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Helping a friend
I need some advice on advice to give to a friend. Oh and please don't tell me to "just be there for he" because that's really not helping her. Today she told me how much he hates when people ask her what they can do and stuff like that.
Anyways here are her problems:
1. Her mom just got remarried to an asshole this summer, & he really is an asshole. Even I get into arguments with him while I'm over there
2. Before her mom married him, she promised my friend that they wouldn't have to move out of their house. She lied, now they live at his house and she hates it
3. Her old house is up for sale (her grandparents owned their old house, not her mom) and she's really upset about it because she loves that house. She's like always talking about how she watched her grandpa paint over her fav. red wall before he put it up for sale.
4. Whenever she tries to talk to her mom about any of this she isn't much help. She doesn't try to explain anything
Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I personally believe any of us can get along with even the most obnoxious people.
What you can do:
For the sake of your friend try your best to get along with her Mom's husband. It's more important not to argue than it is to be right. Her Mom must see something good in the man, perhaps if you try hard enough you can convince your friend that even he must have some good qualities. If they can build some kind of meaningful relationship everything else will fall into place.
Her Mom is stuck in the middle--between a man that she loves and a child that she loves, it's a terrible place to be.
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The truth is that there isn't a whole lot that you can do for her. I know you really want to be her savior and hero, but unfortunatly, it can't happen that way.
You can't make her mom divorce this guy, move back into their old house and make everything back to the way it was.
The only option she has is to move in with another family member or a friend if it's that bad for her. Now, I don't think that your family can take her in, but that is an option if she can't find anyone else to stay with. You can't make everything right for her, but maybe if you discussed this issue with your parents and asked them if there's anything else that can be done.
As for comforting her with advice, I would let her know that she needs to find a few ways to cope with this. A journal if she already doesn't have one, or talking to a counselor or going into therapy. And on weekends, tell her that she's welcome to stay over at your house to get away from her home life. I know that you really want to get her away from this life that she's living, but I guess that's just what you have to think of as friends. They are their to comfort you in anyway possible when life gets really rough.
-TheTeenGirl
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I may be completely wrong on this but here is a possibility.
Maybe the grandparents made her mom move out.
I don't know why...maybe they didn't approve of her husband, maybe they needed the money.
Its just a thought.
Of course if she has a good mom, she isn't going to say : grandparents are making us move.
Your friend may then be mad at the grandparents.
She may not like moms choice of a husband. That isn't up to her to decide though. Her mom needs a life too. She may want to back off blaming her om for the move though. I'll bet whatever the true story is there is more to it than she is being told. :)
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