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my hole family
ok to tell it all short my brothers going to court and may be sent away .my moms in the hostpital she has been for 3 days .my other brother is named the good child.my family has 5 people in it and im the only girl so i clean cook and do laundry.i cnat believe my mom has done it for 20 years ive done it for 4 days.i have so much gratitude for her and ill never mesure up.i am slipping on my grades at school witch i was already strugiling and is at resk of failling my grade.i dont want to have my mom as an excuse for my homework.i stayed home today to catch up and no one knows that.
im under my head and no one to turn too.
what do i do.
plz help me sorry its so long
katie
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Well I am so sorry about everything thats happening. I think the best thing you need to do is tell a teacher whats going on, tell a counsular, someone, because we cant do everything on our own, we need help.
And if you believe in God, He will never give you more than you can handle, and it may seem like a lot now, but someday you'll be able to look back and think it wasnt that bad, and know that God is always by your side.
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It's unreasonable for your family to expect you to cope single handedly with all the household chores while you are still at school, especially - as you seem to imply - just because you're a girl. If the guys make the plates and clothes dirty and if the men eat the food then they should be helping out with the chores!
Try to call some sort of family meeting and tell everyone that as you are struggling to keep up with your schoolwork - your priority at this point in your life - everyone will need to help out with doing the housework until your Mum gets better and can come home, at least. Try to draw up some form of schedule, so that everyone knows who should be doing what and when. If you're happy to do it, see if you can still manage to do some of the cooking but if you cook, they should do the cleaning up afterwards. Everyone should help with the laundry and everyone should try to keep your home in a clean state.
If this doesn't work, just stop doing everything for them until you have caught up on your schoolwork. Your Mum might have been able to keep up with everything when she does nothing else but they cannot expect you to sacrifice your education for the sake of ironing their shirts because they can't be bothered to pick up an iron!! As soon as they see they have no clean clothes and no dinner on the table, they'll get the message.
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Katie,
It is so hard (for a lack of a better term) to be faced with having your brother taken away, and trust me, it scares you to death. With that, you will just have to see how it goes and hope for the best. Although it is great that you have stepped up to the plate and taken over the house hold duties, everyone needs to help. You have school, and other things that you need to deal with just like they all do, so I would bring it up with them. Tell them that you are trying your best to do it all, but you need help because there is just too much to do. They should have been helping all along, especially with their own messes.
You are definitely in way over your head, but the only way you will come out a bit is by sharing the load.
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Dear Katie,
I'm sorry to hear of all the troubles your family has been having. Yes, managing a household takes a lot of work, and inspite of being the only girl, EVERYONE NEEDS TO PITCH IN. All living there contribute to the mess, and threrefore, should be doing their part to assist with the upkeep. Perhaps you need to speak to them about this; be honest and tell them why you need them to do their fair share.
As for your father, if he's around, tell him you need help and that your shool work is suffering. Ask him to call a family meeting to address the situation of everyone pitching in. If you've got other relatives in the area (grandparents, aunts, uncles) perhaps they too could be of assistance. At any rate, you should not be the only one doing the household chores!
As for your school work, please, please speak with your guidance counselor, or principal, or home room teacher, or favorite teacher. Lay it all out for them. This situation requires that you reach out and ask for assistance. It's not too late, so don't be ashamed or afraid. All families, from time to time, need the support and assistance of others.
As for your mother being ill, in many hospitals there are social workers assigned to the different medical units to assit patients and their family members. That being the case, you can also ask her nurse to speak with the social worker. If it's easier to call from home, ask the hospital switchborad operator for the "social work department," then ask to speak to the person assigned to your mother's floor. You may have to leave a message, so that the social worker can get back to you. She/he may have additional suggestions and resources that would be helpful in your situation.
I wish you well.
Take Care,
Earth Mother
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