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so called "best" friends
all of my best friends have boyfriends and theyre always so busy with them that i get left out of everything. theyve stopped being such good friends we dont really talk much and when i do they dont listen. its really stressful and i dunno im not jealous of them im happy they have someone but shouldnt they still care about me? they dont know what its like to be in my situation and when i try to explain it to them they just shut me out. what do i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
i'm going through the same thing, except for my friends don't ignore me for there boyfriends, they ignore me for each other. they all hang out together and never call/invite me. sometimes i just get so depressed, i sit in my room all night. but what you have to do is stay happy and don't act depressed around them. you should plan for a "girls night" in advance so they don't already have plans with their boyfriends. You should also try to become friends with all of their boyfriends, so you might be able to hangout with them and not just be a tagalong.
good luck =)
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i know exactly how you feel. My three best m8s have boyfriends and i always feel left out because i dont. your friends r gonna want time alone wiv their bfs and gonna wanna do double datin n stuff wiv each other and i know its horrible wen you cant get involved, especially if they dont even listen to you! Try and get them on thier own without their other halfs and explain calmly how you know they have other things going on in their lives at the moment but you are feeling really left out. Explain that they dont have to choose you over thier bfs but that they need to remember that you need them too. Maybe you cud suggest having girly days out now and again and make some new friends by joining a club or something. That way, if you are feeling left out, you will have other friends who may not have bfs and dont have that commitment.
Finally if they do not realise how alone they are making you feel, write them a letter sayin evrything you are feeling and if they still dont listen, mayb you should think of making new friends who do apretiate you and make you feel involved.
hope i have helped,
Kerry x
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It sucks being the one on the outside!
I know because I've been there, but I have also been the one with the boyfriend...
I don't know where you are in life I just know that the best thing to do in a situation like this is to stop and reflect on yourself, ask yourself: Would I act like them if I were put into the same position? If you've never had a boyfriend then REMEMBER this feeling that you have. That way at least you can try not to act the way your friends are acting in the future.
Just know that trying to talk about the way your feeling with them won't get you anywhere, it will only make you hurt more, feel isolated, and break away from your friends. The will feel bad for you and also look at you as a D-O-W-N-E-R. (Nobody wants to be orbe around a downer.) They can't relate to how you feel becaus ethey don't feel the way you do, and lets face it when you're in the same situation you won't be able to relate 100% to someone with no boyfriend either.
The best thing you can do for yourself and your friendship is:
1. Hang out with and make new friends
(I am not saying ditch your other friends, but take this as an opportunity to add new ones.)
2. Try not to be negative when you are around the friend with boyfriends (because that will come back to you the day you get a boyfriend)
3. Fight the jealousy (it makes people say and do crazy things)
You can't put the blame on other people, your day will come, but don't wait for it...have fun in the process and difficult as that might be.
You are your own best friend, if you can't be no one will! Good Luck!
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If they treat you this way, maybe you should think about how good of a friend they really are. People change and you're not always going to be friends with the same people.
I know people that are like your friends. I ask them to do something and they can't because of their bf/gf. Well just remember that the next time they would like to do something. If telling them how you feel doesn't work, show them.
The ones that come back to you after the break up, aren't true friends. It's the ones that are there the WHOLE time. Boyfriend or no boyfriend.
♥ Evy
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Normally everyone in a relation ship goes threw the faze of only wanting time with there significant other. Just try to talk to them and if they try to shut you out don't let them, have them hear you out on how your feeling about all of this.
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Hey, I understand how you feel my 3 bestfriends did that to me a lil while ago. Anyway you should try seeing if you, your friends, and there boyfriends can hangout together. That way they can spend time with both you and their boyfriends. If that doesnt work try joining some other friends for lunch some that dont have boyfriends all over them maybe you could haangout with other peopple Until you get your own boyfriend, but remeber when you get a boyfriend how it felt when you where left out and try not to leave the new friends out.
Good Luck!
Love Ya'll
Vanessa
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I know that can probably be annoying when a friend gets a boyfriend and suddenly he becomes the center of attention.
But I'd probably wait until your friends come to you and keep taking every chance you can to spend time with them. Eventually they'll get sick of being around the same person and the "honeymoon" phase will be over.
It's probably not that your friends don't care about you, they are so drawn in to their boyfriends that they just don't really pay attention to what's happening around them. They probably don't really see that they've been hurting you. If you confronted them with your feelings, then the only thing you can do is wait and maybe try taking this opportunity to make new friends or talk to another friend that you havn't seen in a while.
-TheTeenGirl
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You are going through a change. You have to understand that there is a certain limitation to what a person can do. Right now, their relationships could be their priority. But that does not mean you are not one of their priority.
It is normal to feel left out. It does not just happen when your best friends have boyfriends. It can happen when they have a common interest and you don't.
As a friend, you might want to try to understand that your other friends are more "occupied" and have a certain amount of priority for their relationships.
Of course they still care about you. They might not be able to spend as much time as they used to. But they still care for you.
As for your friends, shutting you out isn't a very nice thing to do. Could it be the way you approach the issue when it is brought up? Perhaps you were being whiny about it? Or maybe you put it in such a way, it sounded like you were complaining? (Not trying to pin point here, ok. Anything is possible).
If that is not the case, then i suggest you reconsider to what extend you want to hold your friendship with your bestfriends. I'm not saying that you should stop being friends with them. I'm just saying that people change all the time and normally things change together with priorities.
Hypothetically, if in any time, your best friends breakup with their boyfriends, and suddenly decides to come back to you, i am sure you will know what to think.
Good luck!
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