I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65031
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F/13
Ok heres the low down this guy that i went out with for like a week went to this one dance without me (I couldnt make it) and then he called me on his cell and asked if he could dance wit someone cause i wasnt there and i said yeah cause I thought he ment one of my friends *we are all good friends* BUT he ment his ex and she was all over him and yeah i was angry
but over the weekend he kept asking if i had broke up and i never did but he called it off and he's been going out with his ex ever since *like 2 months ago
Now she told me they have broke up and im happy cause i wanted to get back together wit him but i was just starting to get over him and i dont know if he likes me any more even though my friends say he does and i dont want his ex to be mad at me cause shes a friend of mine What should I do?
should i forget about it or go for him ???? plz help i rate (link)
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Personally? I think you need to forget about him. If we're looking at facts here, he danced with his ex, who quite clearly he had feelings for and it seems to me that he waited to get with her on an occasion where you couldn't be there to see it and he could get away with it. After this, you are quite rightly upset about it and HE breaks up with YOU?
Frankly, this guy didn't seem to have much respect for you the first time round and I doubt very much that he would the second time either. After all, what is to stop him taking advantage of another opportunity like that?
Sometimes, however hard it is, it is best to leave the past in the past and try to move on. In your case, I think you will be a lot better off without him but I can tell you quite easily that you deserve better than him and you won't find a better person if you are with him.
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I really like this guy but there is one problem, he has a girlfriend. I want to go out with him, but I don't want to ruin his relationship with his girlfriend. That's just not what I do. He is really easy to talk to and he is really cute. The other guys who I have had crushes on were really cute but shallow. But this guy is different. What should I do?
signed,
confused (link)
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I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm afraid there really isn't anything you can do. Keep being a good friend to him and if he breaks up with his girlfriend some point in the future then make sure you are there for him.
I know how hard it is to like a guy you just can't have but believe me, you will be a much better person to wait it out as a friend and be there for him if and when this relationship ends. Then, when he's ready to move on, tell him how you feel and see if he's interested. You seem like a really nice person and judging from what he has said about you, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
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ive been w/ my bf for about 8 months now .. and i love him soo much. When i hang out w/ my ex bf and see him w/ his new gf i get kinda jelious, but i dont like him like that. we're best friends and hes like my brother but i dont no what to do. I feel like i might have feelings but i dont no. (link)
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What you are feeling sounds very much to me like it could be one of two things.
Firstly, it's possible that you feel a little possessive of him. Not because you have feelings for him in 'that' way, but because you see him as a brother figure. When you have been the centre of someone's attention, as a sister can be to a brother, it can be quite difficult to see them suddenly give that attention to someone else. Not to mention, you possibly have a little trouble seeing him with someone, not knowing if they will end up hurting him.
The other possibility is a sort of 'girls prerogative'. When a girl is no longer with a guy (normally when she has been dumped), she reserves the right to want to see him suffer miserabley for a time and want to see him missing her. It's kind of hard for him to fulfill this obligation to you with another girl on his arm! I'm not saying necessarily that you want to see him wailing his heart out or anything but maybe you wanted him to miss you a bit more before he moved on. This doesn't make you a bad person because as far as I know, pretty much every woman wants her ex to feel like this when they're no longer together.
Whatever the reason, try not to worry too much. The point is that you love your boyfriend and you want to be with him.
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Me and this guy Alex dated before, then he dumped me and said that hes too frigid for me and that im always depressed, when i was only depressed for 2 days because my friend killed herself...Then 1 day ago he said "I shouldnt have dumped you" and stuff and im like "Well lets see if we can go back" and he goes "Huh i cant just 'go back out' with you again..." and im just like "Wow you really cant think" because i thought that he would get the hint of asking me out again... But i think hes too shy or something...i know that he likes me and he knows that i like him, but can someone please help me see that he can ask me out again? Thanks!!! (link)
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Are you sure this is a decent guy for you to go out with? Maybe I have misunderstood the situation so forgive me if I am wrong but you're saying that your friend killed herself and that one of the reasons he broke up with you was because you were upset over this???? Either he is incapable of human emotion or he's just the most unsupportive boyfriend in the world. Ever.
If you really want to ask him out again then you can make sure you are light hearted and happy around him as much as possible, so he can see you're not depressed. At the end of the day, however, it needs to be his decision. It sounds as though he is still interested so maybe you just need to ask him what it is he expects of you, if he wants to go out with you but thinks he can't 'just' do it.
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My best friend just told a huge secret of mine. Do I have the right to be angry?
The secret wasn't that big of a deal but it kinda meant a lot to me.
Thanks in advanced! (link)
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You do have every right to be angry but try to keep it proportional to the secret that was told.
I understand what you are saying. It's not so much the secret but the principal of what happened. The fact is that she betrayed your trust and if she was prepared to do it over something to small, would she do it with something big?
You need to talk to her about this. No shouting or screaming but just a discussion. Tell her that she betrayed your trust and that you no longer feel you can trust her to keep any secrets because you just don't know who she will tell. She will probably apologise and promise never to do it again. Whether or not you decide to trust her with secrets in the future is entirely down to you but I will say this. In my experience, people who tell secrets once will do it again and the bigger the secret, the more they are likely to tell because they cannot resist the delicious urge to gossip. You can test this simply by making up a secret which will not reflect badly on you in any way and tell it to her. Then find out if she tells someone else. After this, you will know whether you really can trust her in the future.
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I'm Melissa, and I'm 16 years old
So I'm crazy jealous (to a really large extent) and I don't know how to get over it. If anyone has been through it and somehow SOMEHOW overcome those horrible feelings, let me know what you did...Because I'm working on it and I'm afraid to push my boyfriend away at the same time. He's really understanding, but I'm assuming that there's only so much that a person can take.
Missy
Thanks (link)
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You know, all jealousy is rooted in insecurity. You are afraid that your boyfriend will leave you for another girl because you don't believe, deep down, that you are good enough for him.
The problem is, the more jealous you get, the harder it is to overcome, as I'm sure you have already found.
I used to be the exact same way. My boyfriend used to spend a LOT of time working around attractive girls and I was constantly scared he'd meet someone prettier, more fun, more intelligent etc etc.
The thing you need to realise is that your concerns are what they call a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, by worrying that he's going to leave you for another girl, you might actually push him into the arms of another girl.
There's not a lot you can do to control feelings but you can try to control your behaviour. He can't see how you feel if you don't show it and by hiding the way you feel from him, you should start to slowly get over your feelings too. I know that might sound strange but it worked wonders for me.
Basically, every time you have a (what I call) 'paranoia moment', think back to all the wonderful times you have shared and all the times he has reassured you with how he feels like you. When negative "But then again" thoughts come in, squash them with another thought. Then, disctract yourself. Do whatever you can think of to make yourself think about anything else. Get a few friends together and go out. Play a game. Read a book. Write a book! It doesn't matter what you do, within reason but don't phone him, text him or check up on him in any way. If you're with him and he starts talking about a girl mate of his, constantly reassure yourself in your mind. Say to yourself over and over "Just a friend. She's just a friend."
It will be really tough to do this at first and you may not be able to completely convince yourself that everything is okay to begin with because it takes a lot of practise to control strong thoughts but it can be done.
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17/f
k so i have problems with guys. none like me! But people tell me i'm good looking, and fun, but then why don't any guys like me?! people say all that stuff like 'i know someone taht likes you' but no one ever seems to...help! wut can i do to be more attractive to guys? (link)
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Perhaps the problem isn't with the way you look or how fun you are. Perhaps it's just that you lack self confidence.
All manner of surveys have been conducted and apparently men are more attracted to women with confidence and a nice smile than any other type. Obviously, without knowing you, it's difficult to tell how confidence you are but if you're constantly riddled with self doubt over why guys don't seem to like you then you be putting them off without even realising it!
On the other habd, if you act really confident and are surrounded by friends a lot of the time, it could be that there are plenty of guys that like you but they're intimidated by you. Another very common problem, unfortunately!
If you want to get a guy that you like, try just being open and friendly with him and before you speak to him, try to mentally invisage what you would like to have happen and imagine yourself giving off lots and lots of pheremones, which will help to pull him towards you.
In the meantime, please don't worry too much about this, because having a boyfriend is not the be all and end all. If you worry too much about it, you will miss out on the great opportunities that come with being single. I can promise you there WILL be guys that like you and there are possibly already a number of them with their eyes on you. Try to keep an eye out for signs they do and keep sending out those pheremones!
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Alright well usually I don't let the things other people say to me get to me, but I hear this from pretty much every person I meet. Apparently, I'm really out of control with my "moody-ness". I know I have times (especially once a month haha) and I have bad days but is there any way I can control my mood swings? It's nothing serious but I know I am kinda moody all the time.
Thanks!
Free 5s (link)
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Moodiness can be caused by a number of things. Stress, tiredness, illness, even the Contraceptive Pill can be blamed.
If stress or tiredness could be to blame, it's possible you just need to find some sort of balance in your life and an outlet for the negativity caused by the stress and tiredness. If this sounds reasonable, you could try a yoga class, which helps to centre you or you could try taking up a hobby that you could indulge in when life gets a little too much. For more severe problems, you should speak to your doctor if you think counselling might be useful.
Unfortunately, in cases of illness, there's not a lot you can do besides try to stay positive and get well and as for the Pill, if you are on it, you could speak to your doctor about trying a new form of it, as different versions of The Pill can cause different side effects.
If none of this could be the cause of your moodiness, you need to try to turn your brain to looking at the positives in life, rather than the negative. If we examine life too closely, it can really upset us and we have to remember to try to laugh about things, rather than let them get us down, however hard that might be. There is almost always a positive to every bad situation so whenever something upsets you or makes you mad, take a minute to try to work out what the silver lining might be. It's a lot harder than it sounds, I promise you that but when you get used to thinking like this, you should see yourself smiling a lot more.
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HELP! i just got my period for the like the third time! is there any way that i can calculate when i'll get it next?
ILL RATE 5s!
♥ linds (link)
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In theory, you should get your period around every 28 days, so you could mark it down on your calender. However, if your period is irregular then it will be harder to predict. Try to look for warning signs, like cramps down there, an increased number of spots (due to the increase in hormones) and fluctuations in temper.
If you get really fed up with it, try to see your doctor about getting put on the Pill. It is mainly used as a contraceptive but it also helps to maintain a regular cycle. They won't put you on it if you are under a certain age a lot of the time but this is down to your doctor so try having a word and see if there is anything they can do.
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I have a lovely female chihuahua who will soon be 9. She's had two operations only; one was a routine desexing operation, the other an operation to remove an anal gland. This was a while ago though, and she seems to be in very good health, perhaps just a bit plump.
Anyway, the vet told us a few weeks ago that she had a heart murmur, at the stage of 2 or 3 out of five (I can't recall) and stressed that she would likely start showing symptoms soon. He warned us to look out for uncharacteristic laziness and reluctance to exercise, and wet coughing -- if we spotted either of these symptoms, she was to be started on medication straight away.
Now, we haven't seen any of these symptoms yet -- she still _loves_ to go for walks -- but she does tend to snort more often now. It might just be old age or the particular physiology of the chihuahua, but I can't help but be nervous.
Two questions:
1) What _does_ a wet cough sound like exactly? I've just realised I'm not certain.
2) A dog with heart murmurs on medication -- can she still have a good, longish life? I guess my concern is her quality of life -- I would hate to see her well-being deteriorate rapidly after this diagnosis, it would pain me so much. (link)
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In answer to your questions:
1) A wet cough is basically another term for a phlegm producing cough. Like when you have a bad cold and you cough stuff up, pretty much. Sorry to be graphic!
2) If the medication is stuck to strictly, there is no reason he shouldn't go on to lead a happy, normal life. I had a cat with a heart murmur and he lived a long and happy life and I imagine the same goes for dogs.
I'm sorry that your dog is ill but please try not to worry too much. As long as he takes any medication as and when required, he should be fine.
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How possible is it to get pregnent from precum? (like having sex for like 20 seconds unprotected because both the guy and girl like the feeling of it without a condom) Do people actually get pregnent from precum? because i never heard of that happening. any info on precum is helpful thanks (link)
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I couldn't possibly give you a percentage, I'm afraid but it is definitely possible, as much as getting pregnant when he's climaxed inside you.
When a man gets aroused, sperm is secreted from his body. It's a natural reaction and as long as that sperm is getting inside you, there is every chance it could make you pregnant. The only reason there is a slightly lower chance of getting pregnant without him climaxing is because there is less of the sperm in you. However, they are ALL avid swimmers, regardless of how many they are!
No matter what, you should ALWAYS use a condom when you have sex with a guy, especially if you do not know his sexual history and whether or not he has picked up an STI or STD from anywhere. You should also be on the Contraceptive Pill at the same time (what the Dutch call going 'Double Dutch'), because condoms are less effective as a contraceptive than the Pill, which is 99.9% effective.
As long as you stick to a good method of contraceptive, you shouldn't need to worry.
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Over the past couple of days I've had the wierdest illness. I wouldn't really consider it the flu, I've had the flue before plenty of times and it was not like this. On Sunday night I started getting a soar throat and the back of my neck was starting to hurt. By the end of the night my whole neck & lower head was hurting and I could barely even turn my head. My whole body ached and I was getting the chills. Monday and tuesday was the same thing. Sore throat that totally affected my whole neck & head. Have you ever had this or know what its called? (link)
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It could be a bad throat infection or perhaps just a different strain of flu.
Either way, you should really see your doctor about this as soon as possible, as he might be able to prescribe some anti-biotics for you. Take some paracetamol too, to help bring down any fever you might have and hopefully numb the pain in your throat a little.
Drink plenty of fluids and rest as much as possible.
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it might be a little weird but i think i might have multiple personalities. well at least one other. its not dangerous or anything but like, one time i found myself making dinner when the last time i checked, i was working in my office. im not the kind of person who zones out often but im worried about this. sometimes i dont remember writing in my journal and i find entrys. just a few words. or other times i find things in my bedroom rearranged and my most recent incident was i looked down and i had a totally different outfit on. this happens almost every other week.
could i possibly have another personality? what should i do? (link)
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I don't think you have another personality but it does sound as though you might be suffering from 'memory slips'.
Try talking to some of your work colleagues or friends or relatives and see if they have any idea about what is going on. Next time something happens, just ask them if they have noticed anything strange about you lately. You don't have to elaborate but it might be worth finding out if your friends have noticed a change in your behaviour during one of these 'memory slips'.
In the meantime, I strongly recommend you see your doctor, to make sure there's nothing wrong with you neurologically. It could be something completely reasonable, like stress or something but you just don't know what sort of situation you might get yourself into when you 'slip' so best to see if there is anything that can be done as quickly as possible.
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Ok, well I'm 14/f and I'm not sexually active at all... i don't even kiss guys (it's a personal choice). But I do crazy stuff with them if I'm at parties or soemthing.. like go streaking, flash them, haha play strip poker. It's just how the parties go. And it's not liek I do it alone, my best girlfriends all are in. Is this liek really slutty? Am i considered a slut? I mean I have fun and all, but I don't want to be considered a slut at all. Thanks for the advice (link)
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No, I would not have said it was slutty, just a little too frivolous perhaps, at 14. I remember that at 14, I would rather than have died that let a bunch of guys see me naked!!!!
I don't think you could be considered a slut, because you're not actually doing anything sexual with them. However, I want to warn you that if you make a habit of flashing them or letting them see you naked, you could end up in a very unfavourable situation, if one guy decides he wants what he can't have.
By all means, go out and have fun and if you're not pushing any more boundaries than this then feel free. Just make sure you're safe at the same time.
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my parents are pretty stict. i know it seems like a long way away, but i need to start working on this now. i turn 16 in september and get my license in october. it would be my dream to get a car 4 christmas. my parents already told me i cant untill next summer.. not this summer. how can i change their minds??? and the car i want is pretty cheap! 10,000. i need advice (link)
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The first thing you need to realise here is that you won't really be able to change their minds, if it is already made up. For starters, maybe the reason they're saying no to giving it to you this Summer is because they can't afford it. I'm sorry but $10,000 is NOT cheap for a first car. I paid for my first car and it was only £800. This might not be what you want to hear right now but you are VERY lucky to be having this car bought for you and to have such an expensive car at such a young age, you really will have to wait until next Summer. Better that than risk them saying no to getting you the car at all because you tried to change their minds.
However, you could get a part time job, to help save up some money towards it. If your parents see that you are making an effort to put in a contribution, they will have a lot of respect for you and you may be able to get the car sooner as a result of this and your contribution to the cost. Give this a try and you could be zipping around before you know it!
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okay i have this x- friend. we were friends for about a year and then all of a sudden she started getting weird. like she said she was bi and then said she was joking, but i dont think she was. and shes really creepy to be around, like she got a weird haircut, but i dont wanna talk to her. am i wrong? (link)
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Sounds to me as though she wasn't really joking. She's obviously going through something at the moment and having a little trouble with it. When she told you she was bi, you probably reacted in a way that scared her so she tried to pull it off as a joke, so that you wouldn't think she really was.
You're not really wrong and I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable but it sounds as though she could really use a friend right now. If she is bi, she's going to be feeling pretty lonely and scared because growing up like that in the world we have today opens her to a lot of prejudice.
I know you feel awkward but try talking to her. Just sit her down and say "You know when you sai you were bi and then said you were joking? Between you and me....were you serious?" If she says yes then just let her know that you won't tell anyone. You can tell her that it makes you feel a little uncomfortable, because she probably already realises this but try to be there for her. You don't have to help her look girlfriends or anything, but support her as best you can. Once she knows she doesn't have to keep it a secret and that people will accept her for who she really is, you should see her behaviour start to calm down a little.
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ok well i have a friend and she is really sweet. But i recently found out she had been cutting her wrists, so i told one of my teachers and she reported it to the office as an annonimous report. So she got called down to the office today to be talked to and well lets just say she was really upset. Shes not aloud back at school untill she goes to a shrink atleast 6times! So anyways well she keeps e-mailing me and im scarred shes going to find out it was me because someone told her that they saw a girl friend taalking to one of our teachers about her. So how am i suppost to approch her in a way that dosent hint to be proven it was me? Did I do the right thing? I really dont want to loose a friend i have already lost so many this year! I go threw school with only 3 friends! And i dont want to walk arond alone! Helllp
Alyssa 13 (link)
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You did do the right thing and there is no doubt in my mind about that. However, your friend will not see it this way right now so I can understand why you don't want her to know. I've been through the *exact* same thing with a friend before and she was SO mad at me, she wouldn't speak to me for a long time.
However, in the long run, when she's doing better, she will thank you for what you did and should be grateful that she got help before things went even further.
The best thing you can do right now is just be a friend to her. No matter what you do or say, there will always be a possibility she will find out it was you and unfortunately, that is something you may have to face up to but for now, try to be there for her so that she knows your a friend and if it does come out at some point, hopefully she will have realised why you did it.
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ok to tell it all short my brothers going to court and may be sent away .my moms in the hostpital she has been for 3 days .my other brother is named the good child.my family has 5 people in it and im the only girl so i clean cook and do laundry.i cnat believe my mom has done it for 20 years ive done it for 4 days.i have so much gratitude for her and ill never mesure up.i am slipping on my grades at school witch i was already strugiling and is at resk of failling my grade.i dont want to have my mom as an excuse for my homework.i stayed home today to catch up and no one knows that.
im under my head and no one to turn too.
what do i do.
plz help me sorry its so long
katie (link)
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It's unreasonable for your family to expect you to cope single handedly with all the household chores while you are still at school, especially - as you seem to imply - just because you're a girl. If the guys make the plates and clothes dirty and if the men eat the food then they should be helping out with the chores!
Try to call some sort of family meeting and tell everyone that as you are struggling to keep up with your schoolwork - your priority at this point in your life - everyone will need to help out with doing the housework until your Mum gets better and can come home, at least. Try to draw up some form of schedule, so that everyone knows who should be doing what and when. If you're happy to do it, see if you can still manage to do some of the cooking but if you cook, they should do the cleaning up afterwards. Everyone should help with the laundry and everyone should try to keep your home in a clean state.
If this doesn't work, just stop doing everything for them until you have caught up on your schoolwork. Your Mum might have been able to keep up with everything when she does nothing else but they cannot expect you to sacrifice your education for the sake of ironing their shirts because they can't be bothered to pick up an iron!! As soon as they see they have no clean clothes and no dinner on the table, they'll get the message.
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i'm female, 17, and a junior in high school. last march, a guy, (who is 21 and doesn't go 2 school), i wrk w/finally broke up w/his girlfriend of 2 years. he told me in january he really liked me and there'd been a mutual attraction since then. the problem is, that, although they broke up, they still live together in a 1 room apartment (he sleeps on the couch) b/c he cannot financially afford to live on his own and he currently drives his ex's car. she has reciently threatened 2 move out which would force him 2 move back to WA. she's agreed to stay but insists that i don't see him 4 a while. i didn't know her previously and there is pretty much no chance of her feeling anything but hostility towards me. i don't want to break up w/him but i dont like the idea of his ex controlling our relationship and i know there's nothing i can say to her that will change her mind. what do i do? (link)
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You need to talk this over with your boyfriend and lay down your point of view on the matter. Obviously he had a relationship with this girl for a long time, so it would be insensitive for him to flaunt your relationship in front of her. If this isn't what is going on at all then he needs to realise that his obligations to her now are solely as a roommate and that she is not part of his new relationship. If he can't realise that then you may be better off without him.
Tell him that you feel concerned she is getting away with controlling the situation and that although you appreciate she is upset, you can't just sit and let her get away with controlling everything the way she is. His obligation now is to you and he needs to stop pandering to her. Let him know this and there should be a change in attitude. If there isn't, you may have to get rid of him because in the long run, it's not going to do your relationship any good.
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my little cuz has a boyfriend. they have been going out for 4 months do u think that 10 and 12 yr olds should be kissing (link)
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Depends what sort of kissing. I believe that at that age you are too young to be doing anything more than the odd peck here and there. Proper lip locks with tongue is too fast for that sort of age group. It's just too intimate.
There's very little you can do personally to stop this behaviour if this is what is going on but do speak to her Mother about it and see if she is aware of it.
I would be very interested to know, please, as you did not leave a comment, why you rated this answer as a 2. You asked the opinions of the answerers, I gave it and cannot see a rational reason behind this rating. So perhaps you would explain this to me?
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