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Agnosticism Confusion
THIS IS NOT A QUESTION OF FAITH
I have considered myself asnostic for a few years now. I have faith more in the people I know and everyone, then some silly religion with it's own agenda. I also believe in a greater god, but mostly for comfort, to hate, and to thank. Anywho, this coming fall I am going to have to make a decision of getting confirmed by the Catholic Church. I am not so sure that I should do it. I know that it would make my mom happy, but I feel like I am just flat out disrespecting Catholicism to follow their ways even though I don't believe it. I don't really care if I am found out, I am not like an in-your-face religion hater, but still, it would kill my mom. So, my question is, should go through with it for my mom, or not?
THIS IS NOT A QUESTION OF FAITH, I DON'T BELIEVE IN CHRISTIANITY, PLEASE TO NOT TELL ME OF THE GLORIES OF HEAVAN, JESUS, AND WHAT NOT
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
I can see your problem because nobody really likes to disappoint their parents but at the same time, if you get confirmed that you will be that religion for the rest of your life and if your parents are strict Catholics at all, they would probably expect you to follow Catholic rules. If that's not true to your heart, then you shouldn't do it.
Don't get it done now but keep thinking about it. If you eventually decide you want it done, you can have it done at a later date. If not then you don't have to. The only way you will be letting anyone down is to go into this half heartedly.
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I was brought up a Christian, I was christened and confirmed by the Church of England, I go to a Christian school, I'm even in the church band.
But I'm not a Christian.
I went to church and all that because my parents told me to, I never stopped to think about whether I actually believed any of it. They got me christened when I was six months old so it wasn't really my choice at all. I got confirmed because it seemed like a fun idea. I was only 11 years old and I didn't really have a clue about what I was doing. I now realise that what I did was a mistake.
I don't mind going to the church school, it's a good school and my friends all go there. I don't mind singing in the church band because I love to sing and I'm good at it but that doesn't change my beliefs.
The moral of the story is: Religion is a big deal to people like your mum, I think that if you got confirmed into the Catholic church then turned round a few years later and said "You know what, I don't believe in this." Then it would hurt her more than if you told her the truth now.
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Well... Why would you get confirmed by the Catholic Church if you aren't interested? Just for your mom's sake? That's not a good reason, that's a pretty big lie.
How much worse would she feel if she found out you had went through all the motions and they had all been lies. In her eyes you would then not only have been lying to her but lying to her church too.
You can't keep up a lie like this forever. The Catholic religion is pretty much a way of life.
Why not just tell her the truth?
Also, I appreciate that you are not interested in the Catholic Church or Christianity in general, but I just want to clarify that there is a difference between Catholic Christianity and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity.
The Catholic Church believes that the Bible is not the only authority. Their teachings include such documentation as Catechisms, and Papal Encyclicals (defined as "authoritative teaching instruments from the Vicar of Christ" (the Pope)) which have been written and added to throughout the years of the history of the Catholic Church.
Because of this, the Catholic Church has many teachings, beliefs, and traditions that are different from a Christian who believes the Holy Bible is the exclusive authority of Christianity.
A Catholic Christian believes in the Catholic doctrines, teachings, and traditions which include, but are *not exclusive to* the Holy Bible.
Most non-Catholic Christians believe the Holy Bible is the *exclusive* authority of Christianity... No other documents.
Much argument comes from this, as quite a few non-Catholic Christians believe the Catholic doctrines to be un-Christian and not corresponding with Biblical scripture. And obviously, Catholics disagree.
For more information about the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity, see the following link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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I consider myself agnostic as well. My mom is a devout Episcopalian. At the age of 17, I was confirmed. Did I choose to? Yes. Why? To make my mom happy. Basically, I saw it as a short, painless ceremony that meant nothing to me, and everything to her. I was not lying to myself or her.
At my house, I was more or less forced to go to church every Sunday until I turned 18. At that point, it was my decision. I stopped going. When my sister turned 18, she stopped too (and now considers herself a complete atheist. Forcing religion sure backfires, don't it?).
My mom didn't need to know about my lack of faith until I stopped going to church. Yes, it seems unfair to have to "pretend" to be Christian to your mother, but do you really want to have to see the look in her eyes when you tell her otherwise? That's why I chose to wait until I turned 18, and she had little to no influence on that decision anyway. The blow was lessened considerably, and she had the whole "Well, I tried" attitude about it, and didn't worry herself.
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This is just a sort of run-with-it theory, but say you did get confirmed, and that made your mum pretty happy. What would you have to do afterward? My best friend is, to all intents and purposes, Catholic, but as far as I can see he does nothing for his religion other than to worry about the guilt he has from doing nothing for his religion. Could you just get confirmed, put a smile on your mothers face, and then sort of not really mention it from them on? If you get confirmed and then kind of leave it at that, it's not like the Pope is gonna come after you, and maybe it'd only take this one thing to make your mum a)happy and b)shut up about it.
Like I said this was just really thinking out loud and I don't know much about the Catholic faith (could the Pope really come after you?) so it was just a thought. I hope you figure it out, man- it seems like a knotty problem.
Peace out.
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I was baptised Catholic when I was small and had my first communion and all of that, so I had the choice to be confirmed. I, like you, am not a huge fan of organized religion. I started to feel that way sometime soon after I went into my adolescence.
I would say to not bother doing it. You'd basically be living a lie. By letting yourself get confirmed, you're wasting your time and everyone else whose involved's time if you simply just don't believe in Catholicism. It's an insult to yourself to go against your beliefs like that, and it's an insult to them whether they are aware or not.
Just try to be gentle about it with your mom. Sit her down and tell her that you know it would make her really happy if you did this, but that your heart just isn't in it and you feel you are old enough to decide for yourself now. Hopefully she'll understand.
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WHAT? YOU MUST GET CONFIRMED, IT IS GOD'S PLAAAAN!!!
Just kidding. Seriously though, I don't think you should do something you don't want. I mean, I know from experience it's hard to not do something your mom wants to do, but getting confirmed would mean getting yourself involved in something you don't believe in.
If it's not something you really believe in, it's far too much trouble to go through.
If you DO decide to get confirmed, you should pick St. Alfwold to put onto your middle name.
-Odd
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I don't think you should do it if you don't believe in it.
I was confirmed, but that's because I was 10 years old and thus had no idea what I was getting myself into. If I had it my way I never would've become a Catholic at all. I'm a pretty strong Christian but don't like organized religion. Anyway, unlike me, you have some choice here.
Ultimately, you are the manager of your own life. It should be your decision whether you want to become a part of a religion. It would be unfair to yourself, and to the Catholic faith to become a part of it when you don't believe in it. That means you're sacrificing a part of yourself just to make someone else (your mom) happy.
I know when you're growing up your parents have a lot of influence over you. That's normal, and a good thing. Parental figures are our chief role models. But something to do with faith should be something you decide yourself. Don't go through with it just because you feel you should make your mom happy. Tell her you're not sure about where your beliefs lie, and you don't want to become involved in any religion just yet. Your mom should respect your beliefs, and vice versa. :)
Good luck.
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i'm agnostic also, and i definitely know that i wouldnt get confirmed by the catholic church cause it would be a lie to myself, and to catholics. but thats just me. do what you please. my recomendation is just dont do something you dont believe in..
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