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Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
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January 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).
I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
Im a 16 year old boy who doesn't want sex....at all i have a girlfriend and i guess she expects me to be perverted maybe because her other boy friends were. Im a virgin shes not.She be offering me oral sex but i don't want it.then she calls me gay and all these other homo names.
I was raised on not being able to see people kiss at all if i said sex i was slapped,and i never seen a womans vagina ((Porn)) until i was 15 and I gagged when i seen it.Is this normal? am I gay?
You might have a hang up about sex because of the way you were raised. Sometimes parents unknowingly put the wrong ideas in their kids heads in an effort to keep them from having sex. With time, and the right partner more likely than not, you will get over that. When you get over the hang ups, you will no longer find the sex body parts gross.
These things you are telling us do not indicate that you are gay. Your girlfriend is saying these terrible things because she has low self esteem..and is unfairly taking it out on you to make herself feel better. Maybe it's time to move on? Don't be surprised if she takes that wrong too..but you deserve to be treated better.
By the way, not having sex at your age is the responsible thing to do and some girls will appreciate that level of maturity.
ok so, my dad is a complete jack ass, according to me, he is completly insane and its driving me crazy.....thats my dad
my mom is sick, she has manic depression, she bought a bottle of perscription drugs and hid the EMPTY bottle, so this gave my jack ass of a faher the idea that she was on drugs! she said she was giving them to her one friend who is the same way as her, manic depression, he just doesnt choose to go to the doctors.....thats my mom
well they have been argeing since before i was born, i recently found out,
it drives me nuts and my dad, i think and my mom does too, is a total NUTCASE!!!!! he bitches at everything and he even spit on my mom once, another ime, this was like 4 years ago, he pinned her down cuz he got mad. i called him mental! he was like yea yea yea you think whatever the hell you want and go on keep letting your damn mother put things into your head, i said that she doesnt but he wont believe me. they argue about everything, you name it they fight about it, we even went to counciling once, they dragged me and my sister ino it!,THEY FOUGHT ABOUT THAT WHEN WE GOT OUT OF OUR SESSIONS!!! its crazy. my mom is thinking about me her and my sister are gonna move out in a couple of months, im happy, the only problem is that i dont want her to be alone, in a single way, because she is sick. knowing that i know that when we move, im gonna be the one taking care of both my sister and my mom. which i am kinda used to but i dont know i just dont want to have all the stress of getting me AND my sister AND my mom up in the morning, and then coming home from school and cleaning the house and everything!! so my questions are, should i worry? and, Do you think that its a good idea for them to get a divorce? and how do i help my mom and me and my sister deal with my moms sickness once we move out? please dont tell me to suck it up, im only 14 years old and my grandmoher said i shouldnt have to deal with all this and that i have grown 2 years in only 6 months!! help me please there is just sooooo much stress!!
sorry its long but *ill rate 5's for n e one with a good answer
Go to this site and read "The COPE"
http://noetic.oathill.com/bipolar/supp.html
Your grandmother is right. Since you obviously have talked to her about this, please ask her to help. Even if you would stay with her for a while.
Okay, your Mom has a mental illness that needs to be treated by a professional. You did nothing to cause this, and by you taking care of her she will not get better. Do not feel guilty. Obviously your Dad does not understand the illness, but giving him the benefit of the doubt it can be extremely difficult to live with someone with untreated bipolor disorder.
Whatever problems they have are theirs to fix, to live with, or to get divorced over. Even if they try to involve you in some way, there is nothing you can do alone to change things.
If you can, ask to go to a counselor alone--or with your sister. Most will have a lot of information about the illness that your Mom has, and will know what to tell you so you can feel better.
if your man busted and you get on top of him and put it in you will you get pregnat.
I thought I answered this once before. Are you referring to "busted" as ejaculation or breaking your hymen"? Either way, position such as being on top is not the causitive factor, if he put it in you could get pregnant, yes. It will depend on if you were fertile at that time, but you are taking a risk that is one thing for certain.
my boyfriend and i had dry sex, though im just the only one having my undies. i just want to ask if i can get pregnant doing dry sex. also, accidentally, mine and his came into contact but it was very quick. there was no penetration. can i get pregnant by that? im really confused and i really dont know what to do. please help me. thank you so much.
It would depend on all the factors, but there is a remote chance, yes. If you don't get your period on time, take a home pregnancy test. Your best option is birth control no matter what.
Talk About Teenage Drama ! Here's my problem .. i've always been right on time for my period, and it's now been about two weeks since i missed it. I'm only 16 and have been in D.S.S since i was 12. I've gotten into plenty of trouble in the home i'm staying at ( been there 3 years. They actually took guardianship of me ). Now I love my boyfriend very much and i think if i am pregnant then we'd be as ready as we could be but i have a big worry in my head! if i am in fact pregnant, i'm pretty sure i would be kicked out of my house and i don't want to be pregnant in a foster home. So here is my fill of questions:
Would D.S.S take my baby?? Would it be a possiblity to live with my boyfriend and his parents? would they try to keep me away from the father of my child?
Well That's most of it, someone please get back to me .. i'm going nuts =(
I'm sorry you are in a situation where you are filled with such worry, I really do understand. It is quite possible DSS could take your baby and place it in foster care, or try to convince you to give him/her up for adoption. Do not sign any papers for anything unless it is court ordered by the judge.
One thing that is on your side right now is the law. The baby's father has legal rights. I hope that he has not been in any trouble, and would look favorable to the court. If he is not able to provide for an infant right now, in most states family is preferred for placement. So next in line would be his parents or your guardian foster parents (provided they agree to help you).
If you and the baby's father voluntarily go to parenting classes, get a good job and do everything that they would see as favorable, perhaps even if they did take the baby initially they would agree to give him/her back when you are ready.
Before you speak to your foster parents, or DSS, contact an attorney. Perhaps you have one assigned to you already--one that does pro-bono or indigent work as you most likely have no income right now. Do a search for free legal services in your state.
If you are convinced that you want to keep and raise your baby, be persistant and dedicated to doing so. Be polite but firm in your convictions and dealings with DSS. Do not get in any more trouble and prove that you are changing for the better. It's going to be very hard, because dealing with the system is often unfair, but never give up!
Why is sex a sin? I know that its not a sin if your jewish, so why is it when your cathlic?
In any Christian or Jewish based religion, sex before or outside the marriage is considered a sin.
For help on this topic, see this link:
http://christiananswers.net/q-sum/sum-f001.html
I was wondering if theres something wrong with me right now.
- For the last two weeks, I've been very agitated, little things push me over the edge and everythings been bothering me. Usually I'm a happy person, and easy going but latley small things like having to repeat myself, running outa something like shampoo, people tapping there pencils, people singing to songs randomly, certain words+songs, and even people who talk to me, I get very angry with them, and just like they bother me, its like, why won't they just stop.
I'm not depressed or anything, its just thats small things are agrivating me alot more then usual in the past few weeks and my friends and family have noticed it too, is something wrong!?
When I don't get good quality sleep, I am like that too. Depression or other mental disorders can surface in many ways. If it has been going on a few weeks, it's not likely due to PMS. If you know you are going through a stressful time in your life, work it out, take care of yourself and you will make it through.
However, if you can't think of any particular reason to be irritable you need to see your Dr. A physical illness should be ruled out first, then the Dr can look for less obvious causes. There are medications that can help, and if you don't want to take medications, alternative therapies that induce relaxation would be your next line of defense.
I have had what seems like a blister, sore,boil on my labia. It hasn't really gotten any worse. It hasn't really drained or crusted or anything like that. Doesn't even itch. It's only sore now cause i tried to pop it. Any idea what this is? It showed up right after my mestral cycle. Please help. I don't have insurance so i can't go to the doctor and i am not sure what to do. I'm freaking out cause it could be a STD, but it's not following the symptoms of herpes.
Thanks
A community health or public health clinic can help with diagnosis and reduced cost or free treatment. It is important to seek diagnosis and treatment because of potential long term complications.
Two STDs that I can think of that have these symptoms are herpes and Syphilis. Most people complain of pain, tenderness, itching, tingling, and referred or (nerve pain) with herpes, it is usually worse during the initial outbreak. Although, a small percentage of people have no symptoms, or very minor symptoms.
Syphilis sores are not painful, and initially may be the only presenting symptom. However as the disease progresses more symptoms usually surface.
Keep in mind that even if sore heals without treatment you could still be contagious and could have an illness that may eventually make you very sick.
If you seek medical treatment and it turns out to be minor, you have just paid for peace of mind, and that is important too.
English is my a second language. I don't know how I can improve my skils?
Spanish is my second language. I taught a friend English and he taught me Spanish. If you can practice with someone it helps.
I also have a software program that has videos and shows people talking in Spanish, it allows you to repeat the words until you get it right. You can buy the software to learn English too.
Regarding writing English, start with the lower grade books, that allows you to form and practice very simple sentances. A picture dictionary is a great tool too.
As another reader said, watch TV in English. However, turn the captions on in your lanaguage if possible.
Hello,
My sister is a single foster mom for infants in Mass. She told me how she is taking a drug that tricks her body in to thinking she gave birth, so she will start to produce milk. She is planning on breast feeding the infants in her care. If the child does not take the breast (which is what is happing now), she pumps the milk and feeds it to the child with a bottle. The foster care office has no idea, and my sister has never been tested for any disease that she could pass on to the infant through the breast milk. I know that this is against foster care policy, and it could be considered as a form of abuse.
So my question is, should I report her? At best case her foster license will be taking away and nothing else will happen to her. At worst, she could be made an example of, and sent to jail for child abuse, and have to register as a danger to children. She works as a nanny, and hopes to open a day care out of her house someday. So this could destroy her life. If I do this I know that my mother and sister will disown me, and I will never be spoken to again. However are the babies in her care in danger from her? She would not "harm" them, but is being breast feed from a stranger with out permission harm? What do I do?
Thanks
Tess
Does your sister have her own children? I am guessing that she does not. It seems that she may have some deep obsession with a desire to be a Mother, to nurture and nurse an infant just as the Mommy would. I would not find this odd if she had adopted an infant, but since they are foster children and could be returned to their bio parents I do find this disturbing. For some reason this reminds me of a movie "The hand that rocks the cradle".
I am weighing everything you have told me. I can certainly agree that this would be a difficult situation. Yes, the babies could be harmed, not because she is a stranger, but because the medication may not be safe. When one purchases medication off the internet, and from a foreign country there is no way of knowing the quality or even what drug it really is--if a drug at all. This so called drug could be excreted in the breast milk. It is not worth the risk.
I would also be concerned about the mental health of your sister.
If she will not listen to your reasoning and heed your advice (tell her about the safety of drugs ordered online) It leaves you with no other choice but to report her. Sure it will ruin her life, but she knows the rules and she chose to ignore them anyway.
http://www.gsk.com/media/ca_key.htm
Alright well usually I don't let the things other people say to me get to me, but I hear this from pretty much every person I meet. Apparently, I'm really out of control with my "moody-ness". I know I have times (especially once a month haha) and I have bad days but is there any way I can control my mood swings? It's nothing serious but I know I am kinda moody all the time.
Thanks!
Free 5s
Hi,
Something that will help is to find a balance in your life. This balance will lesson the impact of things that make you moody, and after a period of time you will react in a more logical manner.
The first line of treatment in emotional health is to improve your physical health, and improve that "once a month" moodiness that you experience.
Exercise will stimulate your body to produce "feel good" hormones. In addition you should drink plenty of water, cut down on caffine, eat lots of fruit and veggies and try to get 8 hours of quality sleep. This will take a few weeks, but it really is the formula to cope with all the things life throws at us. In addition if you are really dedicated to improving your mood, Yoga and meditation could be part of the plan.
I'm taking my dog to get put down on Friday. She has cancer and is really sick. I've had her for 10 years and it's going to be really devastating. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. Has anyone else had a pet put down, how did you get over it? What's it going to feel like, no one close to me has ever died before!
I firmly believe that there is a place that dogs go and wait for us....
Honey, it's sad, there is no doubt about it. I have experienced the death of a dog many times in my life and the decision to have one put to sleep is very hard. No matter how much anyone tells you it's the humane thing do to, it still hurts. She won't feel pain and won't be sick anymore, but you will miss her yes. See the link below which may help. You are in my prayers.
http://www.homevet.com/bonding/loss.html
I need some advice on advice to give to a friend. Oh and please don't tell me to "just be there for he" because that's really not helping her. Today she told me how much he hates when people ask her what they can do and stuff like that.
Anyways here are her problems:
1. Her mom just got remarried to an asshole this summer, & he really is an asshole. Even I get into arguments with him while I'm over there
2. Before her mom married him, she promised my friend that they wouldn't have to move out of their house. She lied, now they live at his house and she hates it
3. Her old house is up for sale (her grandparents owned their old house, not her mom) and she's really upset about it because she loves that house. She's like always talking about how she watched her grandpa paint over her fav. red wall before he put it up for sale.
4. Whenever she tries to talk to her mom about any of this she isn't much help. She doesn't try to explain anything
Thanks
I personally believe any of us can get along with even the most obnoxious people.
What you can do:
For the sake of your friend try your best to get along with her Mom's husband. It's more important not to argue than it is to be right. Her Mom must see something good in the man, perhaps if you try hard enough you can convince your friend that even he must have some good qualities. If they can build some kind of meaningful relationship everything else will fall into place.
Her Mom is stuck in the middle--between a man that she loves and a child that she loves, it's a terrible place to be.
Well, I'm a horseback rider and I'm at the barn AT LEAST 3 days a week. Most of my barn "family" are the coolest people in the world, but there's one girl who I can't stand. A while ago, we were both at a show and I gave my mare on her lead rope to my mom so I could go get a brush. At the time, this girl's mare was no where near mine, but she had to get ready for her class so she led her towards mine. My mom didn't see the girl's mare and let my mare back up. Well, my mare kicks and she kicked this girl's mare hard. Luckily, her mare was fine, but my mare had a cut. My friend and I tended to it and everything was fine, but this girl won't let me live it down, even though I wasn't even there when it happened. The other day at the barn, she made so much fun of me and starting yelling at me to watch my horse's butt as she led her horse by. I can't ignore it because riding is my thing and as soon as anybody criticizes me for anything (except for my trainer) that has to do with it, I get offended. How do I deal with this without resorting to smacking her repeatedly and vicously with my crop?
The next time she mentions this, tell her that if she is such a good horse person she should always approach a horse from the front, if that's not possible..you must let the horse know you are there before approaching from behind. So really, she needs to be watching. Horses and people don't have eyes in the back of their heads!
Don't get offended. Karma is a wonderful thing, just wait...someday she will get what she deserves. You won't need to do anything. Don't let one bad egg spoil your fun or your horsemanship.
ok, if you read the back of a mountain dew bottle it says like alot of stuff about what its made of, and one of the things its made of is yellow 5, now i heard that yellow 5 kills sperm cells. but i also heard alot of other stuff that is suppoust to kill sperm cells that wasnt ture but i heard this is really really ture. so does yellow 5 kill sperm cells and makes it a less chance to get a girl preggy?
If you are allergic to FD&C Yellow, you could have an allergic reaction. But it will not kill sperm.
A teaspoon full of ejaculatory fluid can contain between 200 & 500 Million sperm.
Guess how many it takes to fertilize an egg and make a baby? (just one)
Don't count on "less chance", unless you have a vasectomy and have a 0 sperm count.....
Uhm, okey..don't get grossed out or anything. But I need help. I'm a female, and most females are expected to shave everything and have no hair. Well, I have hair. Lot's of it. I shave my legs and armpits, and mustach, and everything ofcourse..but lately I've noticed I have hair on my back and stomach and chest, and it grosses me out. And I can't wear the clothes I want to wear, and I can't stop crying about how insecure it makes me feel. So what do I do? I can't shave for obcious reasons, and if i tweeze or use an "epilator" I'll get ingrowns (or whatever they're called) right? Maybe you can get rid of ingrowns or something? Just help me please because I honestly FEAR summer-season now :'(
thank you.
Before you attempt to remove the hair, go to your family Dr to make sure you have nothing medically wrong that is causing excessive hair growth.
http://www.ehow.com/how_290_remove-unsightly-body.html
http://www.folica.com/Depilatory_140_1.html
i have a really bad sore throat. it hurts a lot & when i swallow i can't stand it. my voice isn't gone, but its croaky sort've. when i breathe in er make my neck move a certain way, i get this really bad chest pain, sort've by my bra line in the center of my chest. i have asthma & that stinging feeling you get when you have it, it's almost like that but a bit different. i know it isn't asthma, but i'm not quite sure what it is. any ideas??
thanks!!
Well, since no one can diagnose you on a message board,I hope you really do go to the Doctor. The first person to answer gave you the right advice.
Since you have asthma, each time you get a pharyngeal/throat infection your risk of getting pneumonia or bronchitis may be greater than other people..that may be why it feels almost like your asthma but different.
im 15/f and i've got a really wierd problem. First of all, don't call me an emo or any of that nonsense or i will give you a 1, i am most definantly not.
so when my dad screams at me (about once or twice a day) he usually yells pretty bad, verbally abusing me, it hurts. so ever since i was younger instead of cry or let out my pain, because if i cried he would get even madder at me, i would pinch myself very hard or scratch myself secretly with my hands behind my back or so. i was about 7 when i started this. now this year it has gotten worse, i am getting screamed at for nothing and it has been worse then ever. i started scratching myself until i bleed. not until the skin is red, until blood is dripping. now i have 3 scars on my wrist and too many to count on my waist. i never thought i was a cutter b/c i didn't go cry and slice myself with a blade, i don't think i could ever do that. but i went bathing suit shopping with my friends and they saw the scars, and they were horrified. they had no idea what it was from, i didnt really know they were so noticable but they def. are. i am really happy all the time at school, a cheerleader vb player, a prep and every1 sees me as happy and hyper. i do cry sometimes, so im not like repressing everything. and im not emo, i don't self loath or anything. so why do i do this? make myself burn, sting, and drip blood? i don't know how to stop, i tried to rubber band and it doesn't work. i cnt seek professional help my dad will never allow it. please somebody help. I RATE 5'S FOR REAL ANSWERS
Hi, you sound like a good person and deserve to feel better. It's not right that your Dad treats you so bad. He is the one that needs help! But since he probably won't, you still can..and for now you don't have to tell anyone.
See these pages for more info or call the phone number they will know exactly what to tell you and it is confidential.
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Eating_Disorders/peacelovehope/mutilation.htm
http://www.selfinjury.com/
Self-Injury Hotline
SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program
www.selfinjury.com
1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
Additional Note: The hotline is free, the treatment program that they represent is not. Most insurances will cover part of the cost of treatment.
Well, I'm thirteen and I'm starting to use tampons (or at least trying to start). When I try to insert the tampon, it stings a little because it is dry and solid. I know what to do and how to do it but I was wondering if I will get some sort of infection if I use vasaline to make it go in easier. I mean, if I put a little by my area and a little on the tampon. I won't glob it on, but just enough to make it smoother. Before I experiment with this, I want to know if it is a mistake or if it can harm me. I WILL RATE! PROMISE!
Just a note on one of the other answers. Vaseline and petroleum jelly are the same thing! Anyway don't use vasline because it could harbor bacteria and cause an infection. The best thing to use would be K-Y jelly. Trust me...all nurses would know this :-)
Buy the way, you can buy slender tampons for teens.
is there anything that a doctor can do for an injured rib? I heard that if you fracture a rib or something, there is nothing you can do and you just have to deal with the pain. ♥
Hi,
At one time Dr's taped the ribs or used rib belts, but because of the risk of pneumonia some don't do this anymore. If you are young and active though, the Dr. may allow you to wear a rib belt while awake. The Dr. can prescribe medicine for pain and/or inflammation. One thing that is important if a rib is fractured, there is a risk of the bone causing a punctured lung, initially--and later from movement of the rib. This is why an x-ray is important.