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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Is 20 too young to move in with someone? I am about to get my bachelor's in a few months, I have a job with which I can support myself,and with a year or two more of experience there it will easily become a career. I live on my own, and I've been best friends with the guy for a year and a half. He is 25, is financially stable, has money saved up for a future family, he is responsible, lives on his own as well.
We haven't really talked about it much, but is it weird for me to want to settle down so young? There's no job I want more than to be a mother and wife. I would love to be a stay at home mom, and then work part time once the kids start school. Obviously, if my husband can't support the family while the kids are still too young to start school, I can work as well too, but the first alternative would obviously be the ideal because I'm not too keen on daycares.
Is it strange that I thought this all through? I don't want to rush into things, I want to start with moving in together first for a year or two, and seeing how that goes. Then getting engaged and married and all that (I don't really believe in long engagements, if I am going to agree to marry someone I would be ready to marry him that very second). I'm not a big fan of weddings either.
This man and I have survived through a ton, more than most relationships go through in such a short amount of time. Where most relationships fall apart, we stayed strong (but of course we had many fight and disagreements along the way, it hasn't been perfect, the important thing we resolved them and moved on).
Is this weird? Should I tell my man that my dream is to be a wife and mother? Right now he's working hard to save up money for the kids he plans to have, so I feel that its something he may appreciate hearing, but I don't want to freak him out by telling him I want this now (I want it in 3-5 years). And I know he doesn't want that right now either, he doesn't feel financially ready.
Any personal stories on how you took your relationship to the next level? I feel like the man should be the one who decides when that will happen, but will hinting ruin things? I don't want him to feel like I'm pressuring him, because I know that with him that's the worst way to go about things.
Is it weird to have life goals? No, a life plan or direction is something everyone should have but most people don't. Which is why so many people fail at what they are trying to accomplish.
There is an old saying about planning; "There are people who fail to plan and people who plan to fail. Planning to fail accomplish nothing. Not having a plan means your left to run around like your head has been cut off. Having a plan and working that plan generally leads to some form of success. Yes, some plans do fail in spite of everything you do; for reasons unforeseen such as the current economic situation. A plan is a road map to your goal. You can take detours, try different highways; just as long as you keep your eyes on your goal. You can even reset you goal once you obtain it if you wish to try for a higher goal.
From what you have written; your boyfriend has in one manner or another told you of his life plans. If you have not told him of your life plans maybe you should. He may just be waiting to hear if your plans and his mesh in any way.
You may want to start the conversation one romantic evening by saying something like: You know BF in one way or another I know what your life desires, plans and goals are. I have never really told you of mine; would like to hear my life desires and goals are? If he says yes then you can tell him. If he says no, then maybe he is not the person you want to continue with to get to your goals.
18/f
My sister wanted me to take a picture with her and she wanted me to get behind her sofa. So on my way behind, I got a slight cut either from the wooden part of her sofa (she has the sofa where it can pull out into a bed) or it was possibly a carpet burn. I put medicine on it when I got home, but it just became a brown line across my leg. Is there a way to get rid of it or to even heal? It's been a week, and I haven't seen any improvement. Help?
I don't put a lot of stock in these fancy creams that charge an arm and a leg for what nature will do by itself.
Your young and your skin is still very plastic. If you use a good moisturising cream the scar will eventually lighten as each of the layers of skin heals.
I saw a documentary on the National Geographic channel the other day I believe it was called; "The Amazing Machine," part of their "Our Body Series." I found out something I never new about our skin in that the outer layer of our skin is made up almost entirely of dead skin cells. I had to leave before the program ended and I am hoping they will rerun it so I can see it through to the end some time.
I saw enough of the program to make be believe that some of these magic potions being advertised needs to be looked at with a fair amount of skepticism. That is why I'm saying a good moisturising cream is your best help for good soft skin.
If the cut is still not properly healed within the next week see you doctor. There may be a small infection that needs an antibiotic needed to aid in the healing process. As for help with good skin care a Dermatologist can give you the best advise.
I'm feeling ashamed of myself, because I've been thinking that I may have been sexually "abused" as a child. My father is an alcoholic & is a violent & careless person when he drinks. I am the youngest and only girl. When I was younger than 8, my dad would watch soft-core porn while I was in the room. Sometimes he would make me put my blanket over my head. Typically, I was in a different seat than him, so he wasn't touching me. My dad has always been blunt and open about sex or sexuality to us kids. Once when I was in bed between my parents after a nightmare, he reached over and squeezed where I would have breasts had I been old enough & squeezed my vagina. Not sure if he was asleep or not, but it scared me badly. He's always made comments about my breasts, even when I didn't have any. I had a recurring nightmare as a child of being sexually molested by a teenage boy in a public setting. I have a lot of anxiety issues, suffered from severe depression, & have had suicidal thoughts since I was in elementary school.
I'm extremely ashamed of myself for even considering that I may have been sexually abused as a child. I know my dad loves me and wouldn't be upset to be accused of such a thing. I have sexual problems & have always had major self-esteeem issues. I don't want to think that I was sexually abused if I wasn't. I don't know that I was touched or assaulted and most of this happened before my 8th birthday. I am now 30. I was date raped by an acquaitance in my own home when I was 22.
Does it sound like legitimate abuse, or am I just being too sensitive? I don't want to belittle legitimate abuse by making an accusation when it's not really abuse. I appreciate genuine, thoughtful responses.
Where you sexually abused as a child? I believe so. As to the date rape the statue of limitations may have run out on this after 8 years. You would need to check with the local police.
Because of what you have written and because of how you say you are feeling. I can see you are not dealing well at all with these traumatic experiences on your own. There is a place you can turn to for help, which is confidential.
I would like you to call an organization called RAINN which stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. They operate a 24/7 National hotline staffed by Trained Professionals who can help you meet professional in you area who can help you deal with theses' traumas.
No one should have to live with what happened to you. Neither should you feel embarrassed or ashamed by what has happened as you are not at fault for this. Neither is it a sign of weakness to ask for help. These type of traumas never truly go away though you can learn to live with them and lead a normal life. Learning to live with this is something that requires help.
So please call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE and start on the rode to recovery.
I'm a twelve year old girl and need cash...fast.
I owe:
$29 to my mom for not returning books borrowed from the library using her card
$6 more to my mom for breaking her compact powder (I'm clumsy)
$10.65 to library for books not returned
I also need a lot of extra cash because we're taking a trip in five days. My mom deprived me of $50 (birthday money I just got yesterday) because of the $35 I owe her. Add in all those expenses and that leaves me with... negative $90.35. ( I have $5) I also need to buy summer clothes (my closet is full of sweatshirts and long pants). Help!!!!!!! :(
I'm all for parents teaching their children to have respect for money and teaching them how to handle money. From what you have written here there is something not right going on. What have you left out?
First what is the -$90.35 all about? Why and how do you owe this to your mom. How does you mom expect you to pay these sums back to her as you are only 12 and cannot legally hold a job or even baby sit in most states?
As a parent I am legally responsible for my children's debts, all of that you listed except the broken compact, as well as clothing , feeding and housing my children. Just what is it your mother is providing for you? What does she expect for you to provide for yourself and how does she expect you to pay for those things?
If you can write back and answer those questions I may be able to give you some advice as to what you should do.
how do you know were your hymen is? How would you find out if you broke it or not?
This article may help you
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen
I had an interview today for an internship I found on craigslist. However, when I arrived at the given address, the location turned out to be in some extremely shady apartment building. Nobody even answered or buzzed me in when I rang the bell. So, naturally, I went home.
They sent me an email 30 minutes after my interview time asking where I was, and I still haven't replied. What is the polite way of saying that I went home because nobody answered and I'm not interested in the job anymore?
I agree with the others and see no reason to reply to the emails. Something is not right here. Employers, especially today usually have more candidates for a position and take no interest if one fails to show up for an interview.
This does peek my concern though for the safety of others. I would suggest that you contact your local police and advise them of what you have told us. They may wish to investigate.
I really want to die please can you help me find a fast painless way to do so I have been thinking about this for 2months and I am very sure.
No one on this site is going to advise you on how to commit suicide. If you are feeling suicidal at this time call 911 NOW or go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for help.
Suicide is not the answer to your problem(s). If you have not already done so I would like you to call the National Suicide hot line. There number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They operate 24/7 and are totally free and confidential. They have a network of crisis center around the country they can refer you to for help, probably one right in your home town or close to you. The call takers are trained professionals who are volunteers and are there to help you; so please give them a call, they can and will help you through this.
Please call the hot line I recommended above. If you feel like hurting yourself before you can get to someone that can help you please call 911. Tell the call taker how you are feeling, they will send help. The normal response is to send both Fire Rescue and the Police. Do not be afraid, the call taker will most likely want to stay on the phone with you until help arrives. The police are there to protect you and the others not to harm you or arrest you. The fire rescue people are there to take care of you and to take you to the hospital.
You do not say what is bothering you to cause you to think of suicide. Whatever it is it CAN BE RECTIFIED or mitigated that I am certain of. Please call the hotline or go to the hospital for help. I know there are people who love you and would miss you if you were to do this.
If nothing else please remember this: There are people that love you. Your parents love you and four people who have never met you have taken the time to write to you to convince you that hurting yourself is not the answer and ask you to seek help for whatever is causing you to feel this way.
i recently gained about 10-15 pounds. i started a diet 06/23
i restrict my calorie intake to 1,000 or lower. usually lower.
and i walk A LOT,and if i havnt walked a lot that day ill do the treadmill for 35-40 min. i also do at least 5o crunches a night, every night.
when should i see results? it is now 06/28
and i know a lot of time hasnt passed but i am so desperate for results.
i am use to starvation diets where you see results really fast. this is the first time i am not doing a starvation diet.
thank you!
When people write and ask about diet and diet plans if they, like you, are looking to loose a significant amount of weight. I always suggest doing a weight loss program the right way. Your 1000 calorie diet plan is the wrong way. It not only may do you harm but it is not a way to diet and be successful at keeping the weight you lose off.
A successful diet plan starts with a visit to your doctor for a physical and to find out from your doctor what you optimum weight range should be for your height, body frame and age. With this knowledge you can then seek the advice of a nutritionist to help with meal planning that will allow you to loose weight properly then maintain that weight loss. Proper exercise is also important and while most people do not need advise of a personal trainer, for the amount of weight you wish to loose. It never hurts to seek advise on how to properly exercise.
On a proper diet you can expect to loose 3 pounds a week. This allows your body to properly adjust to weight loss and to a lower caloric intake to maintain the weight loss. Fad diets do not allow for this and place a strain on your body. Diet properly and you will not only lose the weight you want; you have a better chance of keeping the weight off.
Okay here's the scoop. Ever since I've gotten done with my last class, I've been working nonstop basically ever since.. Pick up a couple hrs here with this client, a few here.. Before I know it, forty hours a wk here, and after that fifty.. Now I got a second job over the summer, for some occasions. Well that lady is upset because I can't work work forth of july weekend. However she asked me to work for her! I told her I'd help her when I could.. Then the lady I take care of right now asked me to be there friday and monday when i work for the other one on wednesday... Easily this will amount to about 48 hours since the shifts are usually about 12 hours or more long. Now, my aunt has this other man with Alzheimer's she wants me to pick up a few shifts with.. Then this one man actually stopped me to ask me how much I charge when I was taking care of the lady I take care of on a regular basis.. I know I shouldn't be complaining. A lot of people want a job, and can't get one.. But then again a lot of people don't actually enjoy there "boring" time. I treasure those moments every time I get them. The problem is... I'm really started to feel all this stress taking over me emotionally & physically..... I have a vacation scheduled, and asked off for it months in advance. However they want me to hurry up and get back... I love my job, but I'm starting to feel way to much pressure. I don't need the money that, that bad... I live with my parents and don't have to pay rent or anything. All I need is money for my car insurance, gas, and phone bill. Any tips on reducing stress? Being able to say no without feeling guilty? I'm freakin out here & in way over my head.. Please! A WORD OF ADVICE!!
You must be very good at what you do to be that much in demand; for that you should be very proud of yourself.
Saying no is both the hardest and easiest thing to do. In your case I would suggest instead of just saying no; instead when asked for your services your reply be something as follows: "My schedule is full at this time I would be happy to put you on my waiting list for when I have an opening." In this way your are not truly saying no, your just saying your not available. It is the same thing but a little softer. It also allows you to keep and maintain your schedule as you desire. People understand when a professional tells them that they do not have an opening at a particular time. .
For current clients that want extra time or service you simply have to learn to say that this extra time or service cost extra. You cannot allow people to take advantage of you. When asked to provide extra services or give extra time you must learn to say something like the following: "Mrs. Smith I can make the time available to you but this is not part of our agreement, as such I will have to charge extra for this at the rate of X dollars per hour or a flat rate if you chose.
I may be reading into this some but I am getting the feeling you are somewhat young and people may be taking advantage of your youth and enthusiasm to succeed and serve. Nothing wrong with wanting your business to succeed; being taken advantage of will lead to burnout and your business will fail.
You need to set a work schedule and stick to it. This may mean cutting back on the hours you are presently give to existing clients. If so you must give them plenty of notice. I would suggest 30 days as this will give them time to make alternate arrangements. As for additional services charge extra for those. Your charge should be 1 1/2 to 2 times your normal charge for the service or time.
If you do not have a written agreement with your clients you need to start writing a contract of service with them (this is for new and existing clients). This is the professional way of doing business. Your contract of service should outline each service you provide and the cost of that service. What days you will provide that service, what hours you will be at that clients home and anything else the client asks of you that you agree is the basic part of your agreement. Then when your asked to provide an additional service, day or time you have a legal basis to charge extra.
By running your business in a professional manner you can set a schedule. Not feel obligated to provide an extra service or time not contract for, have legitimate reasons for saying no and most importantly setting aside time for yourself.
I am from Kentucky. I used to date this guy named Braiden three years ago. We broke up because we couldn't get along and we were both too immature for a relationship at that point. However now he is in Afghanistan and we have both matured considerably since then. So we reconnected and decided that we still liked each other. I thought we were back on track and maybe going to talk about getting back together. The next thing I know he is in a relationship with another woman. When I asked him about it he said that he does not know what he wants. Then I decided to move on and see other people. He found out about it and got really angry. He said that if I loved him I would not be with anyone else yet he is still with another woman. He keeps saying he is going to leave her but he never does. Am I a fool to wait around? Why is he doing this?
This is an unusual question to answer. If your friend was home with you and asking this of you I would say tell him to go to h-ll. He is not at home, he is in a war zone and this does make a difference. If the women he is dating is a citizen of the country he is in or a member of one of the services fighting there that needs to be factored in as those romances never or rarely out live the deployment.
Alone in a war zone, not knowing what tomorrow will bring or if there will be a tomorrow you take your pleasure where and when you can find it. Is this right? Should you be angry? Is it right for him to ask you to be chaste and wait for him?
The answers are probably not, yes you should be and probably not. I know not real answers but this is a surreal situation. There is one part to of the equation missing for me to make a better answer. Who is this women and where is she.
Your situations are entirely different. No matter what he says he has to be scared, he is not in a safe place and all soldiers get lonely, especially when they are scared and in harms way. You on the other hand are safe and just lonely.
You have every right to be upset with him. Though by understanding his situation you may be able to temper your anger some. For either to ask the other to wait and be chaste is probably wrong as you are neither married or engaged to each other.
I don't have an answer to give you. All I can do is suggest you put everything in perspective and then decide what is best for you.
17/f
so i've had this problem for as long as i can remember. i over think EVERYTHING and always make things a bigger deal than they really are, or even make up things and convince myself that they're real- mostly health related. sometimes i'll over think things SO much that ill have like a panic attack and just start freaking out. i'm so sick of freaking out about things and being anxious, i want to enjoy life and get this under control, especially cause ill be going to college in the fall. also if anyone knows of any simple stress relievers that would help too. thank you!!
Panic are a real problem. I suffered with them as a child and as an adult. It took a life threatening auto accident for me to find out that the panic attacks were tied to a mild case of depression. My depression got worse and really manifested it self after the accident.
To find out if this is the root cause of your panic attacks you need to speak with your doctor and asked to be screened for depression. Don't get upset over the word depression. Most depression is caused by an imbalance in hormones or enzymes secreted in the brain to manage depression. Medical doctors routinely refer patients who they screen for depression to psychiatrists for treatment because they are better trained to treat depression. Unlike a psychologist a psychiatrist is an MD with specialized training psychiatry and can write prescriptions for medication when and if needed.
My advise is to ask your doctor to screen you for depression. Then follow the doctors advice.
I am on birth control and I have been for about 5 years. I got on it because I used to get my period every 20 days and it would last 8 days and would make me miserable, and my birth control does wonders for me. Normally I am only on my period for about 4 days and I only get cramps the first 1 or 2 days. However, recently my periods have been regular, and nothing has changed, but in between my periods I seem to be having like a mini period. I get cramps, and my back hurts just like I am on my period, and I have a slight flow. I just dont understnad why this is happening. do I need to switch birth controls? is this something i should see my doctor about? I take my piils every day at about the same time.
thanks!
This is one of those question that only a (your) doctor can answer. Since none of us our doctors we can not offer medical advise or make diagnoses.
I'm sure some of the women on this forum can offer you same person experiences. Please understand that your body is different from theirs. What is happening to you and what may have happened to them may very well be different and have different causes and effects. Only a doctor can give you a definitive answer for medical problems.
what's the right age to use vibrator ..?
Frankly what is the right age as to when to use a vibrator; I don't know. What I do know is: To obtain a vibrator legally you need to be either 18 or 21 depending on the laws in your state or the policy of the establishment you are trying to purchase from.
As to a specific age as to when or you could or should start using a vibrator? I really doubt that there is a specific age. I do agree with the first adviser that you first have to get to know your own body. You do that with self-exploration using your hands and masturbating. At some point you will know when you might want a vibrator.
Im 25 abt to be 26 in Aug, I have 2 small kids, ever since I started my periods when I was 11 they have been reg. and they were usually 7dys and diff flows depending on the day. Up until I had my kids of course even aft. Both of my kids they went right back to a reg. time frame well after my daughter I went on the mirana well my periods went to spotting every month and instead of a period I would get the spotting with a yeast infection so we took it out. Aft. That we decided we weren’t going to have anymore and I got my tubes tied in the beginning of sep 2009 at first my periods were reg. but then I would miss one here and there and it just got worse now I havent had one since feb but every month I will have all the signs and symptoms of my period, the cramping, acne, back aches etc. My dr. is waiting till the middle of aug to do anything she said I shouldn’t worry till its been 6 months but I am since my family has a high family history of cancers down there on both sides of the family. I would just like some help.
Up until I read the next to last sentence of your letter I had a different suggestion I was going to make to you. Given the history of Cancer in your family the only proper suggestion is to get a second opinion from a different doctor.
Having just gone through a breast cancer situation with my wife, with a very fortunate out come. I am now of the belief that we know our bodies best. If we have any reason to doubt your doctors diagnoses you need to seek a second opinion. Most if not all insurance companies will pay for second opinions. They would rather do that and catch something early, than have the expense of a protracted illness.
See another doctor. Get another pap smear, ask for it to be sent to a different lab then the first lab. Ask the second doctor about an MRI or sonogram. I'm not sure if either of these are appropriate. I only suggest this as my wife's cancer was found so early that one of the tumors was so small it was not found by palpation or x ray. It was found on the MRI and then locatable by sonogram. This made a difference in how she was treated.
If you should need surgery don't be afraid to vet your surgeon. I looked and look up all of our specialist on line to see their medical history. I try to choose those doctors with the best medical backgrounds that I can. So far our insurance company had not refused any doctor we have chosen.
Find another doctor and get a second opinion.
Well I am 13. I am a girl. No this is not period cramps because first I dont them and this isnt where I would get my cramps so dont suggest it is my period. I have this weird pain in my belly button. It was a lot worse yesterday. It hurts when I move, bend, stretch, and laugh. Its like in my belly button (I am an innie, dont know how to spell that)and in a thin line around it. It hurts to touch. Yesterday when it was a little worse I looked at it and it was kinda pinky red but not swollen. I tried looking it up but all I found were people asking about their gross pussy belly buttons and apendicitis. So please help do you have any idea what this is?
First: This is the type of question you should be going to your parents with. This is not a question about sex. This is a question about pain and or sickness. Even if it was menstrual pain; menstrual pain is a normal body function that mom is well aware of and so is your dad.
Second: None of us are doctors; as such we cannot make a diagnoses. Even if we were doctors we could not make a proper diagnoses over the web. You need to see a doctor. If this is an appendix problem you need to see the doctor asap before it bursts and you are in real trouble. Mom or dad needs to take you to the doctor or Hospital emergency room now. So talk to them NOW.
As parent we are responsible for your well being. When it comes to things like aches and pains we need to know about them so we can see to it that you get proper medical treatment. This is parenting 101.
So tell mom and dad you need to see a doctor . Do it NOW.
so.. my friend and i had sex but not to the point where my cherry was broke & im not shure if he "got excited" in me or not.. if he did.. is it possible for me to get pregnant?
YES!! If he came in you or had any type of pre-cum release it is possible that the sperm released in the precum or his climax made you pregnant.
The fact that he did not break you "Cherry" has nothing to do with it. Some hymens are very elastic and stretch which means your boyfriend could have pushed yours a side or even through the hole in yours.
You don't say how old you are so my advice is as follows. If you are not old enough to accept the responsibilities of the possible results of sex then you are to young to be having sex. When you are old enough to accept the responsibilities of having sex but do not want to get pregnant you and you boyfriend should take responsibility for proper birth control.
i lost my virginity when i was 13 with my first ex boyfriend. at first i was afraid of doing that act, but he really wanted to do it with me.. i couldnt resist him because i love him. so we had sex. we did it 3 times. but then i broke up with him. because i felt he really did not love me and he's just using me. i regret of letting him use me:( now i can't resist having sex with boys i like. at the age of 17 i already had 11 sex experiences. i always regret when i think about it. im so sad, i think im a slut but i dont want to accept it. im so sad:( i dont know what to do.. im afraid and hate to accept than no other guys would love me because of these past experiences. i wanna die :((((((((((((((
First; Stop thinking of yourself as a slut. There is truly no such thing as a slut. This word came to be a long time a go and has stuck as a derogatory was to refer to girls/women who were whores or slept around in exchange for things other than money. You may have started very young, maybe to young. That was a mistake; it does not make you a slut.
Your current group of friends, high school friends, will most likely not be your life long friends. When high school is over you will all start new lives in College, the military or a working life. This will send many of you off in all points of the compass to experience new beginnings and make new friends.
Now I am old enough to be your grandfather. When I was your age there were very few girls in college that arrived their virgins and even fewer if any that left college virgins.
Your life after high school gives you a second chance at how you present yourself to the world. If you are going on to college you will have a whole new social dynamic to deal with even if it is your local community college. No you do not get your virginity back but you do get a chance to repair your high school reputation by being more selective in your dating and sexual habits.
My advise is you forget about the word slut. As far as I'm concerned the word should not exist. When you go off to college, if that is where your headed. You will meet boys with the same thing on their minds as they had in high school. Just remember there is a difference between lust and love. Be more selective and look for older students who know the difference between lust and love.
I'm 20/F
Just did a general transfer study major in a community college, I graduate in December. It's time to pick the rest of my life, and I'm overwhelmed.
I want to major in pathology and be a coroner for the rest of my life. I live in Missouri, and initially I was set on going to Missouri State University, and now I'm not so impressed with their major programs, as there isn't one for pathology, but rather criminology being the closest related.
I'm a good student, and I'm not afraid of living away from home, but I rather stay closer to home. (Missouri, Illinois, Iowa, Indiana) ect.
Any suggestions on how I can start to achieve my life goal of majoring in pathology.
A family friend had a similar problem when he wanted to be an undertaker. He had trouble finding a school that would offer the degree he needed to meet the licensing requirements.
There are many different types of pathologists including the corner who also, is usually the medical examiner and a licensed doctor as well. Depending on the type of pathologist you wish to be will depend on the type of program you need to complete.
I will make the same suggestion to you that I made to the family friend. Find a pathologist of the type you wish to become. Ask if you can job follow or shadow for a few days to assure yourself that this is the career path you wish to follow. While job shadowing ask where he, she or others in the organization received or applied to for their educations. Then look to see if those institutions still offer those course.
I'm a 15 year old girl and I feel fat basically. Yeah, I know I sound like most girls my age but the thing is I know I'm not fat, if that makes sense.
My family often crack jokes about me being fat because I'm a size 12 verging on a size 14, but they always deny it afterwards.
I'll accept this and often laugh it off though I'll later find myself analyzing what they've said and agreeing with it.
I eat way more than I should anyway but sometimes I only do it cause I'm bored. Like I'll just be sitting around doing nothing in particular and then I'll think of food and all of a sudden I have to have it and I will go eat.
I don't exercise often due to the fact that I'm quite lazy and I'm asthmatic.
Sometimes I'll tell myself in my head that I'm fat and that that's why guys don't want to date me. But the thing is it's not a little voice in my head, it's me and I can control it but I don't, I just do it anyway.
Then recently my siblings have being going on about how I need thinspiration and how I should be thinspiration on what not to look like cause I'm so fat.
Occasionally I'll consider making myself sick just to lose weight but then I back out because I think 'what if someone heard/found me?' and also because I know how much damage doing that does to your body and teeth.
First: I think it is wrong of your family, parents and siblings to tease you about your weight. Second: Unless your doctor has said something to you about your weight I would not be too concerned.
Sure all 15 year old girls would like to look like runway models; it just isn't going to happen and half if not all those girls have serious eating disorders or are way under weight. The photo's themselves are also overly retouched by photo artists to give the customer the picture they want to sell whatever it is they are selling.
Before I retired I had several motto's I used to live by. As a salesman for most of my working life I needed some type of daily inspiration to motivate myself. One of my motto's that you might wish to adopted is this one: "The only person I need to be better than is the person I am today."
What that means is never listen to what others think or what others say who they may be better than you. People whose' sales where not near as good as mine where always telling me I should do things there way or the company way. I was comfortable with who I was and how I did things and it showed in my sales reports. My goal was to be better and do better tomorrow than I was today.
If you are comfortable with how and what you are, then don't listen or worry about what other people say. Sure you could loose a few pounds a IF YOU WANT TO. Your doctor is the best person to ask if YOU NEED TOO.
If you were a size 16, 18 or larger I might be answering this differently. Especially because of the weight impact on your asthma. As long as you and your doctor a comfortable with your weight, just pretend to be a duck and let the remarks roll of you back as water rolls off a ducks back.
My mom and I have always had a friend relationship and she has always left me for someother guy and doesn't ask to see me that much and she alway text me about her life and hardly asks about mine and just a few days ago me and her got in a fight and she cused at me calling me a B**** and that I was a spoild little brat and all I said is that I was made cus she left and has non of her kids and she still calls herself a mom and she always lied to me and tryed to play it off and i am feed up with it is it ok to hate your mom for all the shit she has put me in? Please help the more help I get the better.
Your question is; Is it okay to hate your mother?
It would help to know your age in answering your question as it would give me some perspective. Am I correct that mom walked out on you, your dad and siblings.
If so I could understand your felling of dislike and even a form of hatred towards your mom. Like everything else in life hatred comes with different degrees. Do you hate your mom to the point you no longer love her as you mom? If so, based on what you have written I would say that is wrong.
From what you wrote; "My mom and I have always had a friend relationship and she has always left me for some other guy and doesn't ask to see me that much," I can see a little bit of jealousy in that mom does not have the time you want from her. Mom is also wrong to call you names because you are demanding more time from her than she has or wants to devote to you. Here again knowing your age would help in answering you.
Yes you can hate your mother or any other loved one. But you should never stop loving them unless they have done something so aggrieves that you can no longer love the. I do not see such an aggrieves hurt in what you have written.