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E-mail: ashumms121@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Maryland
Age: 16
Member Since: April 28, 2007
Answers: 430
Last Update: September 24, 2009
Visitors: 26566

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19/f
I've been with my bf for almost a year now, and he's incredible: kind, funny, sweet, smart, ect. We have a healthy sex life and it feels like I'm in love with my best friend. Our relationship isnt lacking in the least.
Recently, though, my ex asked me to be back on speaking terms with him. He's known as a man-whore, and the whole reason we broke up in the first place was because he's a known cheater. We've begun talking and I feel really weird about it.
I have no romantic attraction to my ex at all, but there's something that's compelling me to get physical with him (which he's trying to do). I've been able to deny him for a few weeks but I'm really afraid my resolve is getting thin.
I do NOT want to cheat on my bf, and I feel horrible for even thinking about it. I just need to convince myself that my ex is a scumbag, but for some reason I'm still drawn to him.. I don't know why.
Please don't attack me. I feel guilty enough and I haven't cheated on anyone ever. My bf is the LAST PERSON I would EVER want to hurt. So I need some assurance that I can get through this, and advice on how. Thank you.
-M (link)
First off, cut contact with him. Have you ever heard the saying "out of sight, out of mind"? Well, in this case it works. Yes, you will probably still think about him pretty regularly for the first week or two, and you will have to resist the urge to call him, but after that it will get easier and easier to resist the urge and eventually you will stop thinking about him as much. Just think about what your boyfriend would do and say and how hurt he will be if he found out every time you want to call him.


17/f. i'm very shy, & so is this boy that i kind of like. (well, i really just think he is insanely gorgeous, and want to get to know him, but yeah.) he is an art aid, in my art class. i really want to talk to him, but i don't know how. haha. like, how can i flirt with him? how can i even start a conversation with the guy? i was thinking asking for help, & i go up to the art teacher when shes busy, & i hope she suggests that he can help me, but this girl i know always says oh i'll help her. -__- & i ask a billion fake questions, hoping she'll tell him to help me, but she doesn't. hahaha. i catch him looking at me sometimes, he seems like my type, & i mean, what can i do to get him to maybe come talk to me...? (link)
When your art teacher is busy, don't hope she will suggest he help you. Just go up to him and tell him that you noticed your teacher was busy and you don't want to bother her, and want to know if he could help you. There's also less chance of this girl saying she will help you.

Now, onto the flirting business. Compliments are always a good starter. Try to find something that has nothing to do with his looks to compliment, like when he shares a good idea. When you have him come help you, sit close to him, make sure you're wearing a subtle perfume so he can just barely smell it. Brush shoulders, when he hands you something barely brush his hand when you take it. This will also work when he points out something, you point it out too, while simultaneously touching his hand. This will let him know you want to touch him, but it is also subtle.


waht is the best house hold object i can u to masterbate (link)
Well, let's see, Tiffany is right that your hand is the best toy, and if you are a girl, which I am assuming that you are, there isn't much that you couldn't use. As long as it doesn't have any sharp edges or points or any kind of mushy food. I'll just give you a short list:

electric toothbrush
cucumber, banana, squash, etc
handle of a hairbrush
water faucet with the water turned on
you can 'ride' a pillow, stuffed animal, etc
candlestick

Once when I was bored, I made a penis out of art clay, and just put a condom on it.
Just use your imagination.



I'm 15/f, and really fancy one of my guy mates. We're not just friends, we both act like we like each other, and although we have never actually kissed, it's obvious that we're more than friends. He'll do things like tell me I'm beautiful, stick up for me, ask me on dates just me and him, spoon with me all night, try to get us alone, and he's asked me to go to prom with him.

BUT, he is also involved with this other girl. I'm not really sure what's going on with them but I know they've had sex. I don't know if they're relationship is just physical or if he has proper feelings for her.

Also, he'll act like he really likes me, and then do things like take ages to text me back,and not go out of his way to see me at school (we have different groups of friends at school.) I just don't know what to do.

How can I get him more interested in me, find out whether he has feelings for this other girl, and just generally move our relationship forward? Because I really want to be with him and I think we'd be good together but I'm not exactly sure how he feels and things keep getting in the way.

I don't want to just ask him straight out in case playing hard to get would make him more interested. What should I do? (link)
Yes, sometimes playing hard to get is a good thing to do. Guys like the chase. Like, next time he asks you to hang out, tell him you're busy and make other plans. But sometimes, like in this instance, he's not playing hard to get, he's just being wishy washy. If he really liked you for you and wanted to be with you, he wouldn't let things get in the way of that. It seems childish, but in these kinds of situations, you have to play the jealousy card. Let him know he's not the only guy in your life. Ask another guy out or if there's another guy vying for your attentions, give them to him. If this guy likes you, he'll definitely be jealous and will act appropriately. When he acts on the jealousy, tell him straight out that you either want to be just friends and absolutely nothing more or you want to be a couple. Sometimes, you just have to give a guy an ultimatum to get them to act.


I've been working on 'MakeDamnSure' by Taking Back Sunday forever, and I finally figured out all the chords. I literally can not figure out how to strum it, though. It's so complicated. Can someone please help me figure out the strumming pattern for it? (link)
If you go to tabarama.com and type in the song in their search engine, they'll tell you exactly how to strum it. It gives you the up and down strokes and all that good stuff.


Okay so i really like this guy..he's so sweet and funny and everything is perfect! except when we hooked up..he was a bad kisser. he didn't use his tongue at all like it was boring! but i like him a lot and i don't want it to like end cause of that...how can i change his like kissing and make it better? what do i do!? (link)
Tell him "I want you to kiss me like this" and then kiss him how you want him to kiss you.


I was wondering if any of you ladies here can give me some of your best flirting tricks. The situation is still at it's beginning. I work for my local newspaper and so does he. We work in separate departments so we never interact unless I have to give him some documents or pass on the information architecture for a new page or so..... anyyywayy..... there is looking and stuff but i need precise down-to-the-last-detail information! i catch his gaze but never ever on a stalk-y way and he seems to respond... HE IS VERY VERY VERY SHY though i can tell... not the type of shy the stutters if spoken to but kind of like me, he'll seem so cool and nonchalant like nothing is wrong but radiates soooo much tension if i am in his vicinity but not talking to him... so basically he's so composed when talking to me but we're both a little awkward if we're in the same room but not interacting. i am not saying he (or I!) are not nervous talking to each other. oh my god no! that can't be farther from the truth! my stomach flips every single time and i don't know about him but i could imagine his too... the thing is i don't know what to do... I'd rather flirt non verbally than actually talking (i don't want to make the first move)... ps when we do talk its only strictly about work! i.e hi did mr boss leave the new files for me. Thank you. bye. and that's about it... a couple of times before there were situations where he flirted but that was it.

He's physically attracted (and i am sure he knows i am too!) what are some flirting tips suitable for this situation??? thank you! (link)
1. Pull out your lip balm/gloss/whatever you wear on your lips, catch his eye and apply. It'll make him think about kissing you.
2. Reach up with both hands to fix your hair, it straightens your back, pulls back your shoulders and juts your chest out ever so slightly. Trust me, he'll notice the swell, but don't worry, it's not slutty.
3. The next time you hand him a document, barely touch his hand, and wait an extra second or two before you let go of the paper, look him in the eye and smile.


19f
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6mo. I love him with all my heart and we've talked time and time again about how we want to stay together for a good long while/forever. When we first started dating, we began messing around(sex). A couple months ago we decided to renew our faith and decided that we would no longer have sex. Problem is, it seems like we slip up ALL THE TIME! We both want to stop, bc we both feel that itll be best for us to wait til marriage, but everytime one of us will think about it, then we both get caught up and end up doin it again. Have you or anyone else been through this? If so, how did you stop? We've tryed saying we'd direct it into another way such as working out, but that doesnt seem to be too successful. Any ideas or suggestions on how to handle this? Thank you for your help! (link)
Dottie had a very good idea about going out and doing something fun. Think about it. When are you more likely to end up having sex? I doubt it's when you're in a crowd of people. It's probably when you're cozied up at home watching a movie or eating dinner alone. Go out with a group of friends or go out to a movie instead of renting one.


16/f
It seems like I am the luckiest girl ever. I got my period for the first time in may of 2007, and for the past year or so, I have not had any obvious PMS. My mother says that I have not been grumpy ( except for the occasional random bad day), I dont get cramps, breakouts or feel extra tired. The only difference is I gain a few pounds and want to snuggle a lot.
is something wrong? Is this unhealthy hormone stuff or something?
gah! (link)
Don't worry. This is totally normal. Sometimes there are just those lucky girls that don't get those sucky PMS symptoms. Count yourself lucky that you're one of them and go enjoy the day.


k so my period didn't come this month but i've gotten it since the last time i had sex. I just got my new depo shot so maybe that causes u to like skip a period..i did gain like two pounds and i'd rather not have pediphiles examin me down there with cold things unless i have to...advice? (link)
Yes, it could possibly have been the depo shot that caused you to skip your period. It could be any number of things, including stress, which could also cause you to gain a bit of weight.

It would be a good idea to get checked though. It is entirely possible to get your period in your first trimester, although the chance is not very high.

On that note, gynecologists are not pedophiles and if you're having sex at all, you should already have one and be making steady appointments for regular checkups. Women should have their first visit around the ages of thirteen to twenty one, whether they are having sex or not.


Mm'kays, so I like a guy, and we were so much closer last year...his best friend likes me but he's an ass about it, so there's no way I'd go out with him AND be happy. So, not happening.

So, with the guy I like, we're both shy, but I've gotten over that, and I'm very outgoing now and such. But like, arrg, now that I'm not shy towards him anymore--he's completely shy towards me!(I so said "shy" a lot right there) So, I swallow the butterflies and I finally start of conversations, but they fall limp and he's usually nervously looking around and...yeah..awkward situation. But it's not that I feel that he doesn't like me anymore...I often see him looking at me, and smiling when I catch him. There's many instances through the day when it seems he'll go out of his way to be closer to me...but when we engage in conversation, he seems bothered.

So...to my point..I used to watch his soccer games, but now that it's getting to be winter, he joined the swim team. I REALLY want to watch his swim matches, but I'm wondering if he would feel weird if I showed up to them. I'm hoping he'd feel flattered, but I really don't want to weird him out...he just doesn't seem like the type who would be...he's very friendly but I'm just concerned his friend's crush on me has distanced us.

Thanks =) (link)
I would say that he does, in fact, still like you, but he acts bothered when you guys talk because he knows his friend likes you and he doesn't want to be an 'unloyal' friend. You know how you wouldn't date a guy your friend liked unless you made sure it was okay with her first? It's kind of like that, but instead of him having to worry about getting the silent treatment if he makes a move, he has to worry about black eyes and bloody noses.
Suffice to say, he's probably worried about what's going to happen with his buddy if you guys get together because his buddy's an 'ass'. Hope this helps.


OH MY GOSH. Alright so I tried waxing down there because I absolutely hate hair, and it was terrible pain. I don't like shaving because it gets itchy and they grow back in like two seconds. How can i get it to hurt less, or like numb it or something. I mean it's terrible pain. I'll take any advice I can get. Thanks soo much (:

14/f (link)
One of the main reasons that waxing hurts as much as it does is the fact that it pulls and rips at the sensitive skin as well as the hair. There is a type of 'dry' wax that doesn't stick to the skin but it sticks to the hair. It still hurts, but it is significantly less painful. It also helps with the redness afterward. I wish that I could tell you what it is called, but it kind of looks like dry candle wax if that helps at all. I'm really sorry that I couldn't help more with that part. There is also dipilatories(sp?) but they can irritate the skin and can be harmful if gotten into too close of contact with your vagina. I always found that they made me itch like crazy, even worse than when the hair was starting to grow back from shaving. Hope this helps somewhat.


everytime i have sex i get this werid bubble thing on my lower area. At first i thought it was because he was going to hard or because it was dry but i got it twice what the hell is it? (link)
If you mean it feels like there is some kind of bubble in your pubic region, it's probably because some air went into your vagina during sex. When he thrusts in and out of you, your vagina opens up and it is easier for air to get inside. It's a little uncomfortable, but it's not harmful.


Is it possible for a female to tighten herself down there?Is there an exercise? (link)
Yes there is. They are called kegel exercises. You know those muscles that you use to start and stop urinating? Just tighten them for three to five seconds. This is an easy exercise because you can do as many as you want and you can do them anywhere you want from the grocery store to sitting in class because nobody can tell you're doing them.


Hey my name is Tyler.

I love my gf a lot and we tried to have sex...I lost my erection in the middle of it. And now every time we try to do it it happens. It doesn't happen when she gives me oral sex. But i get so worried that I'm going to lose my erection when we have sex that i do lose it!
Now to make matters worse my gf keeps arguing w/ me about it! I just need somebody to help me get through it! She doesn't understand how much stress it puts on me! She thinks that I don't want her when i rly do! I don't want to lose her over this...i just wish that she could understand...someone help me! (link)
Well, your genitals are connected to your brain, so you lose your erection when you believe that you will. It's partly psychological. The same thing happens with girls, in a sense anyway. See, if a girl goes into sex thinking that she's not going to have an orgasm, she probably won't, but if she goes into sex thinking how great it's going to feel and the fact that there is an orgasm in her future, it is much more likely that she'll have one. You have to believe that you're going to stay hard and that you're going to please her. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself, or you will lose your erection from the stress. Your girlfriend is actually part of the reason that you're losing your erection, but not in the way she thinks. When she puts all that pressure on you to perform, she actually makes your penis 'scared' that it won't be able to, so it doesn't. It's kind of like the term 'I already know I can't do it, so why bother?'

The reason that this doesn't happen during oral sex is because there is no pressure on you to make her orgasm, so you can focus all your attention on yourself.

Just tell her that you love her and that she does turn you on, but that you just can't perform under all the pressure she puts you under. But make sure you don't make it seem like it's all her fault, because it isn't. You need to think positive about the situation. Maybe try thinking of only yourself when having sex once to see if you can hold out longer, just make sure that you hold off on the orgasm, or you'll have to deal with the 'premature ejaculator' rep as well.


i like this boy but he doesnt know i like him,,
we say hi and smile at eachother andd stuff
but like sometimes i dont know how to bring up a conversation and when we leave skool i regret standing there and not saying anything
i dont know what to bring up
can somone like gimie something to bring up
thanks

(link)
That's a good question actually, and while you're standing there trying to think of something to say to him, he's probably trying to think of something to say to you as well. Just make a comment about anything that's nearby. It's easy to talk about something that you're both seeing, hearing, etc.

For example, if he has a skater/basketball/hockey/etc. sticker, patch, etc. on his shirt, shoes, backpack, say something about it. Like if you know what team he roots for in football (since football is in season) see who they're playing and mention the game to him. Say how you can't believe how they missed that pass(this works much better if someone actually did miss a pass); or ask him the score of the game(just make sure there was actually a game on).

To tell you the truth, guys will pretty much talk about anything, especially if they're bored (which he probably is right after school waiting for the bus or whatever). I can attest to that. I got tongue-tied whenever I was around this guy I had a German class with and could never think of anything to say and pretty much always made a fool of myself whenever I talked to him. Like, one day I started talking to him about how all these rock groups lead singers were dying their hair blonde after dying it black for so long, and we somehow ended up having a long conversation about which bands we liked and which ones we thought sucked and how I wanted to learn how to play the drums, basically because I knew he played. So he offered to give me drum lessons if I helped him with his German.

See, guys can end up liking you even when you think you're coming off as a total wackbat.


my parents just recently got divorced and me and my bro and dad and stepmom are always looking for cheap fun things to do. do any of ya'll have any suggestions? (link)
bowling
roller skating
taking a one day class
playing board games
renting movies
playing pool
going swimming (indoor pools for winter)


i recently hurt my knee (i have a torn MCL)
and my boyfriend is coming back into town this weekend and im worried about comfort during sex hes a pretty big guy and im just wondering what kind of position might be the most appropriate

thanks (link)
You can try you on top, but on the edge of the bed, couch, etc. Make sure that the side that is hurt is on the outside of whatever you may be having sex on. You can let your leg hang over the side. It's very comfortable, but you will have to use your good leg for all the work.


Ok this is going to be long... ok this all started the beginning of my 8th grade school year ok bascially i was sitting in choir class and this guy Nolan asked me if i would go out with his friend Matt who was right there when Nolan asked me so i said no because i thought they were proabably joking now i'm not ht type of girl that guys ask out alot i've only had one bf and it didnt last long because i moved anywho thats when i started likeing Matt then like a few days later maybe a week or something his friends Corey and Jeremy asked me if i would go to the valentines dance with Matt and i wanted to figure out what was going on so i told them i would give them the answer later but hten i never answered them because i still think they were joking but i kind of think they wernt joking because when Nolan asked me in choir and i said no Matt seemed upset and Nolan was like i know why your upset or mad or something so then i went to the mall one day with my friends and they saw Corey and Derek these guys that are well kind of friends with Matt i mean Corey was there when Jeremy asked me if i would go to the valentines dance with Matt anywho so we got kicked out of the mall so we walked all over then we were at this grocery store outside and all my friends left and i dont know Corey or Derek so i jsut ignored them but hen they came over and sid Matt likes me he jsut wont admit it or whatever so i still dont know if he likes me or what that was all about i mean i've had like two people ask him if he likes me he said no both times now we are both freshmens in high school but i go to a different school then him so i dont see him like ever but i keep having dreams about him and i mean i thought i'd stopped likeing him but i dont know now and i still dont know if he likes me and i really want to know but yeah (link)
Okay, if Matt blushed or looked upset when you said no to Nolan when he asked you out for him, then he may have liked you (he still might). If he did, he probably said no when people asked him if he liked you because he didn't think you liked him because you said no when people asked you if you would go out with him/go to the Valentines dance. He said it so he wouldn't be embarassed since he thought you didn't like him back. The best way to find out if he actually does like you is to just ask him straight out or just tell him that you like him and see what his reaction is. If he likes you back, he'll definitely tell you since you finally admitted it. But if he doesn't like you back, then it won't be a really big deal since he doesn't go to the same school as you so it won't be awkward running into him in the halls.


ok, so, i guess i'll just get straight to the point..
My friend, likes this guy, but only since the start of the year, and she told one of my other friends and one of his friends found out and told everyone including him. i feel really sorry for her.. shes been really upset about it.. but anyways, i've liked him since.. like forever. and i told her today so that she didnt feel so bad.. but the guy who told everyone that she liked him knows who he acctually likes, and.. its not her. but he wont tell us who it is. i really can understand why, but there have been hints that its me.. i mean like, im happy and all but have no idea i dont wanna get my hopes up just incase.. but then theres the problem that another girl told me that he told her that he likes her but shes not a real reliable source.. but thats the story, here are my questions..
..is there any way that i can find out who he likes? apart from internet?
..how do i deal if it is me that he likes?
..how do i deal if it gets out that i like him?
sorry theres so much. just alot to explain..
thanks in advance.. if you understood all of that..
(link)
...Well, you could just ask him outright. It's not a big deal to let someone know that you like them even if they don't like you back.

...It's not something you 'deal' with. It's not a bad thing, which is what the words 'deal with' implies, so if he does so happen to like you, tell him how you feel too. You guys might end up going out. But he's not going to want to go out with someone who won't even admit they like him.

...It's not a big deal if you don't let it become one. If it gets out that you like him and he likes you back, then you're golden. Just make sure it's okay with your friend or she'll think you've betrayed her. If he doesn't like you back in that way, don't fret. It only became a big deal about your friend liking him because she let it show that she was embarassed and people pick up on that and use it against you.

Good luck.




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