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Hey Everyone :) I'm Kate and a level 2 mod on here. I've had this account since July 2004, so I've been on here since I was 13! Wow ... crazy for me to think how long ago that was. I will admit I don't check in as often as I once did, but being away at college, being in a sorority, and having a job when I'm not at school is very time consuming. I still try to help out as much as possible, and if you send me a question I WILL answer it. This site helped me a LOT when I was in high school and had a lot of questions, and I'm here to help anyone who needs it :) Feel free to write in my forum or send me a question any time!

advice

hi well recently i was at he beach and i only put a little suntan lotion on and my WHOLE stomach is burnttt.....

my dad got me a higher spf so now im good and i know to reaply it

but will sunblock prevent you from getting tan

and its been a day since i got sunburn ..will the pain go away within the next few days

=]PLEASE TRY AND HELP
=]thanks
=]

Sunblock won't prevent you from getting a tan. It may be harder to tan, but you're better off that way. (I assume that because of the burn experience you know why).

I know a lot about sunburns because I just about get 1 every summer. Mainly because I forget to reapply and stuff until the memory of pain comes back to me.

What happens for me is it doesn't bother me the first day. I put aloe on ASAP and every single day once when I wake up, once in the middle of the day, and once about an hour or two before I go to bed. For the next 2-3 days it hurts. Then it starts to peel and itch like crazy (at least for me it itches like crazy).

Pretty much (in my experience) it takes about a week to heal. Either way I wouldn't go swimming/tanning for about a week after the burn. If the burn has yet to peel and is still red and/or sore then I would wait longer.

Normally you would wait until after the peeling has ended or come close to ending because as it's peeling you're losing 1+ layer(s) of skin and your skin while burned and while peeling is much more sensitive.

Anyway, give it about a week. Normally it's not longer than that as long as the burn isn't really bad.

FYI: I am a 20 year-old recent college grad. Both men I am referring to in this question are only slightly older than me and finishing their degrees.

"Joe" and I began dating 2 1/2 years ago. Our relationship was generally good when last summer (1 1/2 years in)he decided that he didn't want a serious girlfriend. Nothing mean or ugly, he was just being honest. I tried all summer to change his mind but finally gave. (We remained close friends.)

After dating around for a little while, I began seeing "Michael". Our relationship was somewhat rocky because we had both come out of relationships and he had been hurt many times before. During this time, Joe began to develop interest in having a relationship. I thought it over and eventually decided to try things again with Joe. (I stayed in close contact with Michael.)

Joe and I have a really easygoing relationship, but he refuses to discuss a more serious commitment. When we discuss it, he says he doesn't see us going in that direction at this point but is always careful to avoid losing me entirely. In the past few months, Michael has attempted to see other people to no avail. He is convinced that I am the only one for him. We have been getting along beatuifully, and Michael has done everything he to prove to me that we belong together. (Both are fully aware of each other and the current status.)

Michael wants me to leave Joe and become engaged to him. (He's even looking at rings.) I am seriously considering this. I love both men very much (in somewhat different ways) and could she myself happily married to either (in 2-5 years). The difference here is that Michael is willing to commit and Joe is not. Both have treated me very well; although Michael is romantic (flowers) while Joe is considerate (fixs my car). Is there any point in continuing to wait for Joe or should I leave him and accept the proposal from Micheal?

I'm kind of split on this one and I'll tell you why. This is truly MY opinion and I think that in all honesty only YOU can make this decision. It's your life and your future and you don't want to make the wrong one.

Of course, the way you speak about them both one guy stands out and the other, who seems like a good guy and deserving of your love is getting kind of pushed to the back.

You have 3 choices here and I plan to elaborate on each one. I'll go from the simplest to both. I'm going to state what I have gotten from your explanation of both relationships in my answer.

Option 1 - Neither of them. You are unable to decide which means that maybe, although both seem fantastic, neither are right for you. You seem to truly care about them both, but if you really loved one of them wouldn't you be able to choose? Choosing a husband should not always be as simple as "I love him, let's get married". Don't you wish it was that easy. Then again, without that mentality it's hard to choose. There's someone I know who was engaged to a guy, seemed pretty happy, but the closer it got to the wedding the more intesified things got - they broke it off which was actually in the long run good for her; they weren't truly meant to be.

Option 2 - Joe. Joe's a great guy. The two of you have been happy. You can see yourself married to him. The problem with Joe is that he can't see himself married to you. He loves you and doesn't want to marry you, but won't commit. Forcing him to committ would be no good because then he may resent you for forcing him into a marriage he isn't ready for. BUT if he is TRULY the one and only for you, there's nothing you can do but wait. You may have to wait forever and he may never come around, but it wouldn't be fair to Michael to get into a marriage with him when in all honesty you have your heart to Joe and never got it back.

Your 3rd and final option - Michael. The two of you have been dating and getting along beautifully. You said you could see yourself married to him withing the next few years. He treats you romantically and is willing to committ. Sounds like a great guy. BUT are you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE you're ready for marriage with him? Are you sure you're not just wanting to choose him because he claims to know what he wants while Joe is still trying to figure it out? You're looking for a committment and Michael, although he sounds amazing, seems like the easy way out. You say that you love him and could see yourself married to him vice versa, but are you sure he's not a rebound guy for you and vice versa? It wouldn't be fair for either of you to get into a relationship you're not fully ready and willing to get into. If you're sure you love him and don't just want to be with him because Joe isn't sure of himself yet, go for it. But if you're not positive about your love for these guys (which if you're asking here then you're not completely sure) then it wouldn't be fair for anyone, including yourself, to be in a relatinship.

Joe seems awesome, he also is unsure of what he wants. He's young, maybe he just wants to get out in the real world and experience life before settling down. If you were 24 and this was on your mind it would make more sense (to me) to go with Michael because he would seem to know what he wants and you would be older and getting more ready to settle down. Michael seems to know what he wants, which is good, but you guys are young. I know you're saying that you wouldn't get married for another 2-5 years which I think is VERY smart, but maybe it's just strange for Joe to think about marriage this young.

Experience life a bit. I'm sorry, but this is a decision you're going to have to make on your own. This may sound cheesy, but listen to your heart. Does it want you to wait for Joe or keep what you have with Michael.

Is waiting for Joe worth the relationship that may or may not come out of it?

Is Michael REALLY the one for you. Will you be HAPPY with how things turn out if you stay with Michael. Remember, no regrets. You don't want to regret your husband.

Sorry I couldn't just choose Michael or Joe for you, but think about this...

Someone I really care about got married almost a year ago at the end of July. Every time she or someone else brings up her husbands name (even when they were dating and engaged) she gets this look on her face and this huge smile. You can just tell that her love for him is real. Which of these guys makes you look like your love is so real and so untouchable. Which of these guys when brought up in conversation just makes you smile and the thought of them. Not the haha or aww, my boo type of smile, but the Wow, I love him type of smile and feeling?

Think about it and good luck =D

I'm only 16/f, but I know a lot about life and quite a bit about love.

14/f

I have a really bad posture. My mom says that my shoulder are rolled over so my shoulder blades stick out. i try so hard to keep a good posture so my back is straight, but i'm always slumping over.

How do i fix this?

Practice makes perfect. When I was in chorus we have these crazy chairs where the back was straight up so you had to have perfect posture to sit in them. I'm not sure where you could buy them, but they would be of great help to you.

When ever you go to sit down try and make sure they're sitting up, back straight.
It's a tricky thing to do, but once you get used to it then you'll be fine. It helps a LOT in the long run too. People with good posture have less back problems. That's probably a "duh" statement haha, but still, I figured I'd share =D.

I have the best husband in the world i love him so much.....but there is one BIG problem he abuses me....he hits slaps pulls my hair elbows me pushes me....but there is another problem i love him to much to leave him i love him so much so leaving him is not an option....what should i do?
Broken hearted and torn

Let me start of telling you that he does NOT love you or respect you. He doesn't deserve you either.

If you stay with him you are allowing this to happen. I understand that you think you love him, you may even love him (which is VERY DIFFICULT for me to believe!).

You have two options.

Option 1: Stay. Let the abuse continue. Possibly let him kill you.
Option one doesn't sound too great to me.

Option two: Inform someone! Tell a friend or family member. If they tell you to go to counciling or to try and fix, ignore them, go straight to the police and get his sorry ass arrested! If for some stupid reason he doesn't get thrown in prison for his abuse, at the VERY MINIMUM, DIVORCE HIS ABUSING SELF!!!!! I can not stress this enough. You need to get as far away from this guy as possible.

You know why option two sounds FANTASTIC? Because it stops the abuse! There is absolutely NO reason for you to let this happen.

Please don't take what I'm saying as meanging it's your fault, it is NOT YOUR FAULT! He has a problem and needs to get help. You do not, nor should you stay with him while he gets help. You need to divorce him and get far enough way where he can't hurt you anymore.

There is NO reason for him to be doing this to you. I don't care if he had a stressful day at work, even if he got fired and you said the wrong thing. There is absolutely NO reason for a man to hit a woman and vice versa. Abuse if one of the worst forms of marital issues in my mind. It can lead to unintentional (or technically intentional) homicide. This isn't some simple domestic disupute that can be fixed by a little marraige counciling. You need a plan to get yourself OUT. Even if it means sneaking out in the middle of the night. One day he could get out of control and beat you to death. I don't care if he apologizes after hitting you. If you continue to stay in the relationship you are giving him power.

There shouldn't be a next time. I know you say leaving him isn't an option, but it's either that or continue to get smacked around, elbowed, and abused! NOBODY DESERVES ABUSE!!! NOBODY!!!

Please, LISTEN to myself and all of the others telling you to GET OUT! Trust me, if this guy gets away this he might even move on and do it to someone else.

Please, call the police and/or a hotline for woman experiencing abuse.

Here are some websites I really urge you to visit.
I may only be 16 years old, but I know people who have been in relationships such as yours where they have been abused and/or raped by their boyfriends and/or husbands. Please, get out while you still have the chance. Also, if you have children with this man don't be too quick to think he's only hurting you. Get them away too!

Here are the websites, PLEASE, PLEASE, visit them and GET HELP!! Never wait, because soon might be too late!

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=45270"Love is not supposed to hurt. Love is not supposed to be about control.

Love should bring "color" into your life. It should make you want to get up in the morning. Love should make you smile. And even on it's darkest days......love should make you feel safe, and warm.

If it doesn't.....then something is wrong. "

http://www.committment.com/augustine5.html

Read this womans story - http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4161/is_20050522/ai_n14637313

"If you are in an abusive relationship and want to talk to someone who can help, contact Refuge, the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0800 200 0247 or see www.refuge.org.uk"

S_C

So I'm going to get the Paid Advicenators account so that I can change my username.
My name is "Josie," but the username "Josie" is already used... and I deffinantly want it to have my name in it but I don't want numbers or anything like that
So does anybody have any suggestions for how to make a good username with my nameee?
THAAANKKSS!

All I can think of other than nicknames that include Josie are as follows...

YayForJosie
JosieCakes
JosieRules
Advicenating_Josie
RockerChickJosie

That's all I could think of right now.

does anyone know is blockbuster hires underage persons? im 17 and looking for a summer job to pay for college. aslo any idea how much they would pay? and is there anything i should know about, like tips, if hired this would be my first job. thanks

Blockbuster hires people who are 17, no younger though. They actually pay pretty well. One of my friends was looking to quit her job at the YMCA and go to blockbuster. I think she said they paid $7something or $8something an hour. At least around here.

Dress somewhat casual but nice at the same time. They may ask you if you watch a lot of movies (a lot of employees are asked by customers for ideas on what to rent)...

I have a job, but it's just at a food place so it wasn't that hard to get. Good luck.

then why do people have all these theories that it does?

I couldn't tell you why people have all of these theories. Maybe while growing up they were taught wrong. They could have misinterpreted data. Maybe people just want something to believe in to calm their nerves. All I know is that sperm has touched air and still somehow managed to get girls pregnant - how else can we explain that?

Honestly, I got my knowledge on this subject from the columnist younggrandma. I bet if you sent her something in her inbox she could explain it for you or give you some links.

15/f
Right before I go to bed I go to the restroom. Then right as I lay down I feel the urge to go again, but when I go nothing happens. No matter how many times I use the restroom I still fell like I have to go. I've had this problem for as long as I can remember. During the day I don't have this problem, it's only when I'm tired and want to go to bed.
Could I have an over active bladder problem or what? Should I see this doctor about this? It's so annoying and I'm sick of dealing with it.

I would definitly see the doctor about it. Only a doctor can actually tell you what is going on with your bladder and your urges to use the restroom whenever you're tired and wanting to sleep. You best bet is seeing the doctor because if it's something that is going to keep you from getting sleep or just irritate you (which I'm assuming it really does, or at least it would me) then the doctor can probably get to the root of the problem and help you out.

Does sperm really die when it hits air/oxygen. Like from all these answers ive seen yes, but theres a few that say it doesnt?

whats the truth? jw.

The truth is (trust me on this one) sperm does NOT die when it hits the air.

what happened w/ the clintons like what did they do? i know bill clinton was the presedent and his wife is running for president next year but... what was the "scandal" tht ppl are tlking about?

To make this quick, go to the following site and on the side where it says controversies (number 8) click on that...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Clinton#Controversies

Can you still tan if you put sunscreen on? I need to make sure I don't get a burn, but I hate being so freakishly white!

Haha, yes. I am exactly the same way. I burn like crazy but I'm really white and hate being that way. I use some kind of tanning oil that has spf 15, which is decent. For people like us who are really white and burn spf 30 is best, but it's harder to get at an like that. Then again, I reapply the SPF 15 so much that it probably ends up working like 30.

Anyway just find a tanning oil that protects against burns. If you burn easily make sure to use atleast spf15, although spf30 is best.

But to answer your original question, yes, you can still tan when using sunscreen. It just takes more time to get the tan. At least you won't burn.

I'm getting my first car soon, and my mom said I have only $2,000 to pay for it. So..I did some research and found a car. Here's the info about it:

-1992 Toyota Corolla
-131,000 miles
-$800
-Air Conditioning
-AM/FM Radio
-Cassette Player
-Automatic Transmission
-Manual locks & windows (not power)

The seller also got a new starter and a new battery for the car. Should I buy it or keep looking?

To me it sounds pretty good. I'm not a car expert though. I would like to ask something though. Is it from a dealership or from a person? If it's from a dealership then let don't take my word on whether or not to buy it because again, I'm no expert. If it's from just a person selling their car, tell them you want to take it for a test drive and to a dealership and have them check it out for you. Even see if you can get the person to pay for the Toyota people to check it out.

How long are you going to have the car? Unless it's in top condition it probably won't last very long. My sister got a '97 toyota camri (I think that was the type of toyota) and it lasted her less than a year. Not because it was in sucky condition but because the owners (she got it from people) said they were going to fix it up, made it appear like they fixed it up, but never did. We pretty much got screwed on her first car. It cost way too much to fix it up.

Also, if you have $2,000 to pay for it and have a job you could put a $1,500 downpayment on it and pay monthly on a car that's like, a year 2000. Just a suggestion.

Anyway, the car sounds like it's in good condition, but it would be a lot easier to tell if someone were actually there looking at it. Again, if you're buying it from a friend or even a stranger, make sure you take it to a mechanic and have them check it out and tell you it's okay to buy. You don't want to get screwed like my sister did. That's honestly the only reason I answered this, to make sure you don't get screwed over by someone.

which way down you shave when you shave down there?

Kind of the same as how you would shave your legs or armpits. Against the way the hair is going. Legs is bottom to top, not top to bottom. "Down there" as you put it would be from back to front.

Does a text message cost if you never open it?

Where I am there's a debate going around about that. I sent a text to a friend and I must have hit send one too many times because she received like 5 of them. She said she only opened the 1st one so she wouldn't have to be charged.

I'm honestly not 100% sure, you're best off asking whomever your plan is for. I am currently with alltel and cingular (I have 2 cells right now) so I would go to both of them and find out.

Another way to do it, if you don't get free text messaging (With cingular I get 200/month and alltel I get 500/month) then just check your next bill. For an entire month keep track of how many texts you open and what you (in your mind) should be charged for.

I'm putting together this little notebook with meaningful quotes and sayings. I just wanted to hear what everyone's favorite quotes were. It could be about anything; love, life, death, happiness, sadness, work, friendship, etc. The quotes may or may not be from a movie.

If you have heard some kind of quote that really inspired you in some way, please share. I promise to rate! Thanks!

Life is going to throw you curve balls, it's how you deal with them that matters. Yoy can take a chance and swing, or figure out which ones to let pass you by so you don't strike out.

I said that. I had to write a story for my creative writing class and it just came to me. Hopefully that's how it was. I don't think I heard it anywhere and just remembered.

we walk around talking to complete strangers
laugh for absolutely no reason at all;
have stupid fights that are over in ten minutes;
attempt to dance and sing like they do in the music videos;
have a billion"you-had-to-be-there" times;
gang up in the bitch that has a problem with one of us;
make fun of eachother when we walk into stuff;
act like we're all on crack;
and no matter what happens we're always there for eachother through good times and bad.

^I'm not sure who said it, sorry.

When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already BETTER than them anyways...
Marilyn Monroe

"When I was 4 years old, they tried to test my IQ.
They showed me this picture of 3 oranges and a pear.
They asked me which one was different and did not belong.
They taught me different was wrong."
- Ani DiFranco -

"Hard work is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration" I don't remember who said it, but it's some famous guy. They mention that quote in a few movies I've seen. (Unfortunately none come to mind)

That's about it for now. There's a quote on my column about not being the perfect girl and liking my imperfections - that one is good too!

My best friend and I are extremely close, we can talk about anything. our friendship is alot deeper than most friends. but anyways, her mom has breast cancer and she just found out. she talks about it to me alot, but most of the time i just say "im sorry" or something vague like that. usually we help out eachother through tough times like tht but this is so major, i have no clue wat to say when i talk to her abotu it. wat things are good to say that will make her feel better but not make her cry. thank u :)

I had a friend a few years ago whose mother had breast cancer. I, like you, had no idea what to say or do to make her feel better. The truth is, there isn't really anything you can say. Just let her know that even though you want to hear what she has to say and that you want to be there for her like a good friend, you're unsure of what to say. She's your best friend, she'll understand. She's probably just gratefull to have somenone in her life she can turn to during this crappy time for her.

Just straight out say to her "Sally, I know that what your going through is aweful and I really want to do whatever I can to help you out. I love that you are coming to me with this and that I am some sort of comfort to you, but when we talk I don't really know what to say. So I just don't want you to take my silence as anything bad. You are my best friend and I absolutely hate what your mom is going through. --(if true add in that she's like a second mom to you and that you too wish this wasn't happening). I love you to death, you're my best friend in the world and I wish there was something I could do so you wouldn't have to experience this pain. All I know how to do right now is listen to you, and lend an ear and a shoulder whenever you need one. (If you are religious pray for them and let them know you're praying). I'll be here for you until the end of the world. Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help"

With a little bit of revisions from your end something along those lines might be helpful.

There really isn't much you can say other than "I'm sorry" to comfort her.

I hope everything turns out okay with your friend and her mom.

does anyone know where i can get a hoodie that has stars printed all over it? anyonee? or something like it,just some stores that have that style.

Preppy or punkish?

For punk style - Pac Sun and Hot Topic normall have some. For preppy you should go with Hollister. It all depends on the style.

ok so its super rainy and thundering and we were planning on like a bon fire tonite so should i let them still come ova or no? like tomrrow!

Well, as you should know, a bonfire tonight wouldn't be a good idea. Now if you still want them to come over and hang out inside - that would be totally fine. You could have a movie night or something and do the bonfire in a few days when the weather is expected to be nice.

i have these wierd bumps that are lining the top o my mouth nd my tounge also has them and has become swollen...my neck in the front has also become swollen..any idea about what it could be?

It could be a reaction to something you have eaten. But none of us could know for sure. Even the people on this site who are experienced in the medical field couldn't tell you what is wrong without evaluating you in person. What you should do is see a doctor ASAP, especially if the swelling doesn't go down or the other conditions get worse.

This could be serious and it could be nothing. There is no 100% way of knowing if you don't actually go see a doctor.

I can't swallow pills and so i usually cut big ones in half or something, but these new ones i got taste AWFUL without the coating on it and because it's cut i can taste it. it's so bad i cant even take them, are there any ways that you can like mix them into something so you don't taste much of it? thank you so much

I'm with you on not being able to swallow pills. I recently was sick with something and the doctor prescribed me these teeny tiny pills, I couldn't even get myself to swallow them.

First I'm going to say that it's not good to cut up pills. At least that is what parents and doctors have told me - they could just be saying that though.

The only way I have ever been able to get a pill down was by coating it in chocolate syrup (or strawberry) and then by putting a thin line of syrup from the tip of my tongue to the back. I put the pill on my tongue, take a HUGE swig of water, and before I know it, I've swallowed it.

That is just personal experience for me though.
At one point when I was sick it didn't work for me. So the last 2ish days I couldn't manage to get the pills down. Eventually I got worse and it progressed into pnemonia. Even when I took the pills it didn't help though.
What I've learned to do is just tell my doctor straight up that I can't do pills and I need a liquid or some chewables. It's much easier- just for a side note for the future. I don't care how old I am, I won't take pills if I can help it.

Anyway, to get back to answering your question. Just drink something flavorful, such as kool-aid. Or do what I do with the chocolate/strawberry syrup. It gets you to concentrate on something other than swallowing the pill. I've also realized that it's easier if you're thirsty, like really thirsty. That way you can handle taking a huge swig of water with the pill, then afterwords. You know, like to "make sure" you got the pill down.

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