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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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My boyfriend is from another country and he is muslim. We have been dating for about 7 months now. He buys me lots of nice things (for no reason) constantly, and he is very sweet. He's always doing and saying nice things to me. He always goes out of his way, and meets my "demands" with things. haha I really care about him a lot.
The problem, is that he won't tell his parents about me. He says that they will think he is marrying me, and that he is never coming home. I think that is stupid, why can't he just tell him we are just dating? He said they won't understand and he wants to be sure that we are getting married first. Also, because of this he won't post pictures of me on facebook. (he doesn't have any pictures of any girl on his facebook) I asked why can't you just say I'm like a friend from class? & he says I don't understand, & they will wonder why out of nowhere he's put a picture up when hes never done it before..
I don't know, I understand it to an extent. I understand that if he tells his parents, they will think he is never coming home.
All of his friends here know about me, they've seen me, etc. I don't think he is cheating on me. He constantly gives me his phone to use & sends texts in front of me, etc. & I'm with him like all day, every day. He will even send facebook messages in front of me, etc.. I'm really not worried about that. I'd realy like some opinions from people who know about this culture, etc. Because i'm just having a hard time understanding!
I don't care what foreign country a student is from. If they came to the U.S. to study and the family is adamant that they return to live with family once they are done, then they will do so, because they were raised in a culture where the societal customs are to honor the wishes of the parents and not bring shame on the family or do anything that goes against the beliefs they were brought up with. In some countries, some ethnic groups you will always find people who do not want marriage outside of their race or beliefs.
The fact he won't tell the parents means that in the end he most likely will do as they wish and go home If he's developed feelings for someone from the US, that person may or maynot be accepted by his relatives, even if married. Depending on the country his family lives in, women have a lot less rights in other countries. He may be the sweetest guy, but when push comes to shove, and you go to his country as his wife, the wishes of family will most likely come first, and you second. HE will have to prove that he is the man of the house and usually means you have no rights. It will not be the equal thing that we have the chance for here in the U.S.
If he has not posted photos of other friends, male and female, then to post you all of a sudden would definitely be suspicious to any family who had facebook in his country.
It is a sad thing to fall for someone from another country who plans to return,because that means either breaking up with him for that reason or marrying and going there to who knows what awaits you. His family could be very hip and all for womens rights but many countries are still very behind the times. Women should only keep house and raise children, not work, they have no say, what husband says goes. or what his elders say goes. Once married, your rights are gone.
If he was willing to settle in the u.S. I'd say, it sounds like a better deal. But I knew someone whose guy did all he could to be sweet and win the girl. Lived in U.S. with his family but was so deeply into the customs of his country of origin and muslim beliefs that this girl I worked with changed overnight from the moment she got married to him. She began to wear clothing to cover her whole body, showing only her face and hands, and her personality changed. She changed what she ate too. She was a solumn private person from the happy fun outgoing person she used to be. I have no details on what her home life changed to when married but it had a big enough impact on her just at work. I would say to be careful and insist on going to meet his family and stay for a while visiting as a single girl if you are bound and determined to go that path. If he will not allow it, or they would not allow you there unless you were married, then it might be best to not go. In this country, you can set up a domestic partnership with a guy and other than legal papers enjoy a long term maybe life long relationship like husband and wife. But if things do not go well, you still have your own birth name and can split easily. And often a guy will treat a female better if he knows theres no marriage contract holding them together, because of the fact that it is so easy for her to leave him if he treats her bad. I have known people from many different religious and ethnic background. My dad raised us kids to look past that and evaluate a person based on just his/her own set of values and how they treat others.
I married someone who treated me well while we dated and for the first handful of months of marriage but then it changed and I was with him for 30 yrs of verbal abuse. If I had it to do over again, and as I tell my own daughters...do not marry until many years later if you really wish, keep your own name, set up house and live together for at least 4-5 yrs with a guy. It is hard to hide things from someone else and things in behaviour that you wont tolerate will come out eventually with any guy, muslim or not. The best thing is living to gether. then if it turns out he is not the kind of person you want to spend rest of your life with, it is easy to walk away.
I think the ancient celts had the best idea, to be handfast which meant you made a commitment to be married to the person for a year and a day. At which point the two would decide if they wished to renew for another year or part ways. this way, couples who thought they were a perfect match must give it a try for a year, you couldnt back out sooner but then you decided whether to go for another year. If a guy has to treat you well enough to keep you for another year, lots of women would be either treated better or lots of women would be leaving terrible guys only after a year or two.
When u have sex the first time it hurts but should it the second and thrid time
Sex should not hurt the first time, or the next time if the guy takes his time and goes slowly and you use lubrication. The hymen is a little extra skin that is tight but can be stretched and covers just a sliver of the vaginal opening usually on one side or a little on both. I have only recently had it brought to my attention that there is such a thing as the strip of hymen running straight down the middle creating two smaller openings.This is called a septate hymen and you can look this up on line with photos. Get a mirror and check if this is the case for you. This would be very painful but likely you would never have been able to fit a tampon in let alone vibrators and such. If the pain is not due to either of the first two reasons, perhaps the guy is longer than the amount of room you have when fully aroused or he never takes the time to get you fully aroused and give you several orgasms before he gets inside. The uterus and cervix will pull back giving more room when aroused but if he is still longer than the amount of room you have, no matter how careful, hitting the cervix or to the sides of it can be painful. I once had a guy too long for me and he hit nerves on either side of cervix causing charlie horse like painful cramps down my legs. That ended that relationship.
Let your partner know you are having pain and ask him to look and see if he can spot a septate hymen, it is very rare so thats likely not the case. Ask him to work on you getting you aroused first, most fingering doesnt do anything if he doesnt know really what he's looking for in clitoral or g spot stimulation and it can take as long as 15 20- min. average for women to get to the point of being aroused enough to have some orgasms first. THIS does not mean like a man she is done for rest of the evening onces she s had an orgasm, this is only the start. Once a lady is turned on, it takes a long long time before she is done. So have a talk with him. Truly work on all possible issues to make it a pleasant experience for you. If you still have troubles, you may want to talk to your dr. which is necessary if it is a septate hymen.
i am in my 60s & have always loved women. having been married once, (we were together 12 yrs), then married. do not drink, do drugs, or hang round those that do. have high regards for law enforcement, but have always gotten into trouble, younger. have led an interesting life, traveling all over U.S. for work, w/ex & other gals. I use to be so muscular, i looked scarry. have always loved life. just cannot figure out what i am doing wrong. last three gals turned out to be dopers and/or prostitutes. thank god i never caught anything. no matter how ard i try...nothing works. i am not very religious. am going to retire in 4 years. have a great place overlooking the water. i thought i was changing my past for the better. depression is a everyday thing off& on. really do not have nothing to look forward to. hate bars, & tired of confrontations. want to just dissapear. the only time i feel good is if i am spending money on someone or just spending money. what a boring / lonely life. Am sick of it.
I know little of your situation as to where you met the last three. I assume that other women you traveled US with while working were ok and its only the last three that were a problem.
One thing you need to realize is that as you get older, it is going to be harder to find a woman in your age bracket who wants a man for companionship, love, sex, marriage or all of that.
For many, it's a "been there done that" and don't want to repeat being in relationship with a guy cus either they had to raise their husband ike another child, all he wanted was a mommy or he played around on her all the time, or he was abusive. Women either have no trust, never got over it, or a few go looking to see if they can find something better later in life. I did. First marriage was abusive. I tried the social togethers for singles. Singles clubs where they organize hikes, dances, putt putt golf or whatever other activity for a group of singles to mingle. I was hunting for something specific so although many find someone that way, it was too slow and painful a process to go through. I went to on line sites which for women who are serious about meeting a guy, its a good way, not as easy for guys. But it does work. One day it can do is cut through lots of the crap. Someone can still fake things on line and in phone calls so if they seem promising, you meet at a coffee shop and if they don't pass tests there, you dont see them again. My profile said no drugs, no smoking and like guy to be the same. He had to be spiritual but not religious, open minded, have a high libido, enjoy taking good care of themselves but not to the exclusion of everything else important, and he had to be snipped, have a vasectomy as I was too close to menopause for drs to bother with operation for me, I couldn't be on pill, hormones were causing fibroids to grow and my best option was a man who could not get me pregnant cus I wanted sex and a condom wouldn't do. It was easy to screen out some people. Guys wrote who said I was too picky and shouldnt put the part about 'being snipped' that says the guy doesn't know how to love a girl enough to get that done for her if it was an issue. The vasectomy is cheaper and faster easier to recover from than for the female. Others said they did not smoke. They had a rough sounding voice and coughed alot on phone. I asked if they smoked, some admitted they did but they didn't think it would matter once i got to know them. Others said nothing until I met them face to face and smelled tobacco on them. Those who spoke in the negative as to what they wwere looking for were to be avoided cus they had a negative outlook on life already, had been jaded by past experience, never recovered, not a healthy choice to get mixed up with. What I mean by talking in the negative: I don't want women who lie, I don't want women who've let themselves go, I dont want women who are always suspicious and check up on me, the positive version would be I enjoy women who can be open and truthful, who care about their looks and stay in shape, I like a woman who is willing to work on trust, and is laid back and easy going.
See the difference. You basically have to become your own sleuth and sift through every word shared, try to get a feel for things. Look for times where the person contradicts themselves. Saying one statement one day, and changing it the next. I caught a guy like that. I did not accuse him, just said, in your profile you said you llike chinese food and today you said you'd like to take me out to dinner, anywhere but chinese cus you hate chinese food. You might want to double check what you wrote in your profile and change that. (it wasnt an issue of what food he liked or not, it was the fact he said two conflicting things. All he had to say was, well I made that up just to impress you cus you like it but i shouldn't have said that, i'm sorry. And that can be understood and forgiven. Or gee, I didn't realize I had that in there, thats not what I meant to say..or some other such explanation, nope...not this guy--he burst out in anger on the phone Are you saying I am lieing? I Have a right to change my mind if I want to and thats none of your business!! Okay...cross him off the list.
So either try the singles get togethers...people of all ages show up or look for groups especially for older people. Try meetup.com which is not a dating site but a way to meet people, make friends in a setting where you get together over a favorite hobby or subject, whether its playing board games, reiki healing, those who love gardening, etc... its a good way to make new friends and observe people for a while at meetings before you make a move to ask for a date.
Either that or try internet dating. It takes lots of time and will seem like a waste. I literally was contacted by hundreds of guys, I kept a rough count of how many wrote to me over time, after 600, i stopped counting. But I did find that one in a million who is exactly what I was looking for. We've been together 5 yrs.
I wish you luck. If you have any specific questions to ask, I'd be glad to try and help, just write and let me know.
I have a friend named Sarah we've been friends for about a year now. She has a guy named John she's never been boyfriend with but has liked for a year now too. John and her both hook up with other people and not just eachother. Last week she heard from someone me and John had hooked up before drunkenly we made out. I do not remember this at all. Also it happened 10 months ago when she was actually still kind of seeing her ex boyfriend. She also hooked up with a guy I dated and lied to me about it but she's somehow trying to turn ppl against me. She did the same thing to me and everyone's mad at me right now because her and John have been good lately. Did I do anything wrong?
It doesn't sound like any of these people you are talking about including yourself has made any deep commitment to one person. This all sounds more like relationships at the "friends with benefits" level.
The only problem I see is people getting drunk enough so their minds aren't clear thinking, and they sleep or make out with someone while under the influence.
That of course is doing something that although you had no idea what you were doing or maybe did, the original decision to drink too much and be in the company of people you'd be tempted to sleep with is making a decision that is not in your best interest while still sober. It sounds like the kind of drama of high school or college. Some people are not ready to let that go, for what ever reasons. Others are ready to grow up and start studying the life lessons that can't be learned in school, or from peers cus most people dont have a clue...and then go on with their life.
Find a purpose to live, who are you deep down inside. What are your needs and wants. What you are looking for in a guy/ do you want just social friends, friends with benefits? or a long term committed partner? Ask yourself why you feel the need to over drink? Is it to forget something in your past, is it to gain a sense of bravery to face whatever it is that is hard to do without?
As long as you are worried about what others think, and what they are doing right or wrong, you will stay stuck because the only person you have the ability to have effect on and change for the better is yourself. Don't feel like I am attacking you dear, we all get stuck in ruts in our lives in one way or another, just trying to get you to start really thinking for yourself, start self analyzing to determine what would be your next best move.
If you feel any apologys are in order, then do so.
If two people aren't dating long enough to be a couple, like dating for a week, then broke up then back together for two weeks then broke up and seeing others, then back together 2 months then broke up and dating others again, if its this kind of pattern....then there is not the maturity of character yet in either person to really make a commitment to the other person with their heart. They can say the words but words are cheap. If you made out with someone who has not been able to make such a commitment to another female, then I don't see where any person was any better position than the other as far as being more in the right. He made the same decisions that led him to make out with you...it doesnt fall solely on your shoulders.
As long as you hang out with people who have no more direction in life as you, this will keep happening in some way or other.
If you want to talk more, you can write me anytime. I'll be glad to help give you food for thought to help you with any changes you may want to make.
Me and my bf have been giving each other love notes, but should i bring it up to the next level and what should i get him? Thanks for reading : )
Only you know if the relationship is at a point where gifts would be appreciated. If you've known him a very short time, giving him expensive gifts may scare him that the relationship is getting too serious too fast. But then, maybe you are there already at a serious relationship, you didn't give any details to go on.
What would be safe is something like making him a CD of some of his favorite music, burning a disc of some you have on your computer. Another homemade gift is making a batch of his favorite cookies and packaging them up all fancy to give him. If you are crafty and love beading, make him a homemade choker necklace with a pendant on it of something he's into, dolphin, a cross, owl, etc...whatever can be found at a craft store sold like charms for a charm bracelet. I have done all three and they were very much appreciated and since very little money goes into these kinds of gifts, they are seen more as thoughtful and caring rather than too serious. Then after a while of these types of gifts, store bought items will be fine. If he has a favorite sport team, something like a hat or tee with their logo on it. Buying a CD or if they're a movie buff, a DVD.
So this is something I've always been curious about a girl I've known since kindergarten but never asked about for obvious reasons.
Around the 6th-7th grade, this girl I went to school with but wasn't great friends with started going bald at her hairline right where her hairline and forehead meet. It was very obvious and eventually some people starting calling her mean nicknames behind her back. I noticed her try multiple ways to hide it (like wearing her hair in side bangs or in a poof) but none ever really worked. I used to think she might have tried cutting her hair and just messed up really bad, but 8 years later and it's now even worse.
I've just seen her upload a new picture on Facebook recently and noticed it had progressed to around the middle of her hairline. That's what prompted this question, being reminded of an 8 year curiosity. Anybody have any ideas as to what it could be? (she's always had very thin hair, if that means anything)
It could be bad genetics, even if her parents haven't had the same problems. Since it sounds like Alopecia I will provide a link. Look up the word online and look at images on line and likely you will find something similar to what your friend has.
It can occur in men and women, at any age, you don't have to be older to get it. One cause is auto immune disorder and another version is caused due to stress. My sister had the stress related one. Once she got rid of the stress, her hair grew back.
Since hers started at a young age, more likely it is connected to something going on physically in her body. If you get a chance to talk to her, ask if she's seen a doctor and got tested to see what might be causing it. Otherwise it will continue over time until she has no hair and will be forced to wear a wig if she doesn't like how she looks bald.
http://www.medicinenet.com/alopecia_areata/article.htm
i am in love about 2years.i want to convence my parents about my love.how can i.?i want ur help very soon.!
This is rather vague, not enough details like: what age are you, are you male or female, what country do you live in, do they have cultural or religious beliefs that may have an impact on how they view love and marriage?
Without knowing any details, all I can say is to invite the parents to meet your love and introduce the person as a friend, have this person over to parents house often so they get to know the person and get used to him/her and get a feeling for the character of the person. Then after they've had time to get to know the person, then you tell them how you feel about them, that the person is more than just a friend.
I want to be an athiest because I just don't believe in god and I want to tell my parents but they wud be so mad how do I break it down to them that I don't believe in god?
I don't know what type of church background the parents have so their reaction may differ depending on what type of Christian belief they adher to, or why they attend a church.
If the parents attend a church and say they believe in God more because their parents always did and its a family heritage thing and social thing than a true solid belief, chances are they will be understanding and allow you to go your own path. If its a Catholic church, some can be very open minded so it all depends. If on the other hand, the parents are involved in something more like Baptist, Assembly of God, or any other spirit filled, speaking in tongues church...then you're just going to have to face the fact that no matter how you tell them, this will be opening a can of worms so to speak. I used to be with such churches and decided to blindly accept everything I was told, narrow minded thinking, not thinking for myself however later in life, not through influence of any people or society, but thru spiritual influence that came from within me, I have developed my own beliefs which are more pagan, earth based, with a belief in God and Goddess which is also seen in my eyes as Jesus and Holy Spirit.
It could be that you are truly atheist, or it could be that like me, you are more against all the lies, indoctrination, the twisting of original intents in the bible or of Jesus words, sick of the blind beliefs, the man made doctrines, etc... that misrepresent God. It may not be that you don't believe in God but that you don't believe in the God they believe in because I can tell you right now, that God does not exist. Doe a God exist? Is there some higher power? I believe so but only through personal experience.
Experience makes the difference. Theres that saying, "I'll believe it when I see it." For me it has been, "I'll believe it when I experience it." Once upon a time, I did not believe in spirit guides. I had no choice but to believe once I experienced mine showing up and seeing him clearly in my mind as clear as seeing a person with your eyes open.
You know your parents best so it's up to you whether to be subtle and give hints by questionings things and finally telling them or just getting it over it and making the statement, I don't believe in God, I am an atheist.
It might be easier to leave out the word Atheist and say something like,
"I don't believe in the type of God that you and I don't know what type of church background the parents have so their reaction may differ depending on what type of Christian belief they adher to, or why they attend a church.
If the parents attend a church and say they believe in God more because their parents always did and its a family heritage thing and social thing than a true solid belief, chances are they will be understanding and allow you to go your own path. If its a Catholic church, some can be very open minded so it all depends. If on the other hand, the parents are involved in something more like Baptist, Assembly of God, or any other spirit filled, speaking in tongues church...then you're just going to have to face the fact that no matter how you tell them, this will be opening a can of worms so to speak. I used to be with such churches and decided to blindly accept everything I was told, narrow minded thinking, not thinking for myself however later in life, not through influence of any people or society, but thru spiritual influence that came from within me, I have developed my own beliefs which are more pagan, earth based, with a belief in God and Goddess which is also seen in my eyes as Jesus and Holy Spirit.
It could be that you are truly atheist, or it could be that like me, you are more against all the lies, indoctrination, the twisting of original intents in the bible or of Jesus words, sick of the blind beliefs, the man made doctrines, etc... that misrepresent God. It may not be that you don't believe in God but that you don't believe in the God they believe in because I can tell you right now, that God does not exist. Doe a God exist? Is there some higher power? I believe so but only through personal experience.
Experience makes the difference. Theres that saying, "I'll believe it when I see it." For me it has been, "I'll believe it when I experience it." Once upon a time, I did not believe in spirit guides. I had no choice but to believe once I experienced mine showing up and seeing him clearly in my mind as clear as seeing a person with your eyes open.
You know your parents best so it's up to you whether to be subtle and give hints by questionings things and finally telling them or just getting it over it and making the statement, I don't believe in God, I am an atheist.
It might be easier to leave out the word Atheist and say something like,
"I don't believe in the type of God that you and the church believes in. Not sure I can tell you what I believe in but it certainly isn't that. If God does exist, then I want to be able to discover that on my own in my own way, and part of it includes no longer pretending I believe exactly like you by attending church."
If they were agreeable to you attending a church of your own choosing, then to transition out of the Christian indoctrination, youurch of your own choosing, then to transition you might check out the Universalist churches, Unitarians, and see if any members of such churches would be willing to pick you up if you don't drive yet or have a car. If the parents don't know much about these churches, they may be willing to let you go and be satisfied. They are accepting of people of all faiths who come together to support each other. I attended a few times with a boyfriend. I liked it well enough...reminded me more of a social gathering and support type group rather than a church so it may be tolerable for you until you reach legal age and can make your own decisions no matter what mom and dad likes. As long as you are under their roof and under age, they know they are responsible for your training whether they are misguided or not they are doing the best they can.
Here's a twist, start praying that their eyes would be opened to really spot the inconsistencies in indoctrination and start thinking for themselves. My non Christian sister did that for me even tho it looked like I'd never come around, but I did, my eyes were opened and I began to make my own spiritual choices and beliefs.
You might have interest in something called the Urantia Book. I've read it and it answered lots of questions the church can not. It includes how we evolved from apes and then later a couple named Adam and Eve were sent to help guide the people who evolved here, Adam and Eve story totally different from bible, and story of heaven, God and all the levels of spiritual beings as never explained in church, a different story of Jesus and his reason for coming to earth, it wasn't to die for our sins, etc...I am sure you will enjoy it whether you believe it or not. heres the link: http://www.urantiabook.org/
the church believes in. Not sure I can tell you what I believe in but it certainly isn't that. If God does exist, then I want to be able to discover that on my own in my own way, and part I don't know what type of church background the parents have so their reaction may differ depending on what type of Christian belief they adher to, or why they attend a church.
If the parents attend a church and say they believe in God more because their parents always did and its a family heritage thing and social thing than a true solid belief, chances are they will be understanding and allow you to go your own path. If its a Catholic church, some can be very open minded so it all depends. If on the other hand, the parents are involved in something more like Baptist, Assembly of God, or any other spirit filled, speaking in tongues church...then you're just going to have to face the fact that no matter how you tell them, this will be opening a can of worms so to speak. I used to be with such churches and decided to blindly accept everything I was told, narrow minded thinking, not thinking for myself however later in life, not through influence of any people or society, but thru spiritual influence that came from within me, I have developed my own beliefs which are more pagan, earth based, with a belief in God and Goddess which is also seen in my eyes as Jesus and Holy Spirit.
It could be that you are truly atheist, or it could be that like me, you are more against all the lies, indoctrination, the twisting of original intents in the bible or of Jesus words, sick of the blind beliefs, the man made doctrines, etc... that misrepresent God. It may not be that you don't believe in God but that you don't believe in the God they believe in because I can tell you right now, that God does not exist. Doe a God exist? Is there some higher power? I believe so but only through personal experience.
Experience makes the difference. Theres that saying, "I'll believe it when I see it." For me it has been, "I'll believe it when I experience it." Once upon a time, I did not believe in spirit guides. I had no choice but to believe once I experienced mine showing up and seeing him clearly in my mind as clear as seeing a person with your eyes open.
You know your parents best so it's up to you whether to be subtle and give hints by questionings things and finally telling them or just getting it over it and making the statement, I don't believe in God, I am an atheist.
It might be easier to leave out the word Atheist and say something like,
"I don't believe in the type of God that you and the church believes in. Not sure I can tell you what I believe in but it certainly isn't that. If God does exist, then I want to be able to discover that on my own in my own way, and part of it includes no longer pretending I believe exactly like you by attending church."
If they were agreeable to you attending a church of your own choosing, then to transition out of the Christian indoctrination, youurch of your own choosing, then to transition you might check out the Universalist churches, Unitarians, and see if any members of such churches would be willing to pick you up if you don't drive yet or have a car. If the parents don't know much about these churches, they may be willing to let you go and be satisfied. They are accepting of people of all faiths who come together to support each other. I attended a few times with a boyfriend. I liked it well enough...reminded me more of a social gathering and support type group rather than a church so it may be tolerable for you until you reach legal age and can make your own decisions no matter what mom and dad likes. As long as you are under their roof and under age, they know they are responsible for your training whether they are misguided or not they are doing the best they can.
Here's a twist, start praying that their eyes would be opened to really spot the inconsistencies in indoctrination and start thinking for themselves. My non Christian sister did that for me even tho it looked like I'd never come around, but I did, my eyes were opened and I began to make my own spiritual choices and beliefs.
You might have interest in something called the Urantia Book. I've read it and it answered lots of questions the church can not. It includes how we evolved from apes and then later a couple named Adam and Eve were sent to help guide the people who evolved here, Adam and Eve story totally different from bible, and story of heaven, God and all the levels of spiritual beings as never explained in church, a different story of Jesus and his reason for coming to earth, it wasn't to die for our sins, etc...I am sure you will enjoy it whether you believe it or not. heres the link: http://www.urantiabook.org/
of it includes no longer pretending I believe exactly like you by attending church."
If they were agreeable to you attending a church of your own choosing, then to transition out of the Christian indoctrination, youurch of your own choosing, then to transition you might check out the Universalist churches, Unitarians, and see if any members of such churches would be willing to pick you up if you don't drive yet or have a car. If the parents don't know much about these churches, they may be willing to let you go and be satisfied. They are accepting of people of all faiths who come together to support each other. I attended a few times with a boyfriend. I liked it well enough...reminded me more of a social gathering and support type group rather than a church so it may be tolerable for you until you reach legal age and can make your own decisions no matter what mom and dad likes. As long as you I don't know what type of church background the parents have so their reaction may differ depending on what type of Christian belief they adher to, or why they attend a church.
If the parents attend a church and say they believe in God more because their parents always did and its a family heritage thing and social thing than a true solid belief, chances are they will be understanding and allow you to go your own path. If its a Catholic church, some can be very open minded so it all depends. If on the other hand, the parents are involved in something more like Baptist, Assembly of God, or any other spirit filled, speaking in tongues church...then you're just going to have to face the fact that no matter how you tell them, this will be opening a can of worms so to speak. I used to be with such churches and decided to blindly accept everything I was told, narrow minded thinking, not thinking for myself however later in life, not through influence of any people or society, but thru spiritual influence that came from within me, I have developed my own beliefs which are more pagan, earth based, with a belief in God and Goddess which is also seen in my eyes as Jesus and Holy Spirit.
It could be that you are truly atheist, or it could be that like me, you are more against all the lies, indoctrination, the twisting of original intents in the bible or of Jesus words, sick of the blind beliefs, the man made doctrines, etc... that misrepresent God. It may not be that you don't believe in God but that you don't believe in the God they believe in because I can tell you right now, that God does not exist. Doe a God exist? Is there some higher power? I believe so but only through personal experience.
Experience makes the difference. Theres that saying, "I'll believe it when I see it." For me it has been, "I'll believe it when I experience it." Once upon a time, I did not believe in spirit guides. I had no choice but to believe once I experienced mine showing up and seeing him clearly in my mind as clear as seeing a person with your eyes open.
You know your parents best so it's up to you whether to be subtle and give hints by questionings things and finally telling them or just getting it over it and making the statement, I don't believe in God, I am an atheist.
It might be easier to leave out the word Atheist and say something like,
"I don't believe in the type of God that you and the church believes in. Not sure I can tell you what I believe in but it certainly isn't that. If God does exist, then I want to be able to discover that on my own in my own way, and part of it includes no longer pretending I believe exactly like you by attending church."
If they were agreeable to you attending a church of your own choosing, then to transition out of the Christian indoctrination, youurch of your own choosing, then to transition you might check out the Universalist churches, Unitarians, and see if any members of such churches would be willing to pick you up if you don't drive yet or have a car. If the parents don't know much about these churches, they may be willing to let you go and be satisfied. They are accepting of people of all faiths who come together to support each other. I attended a few times with a boyfriend. I liked it well enough...reminded me more of a social gathering and support type group rather than a church so it may be tolerable for you until you reach legal age and can make your own decisions no matter what mom and dad likes. As long as you are under their roof and under age, they know they are responsible for your training whether they are misguided or not they are doing the best they can.
Here's a twist, start praying that their eyes would be opened to really spot the inconsistencies in indoctrination and start thinking for themselves. My non Christian sister did that for me even tho it looked like I'd never come around, but I did, my eyes were opened and I began to make my own spiritual choices and beliefs.
You might have interest in something called the Urantia Book. I've read it and it answered lots of questions the church can not. It includes how we evolved from apes and then later a couple named Adam and Eve were sent to help guide the people who evolved here, Adam and Eve story totally different from bible, and story of heaven, God and all the levels of spiritual beings as never explained in church, a different story of Jesus and his reason for coming to earth, it wasn't to die for our sins, etc...I am sure you will enjoy it whether you believe it or not. heres the link: http://www.urantiabook.org/
are under their roof and under age, they know they are responsible for your training whether they are misguided or not they are doing the best they can.
Here's a twist, start praying that their eyes would be opened to really spot the inconsistencies in indoctrination and start thinking for themselves. My non Christian sister did that for me even tho it looked like I'd never come around, but I did, my eyes were opened and I began to make my own spiritual choices and beliefs.
You might have interest in something called the Urantia Book. I've read it and it answered lots of questions the church can not. It includes how we evolved from apes and then later a couple named Adam and Eve were sent to help guide the people who evolved here, Adam and Eve story totally different from bible, and story of heaven, God and all the levels of spiritual beings as never explained in church, a different story of Jesus and his reason for coming to earth, it wasn't to die for our sins, etc...I am sure you will enjoy it whether you believe it or not. heres the link: http://www.urantiabook.org/
So I'm an Arab and a Muslim. I am not what you would think of when I said Arab. I wear shorts and am a blond with dark hazel eyes. I'm as pale as Snow White and have delicate arms but strong muscular legs(socce player) I am so tired of being judged for being an Arab or not covering up. Just today, I said I couldn't have pork because I am Muslim and asked for a salad instead( in the caf during lunch) and the girl wearing a scarf behind me said," you are not a Muslim. Cover your hair. Mabey then well accept you." And walked to her group of friends all wearing scarves. Last week a boy called me a terrorist and later thet week wrapped his jacket around his head ( imitating a scarf) and pretended he was bombing a building and said look I'm hannah!( I'm hannah) WHAT THE HECK! I am not accepted into either society. I have friends but it is still a stab in the back.i mean first off, no where in the Quaran does it say to cover your hair.it says to dress modestly ,which I do!! Islam is all about being kind to one another and to accept others. I wanna yell you're not Muslim! You are showing no acceptance! Now about the boy, Islam the actual word means peace. The people of the Taliban are not Muslim so don't connect me with them! I just feel like I am proving this to myself, am I right? Please don't judge Muslims or people in general. I just wanna say that the American Muslims are not all what you see on tv. We are regular people! We still celebrate Christmas to celebrate a prophets bday but we do not celebrate a gods or gods son bday on Christmas. We don't all look the same or talk the same. Just help me out and don't judge.
You can be proud to be Muslim but you don't have to give 'being Muslim' as the reason in any explanations.
If I was offered pork, I'd quickly say, "No thanks, I'll take some salad instead." If they want to know why (its none of their business to ask why anyways) but if I am in the mood to answer, then i say," I am part vegetarian, I only eat certain seafood and chicken, nothing else." People accept that and never ask anything else.
I am sure they get students often enough refuse a certain food item because they are allergic to it or they simply hate the taste or texture of it.
When young people are growing up, their bodies and their sexual organs develop faster than the brain. The frontal part of brain used to make good choices and understand consequences, and to be mature, does not finish developing until our mid twenties so if you're younger than that, they likely won't grow up until they are quite a bit older and even then they still may not make the best decisions. If you are older than mid twenties, you are going to have to be patient and work to find people who are accepting of all belief systems. You probably wont find them at school. You will need to search for specific groups that have something totally different than their belief systems in common. Sometimes, you can find understanding people in groups that are also harrassed and totally misunderstood such as those of alternative sex lifestyles, gay, bi, transexual, asexual, etc... or how about Pagans and witches. I used to be Christian and now am more spiritual with a leaning toward Pagan and witches. Narrowed minded people think we are all satanists, going to hell, and christians want to save our souls, etc... even Goth people are not part of paganism but you may find them in our groups. Its a choice of how to dress and because it is different than the majority, people make assumptions without bothering to study the facts for themselves or just are lazy and choose to believe what they are spoon fed by the media.
So if I wear a pentacle necklace, there is a chance I may draw negative comments, if i announce to people constantly that i am a pagan or a witch, I will most surely find opposition and harassment.
It is not fair hon that people treat you this way. However honestly trying to explain that you are Muslim will attract negative attention, it's like waving a red flag at a bull, it is going to attack. As you well pointed out, even those who call themselves Muslim have no idea what it is to truly be one and are terrible representations of what the Quaran says it is. Heck, people are prone to misinterpret very easily and fall into grave error. The Christians are so anti pagan and yet it is a sister religion if you want to call it that. The Christian beliefs known today were formed around many pagan traditions and holidays to actually catch their interest and their conversation much more easily and it worked in part. So the Christmas that is celebrated isn't even Jesus actual birthday, it was set close to Yule/winter solstice that pagans celebrate. Same for Halloween and Easter and others.
North America is a melting pot where people are so different and changed from their original blood heritage or even the original belief systems. For example I have met those who qualify as having Native American blood but look nothing like those who have more native blood. They are very white white and have hair in many different shades and styles. Same thing as you are saying for Muslims.
YOu might try focusing your energy into the writing of a blog dedicated to educating people on what it is like to be an American Muslim. You may actually make some friends and connections that way. You expressed yourself well and I would love to see you take some of the points you made and expound on them.
Another thing to try is finding a group of people who love to celebrate the fact that they are all spiritual creatures with differing beliefs systems that are accepted by all in the group. I am part of such an online group, set up much like facebook but totally separate. It is called Spiritualnetworks.com Make sure the s in networks in there or you get a totally different site. It is a place you can begin to feel acceptance and hopefully you'll eventually find the accepting individuals or groups in real life, not just via the computer.
Is Demi Lovato against the LGBT community? Like, I know she's religious. All answers appreciated.
The only stuff I will ever believe about any famous people/celebrities is when I hear it in a live TV interview from their own mouth.
I don't rely on written representations of anything about famous people because the media tries to sensationalize info, twist it around or outright lie to get the ratings. It doesnt matter who the source is. So someone could answer you, yes she's anti LGBT and someone else say No she isn't, but unless you have seen on video and heard it from her own mouth, it's not 100% positive that it is so.
So, this is kind of a long story, but I am going to try and condense it as much as possible. I am a 22 year old female, soon to be 23. When I was 18 years old, I was planning on going away for college, but due to a series of events (family members becoming ill, going through some personal things), I decided to stay home. I was planning on going away the second year, and then the third year, etc. After the third year passed and I was still home, I did not see a point in leaving because it would take me longer to complete school and most of my credits may not transfer to another university (you know how that is, it can be difficult). So, I stayed home and finished school here, while living at home. I decided to make the best out of it, so I got involved in the university, and have been holding 2 part time jobs. For the first 2 years, of my school, my mom was not working. I was completely and totally supporting myself and her. Now, she is working, but I am still working in 2 part time jobs.
two years ago, I met my boyfriend. She met him and she loved him. But, I really believe my mom is bipolar. she changes her mind about things too quickly and too sporadically. The first nine months, she LOVED him. She would always make us dinner when he came over and she was so happy that I had a nice guy in my life. I was pretty happy too. I live with my mom and my grandparents. My grandparents come from a different upbringing where a woman should not be out alone unless she is married. they are very strict. I am almost 23 and I am not allowed to drive by myself at night. Therefore, I can't pick any night classes. I am not allowed to sleep over at anyone's house or have anyone sleep here. I cannot be out past 6pm without my mom or my boyfriend. It's really crazy. I have no privacy in my home. Sometimes, I just want to be alone so I can talk on the phone or do my work. But, that doesn't happen. They will break down the door if they want to talk to me. They even come into the bathroom while I'm in the shower and open the shower curtain. Sometimes, I see that I have 25 missed calls and they are either from my mom or my grandma. My aunt lives across the street and she has just as much authority as they do. I feel very suffocated.
You must be thinking, why hasn't she moved out? Well, let me explain. I live in a VERY expensive city. The cheapest apartment I have found is $1100. That is a lot considering my monthly income is about $1200. But, now I am seeing the need to move out more and more. My mom has started hating my boyfriend. She has never met his family and she says she hates them too. She has given me until decemeber to break up with him and says that is all that she's giving me. I found out something disturbing about the family that I do not wish to put here. I understand that when you marry someone, you marry their family, but my mom has treated him horribly and he has put up with it. I don't like this kind of pressure. I am taking this one step at time and praying about it. but, I don't like to be given these kind of timelines. I am graduating in December and I was planning on moving out right away so that she won't harass me with this anymore.
I graduated with a major in education, but I am getting my masters in speech. I have a year before I can start school again for my masters because I need to take the pre-requisites. So, I was thinking of taking a teaching job in the meantime so that I can move out. However, I know that I need to save money because I really want to go away from my masters. I hate the city that I live in. I want to explore the world. I've talked to my boyfriend about it and he will be done with his masters by the time I finish my pre-reqs. So, he would be willing to come with me. I would love to even apply to schools in the UK. I'm not saying I'm going that far... but, I need to save money for wherever it is that I do go. Should I take a teaching job? Even though I'm working on my pre-requisites? How about moving out? Would it be the right thing to do now?
Please help!
You will not have a life of your own until you get away from all family members, plain and simple. They mean well but their customs and belief systems whether they ever did work, applied to times in the past. Trying to live by customs of the past while navigating in todays world, does not mix well at all. Due to expense and not being able to get out on your own in your city, I would certainly choose any situation that presents itself as a way to make that first break...but for one exception...do not marry someone to get away from them just because they feel its the only proper way to go. You should marry for love, not because the guy is your ticket out no matter how he treats you. In desperation to get away, girls have decided to settle for less and marry a jerk to get away from controlling family.
If you can pull this off without marrying, do so. If at any future point in time, the boyfriend doesnt work out for you, don't stay with him. Proceed to living on your own and then looking for a sweetheart when you are ready.
Good luck dear.
I am always the third wheel. With my two friends Mary and magan I feel like I don't belong. They are meant to b bffs though. Their name both start with m, mine starts with h, they live across the street from eachother, I'm way out of their neighborhood, and they are bornEXACTLY one month apart, I'm a month and 3 days. Mary's dad always picks Megan for the soccer team( you can only pick one person for the soccer team and your daughter. The rest is picked randomly) I think why can't I be on her team for one season and meggers for the other season? I get that Megan's mom can't always take her to practice cause if the baby but the park is a mile away!!!! They make me feel included but I just feel like we are not as close as we could be. I don't want to create drama by telling them how I feel. How would I even say it? Hey guys. You're making me feel left out and it's making me sad.can you guys include me more when inviting each other over? I know you guys hang out so often cause you're neighbors but call me anyways. I'll come.( sounds good so far but every time I practice it in my room I burst into tears) i have other friends too but again I feel like the third wheel. At least with Mary and Megan I understand them as much as they understand me.uhhh I wish life could just b the way it was in kindergarten. You wanna be friends? Sure! Lets go play with crayons.
It does not sound as if anyone is purposely leaving you out. Sometimes people get into habits such as the choosing team members, and they keep repeating and doing the same thing cus they've always done it. No other reason. I'll tell you right now that likely the thought of choosing someone else like you has never occurred to Mary's dad. r
Some of your assumptions are just silly but I can understand...you are miserable not having one close best friend, many friends but not one that you spend the majority of time with and you both are each others first choice in companionship. It's easier to come with with reasons it might be so but that have no place in reality. The first letter of someones name or when their birthday falls has nothing to do with people meant to be best friends. If that were the case, every person in your town who is your age with a first initial H and a birthday within a month of yours might be best friends with you and that could possibly mean having dozens upon dozens of best friends.
Most of the feelings you have are due to your subconscious mind over analysing and adding more possible scenerios to the scenes that play out in your head, like watching a sad movie unfold on screen.
I like your plan of saying something, but it can't be to place blame. Your idea of " I know you guys hang out so often cause you're neighbors but call me anyways. I'll come." and add: I get kinda lonely by myself and there's no one else that lives near me that I am friends with. I don't have any real close best friend like you two have each other so would you try to remember to invite me over? If once you've told them and lets say nothing changes, they still don't invite you, then it's time to look for other friends. But i Doubt that it will be a problem. the bigger problem is your counting in your mind how often the two of them spent time versus how oftv'en they included you. As for the soccer team deal, next time you're at Marys house when her dad is there, ask him a question. the time to ask is before hand, not at the moment team members are being chosen.Tell him there have been times when you hoped he would chose you for the team but it has never happened. Ask him if there is any particular reason why he has only chosen Mary and Megan. Then he either explains why and even if you don't like the reason, accept it, or he says he's sorry he had no idea how you felt, he will make an effort to choose you next time.
Remember that it is not drama to give people information or to ask questions and gather information. Drama would be getting your emotions involved by placing blame: You make me feel... You always do that... or angry tones of voice or crying.
If you did to your horror, start crying in front of them. Tell them you are sorry, that you are just kinda emotional (blame
or the better thing to say: I'm not doing this to make you feel guilty...I just have been very lonely lately and I know it has more to do with my own negative thoughts than anything going on. So please excuse my tears. But I did want to bring up the point that where I live shouldn't make you feel I am not available to come hang out.
If as you grow up you continue to find that the special close bond doesnt form between you and other females, then perhaps the unique person you are is not meant to be a best friend to another girl but towards a guy. There are many girls who have shared that their closest and best friend is a guy. There may be something in your personality that females don't as easily respond to. Nothing weird or abnormal about it. I for example prefer males for friends over females. I have females for friends but I enjoy male friendship much more. There may be a guy wanting a best friend too, and that just might be you.
I wasn't really sure what category to put this in, but I guess it's kind of a pet question...
So, I've decided to write a story about a homeless black cat (I have a black cat, so she inspired me), but I don't know what to name her. The name is probably going to be the title, so I need something that really stands out. In other words, I need a name for a female black cat (And please, nothing like 'cutie' or 'brownie' or anything like that) that sounds kind of sweet and simple. Thank you!
Thing of things that might be black in color and start looking them up on line to get more ideas. Sometimes the name for such a thing or the word black in another language. I have looked up a few, the rest of web surfing for ideas is up to you.
Negrita: a black fish in the sea bass family
Onyx:black gemstone
Obsidian: black gemstone
Jet: black gemstone
Raven: a black bird
Crow: a black bird
Kuro: Japanese word for black
Shipita: word for black in Native Crow.tribe
or check out this list of names for black cats and dogs.
I didn't think of this one but Licorice is on that list and would be a cute cat name.
I have this crush on a girl that i really like. But i get the feeling she likes somebody else, how do i make her like me?
No one can force another person to like them. So you can't 'make' a person like you.
But you can do your best to make sure a person takes notice of you and knows you exist. If there is chemistry between you, then she will be attracted too. Sometimes the popular girl has no boyfriend cus they are all too afraid she's out of their league and don't bother trying or assume because she talks to a guy alot that he's her boyfriend. Many girls have written in here who have a boy as a best friend but she doesnt have romantic feelings for him.
So here's what you do. Guys who like a girl find excuses to get near them. Walking up to them and saying hi. Hanging around and joining a conversation, if you stand close enough to be arms length away and she doesnt step back to create more space between you, then she likes you enough to not be turned off by you. That is one body language thing people do with those they are interested in. Finding excuses to bump up against their arm or touch them in other ways is good too. Compliment her, smile alot at her. I will post two links, one on body language clues, and one on innocent flirting that is not glaringly obvious. If you employ these tactics and she backs away or asks What do you think you are doing or stop bugging me, then obviously she is not attracted to you the same way you are to her.
In life, sometimes it isn't fair but the interest is only one sided. When it is, be mature about it and leave the person alone and move on to search for a new interest.
http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/relationship-advice/read_romantic_body_language.shtml
http://www.wikihow.com/Touch-a-Guy
This 2nd link says how to touch/flirt with a guy, it all works for a girl too, you can even reach out to pretend to smooth some hair of hers down, saying that she had hair sticking out...of course not when anyone else is around to refute that. I like the remove an imaginary eyelash on her cheek, so dont wait for an opportunity to touch, create the opportunity. Good luck
What do u talk about during a slow dance?
You don't have to talk. Depends on how well you know the person. I have been at dances that were for singles to meet up, so each person was new to me and we did the whole thing of intros, asking names, and other such stuff to get to know each other.
If you know the person well, and love them or have feelings for them, pay them some compliments, you like what they are wearing, you like their cologne, and then go on to share something interesting you hear on the radio, talk about a new song coming out by your favorite group, something cute your pet did, tell a funny joke. It really doesn't matter, what matters is being close, feeling their warmth, their touch and trying to feel their energy.
I took a morning after pill nearly a month ago, i waited 3 weeks to get a pregnancy test and it came out negative.. yet i have no signs of my period , maybe because i've been feeling stressed recently? Im not sure if i should take another pregnancy test or not..
Is it normal for my period to be taking so long to come when taking the emergency pill? this is the first time I've ever taking it..
im 19 by the way so i'm not sure.. please help thank you
Yes, stress will certainly cause a period to be really off schedule. The stress of alway wondering if you might be pregnant the next time around, is not a good thing to go through every time you have sex so it is a good idea to get some reliable birth control that you don't have to worry so much about. Try planned parenthood for the pill, shot, patch or IUD.
i am a writer......... i write fictions mostly... i want my books to be published....... is there a way i could do it free?i want the name of any free of cost and reliable publisher. (organisation or indivisual).... advice is badly needed
If you do find one, let me know, cus I am writing a book I want to publish too.
Good luck.
i started a new job, and there is a boy that works there who i have thought was so cute since before i started. well today was the first time we ever talked he had to train me on the register. well a few hours after we finished i was working in apparel and he came up to me and said where have you been? hiding from me? and i said where you looking for me? and he stayed kinda quite and smiled and i said if you werent looking for me then why would i be hiding from you? and he said cause i havent seen you around and i said you just saw me at register, and he said that was like 6 hours ago, so i said aww you miss me already? and he smiled and started walking away and then turned and smiled and said dont flatter yourself. then i was getting off my break a while later and he was standing by the store entrance talking to another worker and when i got closer about to go in the other guy was looking at me and they got quite, then after he got off two other workers would smile at me everytime i walked past them. im usually really oblivious to flirting or people being interested in me. what does this sound like? thankyou in advance. xx
He's doing some verbal flirting, seeking you out but its just the one day. Wait and see if a pattern develops. Others being quiet and not talking when you come by and staring at you, hmmm...who knows what it could mean. If any of them have been talking to him, then he's the common denominator and possibly it could be something he said about you, or more likely about thinking you are interesting, cute, whatever...something that might make others smile as they enjoy watching to see what happens next.
What you can watch for is body language signs from him. Flirting is a decision made by our conscious mind to do. Body language is done by the subconscious mind. He will not be aware that he is doing it. I remember reading about it, then was on a date and was startled to recognize myself doing all the body language signs of being interested in the guy. So here is a link that explains what that is:
http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/relationship-advice/read_romantic_body_language.shtml
So i am dropping out of college next year, and i will be attending beauty school in the fall. the closest beauty school to me is a 30 minute- 45 minute commute on an extremely dangerous highway. the commute is what held me back from going in the first place.. i wanna be able to get to and from my home and school SAFELY.. but i am a HORRIBLE driver. what could i do? the school doesn't do anything transportation-wise. no buses or taxis specifically for the school. i have no relatives who could drive me.. does anyone have any ideas as to how i can get to and from my school? i'm sorry if this is a dumb question i feel pretty lame writing it. most of you will probably say "COME ON, LEARN HOW TO DRIVE," but some people are just not meant to be good. especially on a highway as dangerous as this one. i think i'm 85% more at risk than others because i am a terrible driver with already a history of fenders/ accidents at such a young age. please help me with some good advice
thanks guys
-Gabi
Find out who else is going to the college who lives in your area and is willing to give you rides and then you help pay for gas...its like the ride share programs set up at places I worked where I paid money and got rides from others to work.
Ask at the college how you might get connected with others taking the same classes, same hours. If theres no one there to give a ride, or willing to, start looking at businesses in the same block as the school or at least very close. Go into those businesses if they are big office buildings and ask if they have an organized ride share program and if they do, ask if you can put yourself on the list as needing to find someone you can pay for rides, of course they have to work close to the same hours you require. It's all I can think of. But you'd have to get your name and contact on these lists asap. Otherwise, you'll need to rely on public transportation...buses to get you there which you may need to use at times as back up when your ride is sick and not going in to work.
Last night my husband and I were both shocked when he continued to have orgasms after he had ejaculated. I was giving him head and after he came I just lightly licked on the tip for awhile because I know the tip is extra sensitive afterwards. He described it as him getting past the "pain" from how sensitive it was and into something he'd never experienced before. I haven't either. He got really into it so I kept going and he was writhing all over the place, barely being able to breathe sometimes, and his whole body would spasm over and over again during this experience. He started counting out loud when he would have an orgasm because we were both so shocked this was happening. We both thought men just ejaculated and then that was it. He had an orgasm almost every second or up to five seconds. He lost count over 200. He said afterwards they just kept stacking on top of one another and it was the best feeling he's ever had in his entire life. Does this usually happen to men? Or is it rare?
Honey, this can happen to both men and women. It's rare. But as you said. there is a sense of pain because of over sensitiveness that prevents many from ever going there. those who have multiple orgasms may have them in varying degrees of strength. I can't say that all men will experience this, but they are limited to one ejaculation with an orgasm and their bodies need time to be able to ejaculate again, however that doesn't mean they can't have multiple orgasms without ejaculation. Every body is different, so while your husband had them every 5 seconds, many will find that they have a greater break between orgasms. My husband can have multiple orgasms but not by the same method as your husband, he can have many orgasms without allowing himself to ejaculate, so he can get his while inside me. I help it along with squeezes from pc muscles.
It might be that people with a higher pain tolerance also find it easier to do so. I have a high pain tolerance, so whether using a vibrators or his fingers on clit or g spot, once I have had the first orgasm, and go beyond the pain and intensity to beyond that, we rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the peak of another orgasm, then after the first orgasm, I am bouncing between 8 to 10 and never anything lower until I beg him to stop and I will have the same body reaction, the writhing, my face and chest will flush beet red, very hot and sweaty, barely able to breathe, I lose ability to move any limbs afterwards, as if all bones disappeared, lol.
You can practice this yourself and try to do a little more each time. It really is a wonderful experience and theres nothing else quite like it. Although, when in this state of writhing and barely able to breathe, it is unlikely that I would ever be able to count past the 3rd one because it often takes your mind to another place too, you can't even think straight at this time if you wanted to.