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Q: I dont know what's wrong with me. To start off, all my life I've had this majorly bad anxiety problem. When I was around 2-3 years old, I stopped speaking to my dad completely. Looking back on it, I assumed it was because he had a bad temper, and I was just afraid...because after I stopped talking to him and he realized that I stopped talking to ONLY him, he threw me against a wall and shook me and screamed at me .. I dont know. Thats all I know. I have a mom, 2 sisters, and 2 brothers, all older than me. Everybody in my family knows what happened, but I dont remember what happened. I only remember up to the part where he picked me up and started shaking me. And its like I blocked out the rest of it or something... because I cant remember it at all.. and I know I was young but how come I remembered everything up to that point? It's like I blocked out the most traumatizing part... and i dont know why...

But after all that happened it took awhile for me to start speaking to my dad again, I went to counseling... my parents tried to use sympathy, bribary, forcefullness.. just to get me to speak to him, but nothing worked...and I was only a little kid...but then it started progressing. I started to be silent around not only my dad, but my entire dad's side of the family. Within a year or two, I began to speak to my dad again... but I still was silent with my dad's side of the family, and then I slowly started to stop talking to my mom's side of relatives...
Well, this problem still effects me today. I'm so quiet. With my friends it will take me a while to warm up, and with new people its difficult to get words out. I'm doing so much better, especially with people outside my family... but its still hard to live with.

so.. to get to the point...I'm 16 now... and what happened still affects me, even if I dont remember it. It's like I know exactly what happened but I'm blind to it. I cant explain it. I'll be distant from people. I talk okay to my dad now, everything is completely average in my home life. My dad's worked on his temper so everythings good. But yesterday at easter dinner at my grandmothers I was thinking about something. I'm still SO silent around that side of the family. I'll joke and laugh with them at times... but when it comes to my uncle on my dad's side, he kinda scares me, and i dont know why. He gets really close... and its not like my other uncles on my moms side who laugh and joke around with me. My dad's brother is just really strange...he'll hug me... but not normally... and he wont let go, and he'll hold me and play with my hair if he's standing behind me... so today after all these years of noticing this, I got up the courage and talked to my oldest sister about it all. She said she feels the same way around him and she wishes she could remember if something happened, and she told me that my other sister has said something about it before too. I asked her if anything had ever happened to them with him and she seemed hesitant... but she's like "i really cant remember..." and it felt weird because ... I don't know if something happened between me and my uncle. All my life I've been terrified of older men. That's one reason why I wonder. Another reason is why I went through years without talking... why I isolated myself from everyone but my mom, my brothers, and my sisters for the longest time... and that can't just be because of my father. Something had to have happened to make me stop talking to my dad's entire side of the family. Also, I never used to be silent around my dad's side...I used to talk non stop, like any other kid would. Then I just stopped. No one knew why... and I still don't know to this day why.

I have a boyfriend too, of course I was a little hesitant when we started to do sexual things. We've never had sex before but we've been together for almost a year on and off, and he still hasn't got me to orgasm. Im wondering. If I was molested when I was younger...[which im still trying to figure out] is it possible that me not orgasming with my boyfriend has something to do with that? I can orgasm fine on my own, but whenever I'm with him it doesnt work... we've tried.. and tried... and nothing works. Even if I blocked out what happened, do you think being molested would still affect me like this? EVen if I couldnt remember anything at all? I know something happened to me when I was younger... and its more than my dad throwing me against a wall. Its affecting me... and i blocked it out, just like I blocked it out when my dad beat me. I cant explain it.. I just know theres something about my past I dont know.

So please.. someone help if you have any information.
Is there any possible way I could have blocked it out?
Also, is there any way it can have an effect on my sexual life, since I havent orgasmed? He told me he got all his ex's off before...so its not him whose the problem... its me. Whats wrong with me?

im sorry this was so long.
ill rate. ill do anything. please just help me with this all.

well first of all i just wanna say that im glad your getting better.

I think that your uncle's behaviour is not normal and maybe he has molestered you (im not making accusation but it would explain your behaviour) Also, your sisters seem to have the same kind of hesitant feelings towards which gives the impression they may have been abused aswell. I think that you may have been abused by your uncle at an early age and when your dad lost his temper and held you against the wall it may have brought back memories of what (if he did) your uncle did. This may have caused you to feel resentment to your dad's side of the family and that you cannot trust them. This is probably why you stopped speaking. You feared that by speaking you would draw attention to yourself and that you may be abused again. You really need to talk to someone you can trust about your feelings like your mum or sisters or brothers. Tell your closest freinds who you feel you can trust and, if you are very close to your bf, tell him also. Explaining what you may have bee through will make it easier for you both as secrets like this can put a strain on nthe relationship. Being molestered and sexually abused can definatly have an impact on your sex life and will most probably be what is preventing you from organsm or becasue you are not confortable and relaxed. Due to the possible sexual abuse, you may have become 'wary' of men , especially when doing intimate things as they may remind you of your past. You may not be able to remember what happended but subconciously you will which may be why you cannot orgasm with your bf. You can on your own so that shows that you do not physically have anything wrong with you and that is either your menatl state (not that im saying you are menatl) or your bf is not doing it right.

I think the best thing you can do to improve your situation is to talk to a psychiatrist. You could take your mum or one of your sisters for support or even a friend or your bf. Talking to a proffessional will help you understand why you acted and while you feel this way. They ae really friendly and make you feel at ease and they will not make you answrr anything you dont want to. They are trying to help you and you can ask for a female one if you are not confortable with males.

Hope i have helped and i hope you find the answer you are looking for,
kerry x

p.s. if your uncle or anyone else eer tries ANYTHING that is unconfortable for you and you feel uneasy tell them that you are not ok with it. Dont ever feel you are to blame for other people's behaviour!

Q: (14/f)
This boy I'm fond of and I are going to be doing a singing duet for our school's talent show. We just haven't decided on a song yet. Anyone have any ideas? Preferably cute songs not rock or anything of that nature.

P.S. We both play guitar if that helps

well there are quite alot of Disney songs that have nice duets. Alladin's 'A whole new world' is a good one. or some from beauty and the beast. Other than disney songs i dont really known any others. All the duets i sing in my lessons are for two females so that wont really work :D I know that disney songs may seem really babish to you but some of them are really ncie and most have male and female parts so have a look. There are so many to choose from!

Hope i have helped,
Kerry x

p.s. good look!

Q: My boyfriend and I go to different schools. Before we started going out, we started talking about 2 months ago. Before either of us had feeling for each other, he told me he was going to prom with a girl from his school but they are 'just friends'. So last night, was his prom with that girl. I was wondering, was it wrong for him to take her when i'm his girlfriend? I know they are just friends but people have told me that he was being a jerk by taking her instead of me. So what do ya'll think?

There is nothing to worry about. Your boyfriend had already promised the other girl that he would take her to the prom 2 months ago and he insitis that they are just friends. It would have put the girl in an awful position if he had cancelled with her in such short notcie and she would have been devastated. Put yourself in her shoes- how would you feel if your friend cancelled on going to the prom with you even though you had planned it months in advance? Remember that your boyfriend is with YOU and he chose to be with YOU not the other girl so dont worry! Im sure they are genuinly friends.
As for the people who have told you that he is a jerk for not taking you, they are simply saying that because they think that is what you want to hear and are trying to make you feel better in their own way.

If its playing on your mind alot then talk to your boyfriend about it and just express that you are not mad at him but cant help but feel a little jealous. Im sure he will understand and put your mind at ease.

Hope i have helped,
Kerry x

Q: ok well im preety good with working out and my weight has been the same for like 4 months but i eat just because i feel like it and i dont know what i can do to stop so i can loose weight if anyone has any ideas please help me. ill rate 5's

i have the same kind of problem in that i eat because i feel like it. If you want to try and stop eating as much then try and keep yourself busy. I actually forget to eat sometimes because i am so busy. (but you should never skip meals-eating healthily is the best way to stay fit and loose weight) You should make yourself a menu with the foods that you like and concentrate on having three big meals (breakfast,lunch and dinner) or 5 or 6 small meals (smaller portions fr breakfast,lunch and dinner with snacks) Eating pleanty of fruit and veg is always good and drink pleanty of water as it washes toxins from your body and therefore reduces the amount of toxins and fats that are stored in your body (e.g. cellulite) Having foods that increase your metabolism will help you digest food quicker and more effectivley so less fat is stored (and it will burn calories) Try drinking grapefruit juice, greentea and lemon juice. Apples are also a good diurectic as well as banannas. Garlic can also be good for boosting your metabolism and loosing weight.

If your feeling hungry then dont restict yourself from eating, just dont eat AS MUCH as you usually would. Like if you waant a chocolate bar, dont deny yourself, just eat 1/2 of it or so. Remember, eating healthy is the best option!

Hope i have helped,
kerry x

Q: (17, Female) I already work at a candy store & am supposed to be working there over the summer, too. They are very nice to me & I enjoy working there. However, I am also very into theatre & I found out about an audition for a theatre for grades 9-12 that does performances on issues important to teenagers & then has discussions with the audience after. If you make it once you audition, it is a paid job (I do not know how much though). I really wanted to audition, but I found out that the training will be for one month over the summer mon-thur 1-6 pm. I did not realize it was that big a commitment& it becomes a problem because that would probably interfere with the job I already have. The candy store is open form like 10am-5pm, & they said we could be working longer days over the summer (which was good for me, b/c I need to work). Howevere I really want to do this theatre thing, but I can not & do not want to quit the job I already have. The theatre program sounds like a really good experience but it's just so time consuming. I don't know what to do & I just don't want to quit the job I have (I already told them I'd be working over the summer). What would you do in this situation?

wellyou need to realise that you have to choose which one means more to you because you cant have it both ways. You can keep your current job and pass on the audition, you will be earning money but will have lost the opourtunity do thatre, or you could go to the audition and quit your job. I must admit, it is a risk as you may not get the audition. If i was in your situation, i would explain to your current employer that there is an audition for a theatre production and it is really important to you as you love theatre. Hopefully they will understand and leave your job open for you. BUt if not, i would quit your job and go for the audition. There will always be ordinary jobs available somewhere but having a chance to be in theatre is not and you say you love it so follow your dreams! You dont want to regret not going to the audition and if you dont cut it (and i think you will :D ) then you could always go back to the shop and ask if there are any jobs available again. If not then im sure there will be pleanty of summer jobs in most shops.

Hope i have helped,
kerry x

p.s. if you choose the audition good luk! :)

Q: Well today i got my hair cut. I asked her to blow dry it also. But when she blow dryed it, it came out so shiny and healthy lookin and even relatively straaight, but if i do it at home it comes out like fryed looking. Also, before she blow dryed it she put this cream stuff on it.

Does anyone know why it came out so nice looking, and any techniques i could use while blow drying my hair to make it come out the same way.

And if anyone knew what the product or what a product is called, how much it is, and where to find it to make your hair come out healthy looking after blow drying it?

Sry this has so many questions.
I'll rate 5's for anyone who trys.

everyone comes home from salons and wishes they could get that salon look and i know how annoying it can be! You should try using a vent brush. Divide your hair in sections and brush from underneath your hair, blowdrying the top side as you move down the hairshaft. To get best results, use a nozle on your hairdryer so it dosnt burn your hair. As for the product, the best thing you can do is ask your hair stylist what products she used and if she has any tips n you should style your hair. Most stylists sell the products they use but be warned, they can be expensive. I use Trevor Sorbe straightening mist before i use straighteners and it will give the same effect when using a hairdryer. You should also use some kind of heat protection spray to limit the damage to your hair.

Hope i have helped,
kerry x

Q: I don't know. My voice is really weird.

To start off, I sing as a soprano.

Usually, I can sing as high as D6, but in these past few days, I could barely sing higher that B5. I don't know what's happening. Is it possible for someone's range change all of a sudden? I'm a little scared. Can anyone explain or give a theory of why this is happening?

hey well this has happened to me before, but my range isnt as high as yours. It is most probably because your vocal chords are sore and you may have been singing too much. Just rest your voice for a little while. It is very unlikely that your range will change this quickly unless you have damaged your vocal chords somehow, but its probably nothing. Drink pleanty of water and eat healthily as it will soothe your throat. Grapejuice is always good. try having hot lemon juice in the morning as this soothes your throat and helps the kicksart your day.

If it dosnt get anybeter in a couple of weeks, i suggest you go to your doctor and explain your situation as you may have a virus or other type of infection.

Hope i have helped,
Kerry x

Q: im 15/f and i've got a really wierd problem. First of all, don't call me an emo or any of that nonsense or i will give you a 1, i am most definantly not.

so when my dad screams at me (about once or twice a day) he usually yells pretty bad, verbally abusing me, it hurts. so ever since i was younger instead of cry or let out my pain, because if i cried he would get even madder at me, i would pinch myself very hard or scratch myself secretly with my hands behind my back or so. i was about 7 when i started this. now this year it has gotten worse, i am getting screamed at for nothing and it has been worse then ever. i started scratching myself until i bleed. not until the skin is red, until blood is dripping. now i have 3 scars on my wrist and too many to count on my waist. i never thought i was a cutter b/c i didn't go cry and slice myself with a blade, i don't think i could ever do that. but i went bathing suit shopping with my friends and they saw the scars, and they were horrified. they had no idea what it was from, i didnt really know they were so noticable but they def. are. i am really happy all the time at school, a cheerleader vb player, a prep and every1 sees me as happy and hyper. i do cry sometimes, so im not like repressing everything. and im not emo, i don't self loath or anything. so why do i do this? make myself burn, sting, and drip blood? i don't know how to stop, i tried to rubber band and it doesn't work. i cnt seek professional help my dad will never allow it. please somebody help. I RATE 5'S FOR REAL ANSWERS

well first of all im really sorry your dad treats you this way, you dont deserve it, nobody does! From what you have said, your dad has one mighty temper and verbal abuse can often hurt more than physical. Do you live on your own with your dad or is there someone else who you can turn to? if yes then tell them how your dad makes you feel. Speak to an adult. If you have no other family tell a teacher that you trust and ask for thier help. You need people who can support you and help. Also, maybe you could sit your dad down when he is calm, and rationally and calmly explain how he makes you feel. That you are forced to self harm because he upsets you. If he dosnt understand you need to get proffessional help. Your dad may need help. If he has ever physically abused you then you MUST tell someone for your own safety or things will just esculate. Let your close friends know aswell, people who you feel you can trust. That way, when you feel upset because of your dad's behaviour dont hurt yourself, phone one of your friends and have a cry or a chat with them and let it all out. Talking to other people about your problems is very thereputic and can really help. Also, keeping a diary or a journal is a great way, it worked for me. Write down everything you are feeling and let it all out.

And remember, nobody has a right to treat you that way, family or not. Try and be strong.

Hope i have helped, take care,
kerry x

Q: Hi, my name's Kylie. I'm a virgin and tomorrow is going to be my "big day" with my boyfriend. He's also a virgin too so we're both nervous a little bit. I'm only worried about two things though. I'm a really clean person but for some reason my vaginal area [vaginal lips, my inner thighs too] are like a brownish color! I don't even know how that happened! I'm so clean, I don't understand. Does anyone know how it's like that and will my boyfriend be grossed out by that at all? :/ Thank you.

hey well first of all gud look and have fun! Your bound to be nervous so just try and relax and enjoy it. Its also really good that your boyfriend is in the same position as you so you can go through it together. As for the brownish marks, dont worry its not because your unclean. Some girls have a darker pigmintation of skin in that area so its completely normal. Also, your boyfriend will think its completely normal as well and will be so happy to be with you that it wont matter.

Hope i have helped,
kerry x

p.s dont forget the rubber! :D

Q: hello =) i'm trying to convince my mom to buy me a dog. my friends dog had puppies so he's down to his last puppy =( its a german shepard. if you have any ideas on how to convince my mom to get me a puppy or if you have any dog care websites, i'd appreciate tonz! thank you =)

well i had the same problem and ended up getting my white german shepherd! Your mum really should let you because these dogs are a wonderfull caring and secure breed and they are very intelligent. Help your mum out around the house and make lists of how much it is going to cost to feed your dog a week and write down all the things you will need to buy for it. By doing this, you are showing your mum you are organised and ready to have a dog. She is probably feeling that she will be the one who ends up looking after the dog so convince her otherwise. Prove how responsibe you can be and perhaps make a deal with her that will encourage you to take responsibility for the pet. E.g. a deduction from your allowance (if you have one) if you do not care for your dog or something that will prove you are serious about caring for a dog as it is a big responsibility, especially for a puppy. show her pictures of the breed and tell her how cute they are and how well behaved-its true they are! however, my dog can be very cheeky and i advice taking a German Shepherd to a training course to encourage good behaviour (although they are really clever dogs, mine only took two days to be toilet trained!)

Here is a good website that may help you to realise the responsibilities of caring for a pet:

http://www.germanshepherdrescue.co.uk/about-german-shepherds.html

good luk and i hope i have helped,
kerry x

Q: i'm 23/ f. i've been with this guy for almost 4 years. i was diagnosed with ocd 6 years ago. for the last couple of years i've started to feel like we've lost the spark we once had. i'm not very attracted to him anymore and the sex is terrible. but its like this: for a few days ill agonize over how im going to tell him its over, then the next few days, i'm happier and want to stick with him. i know with time, things arent as exciting, but is it wrong of me to want to have passion and feel "in love" all the time? most of the time i'm miserable. i love him very much, he's funny and sweet and practically worships me. i want more than anything to be happy with him, because he's already told me that if i were to leave him, if we were to break up for any reason, he could never be with me again. i dont want to make the biggest mistake of my life because i can't get aroused by him. what if we break up, he completely changes the way he looks, i'm all hot for him again and he won't have anything to do with me? i feel like im being immature and shallow, and i feel like maybe my ocd (i have more of the impulsive thought kind) is causing this. telling me constantly that i don't want to be with him anymore. blocking my real feelings, making it impossible for me to enjoy being with him. making me feel guilty. i need help. i'm sorry that this is not brief.

well your boyfriend obviously cares very much for you as he has stuck by you through thick and thin and has already expressed that he does not want to be without you. Maybe you should sit him down and explain that you feel you have lost interest and confront him, calmly and honestly telling him how you feel. Or you could try and spice up your lovelife and make things more exciting. You obviously care about him because you dont want to hurt him and there must be something there or else you would never have got involved with him. I think that yor OCD maybe causing you to feel confused over your feelings towards him and that you are obsessing over your feelings towards him. i think that you need to write down on a piece f paper all the things that drew you to him at the begining of the relationship and focus on that. You need to let him know how you are feeling and explain that your obsessionals/worries may be to blame for your feelings and ask for his help. He will realise that you care about him and want to help make the relationship how it used to be.

If, after he knows how you feel and you are both trying to improve your relationship it is still getting worse, i think you should have another chat and clear the air, letting each other know exactly how you feel and whether you should continue with the relationship. The best way to make a relationship work is comunication and honesty, so its worth a try.

Gud look, i hope i have helped,
kerry x

Q: I am now 16. When i was in 7th grade i started cutting my wrists....in 9th grade a was "an alcoholic" after i got over drinking i started taking pills...and this year...i started vomitting after every meal. I need help i know...but how do i get it and where...my sister is 17 and pregnant and just recently left home to her 38 yr. old bf "she ran away" my mom is so carring....she doesnt know i do this and it would kill her if i told her because she is under so much stress...i dont have many close friends because i have a bf and i spend all my available time with him.....he doesnt know either i alwayz wear long sleeved shirts and i always say i have to pee after i get done eating...now it is such a habbit that when i eat"if i eat till im full" it starts comming up on its own and i cant control it...its too late...plz someone tell me what to do????

Confused!

I have friends who have been through the same kinf of things you have wrote about so i understand what you ae going through.

First of all, and i dont want you to take this the wrong way, but deep down you are despertly in need of attention. That is not a bad thing. Everyone wants to be noticed and to have some attention so its not selfish. However, you need to tell your mum. I know its hard and i know you would do anything to stop her from getting hurt but she will feel even more hurt when she finds out, and trust me, i mean when not if. Your mum will want to know how you are feeling and want to help you, you are her daughter and probably the most precious thing in the world in her eyes so you must tell her. She may be upset but she will be glad that you can trust her and you are seeking her help. Let her know that you realise you need to get medical help and know that your behaviour is extremely harmful. Without your mum, your just going to get worse.

Secondly, from hearing f your eating habits, you seem to have an eating disorder and i hope to god you dont feel you are fat or are not in control because you are not fat and you are in control. I have friends who are annorexic and i know the struggle they have been through. You need to go to your doctor, with your mum to support you, and explain your problems. He/she will understand and can help you recover.

Thridly, you are seriously putting yourself in harmsway by your drug abuse, and thats what it is. DRUG ABUSE. you could easily have an overdose and die and nobody wants that, especially not your boyfriend or your mother so please, get help! you can talk to psychiatrists online if there is no way at all you can get help near you but you must try.

To stop vomiting automatically, try not to binge eat, just eat healthy amounts. You need to tell your friends and your boyfriend and let them know that you vomit after meals. That way, they can try and help you resist vomiting. If you continue, you will loose alot of weight and become painfully thin, trust me, i know how it feels. You could die.

Nobody would want you to put yourself through the agony you have over the years and you need to tell those who you love and who love you so they can give you support. Visit your GP and dont give up trying to get help!

Also, i think that the theory that you have an addictive personality may be true. And it is most probable that you suffer from depression.

Here are some websites that may help you:

1. http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro04/web1/mcurtiss.html

2.
http://be-healthy.net/articles/depression/beyond-the-blues.htm

I desperatly urge you to get help and please tell your mum and others close to you! Take care.

hope i helped
kerry x

Q: my subject basically says it all.
Does anyone know what foods to eat when you're trying to eat healthy and need to eat stuff that increases your metabolism? I've heard grape fruit and green tea, but what more?

lean protiens and vegtable can increase ur metabolism. The best foods to increase your metabolism and help you lose weight are fish, dark green leafy vegetables, tomatoes, blueberries and other fruits, whole grains, and at least 8 glasses of water a day. As you are alreasy aware, greentea and grapefruit helps and lemons as well. A good idea is to put 1/2 of lemon juice from a freshly squeezed lemon in hot water every morning before you eat anything and every night before you go to bed as it speeds up your metabolism and rmoves toxins from yur body. It tastes horrible at first but once you get used to it, its not that bad and trust me, it works wonders!

Hope i have helped,
kerry x

Q: my bf fingered me (barely)for the first time. he put two fingers in, but it was only like 1 inch. the following day i was bleeding, however i didn't feel any pain. is it still possible he popped my cherry?

yes he probably has 'poped your cherry'. Some girls bleed the first time they are penetrated but only a litle bit. If you are bleeding alot and you are not on your period then you should check where you are bleeding as he may have been too rough.
And about the barley fingered you, dont worry, it was probably his first time doin it and didnt wanna hurt u-he will get better. :D

Hope i have helped
kerry x

Q: all of my best friends have boyfriends and theyre always so busy with them that i get left out of everything. theyve stopped being such good friends we dont really talk much and when i do they dont listen. its really stressful and i dunno im not jealous of them im happy they have someone but shouldnt they still care about me? they dont know what its like to be in my situation and when i try to explain it to them they just shut me out. what do i do?

i know exactly how you feel. My three best m8s have boyfriends and i always feel left out because i dont. your friends r gonna want time alone wiv their bfs and gonna wanna do double datin n stuff wiv each other and i know its horrible wen you cant get involved, especially if they dont even listen to you! Try and get them on thier own without their other halfs and explain calmly how you know they have other things going on in their lives at the moment but you are feeling really left out. Explain that they dont have to choose you over thier bfs but that they need to remember that you need them too. Maybe you cud suggest having girly days out now and again and make some new friends by joining a club or something. That way, if you are feeling left out, you will have other friends who may not have bfs and dont have that commitment.
Finally if they do not realise how alone they are making you feel, write them a letter sayin evrything you are feeling and if they still dont listen, mayb you should think of making new friends who do apretiate you and make you feel involved.

hope i have helped,
Kerry x

Q: ok I wanna start tanning, so my question is, how do you do it? Like what do you wear? Underwear? Or do you go naked? And do you cover your eyes with something? And for how long do you need to do it? And how many times? Have you ever done it, if so, what were the results?

Just any details you could give me on tanning.
Thaank you. ♥

you can get a tan a number of ways-you dont have to use sunbeds. Having a spray tan is a great way to have a tan without the risks of skin cancer and premature aging. I had one the other week and it came out a really nice golden brown. If you are quite pale like me, you should get a paleish tan as a really dark one can make you orange. You can either go into a booth wer you stand ther and a machine sparys you but these can go wrong easily. I went to a proffesional salon and had a spray tan. you have to go topless and you can either wear a thong of your own (that you dont mind gettin orange) or some give you a paper thong. You wear goggles in some and others just tell you to close your eyes. Its not embarrasing like you may think, the staff will put you at ease and ther is no need to feel insecure, staff have seen women(and men) in all different shapes and sizes and evryone is beautiful and unique. Or you could buy a fake tan you can apply yourself but these are often streaky and orange so make sure you get a good one which is streak-free. A moisturiser with a hint of fake tan in it are usually good as they dont have as much fake tan in them and the moisturiser evens it out while smoothing your skin! You dont need to go on sunbeds to get a gr8 tan. Its our chocie but there are so many risks like skin cancer and premature aging and you will be really sore afterwards as you will have bad sunburn and you will be red as the tan only develops a couple of days or even weeks after you went.

Hope i have helped,
kerry x

Q: Ok, so prom is in 40 days and I need to fit in/ look gorgeous in my prom dress.

Question is; Is it possible to loose weight in 40 days?

If so, How much weight will I be able to loose?

I already eat healthy and walk for 20 minutes each day, I do crunches and sit-ups.

What else will I need to add to lose weight in a month or so?

Thank you for helping.

hi well first off i bet ur looking forward to your prom, i knw i am mine is in a few weeks as well so i know how you feel. You can still loose pleanty of weight in 40 days but you need 2 remember to do it healthly and that way your skin will look gr8 and ur hair too! Dont try these 'loose weight quick!' kind of diets because you will just put the weight straight bak on. If you loose the weight healthily it is average to loose 1-2lbs a week so in 40 days you should have lost around 10 lbs. It all depends upon the amount of weight you want to loose and your current weight because everybody's metablosim is different. You should maybe try and write a fitness and diet plan that you can stick to and mnitor the amount of weight you have lost. Also, you could set yourself realistic targets of the amount of weight you want to loose in a day or a week. Another suggestion is going for longer walks and start jogging or cycling as these help you to get trim and improve your heart. You could also join the gym but its not a necesity. Remember to eat pleanty of fruit and veg and drink loadsa water as it washes toxins out of your body which may lead to the build up of fat and it improves your skin. Grapefruit, lemon and greentea speed up the metabolism which means your body will be able to digest food more effectivley and not as much will be stored as fat.

Gud luk and hope you hav a gr8 time at your prom.

Hope i have helped,
kerry x

Q: Hi,

I have an issue with obsessive thoughts. Someone will tell me one small bad thing about their past, and I won't be able to get it out of my mind for weeks. I know this sounds really messed up, but it really affects me. For example, my friend told me he used to have a addiction with porn. I keep thinking about this, and it upsets me. Yet I don't know why, because it's NO big deal.
Someone suggested this may be a sign of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I don't do any actions over and over, it's only the thoughts that I have a problem with. Could this be a serious problem? Is there anything I can do to stop these thoughts? I don't really want to see a psychologist or whatnot if I can do something on my own to help myself. Just curious if there's anyone else out there that knows what I could do.

Thanks for your help.

hi.ur question is really interesting and i must say that the answer i give may not be the correct one as i am not a proffessional who knows what they are talking about. However, i will try and help.
OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by obssesions and OR compulsions (repetetive behaviour) so just because you do not act on your obssesions does not necesarily mean you do not have OCD. You say you become upset over small things people tell you about their pasts so maybe on some deeper subconcious level, they remind you of bad things that may have happend in your past. You may be a 'Thinking Ritualizer' who usually have repetitive thoughts or images, know as thinking compulsions, or maybe a worrier/Pure Obsessional. here is a website that may help:

"http://www.enotalone.com/article/4882.html"

Obsessions that you have may well be the begining of OCD or perhaps OCPD (obsesive compulsive personality disorder)and i strongly advice that you go to your GP and explain your sitiuation and he/she can then decide whether they think you need to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist. It may be that you are just stressed and have alot of built up tension that is being released as these obsessive thoughts but it is best to get medical advice to be on the safe side.
It is a good idea to try and minimise the amount of stress in your life by relaxing and doing deep breahting excersises to 'clear your mind' and relieve tension by expanding the lungs. Also, you should try visualisation and medetation to get rid of your stress.

Hope you are successful in finding your answer and try not to worry, im sure everything will be ok.

hope i have helped,
kerry x

Q: well .. i have a lot of hair "down there". i cant get a bikini wax just because. is there a way to shave it off or do something else to get rid of it? when i shave it, i get bumps though and its irratatingn. anything will help! 5's for good answers.

You could try 'soothing' the area before shaving. This can be done simply by having a long hot soak in the bath! your skin must be wet and try shaving in the opposite direction to the hair growth, usually shaving upwards towards your stomach is best. Ensure that you use shaving foam and read the ingredients, it may be that you are allergic to some of them such as lanolin. Another suggestion is using a hair removal lotion like 'veet'. It is easy to apply and you just wipe it off with water after a certain amount of time-no worries! Shaving causes many women to have irritating bumps so its totally normal but waxing is definatly easier. If you dont want to wax becasue of embarrasment, dont worry. You can do it yourself in the confort of your own home. They are easy to get hold of in stored like boots or superdrug and are not expensive. Also, it dosnt hurt! its like plucking your eyebrows-you will get used to it.

Hope i have helped,

Kerry

Q: So this girl who was suposed to be my BESTFRIEND ratted on meh and my closest friends for drinking. Now I lost my best guy friend in the world and im never aloud to talk or see him again. my parents have a restraining order on him and Its killing me because I love him so much and would do anything for him..

Im not sure weather I should forgive my so called "bestfriend" or not...

what do yu think i should do?

Obviously your feeling hurt and betrayed by this friend and i know that it is easy for me to say you should forgive her, but try and put yourself in her shoes. She was most probably concerned about you and your safety and didnt want anything to happen to you. Telling your parents was probably what she thought best to do in the situation so maybe you should consider how much you must mean to her. With regards to your male friend, it may be a good idea to compromise and work with your parents. Again they are only doing what they think is best for you but maybe if you feel you must see him you should explain how much you like him and that you understand the concequences of your actions. Also, maybe lay off the drinking-you dont need to drink to be socialble.

Hope i have helped,

Kerry

bio

Hi, my name is kerry and i am a student in college. I would love to pursue a career as an advice columnist as i love to listen to people's problems and advise them on what to do. I am not judgemental and i enjoy helping people, in fact my other possible career choice would be in psychiatry or pediatrics. The main reason i registered on this website is to gain experience of giving good advice and see if this career is for me, as well as helping those who i can :D