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I don't have any sexual experience, and this bothers me. I would like to have sexual experience, as well as loose my virginity
Before I start, I am looking for any advice or any opinions from anyone, negative or positive I don't care. And as many answers as I can get also.
I am 17, Female. Senior in high school.
I am a virgin.
I've only had one serious boyfriend, Sophmore year, and it only lasted 4 months.
I don't have any sexual experience, and this bothers me. I would like to have sexual experience, as well as loose my virginity but I don't have the boyfriend experiences. I'm not very attractive I suppose that's why i'm not liked by guys ever/ or rarely.
I'm tall and skinny which i don't think there's anything wrong with, but I don't have a pretty smile, I need braces badly but can't afford it, and I think that is why people find me unattractive, which I don't blame them because I hate my smile too. I also have small boobs, that could be why? Or maybe i'm "too skinny" I don't know..
I just want a guy to like me, ask me out, and for us to do things together :P to put it bluntly.
By the way, this isn't for society, or for the pressure, or because other people are doing it, or whatever else. this is because I want to.
Anything helps, thank you <3
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
At the end I will add a link that I believe will answer your question about loosing your virginity and first time sex.
Firts though I think you are being too hard on yourself and lowering your own self esteem which has more to do with not finding a boyfriend then your physical apperance.
Physical appearance is just that, physical. It say nothing about the person. This the reason behind all the jokes about big breasted blond women. Not all blonds are air heads. Certainly not all big breasted women are loose women who sleep around a lot and have their brains in the boobs. Yet if your blond or have big boobs you definitely are going to bear the brunt of these jokes.
There are a lot of men out there that like small breasted women. Most have a saying anything over a mouthful is a waste. There are a lot more men that like small breasted women then there are men who like big breasted women. Boys, males at your age are still classified as boys, follow the stereotype when with their buddies.
You say you need braces, big deal. There are a lot of people your age who say they need braces that never get them because their parents couldn't afford them. You get them later in life when you can afford them if you then still feel the need for them.
Your low self esteem is having more of an effect on you than you may believe. You want to attract boys. Then what you need to do is take what you have and repackage and re-market yourself.
First go to a department store and have someone in the makeup department show you how to use make up to highlight your best features. With makeup less is more. You do the same with your clothing. You have small breasts so you start from the skin out with proper fitting bras and clothes that highlight your features and fit you properly. Then on to a hairdresser for a hairstyle that fits the contours of your face and complements you. This is the packaging.
Now for the marketing. Forget about the boys at school though I believe the new packaging will have them knocking at the door. You don't need them. They only want sex, you need love and affection from the man who takes your virginity.
Sit down and make a list of the things you like to do. I find making a list always to be helpful. This list should contain all of your non-academic interests whatever they may be; from bird watching to Xylophone playing. If you are religious and church going include things at church.
Many of these activities will be coed activities. Number them in order of preference, then become more active in those top five activities. It is here where you will meet someone. Why? Simple you have something in common that transcends the physical attraction. Once you get to know someone, physical attraction is no longer a requirement as you get to know the real person or as I prefer the persons inner beauty, something that relationships are built on. This is where real relationships happen. This is where love and affection come form.
Relationships built on sex and appearance alone are doomed to failure as the are built on foundations of sand. Real relationships are built on love and affection which comes from getting to know the person behind the facade of the outer makeup regardless of how the facade appears.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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I think you are way too hard on yourself!
How do you expect to get a guy to like you if you don't even like yourself? Confidence is key! Guys find confidence to be a very sexy thing in girls. Work with what you got, I'm sure every girl in the world has omething they don't like about themselves you know? I personally don't like my hair because it's thin. You know what? I work with it. I love me and I love who I am. And if someone doesn't its their loss in the end. You have to be confident with you and who you are.
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It's not a competition. I think in your eyes that you see this as something you must rack up by X,Y,Z age or you aren't normal. That's crap for lack of a better term that you need to chuck.
Actually, you're well off. You may have only had one boyfriend who was serious at 17 but the relationship likely had more depth than those of your friends.
If some of your peers hooked up and got physical early or to experience something sexual with someone they didn't totally care for than they likely they're regretting it. Also, peers lie and may not have done much or had disaster experiences.
You haven't missed much. Most people's first sexual experiences are not at all what they hoped for and don't go smoothly for them. The best thing you can do is WAIT for the right person who treats you well and genuinely cares and loves you and then research about sex and explore the idea further.
To just do it randomly or hookup is detrimental to you long term. It may seem like everyone's doing it but trust me they aren't. Your problem is how you carry yourself.
Guys may not know why you lack confidence but they can read your facial expressions and body language enough to know that there's something the matter with this girl and back off completely.
There's ZERO amiss with you or the situation except for how you value yourself. They'll only see the image of you that you project to everyone.
Work on that smile and show those pearly whites once in a while gap in teeth or braces don't matter. Most people your age don't have good teeth and it's the last damned thing a guy will give a shit about trust me :)
Start showing them what they're missing and be who you are or you won't get very far. The right guy will seek you out. Also talk to guys, go on group outings etc. and chat them up. You may find this difficult at first but it gets easier.
There's nothing wrong with your stature or bust size either. The right guy knows this and won't care as it's you, the total package they want.
I would work with a teacher, parent or trusted people on your social skills, eye contact and ability to start conversations and steer them in the right direction. That will help you communicate to guys.
Finally, there's nothing wrong with being curious about sex or thinking of doing it but there is in it being rushed, unplanned and with the wrong person just to do it. It may be fun at the time but don't regret the who and the circumstances.
In the meantime, get researching and understanding more about sexuality so that when the time comes you are prepared and ready for a partner. If the person is experienced be honest that you aren't. I'm sure they will slow down and make you comfortable. A good partner would.
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Its because your not confident in yourself is why they dont like you, and some guys like small boobs, more than a mouthful is a waste. And don't have sex with just anyone, it could ruin your life. And you have to go places, (maybe once your in college), to find a guy, there might not be the right guys at your school, but i assure you there will be in college.
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