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"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love" - Albus DumbledoreHi, I'm Laura. I'm a senior in college & I'm slowly deciding what I want to do with my life. I love Harry Potter, coffee, writing, and sleeping (amongst other things). I'll never claim to know everything, but I'm confident in my ability to help people with their problems. Feel free to send me an inbox question; I'll get back to you!
A few thoughts I've gathered from my teenage years (and being on this site for most of them!):
1. If you Google song lyrics, the song will come up 99% of the time.
2. Dress to fit your body type, and buy the size that fits. If you're a size 6, squeezing into a 4 won't make you look skinnier. It makes you look fat when you aren't.
3. You will never regret waiting to lose your virginity.
4. There is such a thing as a stupid question, but we're all allowed to ask them.
BU 2014 :)
wicked awesome conversations
^my forum, liven it up a little?
advice
I was babysitting my cousin all last week becouse my cousin died so that my other cousin could go to her brothers funeral and she paid me $20.00 and i tried not to take it but she insisted that i did so i took the money and now i feel guilty what should i do?
I know it's a couple days late, but maybe you could donate the money to charity.
That way you wouldn't have to deal with giving it back and possibly offending them, or the guilt of keeping the money.
so i like sex...like a lot. in the dark, in the light, upside down, in a trashcan, on the street, in my parents bed, with multiple people.... like 6 or 7...at one time. i really like it up the ass, or in the vag, you know whatever i can get! my fuck buddy jose says i have a problem.. but i think its totally normal.. idk! so what do you think should i like make this into a business or idk can you think of any other ways to get money from my passion. i mean my parents always told me to do what i belive is my true calling for my career and they are totally supporting me on this descision, my dad called from jail yesterday and he said i had a hot bod and too use it! what do you think!!! ` love, star
age 12
female
I am really and truly hoping that this is a joke.
For one, you're twelve years old. You're supposed to be a kid, not a child prostitute. Jeez.
I'd advise you NOT to make this into a business. Honestly it's not normal for you to think that your true calling for anthing, especially a career, is sex anytime, anywhere, with anyone. Get yourself some professional help, soon. Go to an aunt, uncle, or neighbor that you can trust. And get yourself tested for who knows how many diseases you could have.
But this is so ridiculous I'm certain it's not real. Please don't waste our time/bandwidth.
Alright, well my boyfriend is out of town for a week (From wednesday June 25 til wednesday July 2) and I think im going to go insane. I mean I do everything with him. I dont really hang out with my girlfriends anymore and we dont really have anything to talk about. So my question is does anyone have any ideas about what I can to to keep busy? I work tomorrow (Thursday June 26), Friday (June 27), Next monday (June 30) and wednesday (July 2) but I only work from 4:30am til 2:30pm so I have from about 2:30 til 10 or 11 with nothing to do. Not to mention the days I have off. I live in a little town where there is pretty much NOTHING to do. So Im kinda limited not to mention I dont have much cash. So any ideas would be greatly appreciated!!
Thanks so much!!!
Hang out with the friends you've been ignoring. It's not healthy to let other relationships suffer like this. Make plans to hang out at someone's house- that way you can save money and just watch movies/play games you already have.
Or if you want to instead abandon your friends for the week, you could clean your room, establish a new exercise program, learn how to cross-stitch, knit socks, read a book (or five),memorize Pi, give yourself a makeover, discover the meaning of life, befriend a hobo and teach him a life skill, volunteer, or help around the house.
But in all seriousness, your boyfriend shouldn't be the only person you hang out with; there's nothing wrong with spending a lot of time together but honestly it's not healthy to never be apart. Missing someone is normal. Try hanging out in a group of friends if you can't bear to part with him for a few hours, just yet. I'm not trying to insult you here, I'm trying to help you out.
-LM
[16/f]
okay so my softball team is going to florida in about a week. i'm due for my period sometime between this week and next week, i really don't want to get it for that because i don't wear tampons and i won't be able to go the beach and pool and stuff with the other girls and i just won't have a good time :[ so my question is, is there any POSSIBLE way for me to either make my period come faster or postpone it until after? and is it also true that when your in the water you don't bleed because i heard one of my friends say that. thanks soo much!
P.S. im not gonna go on birthcontrol because it makes you gain weight and my mom would suspect i'm pregnant or something, which im not.
16/f
You're a bit misinformed about birth control; it doesn't always cause weight gain and it wouldn't regulate your period this quickly anyways.
There isn't much you can do besides maybe exercise a bit more than usual, since extra physical activity, as well as stress, can delay a period.
Otherwise you'll be stuck changing your pad a lot to be comfortable. Your period doesn't actually stop when you're in the water, and even if it did, what do you think happens once you get out? You'd have to use tampons more likely than not; there's "slim fit" tampons if you decide to give them a try.
the website myxertones no longer delivers ring tones to verizon phones but they have an alternate way of saving the file and sending it to your phone through email. i tried about 7 times and every time i do the ring tone doesn't send i just get a blank picture message. help!?
The other method just plain doesn't work. I've tried it many times. Try using phonezoo.com
What are some cool online stores that sell cute clothes? Stuff along the lines of Forever21, Delias, or whatever...
www.Alloy.com
www.CharlotteRusse.com
www.ae.com
www.kohls.com
Ok im NOTTTT a girlie girll..
AT ALL
im tom boy tom boy...
and well i wanna get hollister...abercrombie...dear by amanda...
ALOT of stuff..
And well im like nOOOO
shoiuld i i mean there stuff is really cutee..
and idk..
Helpp?
Introduce new clothing to your wardrobe gradually.
I used to be like you, I'd throw on clothes and not care how I looked at all. Now I'm a lot more aware about how I look, and I look at shopping/getting dressed as a fun thing to do. At least sometimes, I don't get too obsessive about it, and occassionally I'm guilty of wearing a shirt I find crumped on the floor, haha.
Anyways. Try pairing a cute tank top or shirt with jeans you already have. You'll be in your old jeans, so you won't be stepping completely out of your comfort zone. Also, you don't have to go all-out girly, there's more to being "girly" than the color pink or a totally new closet.
Something as simple as a more fitted shirt can change your look, too. Especially if you're currently living in loose t-shirts.
http://www.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?catId=cat90092&productId=0303_3669
Layering is also relatively simple, and adds a splash of color.
Virtually every store you walk into these days sells lacy camis, tank tops, you name it. If you're not so sure about them, Kohl's sells them VERY cheaply, or go for clearance.
http://www.ae.com/web/browse/category_feature_item.jsp?catId=cat380157
It may sound ridiculous, but consider getting a few cute bra and underwear sets. What you wear underneath can really make a difference. Other things to consider: a subtle change in your hairstyle (like an off-center part), new perfume, exfoliating for softer skin, a new necklace.
Good luck with your new style!
-LM
[16/f]
i recently got a body wave perm.
my hair is a bit shorter, and im not as happy as i expected.
i bought this spray that will make my hair curlier - its a bedhead product, and i bought this kerastase product that makes curls healthier and last longer, which i put once a week.
i have a few questions.
1. right after i take a shower - will my hair look wavy/curly?
2. if it is wavy/curly after i take a shower, what difference woudl it make if i dried it myself with a blow dryer/or let it dry by itself.
3.what happens if i straighten it with a straightener?
4. i just got my perm this morning, and i cant wash it till friday, but will my curls/waves eventually get wavier and wavier?
5. why cant i wash my hair after getting a perm?
1. No. It'll probably have more body than you're used to, but freshly washed hair is typically more straight than anything.
2. Letting it dry by itself will bring out the natural [or newly-permed] texture of your hair. Blowdrying could easily kill the curl/wave you have, especially if you don't use a diffuser.
3. Your hair will be straight if you striaghten it. It might not stay pin-straight due to summer weather and the new-ness of the perm, but it'll be relatively straight.
4. Perms "relax" over time. My mom used to get her hair permed, and it'd always start as cute ringlets and end as these gorgeous waves. As it grows out you'll have a different texture, so have fun playing with your new style[s]
5. You can't wash your hair for many reasons, some of which I don't know. For starters, your hair is very dry right now because of all the chemicals, and the natural oils in your hair help repair it. Also, washing too soon could un-evenly remove the chemicals from your hair and mess up the perm style. So follow the instructions you were given.
I'm assuming the first answer here is you adding additional information. Spraying perfume in your hair is totally fine, I do that all the time. Since you'll feel inclined to use a LOT, try using a body splash/mist instead, so it's less overpowering and can be used more frequently.
You can style your hair almost any way you want. After you start washing it again, it'll be just like curly or wavy hair, so Google away for hairstyles, or ask friends for ideas. Wikihow.com is am amazing resource for hairstyling advice.
-LM
[16/f]
i frenched kissed once or twice but no for a while- i really want to and have a chance to do it with this really hot guy.
this guy is so intimidatng becasue he has hooked up so many times. i am really scared to kiss him because i am bad probely.
how do u french kiss? DETAIL FOR DETAIL. literally!!!!
i want to make it memerable.
Honestly, you could read a book about it, and you'd probably forget everything once you went in for the kiss.
Explore. Do what feels right. Make it fun, playful, romantic, whatever you want it to be. Don't make it all about jamming your tongue down his throat, and try not to drool all over him, because it's generally less than desireable to do so.
If you come off as confident it'll be a lot more fun. If all evening you're thinking "Oh my gosh, this is going to be bad" you won't enjoy yourself. Follow his lead at first, if you're truly that nervous.
And really, it's almost impossible to find a truly bad kisser. If anything, they might do something you're not used to; give it a chance before you hate it. Who knows, he might be thinking the same thing right now about you!
Over time, you'll develop your own personal style of kissing/making out, and that's not a bad thing. Do whatever feels good/right to you, and gets a positive reaction. For example, some people love a gentle, or less than gentle, bite of the lip, "necking", and other techniques. Like I already said, experiment & make it fun!
From personal experience I'd advise that you brush your teeth and floss, and have some mild mints with you, like TicTacs. Fruity is usually good, and less overpowering. If you're at a party, don't worry too much about what you're eating if you're both eating the same things, but a huge plate of hummus & extra garlic is a bad choice right before kissing =P. That's where mints come in handy for both of you. Casually offer him one if he's been gorging on something stinky.
Further reading and research:
-LM
[16/f]
Well, i have this best friend who is a guy. we met a couple years ago and get along great. he recently asked if it was okay with me if we could be friends with benefits. i like him a lot and so i agreed. neither one of us really wants to date, and we want to see how this goes and maybe we'll hook up later. =]
well, the thing is, i've never really done this before. my question is...are there any kind of "rules" or "establishments" that follows being friends with benefits? i don't understand really how it goes. (and yes i've had bf's before so i'm not completely clueless). the idea is new to me, so i just need some info.
16/f
thanks. :)
Everyone sets their own rules.
You've already established the most important part- neither of you want to date, and you want to see how it goes. A common problem with this setup is that one party wants something more (i.e. a relationship) while the other just wants someone to make out with.
As for what you two do, that's completely your decision to make. Draw the line wherever you want, nothing we say will change your mind if you're set on it already. Keep in mind that if you have sex, one or both of you could easily become a lot more emotionally attached than you intended. Not to mention the risks involved with being sexually active [whether this means intercourse or just oral, there's still risks regardless if your relationship status] Actually, that could happen even if you don't sleep together. Just warning you in advance.
-LM
[16/f]
ok so i have really oily skin but sometimes it gets like dry in other places.... are there any good lotions or face creams to make my face clear without being oily or dry?? thanks!
Classic case of combination skin. You're totally normal. Try my routine (or something similar)
1. Wash entire face, obviously avoiding eyes haha, with a gentle acne control cleanser. Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash (or store-brand equivalent) is absolutely amazing.
2. Apply moisturizer to your entire face, in a very thin layer. It sounds weird moisturizing an oily area, but if you give your skin some moisture, it'll be less likely to produce more oil to compensate, makes sense? Apply extra lotion to dry areas, though. Obviously those parts need it more. For me, this is my jaw and cheek area. There's so many lotions out there to choose from. Pick one you like the smell of, and if you have a certain condtion like excema, use one that won't irritate your skin. Clean and Clear (or again, a store-brand) is relatively inexpensive and lasts a long time.
3. If your skin still seems oily, use an astringent like Sea Breeze or Clean and Clear on those areas only.
Do this one or twice a day. You'll figure out on your own what's best for your skin. Keep in mind that washing too much actually makes oily skin worse, and dry areas flake even more.
-LM
[16/f]
Whats the difference between diet coke and coke zero?
Different sweeteners, therefore a slightly different taste.
Also I read something about Coke Zero being marketed towards people who wanted something less caloric than regular soda, but thought that "diet coke" was too wimpy, or something.
My eyelashes or shorter then the ticks of a ruler and I'm born flat chested so it makes me feel very un-feminin.
I read an article a long time ago that you can make your eyelashes longer with condition and just remembered about it http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Eyelashes-Longer
(it says vaseline on that one).
But if I do try it, I'm scared that I'm nto careful or clumps of it (or the conditioner) will drip into my eye and my eyes are very sensitive. Do you think it's safe for me and that it will effect my eye sight in a negative way if I dont' wash it out completely and som stuff stays in my eye?
You should be fine. When rinsing it off, use a cool, damp facecloth and close your eyes and pat them gently.
Also, try using a clear mascara before bed. There's some types that condition your eyelashes, I'm not sure of the exact brand but if you read the labels you'll find one. I think Loreal makes a double-ended one.
As for being flat-chested, be grateful for what you have (or rather, don't). You can wear low-cut dresses and shirts without looking skanky! Lucky you! If you're still insecure about it, find a good push-up bra with some padding.
-LM
[16/f]
i'm not self conscience about my body, just the only thing im unhappy with is my nose. i'm not like all those other girls who complain to everyone about their nose and fish for complinments..but it is pretty big. and when i present myself, i can't help but thinking about it. sometimes i feel like it limits me to be out there. i also constantly compare myself to other girls just based on their noses.. it sounds pathetic, but it's honestly what goes through my mind a lot. any advice?
Everyone's got flaws they focus on. Most of them aren't even there, or we have such a warped image of ourselves we see a tiny zit and think it's the size of a meatball.
I feel hypocritical talking about self-confidence right now, but do try to take me seriously anyways.
I used to hate my legs. I still do on occassion, but then I'll think "Damn, I am so freaking lucky. I have two legs that are the same length, I can walk anywhere I want, and I'm not a double amputee in a wheelchair" Put things in perspective and be grateful your nose works right. My mom's didn't, and it led to sleep apnea and she needed rhinoplasty in order to breathe.
Also check out that search. Makeup tricks may seem overly obvious, but if it's anything like cream concealer covering acne scars, a little shimmer powder in the right place must be a lifesaver.
-LM
[16/f]
I just found out that i have kp, a very common skin disorder. Does anyone with it have any suggestion on how to keep in under control?
I know that its not curable but anything that helps will do. Thanks :D
Use a lotion that contains Alpha Hydroxy Acid.
Or alpha hydroxy, I don't think there's a difference. Eucerin makes one, I'm in too much pain to go looking in my room for it, but it's something like Advanced Healing, and says right on the front that it has an alpha hydroxy. It comes in both lotion and cream form, the lotion's easier to apply but isn't as moisturizing, and drying of the skin makes it look way worse. And it has a teal-ish cap/pump and it's near the Vaseline/Aquaphor in the lotions aisle.
mmm, alright!
so im a girl, im 14 years old, almost 15 thou (:
anywayssss; i like older boys, like 16, 17, 18, 19.. like that. haha.
i like older boys around that age cause their mature and dont act like lil' boys.
now, the problem is that usually guys that are older like that, that im intrested in usually take me for granted and only think of me for one thing... and im deffinetaly NOT that type of girl.
how do i get guys to take me seriously, and actully get them to want me as a girlfriend?
(: graciass peopel!!
Don't try so hard, plain and simple. If you're limiting yourself to guys in a certain group just because of their age, you could pass up a mature guy your own age just because of his birth certificate.
Get to know guys as friends, not just as potential boyfriends. You'll realize pretty quickly what they're after. Not all of them are looking for "one thing".
My last boyfriend, one of the first things he ever said to me before we even met in person was that sex was a big deal to him and he wasn't just after getting laid. For a long time we had a good relationship because it wasn't all about physical things, there was an emotional connection too.
If you don't run around saying/giving off the impression "Boo waaah I need a boyfriend and he has to be X amount of years old and yadda yadda yadda" the right boy could quite literally fall in your lap. Or you could fall (off a bed) for him.
Good luck!
-LM
[16/f]
Well hello everyone! (:
okay so heres the thing, last summer i fell in love with this boy, who was wonderful, at least in my eyes, hah... well, we were together for a while, an off and on thing, but at the end he broke my heart. he did alot of messed up things, like have girls at his house after or before i left, things like that... but even though all that i still think of him, and i still love him!
he asked me to forgive him & i did.
so now were friends, which is better then not talking.
i wanna be with him again, but its complicated cause... well, im 14 almost 15 and he is 19 and hes in the air force. oh and my parents hate him :x
what should i do?!!?!
should i just forget him?
or should i try to be with him?
and if you think i should try to be with him again, how do i do it?
Thankssss!!! and please help me.
btw; im a girl, im sure you figured that out. hahaha
I wouldn't forget him, but I wouldn't try for a relationship again. He broke your heart AND you'd be illegal if you were to do anything sexual. Plus, your parents probably have a good reason to hate him. The relationship could work sometime in the not-so-near future when you're both older, but if I were you I wouldn't pursue it any further than a friendship.
Being friends with him would be perfectly okay, as long as you're both mature enough to handle the situation. You're going to fall in and out of love/lust/infatuation. It's a part of life, and you have to accept it. And I know how you feel. Except change some ages and subtract the Air Force part, but, same general situation. It gets better with time, and there's more fish in the sea. use a non-seafood metaphor like, there's more shoes in the closet, or grapes in a bunch, if you don't like fish =P Regardless of how you word it, it's cliche, but so true.
-LM
[16/f]
so i already asked a question about dark back and stomach hairs.. and people said to bleach it instead of waxing or shaving, but until i can find a bleaching kit and stuff, do you think it would be ok to just shave it for now, and then bleach the dark hairs after they grow back? thanks a ton!!
A lot of people shave their stomachs... it's not as weird as it might sound. Bleaching works to a degree, but the hair will still be there. If you have a fairly good pain tolerance, consider waxing. Nair has a couple home waxing kits that work fairly well, especially considering they're about $6-11.
Shaving your arms can be really awkward and more noticeable when it grows back stubbly. Another alternative is a depilatory like Nair Pretty.
I keep getting random pimples on my chest and in between my boobs.Any advice on can I get rid of them?
thanks
Treat that skin just like you would your face. Cleance it once or twice daily with a face wash containing salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide. If you later on break out on your shoulders, arms, or back, consider investing in an acne wash for body, otherwise use whatever you have already.
Also, if washing doesn't work [and that might be enough, because sometimes it's just a result of more sweating than in the winter] use a spot treatment and/or toner.
A lot more people have this than you probably realize. If you're really self-conscious about it, and it's preventing you from wearing a bathing suit or lower-cut shirts than a crewneck, dab some concealer, foundation, or powder over the affected area.
-LM
[16/f]
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/50884901.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1939847EC77F5F8D1CE9544DD2F7F663B83A40A659CEC4C8CB6
how would i get a dress like this ^
Shop various dress stores. Check out malls, especially those with a David's Bridal. Also, you could go to a small dress shop. There's one in my town that can custom-tailor or even make a dress from just a picture or idea.
Also, you could look at a thrift store for old prom dresses and the like. Or someone who's good with a needle and thread could make it for you.