My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month now, and I am sixteen, and he is eighteen. He is going to the Navy in December, but he says that if we last until I am eighteen, he wants to marry me. He seems really serious about it, and it's not like I'm afraid of committment, but I kinda wonder...
He is extremely mature and when he says something, he means it. I'm not worried about him changing his mind, but should I be cautious with this relationship if he brings it up this early? Or is it really serious?
WittyUsernameHere answered Saturday July 2 2011, 10:51 am: I know all about young wives to guys in the armed forces.
Run. He will get deployed over seas while you wait at home. He will have sex with other people because that's navy culture and he's 20 years old. You will be a young wife at home alone, probably pregnant, hoping that he gets rid of whatever VD he catches from foreign prostitutes so he doesn't bring it home to you.
This is literally the 99% chance "I married a navy enlistee" story that people like you go through.
Do not marry a 20 year old. Do not marry when you're 18 and you haven't even lived outside of your parents house on your own. Don't set yourself up with a guy who's going to want you to be a mother to his kids before you've gotten out and had enough of a life of your own to really offer children an adult perspective on the world.
I'm sure he is serious. Guys who enlist in the armed forces, marry the first girl who will have them out of boot camp, and end up divorced with a few kids is about the most cliche' armed forces story in existence in the US.
My best friend is a navy vet. His advice would be to not get involved with this guy. I have an ex who left me for a guy who enlisted. She's living at home and divorced now, a single parent, and she regrets every second of it except for her daughter.
No, he is not mature. He just seems that way to a 16 year old. Trust me, he's 18, there's an upper ceiling to maturity at that age and it isn't very high unless you've got a guy with a high IQ.
No one with a high IQ becomes an enlisted man.
Don't sign yourself up for navy wife at 18. You will regret it. The relationship is a month old and he brought up marriage? He's way, way more immature than you think. More innocent and inexperienced, more naive. This is a trainwreck waiting to happen.
Do not date anyone who brings up marriage after a month. I promise, if you dump this guy he will find some other girl to fixate on before he signs up and shifts off. I can promise that he will be married before he ships out overseas, whether you stick around or not. It makes no difference to him, ultimately, that it's you. He just want's a ready source of free sex when he's living on base, and marriage is the only way to swing that when you enlist.
cocomac101 answered Friday July 1 2011, 11:35 am: oh. don't worry he probably just wants to show you that your relationship could have a happy and healthy future and hes not just been a dick messing you around. This is sweet and should be taken as much. If he did unlikely ask your to marry him you'd simply sit him down and explain that your just not ready, and its not a convinient time for you to be thinking about this OR getting that serious, good luck :) xx [ cocomac101's advice column | Ask cocomac101 A Question ]
parsimoniousdino answered Friday July 1 2011, 2:38 am: I'm sure he's serious. It's very early for him to let that slip out so soon but it has to be on his mind. He's probably looking into the future a bit more because he's going into the military. I'm guessing he wants the security of knowing he can come home to you and you not moving on. He probably has a feeling now that tells him you're his one. I think he's putting together his future in his head and he wants you to be in it. Still, there's plenty of time for you two to grow and see what is made out of the relationship. Start thinking about what you want and what you want in the future. Do you see yourself with him in the times to come? Think about that everyday when you're with him. You're young and do what you Want. Take your time; don't jump into a commitment without being sure. [ parsimoniousdino's advice column | Ask parsimoniousdino A Question ]
Xui answered Friday July 1 2011, 12:57 am: A month into dating is awfully quick to be talking about commitment, Sure maybe he is expressing how he feels but it could rather wait until you two have been together for a good couple of months. Talking too soon about the future could end up causing stress and scaring off the other. You are young, Too young for marriage. If he wants to proceed in marrying you when you are 18 then there shouldn't be a rush in waiting. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
ashiebuggie92 answered Thursday June 30 2011, 11:16 pm: Well, marriage is a big decision especially that young but if he brings it up he wants to marry you and if you cant picture being without him then my guess is you want to be with him guys dont bring up marriage if it hasnt crossed his mind just something to think about [ ashiebuggie92's advice column | Ask ashiebuggie92 A Question ]
YoungMommy answered Thursday June 30 2011, 11:01 pm: Well this is so sweet in a way because it kind of reminds me of my husband and I. He asked me to marry him just 4 months after we were together and we married shortly there after. Some times people just know that they found the one they want to spend their life with.
Maybe you will last and you will be happy. He could have just got too into a moment that you have and something slipped out but why would he say it if he wasnt thinking it. Wait and see what happens dont worry yourself over this and good luck to you [ YoungMommy's advice column | Ask YoungMommy A Question ]
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