about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Okay, well i need help on trying to choose a honeymoon spot. my soon-to-be husband says that i have to pick because it runs in his family.
the main things im looking for are
- romance
-some places to shop
- relaxing
- have lots of time alone, but not to much,(dont wanna be stuck in a room the whole time)
- good weather, not to hot, not to cold
- somewhere in europe is preferred.
-sight seeing
please tell me some places that maybe you have went and you think its just perfect place.
thanks for reading, please help!

Cruising is always nice but be aware the walls are thin and you can be over heard.


There are two places I love to visit. My favorite is Bermuda. It is probably the one place left on earth that is easy to get to for Americans and where we are still welcomed. It is also extremely safe.


There is plenty of shopping, pink sand beaches, places to visit and the food is fabulous. The people speak English and while the have their own currency it is equal to the dollar and the dollar is acceptable wherever you shop so their is no need to exchange you money.


The next PAC is England and Scotland. If you have never been there than London is the place to go. There is so much to see and do you could spend you entire Honeymoon just in England. Depending on how much of a history buff you are then you may want to make time to travel to other parts of the country such as Stone Hedge and Stratford-upon-Avon,where Shakespeare was born. You may also want to go up to Edinboro to see the Scottish Castle and the Scottish crown Jewels. Plenty of shopping there as well.


One thing though their English and ours is slightly different. Example: Napkin. What we call a Napkin to the English is a lap cloth. To them a Napkin is a feminine hygiene product. So don't be surprised if you get a startled look if you say something. Just ask if you have shocked them and say it is unintentional and they will explain the difference in meanings.

[view]


Before I start, I am looking for any advice or any opinions from anyone, negative or positive I don't care. And as many answers as I can get also.

I am 17, Female. Senior in high school.
I am a virgin.
I've only had one serious boyfriend, Sophmore year, and it only lasted 4 months.

I don't have any sexual experience, and this bothers me. I would like to have sexual experience, as well as loose my virginity but I don't have the boyfriend experiences. I'm not very attractive I suppose that's why i'm not liked by guys ever/ or rarely.
I'm tall and skinny which i don't think there's anything wrong with, but I don't have a pretty smile, I need braces badly but can't afford it, and I think that is why people find me unattractive, which I don't blame them because I hate my smile too. I also have small boobs, that could be why? Or maybe i'm "too skinny" I don't know..
I just want a guy to like me, ask me out, and for us to do things together :P to put it bluntly.

By the way, this isn't for society, or for the pressure, or because other people are doing it, or whatever else. this is because I want to.

Anything helps, thank you

At the end I will add a link that I believe will answer your question about loosing your virginity and first time sex.


Firts though I think you are being too hard on yourself and lowering your own self esteem which has more to do with not finding a boyfriend then your physical apperance.


Physical appearance is just that, physical. It say nothing about the person. This the reason behind all the jokes about big breasted blond women. Not all blonds are air heads. Certainly not all big breasted women are loose women who sleep around a lot and have their brains in the boobs. Yet if your blond or have big boobs you definitely are going to bear the brunt of these jokes.


There are a lot of men out there that like small breasted women. Most have a saying anything over a mouthful is a waste. There are a lot more men that like small breasted women then there are men who like big breasted women. Boys, males at your age are still classified as boys, follow the stereotype when with their buddies.


You say you need braces, big deal. There are a lot of people your age who say they need braces that never get them because their parents couldn't afford them. You get them later in life when you can afford them if you then still feel the need for them.


Your low self esteem is having more of an effect on you than you may believe. You want to attract boys. Then what you need to do is take what you have and repackage and re-market yourself.

First go to a department store and have someone in the makeup department show you how to use make up to highlight your best features. With makeup less is more. You do the same with your clothing. You have small breasts so you start from the skin out with proper fitting bras and clothes that highlight your features and fit you properly. Then on to a hairdresser for a hairstyle that fits the contours of your face and complements you. This is the packaging.


Now for the marketing. Forget about the boys at school though I believe the new packaging will have them knocking at the door. You don't need them. They only want sex, you need love and affection from the man who takes your virginity.


Sit down and make a list of the things you like to do. I find making a list always to be helpful. This list should contain all of your non-academic interests whatever they may be; from bird watching to Xylophone playing. If you are religious and church going include things at church.


Many of these activities will be coed activities. Number them in order of preference, then become more active in those top five activities. It is here where you will meet someone. Why? Simple you have something in common that transcends the physical attraction. Once you get to know someone, physical attraction is no longer a requirement as you get to know the real person or as I prefer the persons inner beauty, something that relationships are built on. This is where real relationships happen. This is where love and affection come form.

Relationships built on sex and appearance alone are doomed to failure as the are built on foundations of sand. Real relationships are built on love and affection which comes from getting to know the person behind the facade of the outer makeup regardless of how the facade appears.



http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

[view]


I'm a fifteen year old female and i am currently taking celexa and seroquil for my severe depression. i was talking to someone else who also has depression and he says he doesn't take medications and only takes vitamins and exercises so that he doesn't feel that way anymore. is it possible for me to try this? i'm not fond of the idea of taking celexa and seroquil because of the side effects, such as defects in a child that i might have in the future, and i really want to have kids.

I'm sorry you don't like the answer I gave you. As far as I know ther is not any holistic or natural cures for serious depression. Please stay on your Meds. Talk with your doctor about a change of medication with less side effects.

Being over 14 you have a legal right under the HIPPA law to be consulted and listened to in regard to your medical conditions. There are exceptions most are in life threatening conditions where your parents have rights over you.

The medications will or should not be a life long thing. Take them now for a better life tomorrow. I have been where you are today. I know what I am telling you.

I'll add my advice to not stopping your medication to the list of others who advise against doing so. As I tell others on this sight; just because you and I may have the same type of illness what works for me may not work for you.


I have suffered from depression for many years and take Cymbalta daily. My psychiatrist tells me my depression is cured though I continue to take a lower dose of the medication for it has another benefit as a pain reliever at this lower dosage. Which was the underlying cause of my depression. So you see we have the same illness. Mine is or was caused by an auto accident and the resulting pain and disability caused by the accident.


Let me ask you this; are you seeing a psychiatrist for medication or is your family doctor prescribing? Depression is better prescribed for by a psychiatrist. If you are suffering from hormonal depression, that being the lack of one or more hormones that control depression. It is a medical condition that a psychiatrist is better qualified to prescribe for.


You have valid concerns for the medication you are taking. If your condition is shall we say stabilized for the lack of a better term. Then I would suggest you speak with your doctor if you are seeing a psychiatrist and see if the doctor will change your medication. If your not seeing a psychiatrist I would suggest you do so as I said they are the best to prescribe for this type of depression.


Stay compliant with your medications. Talk with your doctor about different medications you can take and why you want to change you medications. Be open when talking to your doctor and therapist. Remember everything you say to them is confidential. They cannot tell anyone what is discussed in therapy with them. This is the law and you are covered by that law. They can give advice to your parents but not anything substantive about what you have told them in treatment.

[view]


17/f. I need to get rid of thc in my urine by february 13. Please, i dont need negative criticism. I know its bad. Please helpp!! I weigh 136 & am 5'4 if that helps!

I found a number of Detox kits on the web. How good if any good they are is questionable. Type THC Detox into a search engine and look at what is available.


One other thing. thc will stay in your hair much longer than it will stay in your urine. If someone really wants to see if you are smoking wee a 1cm clipping will give them all they need to know if you have smoked in the past 30 days.

[view]


i dont wont sex am 32 years old women with 2 kids is the normal

This is a yes and no answer. For your husband this is a no as he is at a point in his life where he is wanting more sex. For you with everything you have to do, especially if you work outside the home, sex is not a priority for you. You were in your sexual prime about a decade ago. This is kind of a natures trick.


You should have some sexual desire but just may be to tired to answer the desire. Preferring rather to cuddle up with a good book or even to just cuddle on the couch with you husband.


I do suggest that you see your GYN and discuss this as it is also a sign of early menopause, something that at your age could be the problem but is extremely rare. What you may need is some hormone adjustments. A simple blood test will tell the doctor if this is the problem.


My feeling is that if you work outside the home, have children and all the soccer mom stuff that goes with having active children. Then the problem is most likely your just to tired and she is not a priority. Still see a doctor just to make sure.

[view]


On December 30th 2011, someone from a dating site that I am on asked me out. We went to dinner, and hung out and we immediately hit it off very well. We’ll call him Connor. Connor seemed like a great guy. So that night, against everything that I believed in, I asked him to my family New Year’s Eve party at my house for the following night. He said yes, and the next night he came. Connor did not consume a drop of alcohol the entire night. My family loved him and so did all of our friends. That night, as he got into his car to drive home, I told him to call me when he got home (which was an hour drive) so that I know he made it there ohkay. I tried calling him, and did not hear from him until 4pm the following day. He told me that he had gotten cut off by a drunk driver, drove his car up a median, and had to wait for AAA to tow his car to his parents’ house. His parents were out of town for the weekend. He called me frantic, and said he didn’t know how he’s get to work in the morning without a car, and that his parents were going to have to cut their vacation short to come and bring him money. I asked him how much he needed, he said $180, so I gave it to him, and we both agreed that he would pay me back the next day when his direct deposit hit his account. That was Sunday. I did not hear from him again until I believe Thursday. He called me saying that he had been in and out of the hospital, getting surgery for pinched nerves in his shoulder and he asked if I could come pick him up. He told me that he had the money he owed me. So I drove up there, picked him up, and he handed me a check for $410.98, written to me from his aunt. He asked me to deposit it into my account, and give him the remainder. This request struck me as odd, but I did it. I expressed to him, at this time, that I was upset that he hadn’t gotten in touch with me earlier. On January 10th, he called me at 2pm and said he has a surprise for me: he was going to take me to the Jets/Bruins game in Boston. He knows I’m a huge fan so I immediately said yes. He asked me to bring $280 in cash, so that we could pick up the tickets from someone from ACE tickets that he was meeting, and that we would then have dinner with his family at a restaurant and his father would reimburse me then. So, I drove an hour+ to Boston, picked him up, and drove him to the supposed location of these tickets. I handed him the $280, and he said he’s be right back in 5 min. I waited two hours, he never came back. I’m not familiar with the Boston area, so I panicked and called him quite a few times. He answered for the first hour, and kept saying that he’s 5 min away .. but he never came back. For the last hour, he stopped answering his phone, so I just went home; out of the cash, and out of the tickets. I have not heard from this guy since. I have tried texting and calling him. I don’t have an address for him. All I have is the address for his aunt that was written on the check. My friend’s uncle in a police officer and said that there is absolutely nothing that we can do because its “his word against mine.” But I was hoping if any of you could find something in this story to help bring this jerk to justice, I would really appreciate it! Thank you for reading, I know this was lengthy!

You are the victim of a con artist. As far as seeing your money again that will never happen. What you can do is help bring him to justice by filing a police report. He coned you and I'm sure he has coned and will con others. By filing a police report you will help the police build a case against for when they do catch him.


Prisons are filled with guys like him who think they are smarter than everyone including the police. Eventually they make a mistake. When they do police reports like the one you should file give evidence to his criminal activities.


Call your local police department and ask to speak to a detective in the crimes against persons squad or robbery division. Beat cops don't get involved in this type of crime. They take reports and forward them to the detectives so as far as they are concerned nothing happens with them. But things do happen; cases are built and when they have enough to charge someone with they do. So file the report.


There is a slim chance that Conor may never get caught or he will get caught in another part of the country and you may never know. Still it is important to file the police report.

[view]


I was wondering if anything happens to the woman's body if she does not masterbate. I know that that men can get blue balls if they do not do so and it can cause severe pain but is there anything like that for women?

The following is from Wikipedia, and should answer your question on "blue balls" and masturbation. Male "blue balls is a real condition as you will see. Masturbation is a last choice option to clear the condition according to the Wikipedia article below but it is an effective choice.



What Causes Blue Balls?

What Causes Blue Balls?


Blue balls! Have you heard about it or even experienced it? Well, not a single guy will like to have it. Yes, it can be very terrible and painful! Blue balls is the casual term used for epididymitis. It is not something to ignore or joke about. Like other male disorders including erectile dysfunction or enlargement issues, if one do not identify and get the right treatment, the guy may end up sterile. Further, it could be a red flag indicating a sexually transmitted disease which needs treatment.



Therefore, it is essential to understand the causes and warning signs. This will help make sure to get preventive measures and male enhancement treatment at the right time for men’s only disorder.



Blue balls is the popular term for vasocongestion in the male genital area. It is the condition that restricts blood flow to testicles. The testicles do not actually turn blue. Instead, a bluish tinge appears on the skin of the scrotum. That’s why the disease has the name Blue balls. It is characterized by a dull pain in the lower body.



Like erectile dysfunction and other male disorders, it is essential to understand what are the causes and why one should care?



First it is essential to understand what happens when a sexually-matured male is aroused.



-There is increase in the output of the parasympathetic nervous system of a sexually-matured and aroused male. It results into penis enlargement and an increased blood flow as well as lymphatic fluids in the genital region.



-At the same time, muscles which regulate fluid outflow contract. This increases fluid concentration.



-Both above stated actions unite to guarantee high enough regional blood pressure for maintaining penis enlargement for penetration in the sexual interaction.



-The testicles enlarge in size by about 25 to 50%.



When the guy attains orgasm and ejaculates, the contracted muscles relax. Further, the extra fluids flow out from the genital region. After this, the testicles and penis return to their regular size.



When more lymph and blood flows into the genitals during sexual arousal and penis enlargement than out, particularly when it resides in the genital area for a longer duration, the testicles can increase around 25 to 50 percent in size. The genitals are enlarged if there is no release by means of ejaculation or orgasm.



Devoid of any outflow, guys experience ache. Numerous male enhancement treatments are out in the market.



The given name blue balls is due to





-The tinge from blood vessels appears when the testes are enlarged.





-The blood loses oxygen and turns blue



-Or the unbelievable gloom a man experiences at an unfinished night, spoken through his balls.



The enhancement products can be the right solution to deal with enlargement and erectile dysfunction problems. However, ejaculation is the right key to deal with blue balls. However, it is essential to be identified and treated early because jerking off is in fact the last option you want to do after the onset of ache. The other suggested solution is to lift a heavy object. Theoretically this would get more blood circulating.



Do not hesitate and consult your doctor for issues and get right male enhancement treatment as soon as possible.

[view]


Is anal sex safe

That depends on the meaning of the word safe. From the standpoint of the meaning of can a girl get pregnant from anal sex; then yes it is safe as no a girl cannot get pregnant from anal sex.


For the male anal sex can be very enjoyable as the anus is extremely tight. For the female it can be very painful. As for safety anal sex has many dangers. For one there are many bacteria that live in the bowel so the first thing is the male should always use a condom. Second you should never go from the anus to the vagina without first thoroughly cleaning the both the male and female groin area with soap and hot water to kill any bacteria that may have gotten out. Even when condoms are used.


For the female the dangers are stretching of the rectum muscle, tearing of the rectum and of course the introduction of an STD or other infections. Of course those were the downsides of anal sex. If it is not an every time practice, if it is done with patients and care and both partners are healthy; it can be done safely.


The key here is for the female or person being penetrated, being comfortable and willing. If that person is not willing or if they find the act uncomfortable or painful then you either don't have anal sex or you stop immediately. To force a person to have anal sex can and will cause harm.

[view]


19/F
Yeah, it sounds like the plot to a bad sitcom, right? No, it's my reality.
So, I met this guy through a mutual friend and we really hit it off. I mean, I REALLY like him. We get along wonderfully and he's probably the sweetest and most thoughtful guy I've ever met.
Well, last night we were texting and sort of really opening up to each other. And then he tells me he has a secret. He has no toes. I thought he was joking (he jokes quite often, one of the things I love about him), so I laughed it off. But he was serious. He even sent me a picture. I texted our mutual friend about this and she said she had no idea. I texted him back and just pretended like everything's fine.
Now, I still really REALLY like this guy. But the no toes deal freaks me out. I'm not one to judge on appearances and it doesn't really change anything about him... But I'm also an extremely squeamish person and the thought of his feet make me uncomfortable.
I really like him and I feel like I terrible person for being disgusted by his feet. I feel so guilty. How can I get over this?

The fact that he may not have any toes should not freak you out. It is possible that he lost his toes because he was in an accident and he has a prosthetic device in his shoes that allow him to walk.


He is the same person he was a second before he told you he had no toes. Would it freak you out to find out he had only one Kidney or one lung. His toes do not make him what he is. He is still be "the sweetest and most thoughtful guy I've ever met."

I knew a guy who was a volunteer EMT at the fire station I was assigned to. Once you got to know him he was one of the nicest people you would ever want to know. Because of a birth defect he had one arm and hand that was much shorter that the other. It never slowed him down and while it made you stop and look and think how could this guy be an EMT with just on functioning arm? He was and he did and he was a darn good one.


His favorite joke was to come up to any of us while we were doing something, none call related and say. I'd give you a hand but I'm a little short handed myself right now. We all would feed that line right back to him whenever we had the chance. He loved it and so did we. He died a few months ago and his is missed.


So what if your friend has no toes. BFD, he is still a great guy to be with and his deformity is hidden from view as he needs shoes to walk. So what's the big deal.

[view]


OK I'm a 15 year old female and my bf won't stop beating I broke up with him and its getting a lot worse I have to call the polese to get him to stop pleas help me I'll take any advice.

First: No one has the right to touch, or hit anyone else. You did the right thing in leaving your boyfriend.


Now the fact that he is still finding you and hitting you. If this is happening in school you tell a teacher or the school principal and they will handle it from the stand point that they can from school discipline. You also tell your parents what is happening so they can take the appropriate action.


If he is chasing after you both in and out of school or just in school, yes you can call the police yourself for help. The police are always there to help you. You do not need your parents to call them. You call 911 and tell them you need help and why.


If it is happening just in school it and you can get home safely, then it is even better to wait until mom and dad can be there with you when the police come to take the report.


Under the law what is happening may very well fall under the domestic battery statues. At the very least his hitting you and stalking you, the fact that he finds you to harm you is stalking, are real legal charges for which he can be arrested for. He should be arrested for this, if not he will think he is invincible and get away with things like the. Who knows what he will do next. By calling the police and bringing charges you may be saving some girls life later in his life.


So that is what you do. You tell a teacher and or the school principal. You call the police yourself unless you can get home safely and wait for your parents to be with you and then call the police. You and your parents should file charges against this boy for stalking and assault. This is the only way you can get him the help he needs to learn his actions are unacceptable.

[view]


Is it possible that yu can get HIV by having sex with a gay guy trow the ass

Yes you can. Anytime you have sex with a carrier of an STD or Aids their is a chance of being infected with the STD or AIDS virus they are carrying.


[view]


im 14/f and last year or probably before that becasue i just turned 14, i waxed my chest becasue i thought i had hair. (it was like blonde, but i guess i was freaking out over it) so then a couple monthes later i found like bumps on my chest. tiny bumps. i popped some, and that helped a little. but there was no puss or anything, just a little blodd and i sanitized it. but then it like starting spreading on my boobs. and so then i went to the doc like a year ago. he gave me like prescription pimple cream. it helped but then they came back a couple monthes later. so then i started using exfoliater, that helped but eventually came back..again! and im using exfoliater again but im almost out...and im probablly going to go back to the doc. again. i dont know whats wrong! if u felt my chest it would be like tiny bumps. so i was thinking after i waxed it might have got infected or something..but i honestly have no idea! but this hapened year ago, why are they coming back?!!!and sometimes i cant wear low cut shirts like v necks..wtf?! i just want them to go away and stop using creams and shit on my chest all together! helpppppp thnxxx

Hi: None of us are doctors. Even if we were we could not say what you have without seeing the bumps or pimples or whatever they are.


What I am sure of is if you saw your family doctor over this that the doctor prescribed based on what he or she thought the most likely culprit was. Since you described it as pimple cream that it was most likely the doctor thought the problem was early acne.


It was a good diagnoses and the proper one to make at the time. Since there are several different variants of acne it may still be acne or it could be something else. Time to call in the heavy artillery.


By this I mean it is time to see a specialist. You have tried the over the counter things, which almost never work. You tried your family doctor, which didn't work. Now it is time to see a dermatologist.


The dermatologist has a number of different test that your family doctor doest have. These test will determine if these things are acne and which type or cause it could be or something else. Then the doctor can try different treatments until the proper treatment is found.


Sometimes the first treatment, which is generally the most successful one, doe snot work because of certain factors within you and the problem. So don't get frustrated. Just let the dermatologist do their thing and go through the different treatment until they find the one that is right for you and the problem you have.

[view]


I am sixteen but my mom says I'm too young for a vibrator. How can I prove to I'm not to young

This is one of those questions that I do not think there is a correct answer for, although I believe Matts answer is definitely wrong.


The problem is that each of us as parents have different views of things. Myself I'm quite liberal in my views. If you were my daughter I think I would prefer you using a vibrator in the safety and comfort of your bedroom. Then working off the sexual frustrations of puberty who knows where with some teenage boy who could get you pregnant or infect you with an STD.


Maybe that's the answer. If you can have an open an honest talk about these things with your mother. Which if your asking for a vibrator, made you can. Then talk to her along those lines. Tell her that all teenagers have sexual frustrations. She may have forgotten what it was like, to be sexually frustrated by the new hormones racing around in your body as a teenager.


Ask her; is it not better that you be in the privacy of your room taking care of your sexual frustrations safely? Rather than succumbing to the advances of some horny teenage boy? You know it is wrong to have sex at your age but your only human and if you don't do something to relieve the sexual tension you have your going to explode. A little melodramatic but you get my thoughts.


Avoid using words like masturbate, fingering, masturbation. Don't volunteer unless you are a virgin what your virginity status is. If you are no longer a virgin be honest and tell her if she asks. Tell her something to the effect that yes you've had sex, it was wrong and you want a vibrator to avoid having sex in the future. This would certainly cause me to change my mind if I thought giving you a vibrator was the prelude to the real thing. Which is what I'm thinking your mom might be thinking.


I have to say again in my house we were a lot more liberal about these things, something my wife and I discussed before we ever had children. The facts of life are just that, the facts of life. As parent we felt we had to be ready to deal with them in a real world manner. We wanted to keep our children safe from unwed pregnancy and STDs and we did.


As I said above each parent is different and my wife and I were no exception. Your question has not real answer other than be honest with mom as to why you want one. Make a good case for wanting one as in the example I gave you. Then maybe mom will change her mind.

[view]


Well, Im 13. Ever since the summer of going into 6th grade. I've been fingering myself. I need to know if there is anything that can happen to me if I dont stop. Anything?

As long as your fingering, masturbating, is not at the exclusion of everything else there is nothing wrong with it. According to a survey I read almost 90% of all people masturbate. Mutual masturbation is part of sexual foreplay.


There are a lot of old wives tales as they are called, that parents use to get their children to stop but they are not true. You will not go blind. You will not grow hair in the palm of your hand or anything else. Masturbation comes about do to the hormones now floating through your body because of puberty. It is a good safe way to release the sexual tension brought on by these hormones as well as getting to know your sexual self.


As long as you masturbate in moderation; there is nothing wrong with it. Just make sure to close and lock your bedroom door when doing so, so as not to be disturbed.

[view]


In Australian Immigration they say the cheapest lawyers often prove to be the the most expensive, why is that?

Ever here the expression you get what you pay for. It means if you want Champagne you won't get it by buying Ginger Ale.


The same is true with just about everything we purchase. Now there are some cases were cheaper can be better though that is the exception rather than the rule. Sometimes when you go for the most inexpensive you end up paying more as you need to spend more to fix or add to what is left out by the cheaper purchase.


That is what I believe is being said here.

[view]


I'm 13 years old. My parents had been fighting for a long time ever since the beginning of 6th grade. Now I'm in the middle of 7th and they are almost through divorce my parents dot even live together anymore. I an always in bad moods. I am suicidal. And I just want somebody to tell me everything will be okay. So my question is, what can I do to stop being depressed over the divorce?

The hurt you are feeling about your parents divorce is normal to a point. Just remember one thing; you are in no way responsible for their divorce. Both mom and dad still love you and always will.


Being suicidal over their divorce is not good. Suicide will not resolve things and if anything will only drive a wedge further between them as they will blame each other for your attempt. You are depressed over their divorce and your suicidal thoughts are a result of your depression.


If you are actively having suicidal thoughts pick up the phone and dial 911. I am old enough to be your grandfather and I am asking you to do this as it is the right thing to do to help yourself and your parents.


If you have not been able to tell your parents how depressed you are; by dialing 911 help will be sent to you. Their is nothing to be scared of and no one will be in trouble for you reaching out for help. What will happen is you will get the help you need and let mom and dad know how their fighting is hurting you.


There is also a phone number you can call 1-800-273-TALK. This is the National Suicide Hotline. It is available 24/7 365 days a year. The call takers are available to talk with you and to help you find help in your home town.


My advice though is if you are feeling suicidal is to call 911 as it is the fastest way to get help.

[view]


When just about everything and anything has gone wrong in life. What is the point in going on. When all you find is saddness and despair all the time

It would really help to know your age and what specifically is bothering you or has gone wrong in your life.


Someone once said life is like a bowl of Jello. It wiggles it shakes it never stands still. You have to read into what he is meaning by that statement to understand it.


Life is like a bowl of jello for it is forever changing. Yes there is sadness; there is also laughter and brightness. There are hard times as well as good times. The world as we know it today is full of sadness and despair. Should we just give up on life because of this? NO, we each have within us the ability to overcome the hard time we face. Yes we despair during these times but we have the ability to change our portion of the world to make it a better place for us.


This is what life is all about; adapting and changing as the world around us changes. To do this we first have to accept change as a good thing. In most cases change is a good thing as it brings on new ideas and concepts. Then it is up to us to adapt these ideas and concepts in a manner that brings them to reality.


You haven't said what is specifically wrong or has gone wrong in your life. Whatever it is it is a change in your life. Whatever that change is there is away to make it for the better or change it to the better. All you have to do is embrace the change and adapt to it so you can change it for the better or by adapting make it better for you.


If I new the problem I might be able to give you an example. I don't, though I can assure you that what ever is concerning you is changeable to the point that makes it livable as well as giving you something positive.

[view]


i really likes this guy, we was tlking on facebook and he said that he wants us to intimate what does he really mean by that.

Not knowing your ages and not knowing the full context of your conversations. I'm going to say that he is most likely talking about you and he having sex.

[view]


Okay I'll try to make this short.

My friend and I have been friends for about 2 years now. In late September of 2011 her husband, her and I engaged in a threesome, then another one a week later. I visit their house about 2-3 times a week. Ever since the threesome her husband has been really flirty with me (but never in front of her.)

He makes out with me in their house when my friend is in the other room, when she goes to the bathroom he takes his penis out and puts my hand on it. I've given him oral sex about 7 times since September, but never anything more.

Another thing he does is we chat on facebook and have pretty inappropriate conversations about sex and 'things we would like to do to each other.'

I want this to stop, after all, he is my Best Friends husband. I get that this isn't his fault, I am also involved. I'm just nervous to tell him that I want to stop, and I don't know how, so I guess that's what I'm looking for advice on. Also, I don't know whether or not I should tell her.

Has anybody ever been in a similar situation where they engaged in sexual activity with their friends partner? I get that what I have done is a VERY bad thing, now I'm just looking for advice on how to rectify the situation.

So... Do I tell her? and How do I tell him that I want to stop without messing up the friendship that he and I have?

Thank you.

Having the threesome was not what you did that was wrong as that was consensual by all concerned. What is wrong here is the actions by her husband and receptiveness by you outside of the threesome.


I can think of three things you need to do here:


First: You have to tell friends husband that this relationship outside of your friendship with his wife ends now. It is just that simple. You tell him that the threesome was great and that the threesome was just that, a threesome. You are not and will not endanger your relationship with his wife by having any type of an affair with him.


Second: Facebook; these conversation also have to stop as they just fuel whatever desire or cause he has in pursuing you. You make this part of you discussion when talking to him about item first.


Three: No more threesomes, at least with this couple.


As for telling your friend about what is happening between you and her husband. She may already be aware of this and the reason behind her request for you to join them in their sexual relations. Then again she may not and the threesome nothing more than away to live out a fantasy. Not knowing why you where invited into their bedroom makes it hard to decide if you should tell her or not that his desire for you has extended beyond their mutual consent.


You certainly can tell him that if he doesn't stop you will tell her. That is definitely a threat he may want to take heed of. Telling her though could do irreparable harm to not only your relationship with her but to their marriage as well. This is why a threesomes outside of an organized swingers group can get complicated for all.


The question you are asking and the question I have been asked more than several times about should I or we try a threesome are the hardest questions to answer. They have no right answer. You have to decide what you feel is right based on circumstances at the time.


Talk with the husband. If he continues to try and engage you in sex talk and sex play then you have to make the decision as to whether you need to talk to your friend.

[view]


my ipod is stuck on ok to disconnect

If KlutzKims advice does not work hold the on/off button down until you see the POWER OFF SLIDE COME ON. slide the switch to off. This will turn the IPOD totally off. Then wait a minute and push the on/off button and hold it down for a moment. The Ipod will power back up after it has reset itself.

IF it does not come right back on hold the on.off button down longer until it comes on.

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker