parsimoniousdino's advice column

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Q: Ok so now I'm 11 turning 12 in june and my boyfriend is 12 he wants to do sex with me and I think I'm 2 young but he says he'll brake up with me if I say no and I don't know what to do! Please help me!

His name doesn't happen to be Jaden?
I saw a similar question.
You're too young. My little sister is 12 and she's too young. If I found out she had sex, I would freak out. I advise you to wait at least 3 or more years until you make that kind of decision. Sex is an emotional experience and even if you were mature, you will take away from yourself something really special by going at it too young. Wait until you're a little wiser and older. Maybe he won't break up with you if you say no. You do not need your first time to be a decision pressured upon you by your boyfriend. If he can't understand then you would be best to move on. There's so much in store for your future, don't grow up too fast and throw away something that will mean something to you in when you're older. Talk to your mom or dad about sex about the right time or talk with an adult you trust, maybe your school counselor.

Q: So yeah, facebook won't let me log into my account. They are trying to make me enter a mobile number to get a verification code.... The problem is I don't have a mobile phone nor do I want to buy one so facebook can sell the number to third party sources.... How can I get around the securiy check? Thanks for the help, in advance. BTW I need this info ASAP so I can delete the account.

No Zane, there's a new Facebook policy that at times tells a Facebook user to enter a mobile number to access account. The purpose is so that a user does not have multiple accounts.

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You could ask a friend to use their phone.
I've found that if you put a number on an account under that prompt then delete the number, wait a week, it sometimes lets you use the number again for another account.
I don't know if I can really help. I have another mobile phone I haven't activated, I could give you that number but I just moved and I will have to search through my things so let me know for a last resort. I'm willing to help.

Q: Well im 15 years old & im bisexual ijust havent let it out to anyone isometimes reject it but im attracted to girls. theres a girl in my school who always stares at me during lunch she's beautiful when i talk to her she laughs and smiles alot but she stares at me always iwas wondering how do i ask her if she's bi or not?

Hi,

My first girl crush was my senior year. She stared at me every time I walked into class. I came out in class telling my friend I was bi and she over heard me and she turned around to look at me then looked away nervously. I was acing my calc class so she asked me to tutor her after school. First time, we were in the library and it was obvious to me we were both nervous. Then I invited her to study at my house and again the atmosphere of nervousness. That's when she came out and told me she was bi. We continued to spend time together and eventually we hooked up. So maybe you can try something like what happened in my situation. You could talk about it with a trustworthy friend close by. You could invite her over and see where that goes. Or you could talk to her and watch for body language indicating whether or not she's into you. Best thing I could tell you is to spend time with her. Be her friend.

Q: I'm a 16 year old girl and I recently decided to start shaving my pubic hair and now I have a red rash(I've had for about 2 weeks now but it goes away when I stop shaving)and when I shave it every night it hurts and gets more red? and I can never get it perfectly smooth either it looks gross...what can I do to get it smooth and make the rash go away because I don't want hair down there and I don't want it all red and disgusting? (I've never had sex or anything like that)

Hi,
Child what are you doing?
Don't do that anymore, Stop!
1.Get an Electric Gillette Fusion Razor
2.Be Gentle
3.Try not to go over the same area too much to avoid excessive irritation.
4.Wait 3-4 days until you shave again.
5.Try Aftershave after shaving. It burns at first, however, shortly after the pain subsides.
6.Baby Powder may be somewhat soothing.
Good Luck (:

Q: Ok so I'm 11 turning 12 in june and I'm quit mature for my age. Well I'm dating this guy in my class jaden he's already 12 he turned 12 in january and well I've seen a lot of stuff on here about people being to young to date. Well my question is should I brake up with him? I really do like him but everyone says you must still find youself live a normail child life and guys please no rude answers.I wanna do better in my school work also. Please help I don't know if I should or not!

I see you should keep it as a playful relationship because you're young, it shouldn't be too serious. I remember romances at you're age and I recall them to be sweet. You should put school work first and foremost. Enjoy life, you didn't say whether you've been struggling with the different tasks of your daily life so I think you can handle a boyfriend in the mix. You're young but you're also old enough to make decisions for yourself. Think about what matters to you and always keep your future in mind.

Q: Well im 20 and have this phobia called venustrophobia or watever they call fear of women.im too damn scared to look at girls,even if i gather guts to look at them,the first thing they do adjust their shawl(a part of an indian attire which women wear with salwars) so that it covers their breast properely.Im not the ogling type,but when women do this i compare myself to a sex starved pervert(thats what women think of me,thats why they adjust their shawl).other than my mom,sis and female lecturers there s no women whom i talked to and certainly wont.is there a solution??????

I have a suggestion,

Try chatroulette.com
or any online chat sites.
Talk to women on the internet.
The more you engage with the other sex, the more comfortable it'll get. You're like Raj on the show 'The Big Bang Theory'. He was Indian and couldn't talk to women, he whispered in his friend's ear when he had something to say. One episode he takes pills to help his problem. Another, he drinks alcohol. On one episode, he thinks he's drinking alcohol and it's going perfectly good with him and the girl until his best-friend tells him he's drinking non-alcoholic beer then he freaks out and becomes instantly uncomfortable. Loosen up.

Q: I use to get bullied and now im scared to talk to people. I really want to make friends but people think because i dont talk that i dont like them or something. I started doing online school this year but i thought it would be better if i went back so i could at least try to make friends. Does any one have any tips on how to be less shy or how i could make new friends.

Hi,
I was bullied my freshman year of high school. I hadn't hit puberty yet, I was afraid of the new environment, and I was uncomfortable being surrounded by people all the time. I went through major depression for a couple of years before I started high school. I found anxiety pills helped ease social pressure and I eventually became comfortable enough to no longer need medication as a crutch. Most of the anxiety was paranoid thoughts I couldn't suppress. As the pressure eased, I found that making friends was no longer a problem. The last thing you want is to appear as weak. Stand up to your bully even if it means getting a black eye. Trust me, would you rather be looked at as insecure and pushed-around or as someone who doesn't tolerate being taunted? Push past your fears and get outside of that box you place yourself in and walk into the world. You want to get recognized as someone who is respected? Put yourself in the places you feel most uncomfortable and don't psych yourself out. Take every minute as it comes and don't worry about what will happen. If you accidentally come off as silly, laugh at yourself. People will notice less about the embarrassing factor if it is omitted from the environment. You create the tone with the ones who surround you. How you react to everyone is important as it will factor how they react to you. What also helps, join clubs. Take on a sport. I was invited to parties only because I was on the same team. Try getting assigned to classes with fewer people, that'll help bring your peers closer together and you will have better chances at being included. If you feel you hit it off with a new classmate, ask them to hang out after school sometime or the weekend. Maybe it will go awkward at first but if they say yes then there's obviously something they see in you to give it a chance. Find out the latest gossip, locate parties and invite yourself. I did it. ;)
I wasn't ever popular in high school but I did have many groups of friends. One thing people appreciate is being noticed, so go to others and act happy to see them. Making them feel noticed will open many doors for friendship. Many of my awkward friends found that after high school, in hindsight they realized they over analyzed things and wish they could go back knowing things were simpler than they presumed. Society at school is not difficult to adapt to if you have better insight to your environment and to what others are thinking. Research what others are into and be on top with the latest fads. Engage in the latest gossip and be yourself. You're 10x Cool. Everyone has their own story, try to learn about the others around you and find common backgrounds or backgrounds that fascinate you. Everyone has gone through something, everyone has their family troubles, everyone has their lifestyle. Be open, talk to people. That's how you ignite friendship. In general, people want to be spoken to and if they're ignored they'll try to find something wrong with you. Like I said, you're 10x Cool. Hope I helped, I have no doubts. You can make it happen.

Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month now, and I am sixteen, and he is eighteen. He is going to the Navy in December, but he says that if we last until I am eighteen, he wants to marry me. He seems really serious about it, and it's not like I'm afraid of committment, but I kinda wonder...

He is extremely mature and when he says something, he means it. I'm not worried about him changing his mind, but should I be cautious with this relationship if he brings it up this early? Or is it really serious?

I'm sure he's serious. It's very early for him to let that slip out so soon but it has to be on his mind. He's probably looking into the future a bit more because he's going into the military. I'm guessing he wants the security of knowing he can come home to you and you not moving on. He probably has a feeling now that tells him you're his one. I think he's putting together his future in his head and he wants you to be in it. Still, there's plenty of time for you two to grow and see what is made out of the relationship. Start thinking about what you want and what you want in the future. Do you see yourself with him in the times to come? Think about that everyday when you're with him. You're young and do what you Want. Take your time; don't jump into a commitment without being sure.

Q: I am 19 years old and have never had anything remotely close to a relationship. I completed my first year of college without anything even resembling a romantic encounter.

I know I am not unattractive. In fact, I know for a fact that there are guys out there who are attracted to me.

Honestly I feel as if I know why nothing has happened for me. I'm shy, quiet, and avoid conversation with the opposite sex. I just don't feel comfortable with most guys, and it causes me to try brush them off as fast as I can so I can get out of an awkward situation.

Does anyone have any tips?

Hey girl. You stated your problem. You give guys the wrong idea with your body language. It may be hard but you need to engage and be comfortable in conversations with the men. If you are awkward, that's setting the mood and could make another feel the same. Trust me from experience, guys interact with girls more if they are more confident in themselves. A beautiful girl could be dressed in all glamour money can buy and not be approached if she's not exhibiting confidence in herself. Or there would be the ugly, maybe a little pretty, girl who would have guys surrounding her because she feels okay around them. To get through that barrier of awkward emotions, try pushing your boundaries and put yourself into a situation to challenge your fear. Maybe go out to a party and kiss a guy. Breaking that wall you put up will help you overcome this. Many people before you have went through this and look back now, laugh that something so easy for them now was once hard. They realize it was just something within themselves. You're no different than me and the others out there, you can get a guy. If you display yourself as happy and relaxed, guys will line up for you. One day you will find someone out there, I promise, who will be crazy for you and who will go all out just to be with you. If you can't do it, fake it.

Q: http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o50/maureenroxs/MEEEEUGLY.jpg

I am skinny, yet my face is chubby, Hair cut advice, its looking dull and flat.. and makeup advice? thanks How old do you think i look in this picture?

As I see by your picture, you are a very beautiful girl. The 'MEEEEUGLY' does not coincide with the girl in the picture. Not at all. My guess, 15.
Makeup:
http://www.youtube.com/user/ForeverYours0727
She has many tutorial videos on her page. Also you could always look up on youtube a tutorial to help you find techniques applying makeup and ideas on products to use.
When applying bronzer or blush, apply to the temples, cheekbone, and the jaw line. Doing this will contour your face and make it appear slimmer.
Hair:
My opinion, I can see you with bangs, some layers, and highlights.

Q: My boyfriend says my cum tastes sour. Not like rotten sour, but like actually sour. Is this normal?

Q: where do u live? please i need help!

Q: i have never really met my dad and not im starting to but idk. no one knows if im really his because my mom slept around a lot when i was concieved..im getting a paternaty test done bu idk wat to do..which leaves the question..what if im not his?

Does he pay child support? Does he provide for you? If he's good to you, I think you should title him as your you father blood or not. You have the choice to stay quiet about whether he is or not. He may write you into his will. Which would be a great advantage to you. If he doesn't treat you right or as his very own child, then maybe you should look into finding your actual father. Then maybe you can have a chance with a better fitted father figure but expect the worst and the best. Because your mom was sleeping around, maybe your biological father may not know of your existence. He may deny you or accept you. Try to think about this a little more. Getting a paternity test may ruin what you already have but if you are not satisfied with living a lie then maybe it will help you make more sense of whom you came from and who you are. The choice of finding your father could be life changing or could leave you short of expectations. Follow your heart and be prepared to handle what comes your way.

Q: Like 99% of the time I have to initiate the conversation.. and usually they don't reply back. Am I a friendless loser? :( I even made a group on FB about me getting a new phone and put my number and asked other people to post theirs. some people I thought were friends who posted their numbers, when I texted them they replied "whos this?" so they didnt even bother to add me. WHY CANT I MAKE FRIENDSSSS. even people who i relatively consider close we hardly talk. why do i have such issues making friends. im not even a bad person or anything i just feel like im so different from others, but we dont have to be identical to be friends so i dont get it! people never even invite me for events. im 16 and ive never been to a sweet 16. in my life ive hardly been to any birthday parties. why are things so hard for me? im not even a loser or anything, im a pretty cool person that nobody seems to know very well and i dont know what im doing wrong :( :( :( i dont wanna get all depressed and everything about it but sometimes i just feel alone.. and id like close friends i can talk about anything with. a lot of my deep questions I ask on Y!A cause i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about it and they are always intertwined with this problem. FML helppp.

Like 99% of the time I have to initiate the conversation.. and usually they don't reply back. Am I a friendless loser? :( I even made a group on FB about me getting a new phone and put my number and asked other people to post theirs. some people I thought were friends who posted their numbers, when I texted them they replied "whos this?" so they didnt even bother to add me. WHY CANT I MAKE FRIENDSSSS. even people who i relatively consider close we hardly talk. why do i have such issues making friends. im not even a bad person or anything i just feel like im so different from others, but we dont have to be identical to be friends so i dont get it! people never even invite me for events. im 16 and ive never been to a sweet 16. in my life ive hardly been to any birthday parties. why are things so hard for me? im not even a loser or anything, im a pretty cool person that nobody seems to know very well and i dont know what im doing wrong :( :( :( i dont wanna get all depressed and everything about it but sometimes i just feel alone.. and id like close friends i can talk about anything with. a lot of my deep questions I ask on Y!A cause i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about it and they are always intertwined with this problem. FML helppp.

I never even just go to someones house to hang out.. I've only done that with 2 friends in my life and that was around middle school. This year I have been to nobody's house. Im just so socially inept that I dont even know how to plan events or invite people for things cause then I'd be worried about little things and everything cause it would be a big deal to me. just hanging out! not even planning parties.. the last time i had a party was my 10th birthday party and "friends" have only been to my house briefly like on halloween to pick me up. i wasnt even part of a group for halloween most years.. i had to ask if i could join theirs and sometimes i still felt like an outsider. why am i so pathetic like this.. and then other people get to hang out with their friends all the time and go to sleepovers and etc.i feel so jealous of it. i feel like ive lost an important part of development..

I dont get how I miss out when I think Im a pretty cool person I guess. I wish I could have friends like myself.. and I am a good friend. But I feel like other people dont really care when I have issues so I tend to keep them to myself IRL.. but Im totally open to helping them out with their issues. Like im a fun person but kinda shy I guess cause im like socially inept and feel awkward often since im not used to certain situations. maybe i spent too much time on the internet growing up? i even moved to a new town and now its summer vacation and i dont feel like people are gonna be inviting me to things even though they were nice to me before.. like theres nothing wrong with me.. despite what it would seem given my situation. im not ugly or anything either. like there was this 1 girl who has this big bday party and she was nice to me and she didnt even invite me! that really hurt.. cause then she goes and talked about it often in school.. and like it seems like everyone else is invited. it wouldnt have been a big deal to me if she hadnt been talking to me earlier and everything, giving the impression that she was trying to become my friend. i just dont want to spend this summer not being with friends or anything.. for the 100th time. cause most summers i visit friends like 2-3 times in total. sometimes even 0. why do i always have to be the one that initiates it? i dont even know how to do that or if i even should when they dont invite me either. :( :( :( im just in a crappy mood today i guess and looking back at how even more pathetic 10th grade was for me. this has been my most pathetic year, friends wise. even though most times its like that.. i dont act this moody IRL, im usually happy and everything.. keeping sad things like this to myself.. and then when i reflect later on how my life is going it just makes me want to cry cause most people seem to have a few friends. i dont even need many you know. even 1 best friend would be amazing. sometimes i wonder if it could be because im black? i know its bad to do the race card but a lot of my "friends" are white so maybe they dont want to hang out with a black person out of school or what? but its not like the black people ever hang out with me either. all i have is my family.. but even my family is different from me. im into indie rock and it shouldnt matter what my skin tone is. but its rare for me to meet people who like that type of music and etc

sorry for this rambling. gosh..... i always spill my personal problems on to advicenators. you guys are the only best friends i ever seem to have, who really care about helping me with problems :(

Q: Ok im 18/female. I've been eating alot. I didnt use to eat that much in the begining of the year, now when I eat I have to eat at leace 3 plates to get full. I know for sure that I'm not pragnet, but people are starting to relize how much I'm eating & it's embarassing. I use to be the one that always finishs first, now I'm always last. What do you think is wrong with me. Thank you =)

If you have been eating until you get full, your stomach will stretch to contain more food for your appetite. Here's a website that gives you more information on binge eating:
http://www.womens-health-fitness.com/binge-eating-help.html
Also drinking a lot before eating can help fill you up faster. Try to keep yourself busy so you can be distracted from eating more than you should. Also try cutting portion sizes. You may still be hungry but if you continue to eat smaller portions, your appetite should adjust. If you are still struggling with fulfillment in your appetite, contact a doctor. Also a doctor may find another problem such as parasites in your body or maybe binge eating disorder.

It would be healthier if you try the 6 meals a day diet. That will up your metabolism and will maintain balance as your metabolism breaks down your food.

Q: 19/f. I have a friend who is openly very attracted to me. He tells all of our friends he's going to marry me and never stops telling me how interesting, beautiful, and cute I am. We have hooked up twice, but I don't even know if I like him. Before he started being so nice to me i thought he was a total asshole and really annoying. There are a few problems: 1. He was dating a girl a really nice girl a few months ago..He cheated on her over a school break with his ex, then came back to school, took her virginity, and THEN told her. Needless to say a lot of people hate him for that. 2. I'm pretty sure he's actually in a relationship with that ex-girlfriend now, but she's across the country. It says they are in a relationship on facebook and since he's cheated before I'm not really surprised. He texts me every day and wants me to hang out with him more. I don't think I even like him like that. I feel like I like the idea of him liking me more than I actually like him. He's one of my good friends though and I don't want to ruin anything. Sorry this is so long, but any advice?

You may like the idea of him liking you. You need to check your resources and see if he is actually in a relationship with that other girl before getting into a relationship with him. Don't date him if you are still not sure if you like him, that may lead to him being led on. Also don't jump into anything with him. If you are interested in trying it out or testing the waters with the guy, maybe try lunch dates here and there before titling him your boyfriend. If to him you are different than the other girls he dated, I'm sure he will say that, but if he actually does feel that way, he would try to treat you right and avoid his former habits. You should already know him very well after being good friends with him. Try getting to know him in a romantic yet safe way before making any major decisions. Try not to set yourself into a position where you or he would possibly get hurt in the long run. In my opinion, he doesn't sound like a decent guy and has a problematic character. If you want to try to see if it would work out between the two of you, take your time, he will be patient if he really likes you. Don't give him what he wants when he asks for it. Make him wait until you are ready to give it to him.

Q: A guy i like asked me out and i wanna say yes but am i too young at age 13??? i have no idea what to do! please help me!

13 is a good age to start dating. Many teens have their first date at around this age. I had mine when I was twelve in the sixth grade and I also started wearing makeup at that age. I think an innocent relationship would be cute for someone your age and your level of maturity. If I were you, I would ask your parentals. It would probably be easier if you ask them with a scenario question such as "What if I wanted to go on a date with a guy in my class, could I go or should I wait until I'm a little older?" That way your parents could help you prepare for your step up into adulthood.

Q: I have a blogger.com account, but I was just wondering if it's possible to make that private. I want every entry to be specifically for my eyes, and I tried to figure it out, but I couldn't.. lol.

If for some reason I'm not able to make it private, are there any other blog websites you would recommend that are good to use? Thanks.

For blogger.com,
Do this:
1.Go to customize(found top right of your blog page)
2.Go to settings
3.Go to permissions(last listed under settings tabs)
4.Look for where it says Blog Readers
5.Check the Only Blog Authers tab
6.If Popup Displays, Click on Authors Only

Q: how do you put a finger through a flame and not get burned?

blood temperture and air temperture plays a big role in this convection.
i've actually put my whole arm through the flames of a fireplace without getting burned.
for a mathematical formula of the heat transfer just google it, i've found many results for your question.

Q: I was wondering how people can take a color pic, make it black and white, and have one thing left that is still color.
& anyone know of any photo editing softwares that i can download straight off the internet??
thanks in advance

picnik will do it, like said before.
just go to effects>
black&white>
then check the box that says reverse effect>
highlight everything black&white excluding the area you want left colored>
zoom in(bottom-right)to get more accurate around the colored areas

you can also do the same with tinting.
with doodle you can edit blemishes/flaws.

you don't even need to download, just go straight to the website.

also like said below gimp is a great software to use, it is more advanced.

good luck,
parsimoniousdino

bio

"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." - George Carlin

My name is Melody.

I like helping others and I hope I can be a help to every person I answer.
If anyone has a question, ask anytime.