Some women take there temperature daily to help find the correct ovulation time, since the body raises a bit in temperature during ovulation. Try to have sex starting seven days after the first day of her period all the way until the sixteenth day. If she has a regular period of 28 days then this will be easier and she likely ovulates around day 14, and days 10-15 will be your best bet. The male sperm are fast swimmers but the female sperm survive longer, so if you are trying for a particular sex, then have sex a few days prior to ovulation for a girl and closer to actual ovulation for a boy. No guarantees! Wear loose underwear and no bike riding for you, you need to keep your guys cool and loose for maximum sperm production and no smoking or unhealthy living for either of you. Eat healthy and lots of protein! There are fertility drops at health food specialty stores some women swear by! She needs to be relaxed, so help her relieve tension and be unstressed by meeting her needs and helping around the house or whatever. If she orgasms during sex it will help pull your sperm up and she can also put her legs up on the bed and help it get to the right place. It can take up to a year, so be patient, especially if she was on the pill or patch.

You are not emotionally dead, and the proof is in your deep concern for hurting your boyfriend's feelings. Some families do not easily express emotions and you were raised not to show them as much as some others do. Everyone has the potential to love, but it takes effort and trust. This is something that is worth looking into, so that you will develop the connections with others you care about on a more intimate and deep level. It may not come natural, because you were not raised in an environment that encouraged you to seek out how you feel and identify those emotions. They are there inside, but they have been blocked and are waiting for the right environment to safely develop. Think of a plant in a small pot. It will only grow so much, because it is limited by its environment. The owner of the plant may care for the plant and water it and give it sunshine, but there just is not room to grow. Once the plant gets transplanted the roots have plenty of room to stretch out and grow. There may be rocks in the soil to work around, and the roots may not know that they are able to grow for a while, but they will eventually with enough encouragement and care. Your emotional roots have every potential to grow and develop as long as you transplant yourself in your mind to a bigger perception of your potential. Trust that though there will be obstacles (rocky soil) to get through, you will get there eventually if you don't give up. Practice by writing and being around people who express themselves. Be honest about your lack of experience in this issue with your boyfriend and he won't take it as a personal rejection. Tell him that you care for him, but have no experience in being as in touch with deep feelings and this is new to you. I know for a fact, that people raised in very unloving environments or emotionally lacking environments can overcome their pasts to embrace love and find new feelings and emotions in themselves, but it takes soul searching and a constant awareness of self and others. Little by little you WILL get there.

Everyone is different in the amount of blood, and some girls not at all, because the hymen was probably broken easily through sports activity of some kind. Usually there is not more than one spot of blood and usually it does hurt, but pain is subjective. I am going to guess about an 8. Make sure you are really really ready to give up your virginity, because most women I know grew to regret there early sex experiences and wish to god they had waited at least a couple years longer. You can't get it back once it is lost and boyfriends at your age usually last a few months at the most. You could end up very unhappy with your decision so be careful. Also, do not even think about having unprotected sex with anyone, even if they say they are virgins, too. Anyone could have a disease they are unaware of, that they could have gotten through oral sex or even kissing (herpes) and you need to be protected against pregnancy. Let me know if you need anything else.

Obviously you are under a great deal of stress and your body reflecting this. You need to tell your doctor all of your symptoms and let him know about the throwing up. If you want people to help you, then you need to do your part and open up and talk. Panic Attacks can come whenever something triggers one, and you are not necessarily going to know that you are under stress or why or see it coming. They just come on with no warning sometimes. Try to close your eyes and breath and count from 10 to 1 and relax if it happens again. Write down all you are feeling and your symptoms and take them to the doctor or counselor as soon as you are able. Good luck!

It is still a tension release and the pain produces feel good chemicals that you are addicted to. Kind of like biting nails or working out but more damaging and unhealthy. There are other alternatives to handle stress and get support in your life. If you cut, it is a silent cry for help when you think no one is paying attention, and it is more depressing when no one does notice the cutting. I want you to take on the challenge of other stress relieving activities and try: Writing, Keeping a Journal, Meditating, Taking a Walk, Calling a friend, Saying a Prayer, Exercising, Talking to a parent, teacher, school counselor or your doctor (the doctor can prescibe medicine to help you!) and keep in touch with me if you need anything else. I want you to know that you are capable of finding alternatives to cutting that will really make you feel better and deal with the pain that is still unresolved. If you think that it is just a habit, then the best way to rid a habit is by replacing it with a new one. For example, cigarette smokers who quit, often chew gum and eat a hard candy...it keeps them self-soothed and calms nerves and tensions. Any addiction can be replaced with another more healthy one. Find yours!

He may be confused about you, also. When he was flirting, did you respond or just laugh? Maybe he was unclear or you are because of the drinking? You should ask him to go to lunch with you or for a bite or drink after work sometime just casually. Don't start acting weird or overthink it all because of this. Continue to talk and laugh and get to know him. I would avoid showing up drunk, again. Gay men have seemed very flirtatios with women on occasion, but that does not mean that they are interested in a sexual relationship. Are you for certain that this guy is straight? Also, he might be shy now that he thinks you are interested in a relationship and he is not sure how to proceed. With so many possibilities the thing to do is keep the relationship going until you know for sure and give him a chance. Remember, friendly as before and if you don't act weird, he will probably stop acting weird, too.

If it is just about sex when you do see him, then you could be nothing more than a friendly booty call to him. If you both enjoy spending non-sexual time together, than it is more. He has to work, don't hold that against him, but I am sure he could squeeze you in on his days off if he was serious about you. Is he older than you? Do you think he is seeing other women? Stop having sex (if you are) and you will find your answer.

Being used and being too trusting does not make you a slut, just regretful. Learn from this mistake, that is all any of us can do, and we all make mistakes! What came over you was typical female feelings of attachement after being sexually involved. Guys can have sex with no emotional attachment, and gals for the most part cannot. This is not just my opinion, or psychological, but biological and scientifically proven by the hormones that releas oxytocin in the female brain during and after sex oxytocin which makes females feel more attached to the male. The guys don't have these hormones like we do! Women are full of hormones affecting us all our lives, so we have had to learn to be smarter than the guys and our hormones!!! Forgive yourself for making a mistake that was almost impossible not to make, and learn from it now, while you are young and able to avoid a million other mistakes of the same kind. You will save yourself much heartbreak and risk of STDs and pregnancy, if you can decide now to take control of your body. You are still a good girl, and the slut label needs to be thrown back at that ex-boyfriend, because he is the one who sleeps around without caring about the person. Better to let the anger and self-judgement go, and just hold onto the lesson learned. You are a wiser woman now!!!

The roommate may be annoying, but you need to ignore her and not give her anything she can then use against you. If you make a bigger deal of this, it will backfire and your friend will think you are both being ridiculous. It is never fun to be caught in the middle. Your friend is stuck living with this person, so try to understand that she has to try to get along with her. My advice is to be polite no matter what, and don't let the rude person get you all fired up, because that is what she may want you to do...look all silly and mad. Be calm and just ignore the pettiness on her part.

So, your the knight in shining armour type? Well, you cannot "fix" anyone, but you can be supportive to this girl in the way she needs you to be the most. This girl is not a saint, she is inexperienced and probably has been confused and manipulated by her family which has hurt her self-esteem and personal development. She does not need a superhero. She needs to find her own voice and be heard, she needs to find her own strength and stand on her own two feet, she needs to have a friend that will stand by her, not in front of her. Be that man and friend for her. Listen to her, encourage her to go after her dreams and don't add to the family drama. Be a friend first and the rest will happen naturally.

Why wait? If love is blooming, then she will be glad to have your support and friendship as well as good loving feelings and togetherness NOW!!!

Making out is another way of saying that you are physically close, touching and kissing. It is up to you how much of either one and where. You do not have to take any clothes off, and you are way too young to be getting hot and heavy. The best and most enjoyable way to be physically close with a guy is to feel very comfortable and in love first. Then, you take your time and go really slow...rushing only ruins it! Love is best expressed slow and thick, not thin and quick. Wait for the right person and moment and you will be a million times gratedful you did. It is something wonderful, not something to rush into and get over with to say you did it. There is no race, no competition in this realm. All there is for you is time, perfection in time.

We all have parts of our personalities that were adapted into being, but that is not predestination. You took on traits that you learned by observation and the unacceptable traits you left undeveloped because you did not get approval for them. Now you are a grown woman and married and unsure of who you really are and can be. You know yourself well enough to see how you resemble those closest who have influenced you, and this scares you. No need to be afraid of the truth, it will set you free, remember. Just keep seeking it and count all your revelations as a blessing. Our role models always dissapoint, because they are human and we idealize them as if they were superhero's designed to save us. They cannot, but the better ones try to teach us to stand on our own. You don't need to hurt this person by telling them about your criticism of them. They already know their faults and even if they never acknowledge them to you, it will be okay. You need to acknowledge the truth to YOURSELF, because you are the one that matters. You have control over your own thoughts and can decide to rethink everything you want to and take steps in your life to do what reflects your new thoughts. The only way to carve out what you don't like and recreate yourself, is to accept that you have imperfections and have been limited by your perspective. There is much to explore and learn both in the world and in your mind, so think about and seek out the person you want to be and practice being it a little more everyday.

The clinic is a good idea, and if you want extra protection make sure to:
1. Use the latex condoms with spermicide and follow the directions exactly.
2. Do not use oil-based lubricants like petroleum jelly, cold cream, butter, or mineral and vegetable oils, because they damage latex condoms.
3. Do not have sex duing your peak ovulation time, and six days before your ovulation day. If you have regular periods, then your cycle is around 28 days, and you ovulate around the middle of your cycle. Because of the great chance for error, the six day life of sperm, and irregularity of periods it is safest to avoid days 8-19. Day 1 is the day you get your period. Women are most likely to get pregnant up to six days before, during, and up to a day after ovulation. It is safest to avoid sex days 8-19.
4. You can get additional birth control over the counter, like the female condom and additional spermicide.
5. Order by mail...check the Planned Parenthood in your area to get supplies mailed to you after the initial visit for the pill or patch, or to get condoms sent to you.
6. Okay, I want you to consider telling your parents if they are reasonable people that you are considering being on birth control someday, and just see what they say. Maybe they will be for the idea and take you....maybe not, but only you can decide for sure because it is your body you are protecting.

No, and you can buy other birth control, too. Make sure to get condoms with spermicide for added protection against pregnancy. Read the directions and follow them exactly. They won't work if you don't get the guy to wear them the whole time and correctly, so demand it everytime and have plenty on hand. You can get them for free at clinics usually, especially Planned Parenthood if there is one near you.

Yeah, it is normal. That does not mean it is healthy and morally acceptable for everyone. Guys still check out other women and consider viewing porn not cheating. However, it is also normal for you to feel bothered by his being turned on by other women, even if they are only images. Visual images are a strong sexual turn on for men, although many women also break the stereotype that only men are strongly visually stimulated. Women are more in tune with the senses of touch and have a more complicated fantasy life then men. We want the whole package, not just the "package." Men can objectify women easily and use them for sex without emotional attachment. Guys do not yearn for emotional connections in general, as women do, so when they do make a connection, it is a big deal. This means, that although it is annoying that he has the porn, in his mind it is completely separate from his feelings which are reserved for you alone. Have you talked to him about it? Does it get in the way of your intimacy with him? Do you think he could give it up or give you up more easily? Explain your own feelings about it without demanding anything, and see what he says. Whether or not it is normal is not the point and no excuse. Relationships are about compromise and you both need to discuss this and come to an agreement you both can live with if this is a serious adult relationship. If you are both young and casually dating, I would not expect him to change and you can't really demand it, but he is not looking for something better. You are the real deal, and that is the best always. Hope that helps a little.

If you are offending her everytime you open your mouth to express yourself, either she is too sensitive or you are indeed to harsh. We cannot change others, but you can examine your own mind and heart before you speak. Everything we do or say has an impact in the world on those around us, and consequences. If you are able to control your tongue and your feelings in a mature way in order to avoid misunderstanding, than you will grow to be a well adjusted individual who will have an easier way in the world. Next time you want to open your chest and spew out hostility, anger, frustration, hurt, criticism, or anything those around you do not want to end up wearing, then stand in front of a mirror and say it to your reflection. What do you see and feel hearing those words? How do you think others see you when you speak your mind? We all need to examine ourselves and our effect on the world and others from time to time. Life is a journey, and we have to pause from time to time, before we run ahead and miss the point.

You are guessing all over the place here and sound confused. You are probably self-conscious and over thinking his every move. The best you can do is be friendly, but not too available all the time at the locker, like you are waiting for him. Make sure he sees you a few times when you are not paying attention to him directly. Make sure he is the one noticing you. Focus away from him as your main crush for a few days and look and talk to other guys in front of him. Just to let him know that you are still a challenge. Guys will take you for granted if there is zero chase involved, but don't be overly inaccessable either or diss him. Don't say hi or the same old boring thing everyday. Think of something to ask him or make a comment he might find interesting. Complement him on something and then walk away. Think of it like starting a fire...you need to fan the flame with a little air, but not blow it out, and you can't smother it either. Good luck!

You hate him, and you will probably hate yourself as will your friend when you really get caught. He is using you and the thrill is always in the chase. Definately not boyfriend material, as he would turn around and cheat on you just as easily. This excitement will be over soon and you will be left just with shame in betraying a friend and letting a guy who is also with another use you both. You love the attention, it is a nice ego boost and he is probably cute and the physical stuff feels good, but you honestly can do much better than this and you know it. Tell him you are done being a plaything, and deserve better. Don't tell the best friend, she will hate you and just take him back. It might not seem fair, but that is usually how it ends. You are not the first girl who has been taken in like this, and I have been on both sides of the story...both suck!

Copy and paste this site in your browser and you should get most of your questions answered.


http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control/condom.htm

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

Website:
E-mail:
Gender:
Location:
Occupation:
Age:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists