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Nobody texts/calls me on the phone.. Am I a loser? (long, please read)
Like 99% of the time I have to initiate the conversation.. and usually they don't reply back. Am I a friendless loser? :( I even made a group on FB about me getting a new phone and put my number and asked other people to post theirs. some people I thought were friends who posted their numbers, when I texted them they replied "whos this?" so they didnt even bother to add me. WHY CANT I MAKE FRIENDSSSS. even people who i relatively consider close we hardly talk. why do i have such issues making friends. im not even a bad person or anything i just feel like im so different from others, but we dont have to be identical to be friends so i dont get it! people never even invite me for events. im 16 and ive never been to a sweet 16. in my life ive hardly been to any birthday parties. why are things so hard for me? im not even a loser or anything, im a pretty cool person that nobody seems to know very well and i dont know what im doing wrong :( :( :( i dont wanna get all depressed and everything about it but sometimes i just feel alone.. and id like close friends i can talk about anything with. a lot of my deep questions I ask on Y!A cause i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about it and they are always intertwined with this problem. FML helppp.
Like 99% of the time I have to initiate the conversation.. and usually they don't reply back. Am I a friendless loser? :( I even made a group on FB about me getting a new phone and put my number and asked other people to post theirs. some people I thought were friends who posted their numbers, when I texted them they replied "whos this?" so they didnt even bother to add me. WHY CANT I MAKE FRIENDSSSS. even people who i relatively consider close we hardly talk. why do i have such issues making friends. im not even a bad person or anything i just feel like im so different from others, but we dont have to be identical to be friends so i dont get it! people never even invite me for events. im 16 and ive never been to a sweet 16. in my life ive hardly been to any birthday parties. why are things so hard for me? im not even a loser or anything, im a pretty cool person that nobody seems to know very well and i dont know what im doing wrong :( :( :( i dont wanna get all depressed and everything about it but sometimes i just feel alone.. and id like close friends i can talk about anything with. a lot of my deep questions I ask on Y!A cause i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about it and they are always intertwined with this problem. FML helppp.
I never even just go to someones house to hang out.. I've only done that with 2 friends in my life and that was around middle school. This year I have been to nobody's house. Im just so socially inept that I dont even know how to plan events or invite people for things cause then I'd be worried about little things and everything cause it would be a big deal to me. just hanging out! not even planning parties.. the last time i had a party was my 10th birthday party and "friends" have only been to my house briefly like on halloween to pick me up. i wasnt even part of a group for halloween most years.. i had to ask if i could join theirs and sometimes i still felt like an outsider. why am i so pathetic like this.. and then other people get to hang out with their friends all the time and go to sleepovers and etc.i feel so jealous of it. i feel like ive lost an important part of development..
I dont get how I miss out when I think Im a pretty cool person I guess. I wish I could have friends like myself.. and I am a good friend. But I feel like other people dont really care when I have issues so I tend to keep them to myself IRL.. but Im totally open to helping them out with their issues. Like im a fun person but kinda shy I guess cause im like socially inept and feel awkward often since im not used to certain situations. maybe i spent too much time on the internet growing up? i even moved to a new town and now its summer vacation and i dont feel like people are gonna be inviting me to things even though they were nice to me before.. like theres nothing wrong with me.. despite what it would seem given my situation. im not ugly or anything either. like there was this 1 girl who has this big bday party and she was nice to me and she didnt even invite me! that really hurt.. cause then she goes and talked about it often in school.. and like it seems like everyone else is invited. it wouldnt have been a big deal to me if she hadnt been talking to me earlier and everything, giving the impression that she was trying to become my friend. i just dont want to spend this summer not being with friends or anything.. for the 100th time. cause most summers i visit friends like 2-3 times in total. sometimes even 0. why do i always have to be the one that initiates it? i dont even know how to do that or if i even should when they dont invite me either. :( :( :( im just in a crappy mood today i guess and looking back at how even more pathetic 10th grade was for me. this has been my most pathetic year, friends wise. even though most times its like that.. i dont act this moody IRL, im usually happy and everything.. keeping sad things like this to myself.. and then when i reflect later on how my life is going it just makes me want to cry cause most people seem to have a few friends. i dont even need many you know. even 1 best friend would be amazing. sometimes i wonder if it could be because im black? i know its bad to do the race card but a lot of my "friends" are white so maybe they dont want to hang out with a black person out of school or what? but its not like the black people ever hang out with me either. all i have is my family.. but even my family is different from me. im into indie rock and it shouldnt matter what my skin tone is. but its rare for me to meet people who like that type of music and etc
sorry for this rambling. gosh..... i always spill my personal problems on to advicenators. you guys are the only best friends i ever seem to have, who really care about helping me with problems :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
wtf? i would totally be your friend. skin color really should not matter but even in this day and age, it's hard to tell. have you tried getting into a different group of friends? maybe the ones you are trying to establish a deeper connection with just aren't worth it.
sometimes, it has a lot to do with where you are. you can't really help your surroundings. i myself, and some other friends of mine don't even have best friends. everyone really is different, yes. and it gets lonely. i think maybe if you branch out into joining clubs and activities (it's never too late), you may meet some new people you may have never considered being friends with before. it's sad that you put in all this effort and no one cares. a lot of people have their clique and stick with it because it's a lot more comfortable that way, but props to you for taking the initiative. one day it will pay off.
are you in 11th grade? this is really hard and far away, but you'll have college to look forward to. that's where people start with a blank slate and are more open to making friends the first year when no one knows anyone else. and it will be a completely new experience. there will be tons of people (even at small schools, there will probably be a bigger pool of people to choose to befriend from, compared to high school). hopefully, you will choose one that fits you. and you will definitely find true friends.
for some people, high school was the worst time of their lives. college is where it's at!
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