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humorist-workshop
Please i need to know
I have the best husband in the world i love him so much.....but there is one BIG problem he abuses me....he hits slaps pulls my hair elbows me pushes me....but there is another problem i love him to much to leave him i love him so much so leaving him is not an option....what should i do?
Broken hearted and torn
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Let me start of telling you that he does NOT love you or respect you. He doesn't deserve you either.
If you stay with him you are allowing this to happen. I understand that you think you love him, you may even love him (which is VERY DIFFICULT for me to believe!).
You have two options.
Option 1: Stay. Let the abuse continue. Possibly let him kill you.
Option one doesn't sound too great to me.
Option two: Inform someone! Tell a friend or family member. If they tell you to go to counciling or to try and fix, ignore them, go straight to the police and get his sorry ass arrested! If for some stupid reason he doesn't get thrown in prison for his abuse, at the VERY MINIMUM, DIVORCE HIS ABUSING SELF!!!!! I can not stress this enough. You need to get as far away from this guy as possible.
You know why option two sounds FANTASTIC? Because it stops the abuse! There is absolutely NO reason for you to let this happen.
Please don't take what I'm saying as meanging it's your fault, it is NOT YOUR FAULT! He has a problem and needs to get help. You do not, nor should you stay with him while he gets help. You need to divorce him and get far enough way where he can't hurt you anymore.
There is NO reason for him to be doing this to you. I don't care if he had a stressful day at work, even if he got fired and you said the wrong thing. There is absolutely NO reason for a man to hit a woman and vice versa. Abuse if one of the worst forms of marital issues in my mind. It can lead to unintentional (or technically intentional) homicide. This isn't some simple domestic disupute that can be fixed by a little marraige counciling. You need a plan to get yourself OUT. Even if it means sneaking out in the middle of the night. One day he could get out of control and beat you to death. I don't care if he apologizes after hitting you. If you continue to stay in the relationship you are giving him power.
There shouldn't be a next time. I know you say leaving him isn't an option, but it's either that or continue to get smacked around, elbowed, and abused! NOBODY DESERVES ABUSE!!! NOBODY!!!
Please, LISTEN to myself and all of the others telling you to GET OUT! Trust me, if this guy gets away this he might even move on and do it to someone else.
Please, call the police and/or a hotline for woman experiencing abuse.
Here are some websites I really urge you to visit.
I may only be 16 years old, but I know people who have been in relationships such as yours where they have been abused and/or raped by their boyfriends and/or husbands. Please, get out while you still have the chance. Also, if you have children with this man don't be too quick to think he's only hurting you. Get them away too!
Here are the websites, PLEASE, PLEASE, visit them and GET HELP!! Never wait, because soon might be too late!
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) is not supposed to hurt. Love is not supposed to be about control.
Love should bring "color" into your life. It should make you want to get up in the morning. Love should make you smile. And even on it's darkest days......love should make you feel safe, and warm.
If it doesn't.....then something is wrong. "
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Read this womans story - [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
"If you are in an abusive relationship and want to talk to someone who can help, contact Refuge, the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0800 200 0247 or see www.refuge.org.uk"
S_C
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I know you don't want to leave your husband, but honey, your love for him is not going to stop him from hurting you.
If you stay with him, he is just going to keep doing this to you because he knows there are no consequences for his actions. He needs to know that if he keeps abusing you, something is going to happen that he isn't going to like.
I know that after he does this, he probably says he's sorry and pampers you for a while and says he will never hurt you again. But we both know that he WILL do it again no matter how many times he says he won't. He'll be frustrated from a day of work and feel like beating the crap out of his boss. But he can't because he doesn't want to be fired, but of course, he knows that he can hit you. Because you've never tried to stop him.
Trust me, abuse is not love. You don't hurt the people you love like that continuously.
If you want to stay with him, you need to talk to him about maybe attending counseling or an anger management class or you won't be able to stay with him. If it doesn't work when you're the only one telling him, stage an intervention.
If he doesn't get help, one day he could take it too far and then you won't have to worry about whether or not you should leave him.
I'm telling you, getting him help will help you too. It will save your life, and your kids if you have any.
Please don't let him continue to abuse you. If you're scared and anxious whenever you're with your husband, you can never be truly happy with him because you'll always be worrying about the next time he's going to hit you. Am I going to be able to cover it up? Will my friends notice? Will he put me in the hospital, again?
You need to start a kickboxing or karate or any self defense class so you can defend yourself if ever the situation gets out of hand.
Do this for you.
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Dear Broken,
okay, well apparently he ISNT the best husband in the world, otherwise he would not be abusing you. The next time he abuses you i suggest you call the police. This way, the police take him to the station, and possibly to jail. This will give you time to get over him and leave. You deserve better than to have your husband beat you. What if you get pregnant and he abuses you while you are pregnant and something happens to the baby?
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I'm very upset and sad to hear that a woman is being abused by a man she loves...
I will say this right now, Dont let know man see you cry be strong!!
If a man ever in his life abuses me an laya finger on me and hurts me I will chop his balls off...
I hope you are making the right decision to stay with this man.. But he hurts you..
Sweetie..
Let me tell you this, A man isnt a man if he hits a woman thats what you call a coward, a punk..
The type of man that will hit a woman because he doesnt have the real power to hit a man...
I seen men do this to woman and the only reason the men hit these woman is because they know these woman will not do anything to stop them...
What you need to do is let him know your crazy too..
Lay the lines down now..
If he hits you..
Take a hot pan of water an throw it in his face..
If he hurts you DEFEND yourself only weak ones are the ones that are get abused..
Let him know his shit will be bruised and cut up if he keeps hurting you.. making you cry... breaking your heart!!
Tell him you love him but your not gonna let him continue to destroy your beauty and your dignity...
Its time for him to change and for your to grow stronger.
Imma tell you this a woman is suppose to be independent, strong, has power.
A woman can do just as much as a man can...
If he doesn't wanna change why let him continue to disrespect you in your house???
Regain strength sweetie he may abuse you but he hasnt tooken your strength to knock him straight.
Im with you in spirit
Trina
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i'm in the same situation.
have a serious talk with him about it.
if he doesnt change after that then recommend Anger Managment.
If it gets more serious YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM ,basically its that or end up dead one day! thats how i see it.
x'kayla
good luck:]
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I have to be honest. If leaving him isn't an option then there is no way anyone can help you. The abuse WILL NOT stop, it WILL NOT get better. If anything it will get worse and he will become more violent. People will start noticing marks like bruises or cuts, and possibly broken bones. Soon your life will be a huge lie saying "i fell down" or other lame excuses as to why you have those marks.
If your husband really loved you he would never hurt you. He charms his way with you because thats what all woman abusers do. They are all charming so you will stay with them, and not tell anyone, so they can continue to harm you.
If your really broken hearted and torn then why do you stay with him. Right now you could be in a caring and loving relationship with some one who REALLY loves you instead of someone who just says they do.
If you don't leave him now, he will end up getting less tolerant to stuff you do. Even if its a slight look you give him that he doesn't like he might just end up punching you in the face. From there it will get worse, and you will have to step on glass around him, never knowing what is going to make him strike. You can be dead one day because of him.
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You might love him, but he obviously doesn't love you. Would you ever treat him the way he treats you? No. That's because your love for him is sincere. His love is tainted because he's a disturbed individual who needs help. Staying in the relationship and letting him mistreat you is not a loving thing for you to do either. You're being an enabler. The most loving and selfless thing you could do for him would be to leave him and motivate him to get the help that he needs, so in the future he can experience the true joys of love.
I suggest you seek counseling NOW. There's someone who's far more in need of love and support than he is and that's YOU. You should always put your own well being first. No matter how much you love someone, you are the only person you're guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. You have to learn how to love yourself and treat yourself with respect before you try to give your love to someone else. And right now, you don't know what love is (or you've forgotten what it is); otherwise, you wouldn't stay in this horrible situation.
Good luck. If you need any additional support, please read my profile. :)
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you need to get out of your relationship as soon as possible. he isn't the best husband if he is abusing you. if you REALLY don't want to leave him, try talking to him about it and standing up for yourself telling him to stop. if things get worse, or he gets more angry then you need to get out.
good luck, best wishes<3
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OMG!! no relationship has to suffer abuse! it's just wrong! If he loves you, why would he hurt you? he should be protecting you. I honestly think that you 2 don't make a great couple. It just doesn't make scence to love a guy, but the guy just hurts you. Why would you love him? I would be soo mad at the guy because she would be abusing me!
CONTACT THE POLICE! this is a serious issue and you do not want it to get any worse. Why risk your life for this guy? It could get soo much worse. Call 911 or contact a friend and see if you can spend the night there and think about your relationship.
I hope you make the right decion. You shouldn't have to live like this.
-volleyball2150
PS: i know i wouldn't
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