I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65020
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ok here's the deal.......me and my boyfriend have bin going out for 5 months now and it would have bin 6 if we hadn't we hadnt bin waiting to make sure thats what we wanted and going out with the same guy for that long is a recorde for me lol anyways i know i'm totally and completly in love.....my question is......am i stupid to think this guy is the one......some people say i am because i'm only seventeen but my mom described to me when she met my dad she just knew and thats how i feel like i just know he's the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with......what do you think?
thanks in advance (link)
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No it's not stupid at all.
When I first met my boyfriend I was the same age as you are now. We've been together now nearly 3 years and live together and he and I both know we want to be together for the rest of our lives. We just couldn't bear to be without each other now!
We're taught from a young age that love is something that can't happen until you are older but the fact is it's merely rare, not impossible.
The only word of advice I can give is not to give up too easily. So many couples break up these days because things get tough and they give up. Because you're still quite young you will have a LOT to face with each other and you need to stay strong through it. Like it or not, you still have growing up to do and I expect he has as well. So just be careful not to let things get to you too much and to make sure you work through them as carefully as you can. Don't worry, if you really love each other, you'll be just fine.
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When I get up from my seat or the bed and I see spots for a few seconds, what is that? (link)
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It sounds like a head rush. It just happens sometimes when you get up too quickly. You can also feel really dizzy or occasionally (in bad cases) it can make you black out for a second or two.
It's nothing to worry about unless it starts to happen a lot.
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if you like someone but have a bf/gf is it considered cheating? jw. (link)
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No, it's not really considered cheating.
The truth is, most people develop slight crushes on other people from time to time, even when they're in a serious relationship or married. However, what crosses the line between a harmless crush is real feelings and/or then acting on those feelings.
If you actually kiss/fool around/have sex with the person you like while with your partner, then it is considered cheating.
It's also worth mentioning that if the feelings you have for another person are strong, you are probably not totally committed to the relationship you are already in.
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I love knowing that my boyfriend is caring and trusting but I can't help but feel like I need to watch him. I know he likes me and doesn't want to be with anyone else, but I can help checking the comments he gets from other girls on Myspace or how he looks at other girls. I know its pretty normal for any girl to do that. When he doesn't message me (when he's online) I get nervous that he thinks I'm insane or something. Yet I know that he probably isn't paying attention to the screen, is busy, etc. I've never been like this with any of my other boyfriends and he makes me nervous/intimidated, (In a good way) because he's exactly the type of guy I've always wanted. I just don't want to lose him but I know inside he likes me a lot. How can I deal with these somewhat jealous feelings I get when he talks with other girls and understand he likes me not them? Sorry if that sounded conceited, I'll rate. (link)
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It doesn't sound conceited. What you're going through is very normal for the majority of women when they know they have found someone they could really and truly care about.
You know, when I first started going out with my boyfriend I went through a similar thing. I used to text him and I would end up waiting an hour or more for a text back at times. I used to this he was ignoring me, he was with another girl, he didn't want to talk to me for whatever reason. Later, after a year or so, I realised it's because he texts while watching TV and gets so engrossed, he can sit with his phone in his hand for half an hour to an hour without finishing the text!!
My point is that usually there are completely normal explanations for things like these, as you have already said but you need to learn coping mechanisms so your imagination doesn't run riot. It's VERY hard to control paranoia over things like this (hope you're not offended but that's what I always classed it as with me) but it can be done.
The one thing that ALWAYS stopped me from panicking was one occasion where my boyfriend told me that if I couldn't stop being paranoid over it and if I couldn't stop thinking he didn't love me then the relationship wouldn't be able to go anywhere. Right then I knew I had to control it.
So when something happened that made me paranoid, I had a REALLY long think before I acted on it. What else could he be doing? Did he give me any signs someone else might be involved last time I saw him? and so forth. After a while, I got used to thinking about all the alternatives to him ignoring me and I got over it. I also learned to suppress my feelings of jealousy and fear because they weren't caused by him, they were caused by my own lack of self esteem and eventually they would drive him away. So I tried to focus on other things. I played a computer game, I phoned a friend for a chat.
This is exactly what you need to do. Realise that your paranoia over him being with someone else is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you worry aloud to him about it, the more likely it is to drive him to it. So calm down before you say anything. Suppress it, write about it, talk about it to a friend, anything but don't voice it aloud to him. Eventually, you'll realise this is common behaviour for a man and you'll be over it.
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Every couple of months, I keep having the same reoccuring dream of one of my guy friends trying to rape me. It's really weird.. and in the dream he trys to come after me, but I run to get away and end up hiding away in a hotel in some other town for a long time. I've had this dream for the past year.. every few months. What does this mean? (link)
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Generally any dreams where you are running away from something means there's something in your life you're scared to face. Since rape is possibly the worst thing that can happen to a woman, I'm guessing that whatever this is, it's a pretty big issue somewhere in your mind.
This being said, you also need to realise that even recurring dreams may have no real meaning. While dreams are often our subconscious's way of working out our daily issues while we sleep, a lot of dreams have no real meaning at all but are more the product of active imagination! I know they're horrible though. I remember my sister had a recurring dream about dead bodies and skeletons lying in a car park near where we lived for around a year. It really is just one of those things and when it happens, you have to learn to try to put it out of your mind and remind yourself it isn't real.
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It seems impossible to save enough money for a mortgage downpayment. how do most people do it and buy a house? Are there any shortcuts? (link)
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My other half and I slaved away for a LONG time to afford our downpayment. It was around £8,000 altogether in the end and the mortgage is quite a good deal but if we hadn't saved for so long we never could have managed.
There aren't really shortcuts if you want to do it properly. There are lots of different mortgage options and I would suggest you speak to a Financial Adviser for further information but if you want to be sure you don't get caught out, the only thing you can do is work out what sort of money would be a reasonable sum and then work overtime as much as possible until you have enough money to do it.
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Hey everyone!
For some reason I feel like reading I would really apreciate if you people would recommend some of your favorite books and a little bit on what it is about =)
Thanks, (link)
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My favourite book of all time is The Pursuit Of Happiness by Douglas Kennedy.
It's pretty heavy going but it's got drama, comedy, excitement and at one point I actually started crying!! Stupid I know but it;s a very involved book and very emotional. Beautifully written and a unique tale.
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Anyway, whenever I drive with my parents in the car there always yelling at me, speed up, watch out, your gonna crash. They need to realize that I'm already nervous. All there doing is fueling the flame. They've gotten so nervous they haven't even let me drive for about a month now. Thing is i've never crashed and I know I'm not that bad of a driver. They say they expect me to get my liscence next year. I'll be 16. What do I do? (link)
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It's VERY rare for parents to be able to teach their kids to drive. My Mum drove me NUTS when I was in the car and learning with her!!
If they can't sit in the car with you without driving you up the wall (or into it!) try suggesting you have professional driving lessons with a proper driving instructor. You don't have to tell them it's anything to do with them. Just explain to them that you want to get your license next year and maybe it would be a good idea to get a few lessons with a professional.
They shouldn't mind doing this, although the cost might be a factor, in which case it will depend on how badly you really want it. If you don't have a job and can't afford to pay for the lessons yourself, you may have to do a few extra chores to work off the cost. If your parents really are making learning that difficult, it will be worth the effort.
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Here's the laydown. I am a eight grade girl; I like a guy in 8th gade. We have been close friends for two years now. We have kissed but only during spin the bottle. I cant figure out if he likes me. I mean he waits for me after class and flirts and what not but he gives mixed signals. What are things guys do when they like you?UM if you help me I will love you forever and give feedback. (link)
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My guess is that he likes you and gives you mixed signals because he's too shy to let you know. After all, if you could get out of kissing a guy you didn't like in Spin The Bottle, you would, wouldn't you!
Try asking him out. I'm sure he'll be in favour of the idea.
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Well theres this guy....
I'm sure most of you are tired of seeing that, my apologies.
Anyway, I've known him for almost two years now and hes one of those guys who teases me all the time, in a friendly way and I'm starting to fall for him.
It's just that when I'm not around him I want him more but when I'm actually near him I dont want anything to do with him.
Does anyone have an explanation as to why I feel this way? I don't even know if I like him or not.
Thank you very much. =) (link)
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Oh dear!! You found yourself a Bad Boy! The problem with bad boys is that they are, in their own way, very seductive. We hate them, loathe them, detest their very existence (hence why you don't want anything to do with him when he's around) but we just can't get enough of them! Hence why you want him round when he's not.
Much as I hate to say it, bad boys are always best left alone but as you sound as though you may already be under his spell, this may be easier said than done! It's a sort of masochistic desire that brings us back to them time and time again.
The only thing I can suggest is that you either try to go out with him or you focus on other guys instead, to try and take your mind off him. It might be a little tough but be warned. If you go out with him, he's likely to hurt you. Then again, maybe it's a right of passage for every woman. After all, you can't know true love until you've been burned........the choice is really up to you.
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well, the girlfriend and i were havin sex last night...i came in the condom i was wearing, then pulled out....but she kept things goin till i got erect again about 15 minutes later...still wearing that same condom with the cum in it, we started having sex again...the condom then broke a few minutes later...i pulled out as soon as i noticed...but im worried that the cum already in the condom could still possibly get her pregnant??...id really appreciate an answer. Thanks ppl. (link)
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Shortly put, yes it could.
There is spermicide in the tip of condoms but it doesn't kill all the sperm. Also, you should NEVER use the same condom twice. (Now you know why!) The best thing you/she can do now is to get the Morning After Pill and never use the same condom twice again.
I would also recommend that if she is sexually active, she should speak to her doctor about going on the Pill. The Pill is more effective than condoms and if you use the two together (the Dutch call this going Double Dutch) then you are about as protected as you can possibly get.
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So I like this guy in my last class but he has a girlfriend. But he hits on me all the time. Today his hands were never in appropiate places (i was willing so it wasnt like he was being a dick) But he still has a girlfriend. PROBLEM. I also like my ex-boyfriend.. i hit on him a lot but not so much with him hitting on me. I think if i tried i could get this guy back, he was really great. But I dont know what to do. One has a gf the other i've already dated! (link)
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I would advise very strongly against going after this guy who has a girlfriend. Other than the fact he is already taken, he clearly has no respect for this girlfriend and there's no reason to think he would show you any more respect if you were to take her place. If he was to dump her for you, you would hardly be very popular and that's not the sort of reputation you want.
As for your ex, this situation is entirely up to you. There's nothing wrong with getting back with an ex as such....but if you broke up with him, you might want to think about why you dumped him in the first place. Did he cheat on you? Was he not there for you? If he behaved badly, you can't expect he will behave any better this time. If you think he might be able to get his act together then by all means give it another go but be prepared for the fact that he may just let you down again.
You might be better off forgetting both of these guys and finding someone new. Someone who respects women and doesn't hit on other girls when he has a girlfriend. Someone who you haven't already dated and someone who truly deserves you.
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http://www.focusas.com/Depression.html
That's the site that I found the depression symptoms on! I've had all except the last 3 and the running away one. I'm relly scared and I don't want to tell my mom because she has alot on her plate right now and I don't want her to knoe. My mom has depression too I think and they did say it could run in families. She had it when she was 28 or 30 and now I have it wen I'm 14! I don't want to have it forever and I would relly appreciate any possible help!! Please because I don't want to grow up morbid (link)
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I hate to say it but it's difficult to stay positive when someone around you is so depressed so it stands to reason that if your Mum is suffering in this way, you would be too.
I can't really tell you how to feel better because I think everyone has to overcome depression in their own way. The only thing I would say is that unless you really feel you have no choice, stay away from anti-depressants if you can.
I went through a very serious bout of depression a few years ago (tried to slit my wrists) and the doctor prescribed me anti-depressants. I never took them and I got myself over it because I wanted to know I was feeling things for myself, rather than because a drug dictated it.
The problem is, you need to break yourself out of it. The best recommendation I can make is that you think about all the stuff you used to do that was fun. Think about going out with friends or just hanging out, going shopping and so on. When you're very depressed, it's difficult to make yourself do those things because it gets to a stage where you almost feel afraid to be happy. That's why you have to MAKE yourself do it. My turning point was a pillow fight in my road with my sister and a friend. You need to find your turning point. Chances are you might literally have to force yourself to do whatever it is but you will start to feel better when you do.
I would also recommend that you sort the problem at its source. As I said, if your Mother is depressed, it follows you would be too because you would be picking up on her emotions. See if you can get some counselling so you can get things off your chest because you may not want to tell your Mum but you should be able to and you need to talk to someone about the things that bother you.
You will start to dig yourself out of that black hole but you will need to try very very hard. It's like walking through quicksand. It can be done but it's tough and you need to really want to do it. Please try.
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Alright so I'm in an FCS class and our cooking groups are like, our rows, and i'm in a row with all the special ed students. And I don't know how to cook, so I kinda depend on other people to help me, but I can't depend on them. And I really don't want to go to school tomorrow because I'm way too freaked out because I won't know what to do. But I really want to see this boy, so I DO want to go, and the part of me that wants to go to see the boy that I like is over ruling the part that's worried about FCS.. plus I'm planning on staying home on Wednsday because of gym testing, so, what should I do? (link)
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Cooking is a bit of a fine art and it can be tough to get the hang of it but if you give up then that's it for you and cooking and you'll spend your life eating take-outs and anything on toast!!
It's really important that you learn how to cook now and it's better to do it in the safety of the classroom than at home, where your parents will scream at you if you burn a saucepan or fill the house with smoke! But you can't depend on other people. A lot of cooking is about instinct so maybe if you stopped depending on others, you might discover your instincts and you could be a lot better than you think you are.
If you have a lot of problems, you could always find out what you will be cooking in lessons and give it a trial run at home a night or two before with the help of your parents.
The two most important things here though are that you can't just give up if you find something hard because you won't achieve anything that way. Anything worth achieving requires some work and you could be really good if you try at it without depending on others.
The other thing is that you can't skip school every time there's something coming up that you don't like. School is a time in our lives where we can be humiliated beyond compare and tortured during P.E but you HAVE to do it, however pointless it seems. You'll see why when you get older but you need to learn now that you can't get out of everything you don't like because when you get out into the world of work, you won't be able to miss days because you don't like it.
So however sucky it is (and believe me I DO understand!) you're going to have to pull it together and keep at it because in years to come, you'll regret it if you don't.
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is it true that guys are only your friends if they are some what attracted to you .. like theyd only be your friend if they like your of if they think your hot is that true? - 15/f (link)
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I don't really think that's true, no. I have male friends who don't fancy me and I don't fancy them but when I see them we have a good laugh.
It's quite commonly believed that men and women can't be just friends because emotions and sex get involved, one ends up fancying the other, etc. I suppose it can be true in a lot of cases but that doens't mean that all guys are so shallow they can't possibly be friends with a girl they're not attracted to.
If you're a good person and you make them laugh, there's no reason they can't be your friend and they don't have to fancy you for that.
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ok so im a virgin and im 17 never had sex! but ive become ill and for 3 years now ive kept getting urinry tract infectins and this time the doctor said its cythlis or something and im thinking ive not had sex ever why do i keep getting them and what is the doctor thinking? I have to questions one is they have sent some medicine so i need to start that but im really worried because my pubic area feels all tingly. Also when im older if i have sex i heard that the man can catch it and im really worried. Also will i get better and will this go away someone help me please. thank you in advance. (link)
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Cystitis is a bladder infection which is caused when bacteria (usually from your rear end, I'm sorry to say) gets into your bladder. This is most commonly caused by wiping too far from back to front after going to the loo.
There are two different types of cystitis. There's the bladder infection and then there is what they call 'honeymoon cystitis'. You have the first kind but the second is usually caused when vigorous sexual intercourse bruises you internally and irritates your bladder. It's not an infection but can be very uncomfortable for a while.
Now, the infection type of cystitis is easily treated with a course of antibiotics, which cures it completely so you don't need to worry about passing it onto potential sexual partners in the future. However, it can be very uncomfortable. The bacteria in that part of your body multiplies every 20minutes so make sure you drink plenty of fluids to help flush it out. Also, you might want to try drinking cranberry juice. Yes, it does taste pretty disgusting but the reason it hurts when you pee is because urine is acidic and when it comes out of you, it burns because the infection makes that area sensitive. Cranberry juice is an alkaline and will help to reduce the acidity and therefore the pain when you go to the loo.
The tingly feeling is totally normal and again, this will disappear with the course of antibiotics. If you take the full course, there will be no lasting effects at all and it is not really considered to be a common STI and is not an STD. The only possible problem is that if you don't take the medicine, the infection can spread to your kidneys and that will make you very ill. So as long as you take the antibiotics, it will all clear up completely and as long as you are careful in the future, you will have no need to worry about it happening again.
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I really don't know if I did the right thing breaking up with my boyfriend. Every one I talked to has said I've done the right thing. Well anyway, my ex had "friends" who called me names all the time right in front of him and he never did anything about. Another occurance was when one of his friends threw dry glue at right in front of him. Well he just watched it happen. I have no problem with standing up for myself. It's just, well I don't know that's why I'm asking the question. (link)
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Oh you definitely did the right thing and there is no doubt in my mind about that.
Just because you can stand up for yourself it doesn't mean your boyfriend should just stand there and let his friends get away with treating you like dirt!! It's perfectly reasonable for you to expect him to defend you. If he's more prepared to let his friends treat you this way than defend you, you definitely did the right thing and now it's down to you to find a guy who will treat you right.
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my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and at school there's these 2 kids that pick on me and talk bad about my mom constantly and iam about to get fed up with it.Today the boy Justin is the worst he took my purse and ran around the classroom with it and he took my soda and shook it up and he told me that my outfit I was wearing looked like a nurses uniform.The girl told me that I was mean becouse I told on them.I feel like fighting both of them what should I do? (link)
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First of all do NOT fight them. Kids like this get such a great enjoyment out of other people's misery and getting such a rise out of you will not only spur them on but will also risk you getting in trouble too.
I know how hard it is because I was in a very similar position myself for the first two years I was at a school and I was more miserable than I could ever tell you. But the best thing you can do is to keep your head down and try to ignore it as much as possible. Think about it long and hard before you do or say anything when they try to upset you. If they say things about your Mum.....ignore it. What does it matter in the long run? Yes it might upset you but the more they get a reaction, the more fun it will be and the more they will keep on.
If they take your drinks and shake them up, don't drink them. If they comment on what you are wearing, ignore them. It's only clothes and what you wear does NOT define who you are or what you will become.
If it really does get to be a big problem and they won't back off even though you ignore them, make sure you note everything they do to you and take it to your head of year/headteacher or another trusted faculty member. They have an obligation to you not to permit this sort of behaviour and if they won't make it stop, they might be able to get you moved out of that class.
Most of all, try to keep your chin up. I know it doens't seem like this now but it won't last forever and it will make you so much stronger in the long run. Meanwhile, they are just low lifes who have nothing better to do than torment others for no good reason. You're a much better person than they are and that is something that will never change.
Don't worry. You CAN cope and if you ever need to talk, please e-mail me.
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I would really like a boyfriend,
just to love and be loved in return.
I'm just lonely, and everyone says,
you'll fall in love eventually.
Eventually .. huh? aghh, I'm just sick of being alone.
I mean does anyone actually get my point.. of how i wanta boyfriend, i want to be in love?
ahghh what can i do? is patience the best answer?
dont give me some mean/smartass answer please.
thanks.
(link)
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Love can be the best thing in the world.....but it's rare. Especially these days and sometime you have to wait a long time for it. The problem with this is that more and more people are feeling the way you feel now because everyone wants to find that 'one' who will make them complete.
I don't know if maybe this is the case for you but a lot of people these days, especially women are under such pressure from the media, friends, relatives and so on to be part of a couple that they forget how to be alone and they forget the benefits of being single, footloose and fancy-free.
I tend to believe that if you want to make something happen, you have to go out there and make it happen. After all, this is the 2000's and we girls can't sit around all day waiting for our knight in shining armour to find us! Sometimes we have to go and beat the castle door down before we grow old and die of boredom!! So maybe you could try taking up a new hobby or class? Something you're interested in where it's a group activity and you have the chance of meeting other people. After all, every new person you meet will know at least 4 or 5 other people and you don't know if one of them might be Mr Right!
In the meantime, try not to get too hung up on this. Yes, relationships can be great if you're in a good one but they also bring a lot of sadness, anger and frustration at times and there's a lot you can achieve with your life and yourself when you don't have to worry about anyone else. So make the most of the freedom you have right now and look at the positives. Also, remember to brush up those pearly white and smile as much as you can! Nothing attracts the good men to a girl like a huge smile!
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so ive been seeng this guy for a little while now and i totally do wanna wait to have sex with him but sometimes i just get so tempted! my morals dont seem near as strong and my promise to myself that id at least wait till im 18 seems harder and harder to wanna keep. (btw im a virgin) so what i wanna know is does anyone regret there first time? like it wasnt special or they wish they waited? any tips or advice is truely appreciated. (link)
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I actually waited until I was 18 and had been with my boyfriend for 4 months before we did anything. It was very special and I'm still with the guy nearly 3 years on.
I'm a firm believer that you need to be sure you are in a stable relationship before you sleep with someone because too many girls end up being used and cast aside by men who are too willing to take advantage, especially if they think they are a virgin or 'easy'.
I know that I have friends who had sex at 15 and regret it and half the kids I went to primary and middle school with now have children already. One of them was a Dad at either 14 or 15. It's just not worth the risk unless you KNOW you're in a stable relationship.
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