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should I turn in my sister to foster care?
Hello,
My sister is a single foster mom for infants in Mass. She told me how she is taking a drug that tricks her body in to thinking she gave birth, so she will start to produce milk. She is planning on breast feeding the infants in her care. If the child does not take the breast (which is what is happing now), she pumps the milk and feeds it to the child with a bottle. The foster care office has no idea, and my sister has never been tested for any disease that she could pass on to the infant through the breast milk. I know that this is against foster care policy, and it could be considered as a form of abuse.
So my question is, should I report her? At best case her foster license will be taking away and nothing else will happen to her. At worst, she could be made an example of, and sent to jail for child abuse, and have to register as a danger to children. She works as a nanny, and hopes to open a day care out of her house someday. So this could destroy her life. If I do this I know that my mother and sister will disown me, and I will never be spoken to again. However are the babies in her care in danger from her? She would not "harm" them, but is being breast feed from a stranger with out permission harm? What do I do?
Thanks
Tess
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Does your sister have her own children? I am guessing that she does not. It seems that she may have some deep obsession with a desire to be a Mother, to nurture and nurse an infant just as the Mommy would. I would not find this odd if she had adopted an infant, but since they are foster children and could be returned to their bio parents I do find this disturbing. For some reason this reminds me of a movie "The hand that rocks the cradle".
I am weighing everything you have told me. I can certainly agree that this would be a difficult situation. Yes, the babies could be harmed, not because she is a stranger, but because the medication may not be safe. When one purchases medication off the internet, and from a foreign country there is no way of knowing the quality or even what drug it really is--if a drug at all. This so called drug could be excreted in the breast milk. It is not worth the risk.
I would also be concerned about the mental health of your sister.
If she will not listen to your reasoning and heed your advice (tell her about the safety of drugs ordered online) It leaves you with no other choice but to report her. Sure it will ruin her life, but she knows the rules and she chose to ignore them anyway.
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i definitley think that you should bring it up to the people in charge just for the good of the baby im sure your sister would never want to hurt the child but i dont think its a great idea buying off the internet but thats her choice anyways you should probably tell someone to make sure the perscription is ok and the child is healty hope i helped good luck
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hey! ok this is a bit of a tough situation, but your sister is family... she obviously loves you and trusts you if she told you what she is doing! if you go behind her back and make the rest of her life hell, then not only would she and your mom never forgive you, but i don't think you would ever forgive yourself.
your sister is not doing this to harm the babies (even though it is possible that she might, but she doesn't see that possibility), so why should she get in so much trouble over it? she is doing what she THINKS is the right thing to do, so you need to make her realize otherwise.
research the issue a little more, and see what kinds of laws exist and even examples of women who have been caught doing this, and what has happened to them. show her all this information and tell her that you are worried that the rest of her life could be ruined if she gets caught. tell her that she could also be putting the kids in danger, and she loves them and cares for them so why does she want to risk such a thing? you have to make her realize that it is wrong and illegal, and it is not worth the risk! why would she risk her entire future just to breast feed the babies? nothing is wrong with baby formula... im sure it's a lot safer than some pills bought over the internet! you never know with drugs... they always come up with all kinds of studies that show things about them years after they have been out on the market! so if she cares for the kids and her future, tell her to stop this nonsense right away!!
give her some time... talk to her about it ALL the time for the next couple of weeks, maybe one month. if she won't listen to your mom, explain everything to her and have her help you convince your sister! if even then it doesn't work, then you can go ahead and contact someone and report her. good luck!! :)
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***EDIT***Given the fact that she does not have a prescription for this medication, I'm inclined to say report her. Medications bought over the internet, especially those from other countries, are not regulated by the FDA. Your sister really has no idea of what she might be taking. It could be dangerous for the child and even her as well. For the child's health, you need to let someone know what's going on.***EDIT***
The medication your sister is taking is supposed to only be available by prescription. Most likely, she had to see her doctor in order to get the prescription and the doctor probably ran tests to ensure it would be safe. However, if what your sister is doing is against foster care policy, you have an obligation to report it. Most states allow anonymous reporting. Since you're concerned about your family's reaction if they find out you reported it, this would probably be your best bet. I'm including a few phone numbers for you. You can call them for information and to make a report. All are toll-free so they won't show up on the phone bill.
Mass Child Abuse Reporting Line-only available during business hours
1-800-KIDS-508
Child-At-Risk Hotline-for Mass, available after buiness hours
1-800-792-5200
National Child Abuse Hotline-available 24/7
1-800-4-A-CHILD
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