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Me and my mom have problems
My mom and I have always had a friend relationship and she has always left me for someother guy and doesn't ask to see me that much and she alway text me about her life and hardly asks about mine and just a few days ago me and her got in a fight and she cused at me calling me a B**** and that I was a spoild little brat and all I said is that I was made cus she left and has non of her kids and she still calls herself a mom and she always lied to me and tryed to play it off and i am feed up with it is it ok to hate your mom for all the shit she has put me in? Please help the more help I get the better.
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Okay the thing is you are holding a grudge for I am assuming has been quite awhile. Truth is holding this grudge doesn't hurt your mom or her life at all, her life is going to go on. The only person who is affected by this grudge is going to be you. You may not think that now but it does affect you in the long run. The best way to solve this is to forgive her. I know you may read this and be like how can I forgive her after all that she has done? Well until you forgive her you can't move on with your life. You will just be going through the same circle of hatred. It can be hard to forgive sometimes and it might take a while but trust me it feels really good to forgive someone that has affected your life so greatly. It feels like you can finally move one with your life and be free from hatred for that person. Hope I helped!
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In this life you only get one mom. Other people can try to fill that role but the heart will always ache for the real thing. Do you have the right to hate her...yes. But because of who she is you have to respect her. Should she be calling you a bitch or anything else other than your name...hell no. She sounds like she has a lot to work out within HERSELF. And it's not your position to try to fix a grown @ss woman. Maybe she's dealing with some esteem issues of her own especially since so many men seem to be in and out of her life.
What kind of upbringing did your mom have? Was your grandmother there for her or did she have a good female roll model to show her how to be a parent? I didn't and because of that my kids suffered to some extinct.
Love her and respect her but it sounds like until she grows up herself, she can't give you what you need and deserve.
Hope that helps...
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well she is your mom and you should try to respect her no matter what.
if i was in your position i would bring my mom out to dinner or something and talk everything over but dont tell or give additude because it will fuel the fire even mmore.
tell her how you really feel and dont make a joke about it. have good points on what you want to talk about, but no matter how much you talk you can NEVER change a person, be respectful and tell her how you feel.
i hope everything goes well, good luck!(:
maybe say something like this to her:
“The word “mommy” is not defined by whether or not a woman has a biological child. You can never produce a child and be a mommy, likewise you can have 20 kids and never be a “mommy.” A mommy is a woman who cares for a child’s both physical and emotional needs ahead of her own. A true mommy is hard to come by, but a truly special thing.”
i know i dont have much on this but i hope i helped, good luck!(:
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My mom and i don't agree on almost anything. Even though she has kinda kept me away from my dad for the past 13 years or so i do not hate her. I do get mad about it, but it isn't worth hating her.
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Your question is; Is it okay to hate your mother?
It would help to know your age in answering your question as it would give me some perspective. Am I correct that mom walked out on you, your dad and siblings.
If so I could understand your felling of dislike and even a form of hatred towards your mom. Like everything else in life hatred comes with different degrees. Do you hate your mom to the point you no longer love her as you mom? If so, based on what you have written I would say that is wrong.
From what you wrote; "My mom and I have always had a friend relationship and she has always left me for some other guy and doesn't ask to see me that much," I can see a little bit of jealousy in that mom does not have the time you want from her. Mom is also wrong to call you names because you are demanding more time from her than she has or wants to devote to you. Here again knowing your age would help in answering you.
Yes you can hate your mother or any other loved one. But you should never stop loving them unless they have done something so aggrieves that you can no longer love the. I do not see such an aggrieves hurt in what you have written.
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Without knowing how old you are it's difficult to respond. If you are old enough to look after yourself then your mom has every right to pursue relationships with men without feeling like she is abandoning you. Even in a friendship and not a mother/child relationship, each friend needs to be able to have partners without jealousy from the other friend.
At the same time she should be taking more of an interest in you and your life so you need to talk to her about this in a calm and reasonable manner. Tell you how you feel without accusing her, say that you feel she has abandoned you and that you are hurt when she doesn't ask after you.
These kinds of arguments have a tendency to fester over time so the sooner you say something the better. She may have no idea the effect she is having on you. If that doesn't work then it may be good to take a break from talking to her for a while.
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From what I can tell through your response your Mother seems like she hasn't grown up at all. Thinking that she is your friend, and not your Mother. It's interesting because what I have noticed through people of that sort, they act like a friend when they don't want to accept responsibility than they act like your Mother so you will listen to them, thus something is benefiting them from their perception. The obvious answer is confronting your Mother about your relationship with her, although try to avoid conflict.
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