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Not sure if I was sexually abused
I'm feeling ashamed of myself, because I've been thinking that I may have been sexually "abused" as a child. My father is an alcoholic & is a violent & careless person when he drinks. I am the youngest and only girl. When I was younger than 8, my dad would watch soft-core porn while I was in the room. Sometimes he would make me put my blanket over my head. Typically, I was in a different seat than him, so he wasn't touching me. My dad has always been blunt and open about sex or sexuality to us kids. Once when I was in bed between my parents after a nightmare, he reached over and squeezed where I would have breasts had I been old enough & squeezed my vagina. Not sure if he was asleep or not, but it scared me badly. He's always made comments about my breasts, even when I didn't have any. I had a recurring nightmare as a child of being sexually molested by a teenage boy in a public setting. I have a lot of anxiety issues, suffered from severe depression, & have had suicidal thoughts since I was in elementary school.
I'm extremely ashamed of myself for even considering that I may have been sexually abused as a child. I know my dad loves me and wouldn't be upset to be accused of such a thing. I have sexual problems & have always had major self-esteeem issues. I don't want to think that I was sexually abused if I wasn't. I don't know that I was touched or assaulted and most of this happened before my 8th birthday. I am now 30. I was date raped by an acquaitance in my own home when I was 22.
Does it sound like legitimate abuse, or am I just being too sensitive? I don't want to belittle legitimate abuse by making an accusation when it's not really abuse. I appreciate genuine, thoughtful responses.
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I am so sorry to hear this... You were such a young girl when this happened.. Your dad touching you like that is molestation... Obviously this is hurting you and effecting you. My advice to you is go do some counceling you need to talk about it and find methods to cope... best of luck to you
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Where you sexually abused as a child? I believe so. As to the date rape the statue of limitations may have run out on this after 8 years. You would need to check with the local police.
Because of what you have written and because of how you say you are feeling. I can see you are not dealing well at all with these traumatic experiences on your own. There is a place you can turn to for help, which is confidential.
I would like you to call an organization called RAINN which stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. They operate a 24/7 National hotline staffed by Trained Professionals who can help you meet professional in you area who can help you deal with theses' traumas.
No one should have to live with what happened to you. Neither should you feel embarrassed or ashamed by what has happened as you are not at fault for this. Neither is it a sign of weakness to ask for help. These type of traumas never truly go away though you can learn to live with them and lead a normal life. Learning to live with this is something that requires help.
So please call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE and start on the rode to recovery.
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no, you are NOT being overly sensitive! he touched you inappropriately, and exposed you to material that's age-inappropriate in an irresponsible way, that's abuse even if it hadn't had the effect on you that it did. unwanted touching (touching your vagina and breast), sexually suggestive statements (talking about your breasts) and exposing a child to pornography all count as molestation or sexual assult. and it's not just some legal formality - it's because children are really affected by those things, as you seem to have been. even ignoring the official definition of sexual assult and molestation, just think about the fact that if you feel that you're still affected by those things, then obviously something was really, really wrong.
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