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im a scratcher?
im 15/f and i've got a really wierd problem. First of all, don't call me an emo or any of that nonsense or i will give you a 1, i am most definantly not.
so when my dad screams at me (about once or twice a day) he usually yells pretty bad, verbally abusing me, it hurts. so ever since i was younger instead of cry or let out my pain, because if i cried he would get even madder at me, i would pinch myself very hard or scratch myself secretly with my hands behind my back or so. i was about 7 when i started this. now this year it has gotten worse, i am getting screamed at for nothing and it has been worse then ever. i started scratching myself until i bleed. not until the skin is red, until blood is dripping. now i have 3 scars on my wrist and too many to count on my waist. i never thought i was a cutter b/c i didn't go cry and slice myself with a blade, i don't think i could ever do that. but i went bathing suit shopping with my friends and they saw the scars, and they were horrified. they had no idea what it was from, i didnt really know they were so noticable but they def. are. i am really happy all the time at school, a cheerleader vb player, a prep and every1 sees me as happy and hyper. i do cry sometimes, so im not like repressing everything. and im not emo, i don't self loath or anything. so why do i do this? make myself burn, sting, and drip blood? i don't know how to stop, i tried to rubber band and it doesn't work. i cnt seek professional help my dad will never allow it. please somebody help. I RATE 5'S FOR REAL ANSWERS
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Hey. i'm really sorry this is happening to you, you don't deserve this. I know exactly how your feeling because I'm going through the same thing with my dad, when he use to yell at me for no reason I would occasionally start to cry but he'd get even madder and I would use self-injury.
Anyways I think that your using self injury as a way to deal with your dad's yelling.I dont know if you felt this way but when my dad screamed at me I'd feel useless, like I was doing somthing wrong even when I did nothing.
I think the first step is to get professional help or talk to a conselor, or someone, talking helps, it's a big step. Or you could call a hotline:
1-800-366-8288.
Don't let your dad know it's bothering you because if you do he'll know he has power over you and he'll do it even more just to remind you he's the boss.
I'm not saying stand up to him or anything it's not the best way, I've tried that, it didn't end up well. Just dont let him see that it bothers you, if he yells at you stay there until he finishes but ignore him, pretend your actually listening,when he's done walk out as if you dont care. Go to your room, listen to music or like someone here said shred paper into pieces. Just dont think about scratching yourself, also if you have long nails, cut them therefor if you scratch yourself the scars wont last long.
Though I really reccomend you getting help and talking to someone.Good Luck!
Sorry it was soo long.
Jessixa
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Questions like this I would hate to give the wrong answer too because I haven't been there.
If it was any other habbit I would tell you to pinch yourself whenever you felt like doing it but this isnt going to work here. So maybe you could do it opposite.
You have control over yourself. No one makes you hurt yourself. Whenever you go to do it you just have to tell yourself not to. Don't do it no matter what happens. Maybe watch some TV or do homework to get your mind off of it.
For the scars, you could try some scar medicine at a drug store.
Also, what your dad is doing is a big deal. Instead of professional help you can talk to your shcool guidance counsler if you have one or another trusted adult.
That's really all I could do but I hope it helped =)
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well first of all im really sorry your dad treats you this way, you dont deserve it, nobody does! From what you have said, your dad has one mighty temper and verbal abuse can often hurt more than physical. Do you live on your own with your dad or is there someone else who you can turn to? if yes then tell them how your dad makes you feel. Speak to an adult. If you have no other family tell a teacher that you trust and ask for thier help. You need people who can support you and help. Also, maybe you could sit your dad down when he is calm, and rationally and calmly explain how he makes you feel. That you are forced to self harm because he upsets you. If he dosnt understand you need to get proffessional help. Your dad may need help. If he has ever physically abused you then you MUST tell someone for your own safety or things will just esculate. Let your close friends know aswell, people who you feel you can trust. That way, when you feel upset because of your dad's behaviour dont hurt yourself, phone one of your friends and have a cry or a chat with them and let it all out. Talking to other people about your problems is very thereputic and can really help. Also, keeping a diary or a journal is a great way, it worked for me. Write down everything you are feeling and let it all out.
And remember, nobody has a right to treat you that way, family or not. Try and be strong.
Hope i have helped, take care,
kerry x
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Hi, you sound like a good person and deserve to feel better. It's not right that your Dad treats you so bad. He is the one that needs help! But since he probably won't, you still can..and for now you don't have to tell anyone.
See these pages for more info or call the phone number they will know exactly what to tell you and it is confidential.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Self-Injury Hotline
SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program
www.selfinjury.com
1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
Additional Note: The hotline is free, the treatment program that they represent is not. Most insurances will cover part of the cost of treatment.
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You're using self-destruction as a way to cope with your dad. I went through this. You really should talk to someone. Even if you're school counselor. Talking to someone is the best thing you can do. When I went through self-injury, I went to a counselor and now I'm here 10months clean of self-injury. Even if you go to talk about the way you're dad treats you and not mention the scratching, it may help you a lot.
Good luck.
If you need any more info on self-injury, please let me know, I will tell you anything that you need to know.
edit:
try palmer's coco butter. i hear it works for scars. or get scar reducer stuff from your local drugstore. i haven't tried anything for my scars yet, so i don't know what really works.
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Hey, one of my friends dad sounds alot like yours, he yelled at her and she didn't even do anything. She never did anything to him, she wanted nothing to do with him. If seeking professional help is out of the question and since the rubber band trick didn't work, then an alternative is to cut your nails short, then you wont be able to cut yourself and find something else to do when your mad besides cutting yourself. Like, jsut walk away and go practice cheerleading or something. Also, dont let him get into your head, if he thinks that he has the power to make you mad or sad, then he'll do it. The only reason he is doing this is to let you know that hes the boss, and all you have to do is make him understand that what he is doing isn't bothering you and hes just wasting his time! Lol, well i really hope i helped and good luck with your dad!!!
Its not your fault(what he's doing to you) so don't punish yourself by scratching your wrist or waste----:)
Love Ya'll, hope i helped,
Vanessa
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Well you really should seek professional help for this. Try talking to your counselor at school. You don't have to tell him/her everything. Just how you feel about your dad. It's confidential and they can't tell anything without your permission. Or you could try standing up to your dad. It might not be the best thing, but don't let him just walk all over you like that. Even though he's an adult, like you said its verbally abusing you, and he doesn't have a right to do it. You're better off talking to another adult. If its absolutely NOT possible, try doing other things when he yells at you..like writing about it, or even cutting up pieces of paper. I know that sounds dumb but i used to do it when i got really mad/upset and it works. This probably wasnt't what you were looking for but I hope i could be somewhat of help. good luck!
♥ Evy
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The website says that the hotline is free. :)
You need to get help from somewheres. The thing is, professional help is available right in your school! Talk to a trusted teacher, a counselor, or even the school nurse about it. Make sure that before you say anything, your information will be kept confidential. Getting help is very important. You've identified the scratching as a problem and you want to stop, which is the first step. Believe it or not, many people can't do this. The second step is seeking help.
If you are worried about a breach in confidentiality at your school, or think you will have a hard time talking about it with someone face to face, I would suggest calling a hotline for cutting. Even though you don't cut, they'd either be able to help you anyways, or refer you to someone that could. Good luck.
Self-Injury Hotline
SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program
www.selfinjury.com
1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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