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Third wheel
I am always the third wheel. With my two friends Mary and magan I feel like I don't belong. They are meant to b bffs though. Their name both start with m, mine starts with h, they live across the street from eachother, I'm way out of their neighborhood, and they are bornEXACTLY one month apart, I'm a month and 3 days. Mary's dad always picks Megan for the soccer team( you can only pick one person for the soccer team and your daughter. The rest is picked randomly) I think why can't I be on her team for one season and meggers for the other season? I get that Megan's mom can't always take her to practice cause if the baby but the park is a mile away!!!! They make me feel included but I just feel like we are not as close as we could be. I don't want to create drama by telling them how I feel. How would I even say it? Hey guys. You're making me feel left out and it's making me sad.can you guys include me more when inviting each other over? I know you guys hang out so often cause you're neighbors but call me anyways. I'll come.( sounds good so far but every time I practice it in my room I burst into tears) i have other friends too but again I feel like the third wheel. At least with Mary and Megan I understand them as much as they understand me.uhhh I wish life could just b the way it was in kindergarten. You wanna be friends? Sure! Lets go play with crayons.
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You wouldn't be causing drama by expressing your feelings. If you were sitting their blaming them, telling them that they are in the wrong for leaving you out, then you're causing drama. But just saying that you'd like to hang out with them more isn't drama.
If they are your true friends, you should be able to talk to them. Don't stress out.
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It does not sound as if anyone is purposely leaving you out. Sometimes people get into habits such as the choosing team members, and they keep repeating and doing the same thing cus they've always done it. No other reason. I'll tell you right now that likely the thought of choosing someone else like you has never occurred to Mary's dad. r
Some of your assumptions are just silly but I can understand...you are miserable not having one close best friend, many friends but not one that you spend the majority of time with and you both are each others first choice in companionship. It's easier to come with with reasons it might be so but that have no place in reality. The first letter of someones name or when their birthday falls has nothing to do with people meant to be best friends. If that were the case, every person in your town who is your age with a first initial H and a birthday within a month of yours might be best friends with you and that could possibly mean having dozens upon dozens of best friends.
Most of the feelings you have are due to your subconscious mind over analysing and adding more possible scenerios to the scenes that play out in your head, like watching a sad movie unfold on screen.
I like your plan of saying something, but it can't be to place blame. Your idea of " I know you guys hang out so often cause you're neighbors but call me anyways. I'll come." and add: I get kinda lonely by myself and there's no one else that lives near me that I am friends with. I don't have any real close best friend like you two have each other so would you try to remember to invite me over? If once you've told them and lets say nothing changes, they still don't invite you, then it's time to look for other friends. But i Doubt that it will be a problem. the bigger problem is your counting in your mind how often the two of them spent time versus how oftv'en they included you. As for the soccer team deal, next time you're at Marys house when her dad is there, ask him a question. the time to ask is before hand, not at the moment team members are being chosen.Tell him there have been times when you hoped he would chose you for the team but it has never happened. Ask him if there is any particular reason why he has only chosen Mary and Megan. Then he either explains why and even if you don't like the reason, accept it, or he says he's sorry he had no idea how you felt, he will make an effort to choose you next time.
Remember that it is not drama to give people information or to ask questions and gather information. Drama would be getting your emotions involved by placing blame: You make me feel... You always do that... or angry tones of voice or crying.
If you did to your horror, start crying in front of them. Tell them you are sorry, that you are just kinda emotional (blame
or the better thing to say: I'm not doing this to make you feel guilty...I just have been very lonely lately and I know it has more to do with my own negative thoughts than anything going on. So please excuse my tears. But I did want to bring up the point that where I live shouldn't make you feel I am not available to come hang out.
If as you grow up you continue to find that the special close bond doesnt form between you and other females, then perhaps the unique person you are is not meant to be a best friend to another girl but towards a guy. There are many girls who have shared that their closest and best friend is a guy. There may be something in your personality that females don't as easily respond to. Nothing weird or abnormal about it. I for example prefer males for friends over females. I have females for friends but I enjoy male friendship much more. There may be a guy wanting a best friend too, and that just might be you.
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