I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65025
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every so often after i go pee, it feels like i still have to pee,but i dont.its not exactly a burning feeling, but sort of.what could it be?
thanks. (link)
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It could be that you have cystitis or some other form of urinary infection. However, if it is only now and then and not consistent or worsening, this is unlikely to be the case.
Does it happen around the time of your period at all? Sometimes periods can make you feel a little cystitis-y just before and after you bleed so this may be causing it.
If this doesn't sound right either, you would be best advised to visit your doctor. If there are no other symptoms (pain anywhere in your body or blood in your urine, etc)then its best to get checked out to make sure everything is okay 'down there'. I doubt there is a problem and it might be something as simple as a weak bladder but you can never be too careful. Drink plenty of fluids (cranberry juice in particular can help to lessen the burning sensation) and see your doctor for further advice.
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Ok so there is this guy at my school and I really like him, his name is Andrew. I dont know if he likes me but i really want him to know. How am I supposed to know if he likes me back when he figures it out? My friends were gonna talk to him but they never got a chanc. They were supposed to do it while i was flying out of town for a funeral but he was sick. I (link)
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You have a choice here. You can sit by and worry about how to tell him you like him and whether or not he likes you while your enemy swoops in for the kill OR you can bite the bullet and get in there first!
Personally, I'd opt for the second choice. Even if he shoots you down, at least you'll have told him and you'll know how he feels, which will be one regret out of your path.
Just sit him down and explain to him that you don't want to make things awkward between you but you really like him and just wanted him to know. This leaves it completely open ended so he can say he likes you, or he can say 'thank you' or h can ask you out.
I would also recommend that you do NOT get your friends to do this on your behalf! Speaking from experience, I can tell you this intimidates guys and that they have more respect for girls that do it themselves. So take a big breath and go for it.
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I don't have caller ID. And this girl Alyssa keeps calling my house and saying stuff about me and being all rude. It really upsets me; she has been doing it on Wednesdays starting last week. She calls me a dirty whore and making fun or me and stuff. I don't know what to do. If it happens again I'm calling the police for harrassment. Is that the right thing to do?
(link)
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In a word, yes.
People like this will only learn one way. Don't risk making things worse by taking the matter into your own hands. Once the police slap her with a warning, in front of her parents, she'll not be in a position to do it again.
I would recommend that you begin keeping a log of the phone calls and what she said, because the police may need this, should they decide to follow up on the case. A lot of the time, they request detailed records of the harrassment, so they know what they're dealing with. So start making notes of the date and time she calls and what she says. Then hand it all over to the police. Do NOT tell her you will do it before hand. Just pass it on and let them deal with it.
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Ok, There is this Boy that I like in My acting Class. and I think he likes me but I'm not sure.
Like I catch him starring at me alot and even when I look at him he is still staring but somtimes then he just looks away. Ok, and we talk alot. And he never arugued with me like he did with the other kids. Ok,
and This time I was smilling at him B/c we had 2 put on costums and I laughed he smiled too, what? he asked I said nothing, and he said what again, and I turned away and walked away laughing and he followed me kept saying what what what? laughing then my friends showd up and said "OMG (his name)!" he annoyed them I only laughed and he was wearing a hat so I pulled it over his face! was that flirting? does he like me? I dont even know what I am asking. so what?
(link)
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It does sound rather like flirting, yes and I suspect you are asking because deep down, you want him to like you. It certainly sounds as though you like him!
Judging from his behaviour, he seems very comfortable in your company and it's a good indication that he might well like you but I always find it's best to go with gut instinct on these things. So, do YOU think he likes you?
If you do like him and you're sure he likes you too, I would recommend that you try asking him out, or just tell him you like him. The worst he can do is say no, in which case you graciously say that you'll just be friends and carry on (I know it doesn't seem that it would be that easy but it's really not that bad) as normal. However, I don't really think he will say no!
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my friend is doing a 300 cal a day diet and exercises off the other cals she eats. and i know its bad but really i see her loosing weight and i am very jealous and i want to try it. could anyone give me more information on the out come.
ill rate 5's (link)
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You shouldn't be jealous of your friend. You should be worried and want to help her. The average woman needs around 2,000 calories a day and at it's very least, half this if dieting. Your friend is eating just a quarter of the recommended daily amount and she needs some help to sort this out, especially if she is not overweight.
You need to speak to your Mum or her Mum about this and see if anything can be done. Eating Disorders normally stem from low self esteem or a need to control things, so perhaps some counselling might be a good idea.
In the meantime, I'm worried about your view on this. What your friend is doing is dangerous and I cannot offer any advice on sticking to such low calories per day because I will not give you a way to harm yourself. If you want to lose weight, please PLEASE do it safely, by eating a balanced healthy diet and keeping up with some regular exercise. Crash dieting like this is NOT the way to do it and I can tell you from first hand experience that the long term consequences are not worth enduring.
If you are worried about your weight or about the way you are thinking and feeling at the moment, please speak to your parents or a doctor but do not copy what your friend is doing. It's okay to want to lose weight if you are overweight but if you are a good weight right now and aren't wanting to do it sensibly, you need to seek some help, so please do. Take care of yourself.
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i heard that if you have acne now in like your teenage years, that once your older you get less? and if you dont have acne in your teenage years then you get acne when your old like 20's and 30's ..is this true? (link)
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Not necessarily, no. I'm afraid to say that acne at any age is just a matter of how much sebum your skin produces and how your body reacts to it. The sebum is what comes from your pores and causes spots and although washing can help to reduce the likelihood of acne, overwashing can make it worse and in some cases, it will make no difference at all.
Adult acne is something that isn't very common but can happen due to a change in diet, hormones, stress and so on. Again, this is something which can happen at any stage of your adult life.
The best thing you can do is to maintain a good skincare regime and keep your fingers crossed! Also find a very good spot cream to keep in emergency reserve.
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i like this guy....(duuhh) ok uhh and we were pretty good friends but we had this fight(he told me he loved me and i acted kinda weird /mean) and he never talked to me since than! then i called him and appologized but he only was like:uhu yeah blablabla ok and i do like him and everytime i see him he lookes at me today he even smiled once but i thought that was just because he was laughing at a joke...and at the bus today he looked at me in a sad kinda way....and i wanna be friends again but im just scared that when i talk to him again he'll be like all weird again
so what should i say? and how should i act when he's weird?? does he still like me cause he also never talkes to me??
please help
i'll rate!!! (link)
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It sounds to me as though he does still really like you. If you didn't have any feelings towards someone, you wouldn't snub them the way he is doing to you.
However, by rejecting him when he put himself and his heart on the line like that, you've probably really hurt his feelings and I suspect he's feeling rather humiliated by it all too.
You have two options here. You can either let the whole thing go.....or you can speak to him about it again. Don't call him this time. Try to arrange to meet him on his own somewhere and try to sit down to have a proper chat. Tell him that your really do like him but when he told you how he felt you were a bit shocked/didn't know how to handle it/temporarily went a little loopy and you were wrong to act the way you did. Tell him you care about him and if he is still interested, you'd like to go out with him sometime.
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okay well im really not scared of sports i love sports...but im scared of the subect sports in school! and i dont know why maby its because of my teacher and also because were doing stuff i totally cant do..like loopings in the air whatever and people always tell me: i also cant do it but just try it... and how should i try to do a looping in the air like duuuhhh i totally dont know how and by the way many people got hurt..and im reeeaalllyy scared all the time...like the night before thursday (thats the day we have sports) i totally get nightmares like i end up in a hospital or something! and my teacher always forces me to do stuff i hate...and she's also really mean to me she said if i dont move i get even fatter then i am..and im sooo not fat im like one of the most slim persons in my class and people always tell me that! i dont know im just sooo scared all the time!! what should i do??
sorry this is so long
I'll rate (link)
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Sadly, I believe that all sports teachers reserve the right to be as sadistic as possible, and this is why we are forced out in minus 600 degress in sports knickers and vests!!
Unfortunately, there's very little that can be done about the majority, as they are allowed to make us do activities and sports we are afraid to do. I remember being terrified of hockey after one girl in my class got her two front teeth smashed in with the ball.
BUT, I played and actually turned out to be quite good! My point is that even though you're scared to do it, you have to get on and try because you never know, you may just end up top of the class. Not to mention it will earn your teacher's respect if you try hard and that means she will be less likely to pick on you.
As far as calling you fat, you really need to do something about this. There's enough to deal with in school, without teacher's giving students more reason to feel body conscious!! If name calling such as this keeps up, you need to speak to your Headteacher about it and see if something can be done. Leading is fine, bullying is not.
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My mom won't let me talk to boys on the phone. Whenever my cellphone rings, shes like "Who is it??!?!?" When I actually tell her she rolls her eyes and then asks my 20 questions about the person I'm talking to.
I know like trying to "protect" me, but I have to pretty much "hide" in my room when I talk on the phone.
Help? (link)
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It's good to know that you realise she's just trying to protect you. All the majority of parents want is to see their child grow up safe and happy. Problem is, they cause their children untold grief in the process!!!
Try having a chat to her about it. Tell her about your friends and let her realise that they are good people. Maybe even see if you can have some of them over for dinner, so that she can meet them for herself? If she meets them, she can reassure herself that she has nothing to worry about.
Don't hide from her because that will make the matter worse. The more you hide from her, the more she will want to snoop, so try to keep your relationship as honest and open as possible and if that means telling her that she needs to loosen up a little bit then so be it. As long as you are very nice about it and don't scream or shout, this should be fine. She may not loosen up or even be prepared to back off a litle straight away so try to work out a compromise, which will also earn her respect in the long run.
Whatever you decide, try to work things out as best as possible. Mothers can be a major thorn in our sides but growing up, we don't always realise how valuable they are.
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ok,i got razer burn(on my armpits....yaa...kinda weird sorry..!!) but i would like to no
how long does it last? and what can i use to get rid of it?(and if i can use something to get rid of it...how long does that take?) i have a dance next friday and i really dont want it to be there!!
thankyou for the help!! (link)
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ALWAYS happens to me too!!! Try using a little moisturiser after you've shaved. Don't put deoderant on straight afterwards, because it won't work after moisturiser. If you shave under your arms at night before you go to bed, put a little moisturiser on and massage in, you should have no problems and you can use deoderant the next day.
Alternatively, there are also a lot of deoderants and anti-perspirants that now contain moisturiser so you could also give this a go.
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hey, what are some really good ceremic hair straighteners? like what brands? and im not talking about an ok job, im talking a drastic change from like poofy to smooth straight and silky. it would be great if you could answer with straighteners under 40 dollars? thanks, ill rate fives for any ideas. (link)
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GHD Hair Straighteners are the most amazing thing in the world!! I have the most unruly hair anyone has ever seen, I'm sure. It just wouldn't do a THING and it was so frizzy all the time. Then I went to a hairdresser than used GHD's on me and they worked SO well. I have never seen my hair look 'normal' until then!
If you decide to go for them, make sure you get some good hair protecting spray or serum, because ANY hair straighteners will damage your hair. Also, try not to use them often or over a long period of time because the long term damage of any good hair straighteners, regardless of protective sprays, is horrendous!!
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okay...i'm 13, and just lost my virginaty yesterday. actually, i'm not sure if i did or didn't. i was raped by my next door neighbor who is 16, and has a gf. also, my bf came to find me, and caught me being raped, but he thought that we were actually having sex. now he's mad and won't talk to me because i won't have sex with him. i really need help talking to him and everything. and should i tell my parents? or not? help!!! (link)
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You have GOT to tell someone NOW. If this guy raped you, you need to report it to the police while his DNA is still on you. And yes, he has taken your virginity. The Police need to arrest him because he could have done this or might in the future do this to any number of girls. Don't let him get away with it.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. It's truly awful but you need to tell your parents and you need to tell your boyfriend. If he really cares about you, he will believe you, especially when you go to the police about it. However, I would like to stress that you're only 13 years old and your boyfriend should NOT be upset with you because you won't have sex with him. You're underage and he shouldn't be putting any pressure on you to do this.
Speak to someone, don't suffer in silence and don't let him get away with it.
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Well its been about 2 weeks sense i had sex, we used a condum and everything we were so careful even after we had it for the first time we checked and made sure there was no hole and i'm suppose to start my period right now at end of the month well didnt come and i took 2 test to see both came back negative and i still havent started my period. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for like a year and 3months first time we did it! i just need help i fit doesnt start soon by this week were going to the doctor well i live in san antonio i dont know were to go because if i do they might tell my parents???
please help (link)
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Okay first thing, your doctor would not be able to tell your parents because as long as you are over 12, I think it is, they cannot discuss your problems with anyone but you without your consent, so please don't worry about this.
Next thing, I very much doubt that you are pregnant but please bear in mind that condoms are not 100% effective and if you really want to ensure you won't get pregnant, get yourself put on the Contraceptive Pill, when you visit your doctor, so you are using condoms and the Pill - which is 99.9% effective - at the same time. It's what the Dutch call going 'Double Dutch'. The Pill will also help to regulate your periods and I highly suspect that irregular periods are the reason you haven't come on yet, rather than pregnancy.
Don't worry too much for now. Get yourself to a doctor as soon as you can if you don't get your period. He will be able to confirm if you are pregnant and if you aren't, get yourself put on the Pill.
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i like this boy and I think he likes me. like when we play dogde ball he tries to get me it or get me out.or when we play kick ball he always tries to get me out, but I went out with him before and now I'm scared he'll say no. and then tell everybody I asked. What should I do? (link)
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It sounds as though he quite possibly does like you.
I know you're afraid of rejection and humiliation but it's just one guy and in years to come, if you don't do it, you'll back and wonder why you didn't. The worst he can do is say no. So what if other people find out? The point is at least you had the guts to ask and that's a big deal. Besides, every single one of those people that he might tell will eventually be asking people out and will probably also get rejected at some point.
So take a deep breath and ask him out. By his behaviour, I think he would say yes.
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Well, there is this guy that I work and go to school with. We'll name him Bob. Anyways, I've liked him for months .. really since I got to know him. &he is a MAJOR flirt .. most girls love him. But, every time I "talk/date" another guy, I always think of Bob and Bob will never talk to me when that guy comes to visit me &if he does talk to me .. it's very brief. Well, I'm not talking to anyone anymore and I told Bob that this guy named Joe said he liked me last Friday. Joe also works with us. So, Bob started giving me kisses on the cheek and stuff all Friday night at work even though Joe left at 9 and Bob and I left a little after 11:30. He stayed, even though he had somewhere to go, because I asked him to leave with me. &Saturday, he kept giving me kisses on the cheek and telling me I was pretty &stuff. Which, btw. I gave him my number the Monday before last and he called me everyday, but Monday. &today, my friend asked him on the phone if he liked me and he told her I was there next to her, but she said I wasn't and he said he didn't like me and proceeded to laugh a little. I don't understand him .. at all. Help! (link)
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It sounds as though he does like you but, let's face it. If you were him, would you have admitted your feelings to his friend while he was sat next to him? He was probably REALLY intimidated. Not to mention he probably would like to tell YOU how he feels about you and not your friend.
Try talking to him about this. Apologise for getting your friend to call and tell him you were just scared to tell him you liked him because of how he might react. See what he says to this. I think you'll find his reaction favourable.
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hey. i'm from guam and like there's this guy who likes me and i like him back, so we went out for a few months and then we broke up. because he still had feelings for his old girlfriend who dumped him. is it ok if i can still like him and think about him and still wanna go out with him? (link)
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It's a very unfortunate situation and I'm sure you're hurting right now. I'm sorry he wasn't over his ex. Unfortunately, this isn't an uncommon situation and you're lucky that he was honest with you about it.
Absoloutely, it's okay that you still like him and want to go out with him, as long as you don't dwell on it too much. I know you like him but he's made his choice and now you need to try to move on. I'm sure you're a great girl and chances are that there's another bloke for you just round the corner. Chin up. You'll be fine.
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ok this is kinda gross but yesterday when i got home from school i had to go to the bathroom really bad and i was kinda constipated.. and then when i wiped there was really little blood..but then when i went to sleep, on my underwear was a lot of brown..so idk if it's my period or what ? it didnt really look like it, idk though
could it of been my period or no?
14/f (link)
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It sounds very much as though you might have got your period, as the feeling you describe sounds similar to period pains. Like a sort of cramping, really needing to go to the bathroom type feeling.
Make sure that you keep something with you from now onwards when you are at school (I'd recommend you start with sanitary towels before going on to tampons) so that you don't get caught out at an awkward time.
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THIS IS NOT A QUESTION OF FAITH
I have considered myself asnostic for a few years now. I have faith more in the people I know and everyone, then some silly religion with it's own agenda. I also believe in a greater god, but mostly for comfort, to hate, and to thank. Anywho, this coming fall I am going to have to make a decision of getting confirmed by the Catholic Church. I am not so sure that I should do it. I know that it would make my mom happy, but I feel like I am just flat out disrespecting Catholicism to follow their ways even though I don't believe it. I don't really care if I am found out, I am not like an in-your-face religion hater, but still, it would kill my mom. So, my question is, should go through with it for my mom, or not?
THIS IS NOT A QUESTION OF FAITH, I DON'T BELIEVE IN CHRISTIANITY, PLEASE TO NOT TELL ME OF THE GLORIES OF HEAVAN, JESUS, AND WHAT NOT (link)
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I can see your problem because nobody really likes to disappoint their parents but at the same time, if you get confirmed that you will be that religion for the rest of your life and if your parents are strict Catholics at all, they would probably expect you to follow Catholic rules. If that's not true to your heart, then you shouldn't do it.
Don't get it done now but keep thinking about it. If you eventually decide you want it done, you can have it done at a later date. If not then you don't have to. The only way you will be letting anyone down is to go into this half heartedly.
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ok so in my spanish class i sit in the back of the room with my best friend. behind me is this kid who thinks hes "emo" and is really annoying. stupidly he wants to stay back because all his friends are a year younger than us so he doesnt do anything. the one thing he does do is harrass me and my friend to the point of tears one day. he does little stupid things too such as tapping after we asked nicely to stop or pulling our hair and talking to us and saying rude remarks while were trying to learn. my teacher mrs B has noticed some of it and has countless times kicked him out or moved his seat but somehow he finds his way back to the seat behind me. today i finally cracked. i wasnt having a good day to begin with and he just made it worse. the two of us started flipping out and stuff and our teacher joined in too getting him in trouble and stuff. but even after that class it continued. i feel like were in elementary school and its highschool ... grow up. we are not the only two this kid does this to and the other girls have taken it to the principle and it doesnt seem to pahse this kid. its annoying and its the icing on the cake to all my other more serious problems im having this year(see my other questions). and i dont know what to do. please help me because im at the breaking point. and please dont tell me to ignore it because ive been trying to everyday... all year and im done.. (link)
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Make sure that EVERY time he does anything at all that disrupts your learning, you tell the teacher. I know that sounds very petty but after you have to keep stopping the lesson 10 times a day, eventually the message will get across to your teacher than he cannot be allowed to get away with this and further action will be taken.
If you do this, I give it a maximum of 5 lessons before you see something change!
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Hi!
I don't know what to do anymore! I know my friend is lying. I have proof against it! I have confronted him and still he denys it all! We just had a big fight today over it.
I'm just worried because he is loosing friends because of the lies. He has already lost me. I don't trust him anymore. Nobody trusts him!
What should I do?? (link)
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The problem with compulsive liars is that they usually don't really realise they're doing it or they do realise and can't stop themselves. Owning up to this later is very embarrassing so they pick denial - yet another lie.
The only thing you can really do with a compulsive liar once confronted is to let them get on with it and either stop being friends with them or take everything they say with a pinch of salt.
I had a friend who was exactly the same (She even put black eyeshadow all under her eye and told us her ex had been round and hit her) and it was awful because we didn't know what to do about her lying. Eventually, we realised we couldn't do anything and every time we thought she was lying, we ignored it completely and pretended she hadn't said anything. Eventually she got the message and as far as we can tell, she no longer does it, so it might be worth giving that a go.
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