two places and we have more appointments coming up this week and I have not told my mom or dad about us doing that yet at all and I'm honestly afraid to. My mom even had the audacity to say "well, what's going to happen when he moves to over nights and you're all alone and you get stressed that you never see him so things start to fall apart between you two? Where are you going to go?" I had asked her if she would not let me go back home for some nights or she would not come over to keep me company to get time away from my dad because that was her whole thing before that she would always keep me company when he wasn't there due to work and now she is totally against it saying that if I leave, I'm accepting that I will be alone for six months worth of nights. Come November, my dad is making me pay for my car insurance anyway so that isn't anything I'm worried about with moving out because he did make a deal with me that if and when I do move out, he would keep me on the health insurance but if I'm out of the house, I will pay my share to him. However, my mom said that if I move out, she's kicking me off of the plan and I'm on my own for everything.
All in all, I'm just stressed. I want to move out with my boyfriend. This fight with my mom has honestly made me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in my own house. I just do not know what to do. My boyfriend going on overnights will be something that will always be in the back of my mind. Then with my mom throwing all of my bills at me at once, something she did not do to my brother, is making this whole thing so much worse. So, I just need advice that maybe I'm missing something with my mom - she could be starting pre menopause. Or maybe she is actually being crazy like I think she is. I need advice on how to deal with my boyfriend going on overnights and if I should move out with him. I just need advice, it feels like a lot of things are falling apart and I can't make a decision on how to fix any of it.
I'm sorry this is so long but I thank you so much if you made it all the way through and for any advice you may have for me!!
My first concern is about your mom. Is her behavior towards you new or just different then before your boyfriend moved in. What I'm asking is has she always had a level of hostility towards you.
One reason for her change in attitude towards you could be medical and you should talk with your dad about getting her to her doctor for a complete physical. Not to scare you but brain tumors can cause a radical change in behavior and need not be cancerous to do so.
The other reason for the way she is could be is the fact that your boyfriend is sleeping in your room and you are having an adult relationship with him under her roof and not married. Yes she did give her permission and now may be conflicted about it. I can't say as I don't know you mom. Though from what you write I can see she is conflicted about you staying in her home or moving out with him.
You are 22 you are no longer a child you are definitely and adult entitled to all adult activities and responsibilities which include a sex life.
If you and your boyfriend can afford to move out and live on your own then that is the best course of action to take. You are doing the right thing by putting together a budget to make sure the apartment you get is affordable for the last thing you want to do is argue over bills. Make sure you budget for everything you need including health insurance. If your employer offers health insurance then get on your employer's health plan. Open enrolment for next year will start soon.
Your best plan of action is to separate from you parents as much as possible monetarily as well as physically and start to have an adult relationship. Living in their home gives you mom the feeling you are still a child with childlike responsibilities to her.
YEs some of things she said you and your boyfriend should have or could have been done should have been done by both of you. Then again from what you write she treated him more as a guest then a resident or member of the family.
If you decide to spend more time at your house be sure to give her money for groceries and something towards rent. Be sure to take out the recyclables as well as the trash. Make sure the money you give her for groceries is close to the amount of food you eat. IF she gives the money back set it aside and buy her something nice with the money wham you find an apartment.
My daughter is 15 and she has a friend that is 16 and pregnant and is having a baby shower. I am not sure if I should let her go what do you all think
Your daughter is not the one that is pregnant and you should not punish her by denying her the friendship of her friend who has made a choice to have unprotected sex or to have sex at all. In the same vein it is not your place to punish the pregnant girl by denying her the support and friendship of a close friend. I'm sure at this time she needs all the support and friendship she can muster.
What you need to do is to use this situation as a teaching moment and have an adult conversation with your daughter. Like it or not and I'm positive you do not like it, your daughter is capable of having adult sexual relationships. As a parent myself I know I can talk to my children about the problems of teenage sex until I'm blue in the face. Short of locking them in their rooms until they turned 21 once out of sight I had no control over what they did.
Sex is an adult subject and needs to be discussed with someone your daughters age in an adult manner. Nothing has changed since you were a teenager. If anything the pressure a teenage girl is under today is worse than when we were teenagers. My advice is you acknowledge this and remind her that you are always there for her and she can come to you with any question or concerns including how to handle certain situations with boys. Emphasize the any of the concerns.
My niece lost her virginity at 16, pressured not only by her boyfriend at the time but her girlfriends as well. Had she come to me before she had sex and told me of the pressure she was under I would have told her what I tell the girls that write to us.
I tell them that high school romances are just that. They rarely if ever last beyond high school as everyone goes their separate way after graduation. That to have sex with someone to prove your love for him is not a reason to have sex and that any boy that says this is not in love with you, he lusts for you. Boys her age have a different definition of love then girls her age do and it more closely has the meaning of lust. This is something she needs to know and feel free to use what I have just written when talking to her.
Last, after you have discussed everything including safe sex for the purpose of disease as well as pregnancy protection. If you still have concerns she may give in to the pressures of her boyfriend and others. Then there is no shame in putting her on birth control. At least you can monitor that she takes it daily and have the peace of mind that you will not be facing what there girlfriend family is presently dealing with. Just reminder this is not permission to have sex just a safety net if her will power is broken.
Just so you know: By law you now longer have any medical control over your daughter's reproductive system. The law is called HIPPA and anyone over the age of 14 has total medical confidentiality over their reproductive system. Your doctors will no longer talk to you about any condition concerning her reproductive system without her expressed permission in writing and she cannot give under duress or the doctor will not honor it. You may not be in the room during an examination of her reproductive system. If she were to become pregnant it would be strictly her choice as to what to do about it.
I dated a guy for a year and 5months.Few months down the line,we had to go to our separate universities far awayand we lost contact.After a year,we started talking again.We fell for each other again.Anytime we are together,we kiss(thats the only thing we do besides talking and playing).I told him abt my fling with another guy in sch.He was angry and jealous.He told me he wants to be my first everything(He doesn't touch me).He keeps telling me that will continue choosing me over other people.I know he has flings with other girls,bt he doesnt want me to have with other guys.How sure can it be that he loves me??. And do you think we can have a future together?
No one can predict the future. Long distance romances rarely if ever workout especially without some sort of communication while apart. Which brings about the question of; do you communicate while apart?
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. This may be true but it also makes for loneliness which generally makes people seek out others for comfort and companionship.
There is not much information here to say if he loves you or not. He is being very selfish by saying you can't be with other guys for I believe he is probably seeing other women .
This is the 21st century and you have as much rights as he does. He has not made any pledge to you and until he does you have every right to date, have a sex life if you chose and fall in love with someone else.
My advice for what it is worth is that you enjoy your college years. Go ahead and date and have fun college is not all work and no play. If the opportunity presents itself and you feel its right to do so go ahead and let it happen. Do not save yourself for him for I seriously doubt he will be there come graduation.
See, I'm really desperate to find the perfect career for me. I LOVE helping people, but I don't want to do college courses for over four years. A year or two years is fine, but I can't do over four years. And I can't go on campus, because my social anxiety is inane. So I need a career I can do online courses for.
I also love animals, spirituality, cooking, nature, etcetera. And I love making people feel good about themselves. I love listening to people. Like I could listen to someone talk for hours and wouldn't get tired.
So if you could give me a list of what you think is a good match for me, I'd REALLY appreciate it.
Thank you for your time!!!
You sound like the type of person who would excel in any career you chose. Why given in to an anxiety and allow it to hold you back from your full potential. Now your going to tell me you did the medications and maybe you worked with a psychologist and it didn't work.
If you were treated by your family doctor with medication for social anxiety you were treated by the wrong doctor. Social anxiety is partly attributed to hormones or lack thereof secreted into the brain and is a form of panic attack. You need to work with a Board Certified Psychiatrist who is also an MD though has had a Fellowship in psychiatry and passed all the criteria to be Certified by the College of Psychiatrists. This is the best doctor to medicate for this problem. At the same time you need to work with a psychologist to find what the trigger(s) your anxiety.
You may have seen a psychologist and nothing happened, that happens. I went through three before I found one I was comfortable with then everything started to change. Your psychologist has to be someone your willing to tell your darkest secrets to trusting that what ever is said in therapy stays in therapy. No one can be told of what happens in therapy without you written permission even if you are a minor.
Now as to your question. First thing to do is to check with your local state college and see what courses they offer on line for undergraduates. Also check into colleges for home school.
Cooking classes is a hands on class that requires you to go to Culinary school so that may not be offered. Veterinary assistant is a possibility as is nurses aid and possibly nursing school.
I strongly suggest you give getting your anxiety under control one more time. The medication is only a small part to help you while you work with a therapist. If you are not comfortable with the first therapist you try find another. Most people work best with someone of their same sex. I was different I found a woman younger than me who was also a professor and we got along great.
I have intense feelings of hopelessness, headaches, trouble sleeping, fatigue, etcetera.
Does anyone know any prescription drugs that I can ask my psychiatrist about (to help with the depressed feelings and mood swings)?
Would eating healthier help? Meditation? Yoga? Exercising?
Please help, because I just keep contemplating suicide because of how crazy terrifying this is.
I do not know much about this disorder. From what I was able to read on the Web it appears to me that it should be a coordinated treatment between your psychiatrist and your Gynecologist. That's just my knee jerk reaction from my reading based on the little medical knowledge I have as a first responder.
Other things you can do to help with the other symptoms which should also be discussed with your doctor(s).
Acupuncture: I know this may sound strange and I was a disbeliever until my pain management doctor, I'm disabled with chronic back pain suffered in a accident suggested giving it a try. I had this accident while working and dealing with three sets of lawyers plus workmen's compensation through me into a deep depression as well. The acupuncture not only helped my pain but helped with the depression as well.
Psychologist: If you are not already working with a psychologist I suggest you do. A psychologist can help you realize what triggers the depression and deal with it in a better manner, mine did.
When finding a psychologist to work with you may go through 2 or more until you find one you are comfortable with. I went through 3 before I found one I was comfortable with. The key is finding someone you are willing to tell your deepest darkest secrets to comfortable in the knowledge that what ever you say never leaves the room they are said in.
Depression is a scary thing I know I have been there. You cannot go through this alone you need a good support network of both professional and friends. You need to tell you doctors about contemplating suicide when depressed as it is important.
Contemplating suicide is a symptom of depression. As long as you don't have a plan or made plans to commit suicide your not going to get locked away in some hospital. Your psychiatrist needs to know this to adjust your medication.
I just looked back at some of your other postings. I can see how your depression has been causing you pain and anguish in them. Again I'm not a doctor but I think your depression may be more than DMDD and is made worse during your menstrual period. There are things in your posts about how you feel that a psychiatrist should know about how you have been feeling. If you can print them out and take them to your next visit.
So here's the story.
My friend is from France and he goes to college here in America. He wound up agreeing to marry a girl here so he could get his green card and because she seemed really nice. They wound up creating a joint bank account and everything to make the government believe they really loved each other.
Well she wound up becoming a monster after he married her. She quit working, lives in his apartment, uses his car, and cheats on him all the time even in his own place. He gets paid mostly in tips and only has the one bank account (with her) since he's not a full citizen for another 2 years.
Well she's been immediately taking his money out of their account and spending it on strange things like weekend trips without him in other states.
He said he needs somebody to store his money for him and wants me to be that person because he says I'm the only person he trusts.
Is there any way I can get in trouble if I just take the cash and hold it somewhere even if it's outside of a bank account (like just in cash form in a drawer or something)?
I've known him for a while and know he's not a liar, but still I worry because I don't want to get scammed by him or his wife. I asked him if he can wire it to family, but they're out of the country and this would be difficult for him and cost him money in wiring rates. If I hold it he can also easily access it.
I'm really worried about it though. Is there any way this could go badly as long as I don't spend the cash and don't deposit it in my account?
I am not an attorney and cannot say what if any trouble he or you can get into on this matter. I am somewhat aware of Immigration laws and even once he gets his green card should it come out that his marriage was a scam his green card can be resided and he can be deported if not first spending some time in jail her too.
What I suggest is he seek advice from an Immigration attorney. Anything he tells the attorney is confidential and cannot be used against him.
As for the money he can open a bank account strictly in his name in the same bank or another bank. When the divorce any funds found to be in this account if the account is found, becomes part of the marital assets and may have to be shared as part of the divorce agreement.
I have made wrong choices and now I am no longer interested in remaining alive. I don't need advice how not to commit suicide. I need help to commit suicide. Please don't tell me that there is still anything worth remaining alive for on this planet. Don't kid yourself and don't try and kid me!! All I want is someone to assist me so that there is zero chance of failure. If you aren't prepared to do that then please don't bother making any comment. I am in the U.K. so you will also need to be in the U.K. Thanks very much.
First you have come to the wrong place for the assistance you are asking for. We do not help people end their lives, we help them live. There is no problem or wrong choice so wrong that it cannot be corrected.
What choices did you make that are so wrong that you cannot forgive yourself for or correct. When we receive these types of questions they for the most part come from young ladies and have to do with affairs of the heart. Loosing a boyfriend is no reason to kill yourself. There are plenty more boys out and one of them is perfect for you and I assure you this one was not.
You talk of choices. Choices are something we all make and we all make wrong ones. None of us are perfect, we learn from mistakes and move on. Did the choice you make or choices hurt someone ethically, legally or morally? If so these can be corrected and forgiven. Did you physically hurt someone. If so there may be a legal consequence to pay but then you have a life to live again. Depending on the severity of the harm the consequence may not be severe.
Before you go and do something so stupid, which again is a choice, the wrong choice. You can write me a private message that only you and I can see and you can delete after I answer you. Tell of these choices you have made and I will do my best to help you work through them and make them right.
Give me a chance to help you live. I see no reason here to rush to kill yourself.
My husband has been living with me and my family for four years. We had a child two years ago also, and now my 12 year old who calls him dad is being resentful about his stepfather authority he doesn't. Call himself her stepfather and treats her like our child and my son. But as we make thanksgiving plans she is having an attitude about his parents visiting. Also her father left when she was born and she doesn't know him any help with how to reduce her attitude for the holidays would be great
I'm sorry you did not care for my advice though I hope you will heed my advice as far as getting your daughter someone to talk to. I do believe that this is the center of the problem and she needs a professional to help her work through it.
Her reaction, as you have written, is not unusual when a parent and a step-parent have a child of there own for the child of one to react as she is. The psychologist will talk with you about the problem then work with her to find out why she is reacting this way and help her see a better way.
I see two possible problems here. One is sibling rivalry made worse by the fact that the baby is both yours and your husbands where she is only his stepchild. The other is far more common and usually referred to as the terrible teenage years were rebellion is quite common.
I tend to lean towards sibling rivalry more because it is your husband's family that is coming for dinner rather than your family. Here it is that the baby's family that is coming for dinner, not hers.
Now I'm not a psychologist and this is just a knee jerk reaction though to me it seems logical. Until the baby arrives she was the center of both of your attentions. Now the baby is here who is jointly yours and she is not.
My only suggestion for you is to find her a good child psychologist to talk to for she is not going to open up to you. She needs to talk to someone and that someone needs to assure her that what she says to them stays with them. The psychologist will never tell you what she said but will offer you ways to help her overcome whatever her problem is.
You and your husband should check with your insurance or benefits counselors at work to see if you have and EAP program. IF you do one of you should contact the program coordinator and ask for help in finding a child psychologist. The reason for going this route is that most programs will pay for a certain amount of visits in full then your health insurance takes over.
Can you place the virgin pill into your virgina whilst standing?
I've never heard of fake virgin pills. Honestly my advice is not to waste your money as it probably doesn't work. He will either feel the difference or the fake blood will not look like blood.
If you have had sex he will know. Just the fact that blood will appear may not satisfy him that he married a virgin. Depending on how much sex you have had you are going to also have to have great control over your vaginal muscle to provide a very tight vagina for him to enter while at the same time pretending to be a virgin again.
Do you remember what it was like to lose your virginity the first time? Are you a good enough actress to give that type of performance again? Last but not least. Is this the proper way to start your marriage with a lie?
If being a virgin on your wedding night is this important then I assume this is a cultural thing. Honestly though this is the 21st century and women has a much right to a sex life as does a man. I'm 99% certain your future husband will not be a virgin so why must you be?
As I said if this is a cultural thing I understand but cultures do change. Maybe it is time yours does.
When do most girls begin to finger their vagina hoe. Im 10 and started to at 8. Is that normal
Yes it is very normal. Sexual awareness is not something that comes at a specific age. Generally it comes at the beginning of puberty. While 8 is a little young for the start of puberty it is not unusual.
Actually masturbation is something infants do because it is comforting to them. Have you ever noticed an infant rocking back and forth in their cribs, generally while on their stomachs. They are masturbating, rocking back and forth against their diapers on their penis or vagina because it feels good and it is comforting. Doctors doubt they have any type of climax it's just a comforting way for them to go to sleep.
Short answer is no it is not unusual just as long as it is not an all encompassing past time.
Hi, I was wondering if you can finger yourself before you get yo ur FIRST period ever? Thanks
Your period is not a true indicator of your entry into puberty. In fact it is one of the results of you starting into puberty. As one starts in to puberty they also start to have sexual feelings and become sexually frustrated as well. Masturbation, fingering yourself, is a great way to relieve those sexual frustrations.
You have or probably will be told by your parents that masturbation is wrong, sinful or dirty. They are wrong. In fact they masturbate every time the make love as it is part of foreplay for them it is called mutual masturbation. A recent survey say that 85% of us masturbate.
When you feel the need to the best thing to do is to go to your room, make sure to lock the door, get comfortable and finger yourself. Another place where you have complete privacy would be in the shower or bath. Privacy and making sure you will be undisturbed is important to have a good experience.
Why as parents we tell you masturbation is bad is simple. It is enjoyable and we know it leads to wanting the real thing. Just remember that now girl has ever gotten pregnant from masturbating. If your waiting for your first period you have plenty of time to wait for the real thing.
short answer to your question: It is perfectly okay to finger yourself now.
I can never establish real savings or credit and it's really aggravating to me. I've been in college for a year and a half and I also work somewhere between part time and full time (depending on the week). I have a car payment and car insurance that come out to around $420, and then of course there's groceries and gas which is usually another $120 a month (I don't drive that far and I also have a meal plan so I use that for a few meals a week and other groceries I bargain hunt for).
I should be making around $700 a month, but that never seems to be the case because there's always some hours I can't work due to having too much homework.
Anyways, I still try to save a little bit, but it almost never works out because something ALWAYS happens. Every single last time!
For example, I finally had a bit of money saved up this week and now I need an oil change and my car only takes synthetic so that's going to cost me anywhere between $60-80. Then a prescription I have which is usually free suddenly started being $20 a month. So right away there goes $100 I don't really have that I have to throw out.
If it's not that then it's somebody's birthday or a holiday and every semester my textbooks come out to $200-300 so I have to prep for that every 4 months.
Then there's other always other various expenses that come up as things break, run out, or wear out and they always seem to happen right after I've finally saved up a bit.
I want to try establishing credit because right now my credit score is only like 603 which I know isn't good, but it's because I have a car loan and school loans out and have never built my credit. Whenever I apply for a credit card though they tell me that I don't have a high enough score and that I have revolving credit out (because of the loans). They usually offer me a secured credit cart, but always want me to put $300-1000 down on it, which I never have just floating around to use. I could do small payments every month like $25-50 on it, but I can't really put $500 down all at once.
I really need some kind of credit though because my laptop is acting like it's powersource is dying and a good laptop can be $700+. Of course having a laptop is mandatory for school and my job.
How can I start saving more money or go about building credit in some ways I wouldn't think of?
I already do a lot of bargain hunting and am constantly watching for sales so I dont spend a lot of money on thing, but still I can't seem to save up enough...
You write that you make $700 a month. Is that your gross pay or what you have in hand after taxes are withheld. If that is the gross pay then your take home pay is less.
One way to increase your take home pay is to increase your dependents on the W-4 you have filed with your employer. IF you filed for zero increase it to 1. IF you filed for one increase it to 2.
Your books and tuition, medication and mileage to the drugstore and doctor's office are tax deductible and can make up any shortfall you may have at the end of the year when you do your taxes. You may have to do a long form tax return or go to a tax preparer to take advantage of all tax deductions you have.
Note: If you are going to take yourself as a deduction on your taxes then your parents may not take you as a deduction. Make sure to tell them you plan to take yourself as a deduction on your taxes.
Once you know what an average take home paycheck will be you need to plan a budget. You already know you have fixed monthly expenses of $440.00. Deduct this from your take home pay. The rest is what you have for spendable income to budget with.
Now you know you will need $300.00, use the higher number for budgeting, for books. Divide this by the number of months until you will need to buy books. Of course this this time the duration will be shorter and the amount you need to set aside for books will be higher. Next semester it will be longer and the amount shorter. Each pay day this amount goes into a checking or savings account.
From what is left over put 10% into savings. Hold some aside fro gas for the car. Put some aside for contingencies. The rest is spendable for entertainment or clothes.
Because of the fixed expenses you have and the amount you need to set aside for books you may not have a lot left over. Even so set that 10% aside for savings. This is how you build savings.
Fro a new laptop. I suggest you contact Dell Computers. I love Dell I use nothing but Dell and always have. They have great laptops that start at fairly low prices. They also have purchase plans and special programs for students aligned with different colleges. The link below will take you to their website.
Dell is familiar with student needs and is fairly easy to get some type of credit program with. Not only does this get you a new laptop; it establishes credit for you so in 4 to 6 months you can apply for a regular credit card.
There is an old saying that one must crawl before they walk. When it comes to establishing credit this say is very true. Establish a line of credit with dell. Make payments on time for 4 to six months and you will have established a credit value.
http://pilot.search.dell.com/laptops/Student%20laptop%20purchase%20programs
Hello.Im from Greece,Im 15 and a girl and the boy im in love with is 13.5..I have told my parents but my dad has a problem because he is younger than me and he thinks that in that age we can not make a relantioship..he likes him and stuff but its just that he is younger,what should i do?how to make him realize that he is so a good boy and mature for his age how to make him understand that im in love with him?
What our father and I both know and you will find out as you experience it is; that teenage love affairs are always the love of your life. The reality is that teenage love affairs rarely if ever last more than a few months and in your case you have a multitude of strikes against you before you even start your romance.
Your boyfriend is 13.5 years old barely a teenager. He has yet to experience dating as you may have. Teenage boys and teenage girls have different definitions of love. A girls definition is more like what you will find in a dictionary. A boys definition fits the word LUST more than love.
As far as maturity goes you may be only a year and a half older than him but you are closer to four years older than him in maturity as girls mature faster than boys by about 2 years faster. So even if you were the same age your maturity level would be higher.
It is the level of maturity that makes teenage romances short lived. As it should be. This is the time for you to experience life. This is not the time to be tied down to one individual. I understand a girl's social need to have a steady boyfriend. It is really time to change that picture. Boys are allowed to play the field. Girls should be allowed to play the field as well without any stigma being attached. This is the 21st century with equality for men and women. Both boys and girls need to experience life.
Yes date this boy if you want but do not get that serious with him. Give yourself the opportunity to date others and experience the variety of different boys out their. The time for serious relationships comes in college or beyond.
Where i can find Basketball Trainer for boys ?
I would start with the local community sports clubs through either their school or the Parks and Recreation Department where you live. You can also contact the local YMCA.
I also found this Website: https://www.coachup.com/sports/maryland/basketball?matchtype=p&network=o&device=c&creative={creative}&keyword=Basketball%20trainer&placement={placement}&target={target}&random={random}&aceid={aceid}&adposition={adposition}. Just put in your zip code and follow the prompts. I so suggest you get references and a background check on any of the coaches listed.
is there in loco parentis in michigan
Loco Parentis - The legal doctrine under which an individual assumes parental rights, duties, and obligations without going through the formalities of legal adoption.
I am not a lawyer but I can tell you that every state has some type of Loco Parentis law on their books. The difference is in how it is awarded or justified by the court. For this you need to speak to a lawyer. in Michigan.
If you have a situation where you feel you need to assume parental rights over a child but cannot afford a lawyer contact child protective services(CPS). CPS can place the child in your custody which is a form of Loco Parentis. If you can afford a lawyer than contact a family law attorney for help.
In university well at least in my school since the classes have at least 300-1000 students sometimes they would split us up into smaller class rooms called tutorials with about 50 maximum students. My tutorial teacher doesn't really know how to teach so he forces us to read our assignments out to the class, every Monday I dread going to the tutorial since he always makes us read usually I'm always anxious but today my heart was beating super fast and loud, and my face started getting hot and tingling. Then when it was my turn to read, I read it and he just nodded his head and moved on to the next person but when other people read he would comment so when he nodded my eyes started to water and I had to blink back tears because I didn't wanna cause a scene or bring attention to myself but my eyes were watering for about 20 mins and my heart was still beating fast even after my turn was done, my heart stopped racing really fast after about 10 minutes. I've had something like this before where in grade 12 I was presenting in front of the class with 3 other girls, majority of the class were judgemental people and I don't like being judged, so when it was my turn to speak my eyes started blacking out, I started to stutter and and my face was getting hot and tingly again, luckily my part was small or else I would've fainted right in front of everyone. Anyways do you think this is social anxiety or just panic attacks or both? If I told my tutorial teacher that speaking in front of the class gives me panic attacks do you think he will care or would he ask for a doctors note? (I've had a mini panic attack when I was about 16 and I told my mom, she didn't wanna take me to the doctor because sometimes those pills mess you up) and just a little background information on me I'm a 17 year old female about to be 18 in 2 months, most people would say I'm awkward, shy and quiet. I'm an introvert I don't like socializing with people and I don't like parties or places where I don't know the people cause it's just awkward for me. I don't have any guy friends, most guys think I'm awkward around them when I'm awkward around everybody and that's about it
We are not doctors and it would be wrong of us to make a diagnoses. What I would recommend since this is interfering with your ability to get your education and have a social life is that you do the following,
First; see a family practice doctor for a complete physical to rule out any organic reason for this problem.
Second; I would then see either a psychologist or psychiatrist to talk about the problem. My recommendation would be to see a board certified psychiatrist first for they are best trained to help you. No you do not have a mental illness. Social anxiety and panic attacks general stem from lack of hormones secreted into the brain. Since these hormones are secreted into the brain the psychiatrist is the best doctor to medicate.
Third, The psychiatrist will most likely recommend talk therapy with a psychologist. This is an excellent suggestion as the psychologist can help you adapt not only to the medication but how you will feel with it and how you can enter life as a new person.
This is like an algebra problem. You must do all the steps in order. The physical could reveal an organic problem or not. Then there is medication to replace what your missing. The medication does not have to mess you up if it does tell the doctor and they will adjust it. The psychologist is your new best friend someone you can tell your deepest secrets to. He or she will help you put to rest these problems.
My question is why do adults teach their children not to interrupt people because it's rude and then they end up doing it? It happens to me ALL the time. I can be talking to my mother at a party for family friends or something when one of her friends just comes up and starts talking, to which my mother would go to listen to because or else it would be considered rude. So what are kids just not worthy of being the first voice? Is interrupting a kid who's talking somehow justified with "oh its just more important" when its its actually not even close to that? Are kids talking to somebody just invisible to the other? Why should kids not interrupt adults when adults do that all the time to kids?
No it is not right for an adult to interrupt a child when they are talking. Problem is when adults teach their children not to interrupt someone when they are talking it is more of a; "Do as I say not as not as I do," type lesson.
There is also the problem of a child's age. A very young child of course wants to be included in the conversation but has little if anything to contribute. The child may not understand the conversation an start to talk something he or she may be interested in , has happened to them or even something totally nonsensical. A good parent will listen to the child so that the child feels included. The Aunt, Uncle or family friend may listen to what the child is saying and decide it is unimportant and talk over the child.
This tends to change as a child gets older and starts to understand the conversations better and can actually participate in the conversation. When you reach that age, generally around 15 or 16, maybe a bit earlier. If you are contributing to a conversation and someone starts to interrupt or talk over you. I have no problem with you saying, "excuse me but I was talking or I was giving my point of view on the matter."
I don't know your age but when I was younger I did this many times. Sometimes I received an apology and other times I was told I'm a child and children should be seen and not heard.
The fact is that in situations like this you have to stand up for yourself first then let mom or dad support you. That's how it worked in my family.
My suggestion is talk to mom and dad, tell them how you feel and ask them if the next time this happens if they will support you if you say something like I did above. To say to someone, "excuse me but I was speaking," is not rude. I've used it hundreds of times.