about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

i have a problem thats been getting to me for the past couple months. i cant be alone. like if im home by myself and not talking to any1, i have problems like i get worked up and upset and im not exactly sure what to do about it. i have asthma and do get panic attacks so thats basically why its a problem. my bf has been trying to help me, and when he talks to me i feel 1000x better, but he cant talk to me all the time and i totally understand that. any advice id greatly appreciate and i'll definately rate you.

thanks

When you feel yourself starting to get upset and can't talk to your boyfriend, grab a piece of paper and write down what you're feeling. Most of the time simply getting the feelings out in the open, either by talking or writing them, will help. You can also try deep breathing exercises or distracting yourself with something (tv, computer, exercise, etc) when you feel the anxiety coming.

If it continues and you can't seem to control it, I would talk to your parents about it. Sometimes our hormones can get a little off balance and a checkup by the doctor may be in order.

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I just had sex for first time, and both my inner labias have swelled up about 5x their normal size. Will the swelling go down, or should I be worried?

It's normal to have swollen labias after sex. What happens is when you get aroused, a lot of blood flows to the area. Once your body calms down from all the arousal, it should go back to normal. If it doesn't, I would consider seeing a doctor to make sure nothing is wrong.

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ok when i go to a search engine like ask.com or msn or google..it has everything i searched for saved in the spot where you type in what your looking for. is there any way to delete that? if my parents ever use my laptop and see the things ive searched for..that wouldnt be good

Go to the top of your screen and click tools then internet options. It will bring up your internet properties screen. Hit the delete history button. Also make sure to hit the delete cookies and delete temp files buttons. That should clear all "evidence" from your computer.

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my friends keep trying to set me up with all these different guys all the time... but hello IM TAKEN!! i tell them that everytime but they wont listen to me. They say that it doesn't count because he lives so far away and i never see him. And recently me and my bf are going thru a hard time in our relationship and according to my friends going out with other guys is supposed to make me "feel better?" um ok what's up with that? They aren't even acting like friends, they should be supporting me and telling me everything is guna be ok but instead they are already assuming that we're guna break up. And i hate it when they tell all these guys that im single... IM NOT!!! how do i get thru to them??

Just tell your friends that while you appreciate their concern for you, you do not need their help to find a guy, even if you were single. A true friend would respect your right to choose a boyfriend for youself, even if they don't agree with your choice. Just keep telling the guys that you are not single. Eventually the word will get around and they won't be able to find a guy that doesn't know you're alrady in a relationship.

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i have a hard time falling asleep is there anything i can do or buy?

Taking a Benadryl or Tylenol PM before bed will help. Over the counter sleeping pills may also help but they're generally not recommended since they can have serious side effects. You might try an herb called Valerian. It relaxes you helping you fall asleep. I take it myself for insomnia.

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alright well my hair is getting dried and my ends are splitting mostly because i straighten it like everyday. i use this gel stuff for when i get out of the shower so it can protect my hair from getting damaged but im guessing its not working... does anyone know of anything to use for my hair..?

You can try a moisturizing shampoo such as Dove. Also using a leave-in conditioner will help keep your hair healthy. Using a hot oil treatment once a week will help your hair regain it's health. Try eating a diet high in fruits and veggies as well as drinking lots of water. It will help provide the vitamins and minerals your hair needs for it's health.

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Does anyone know who sings the Veronica Mars Theme song? And what its called? I will rate 5s.

It's "We Used to Be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols

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Hey, I was wondering where I could find free keyboard/piano tabs/sheet music for Coldplay songs. Thanks in advance :)

~*~*~Lauren~*~*~

This has a couple free Coldplay songs as well as links to paysites for sheet music.
http://www.8notes.com/coldplay.asp

This site is a paysite for sheet music and seems to have a lot of Coldplay.
http://www.musicnotes.com/features/artists/coldplay/

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my hair is thick and wavy. how can i make it have volume?

You can try a volumizing shampoo or conditioner. I think nearly every shampoo brand has one volumizing formula. Another option is using a hair dryer with a volumizing attachment. Sometimes simply tilting your head forward and brushing your hair from underneath will help boost volume.

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If yur on the 1st day of yur period, but yur flow is just normal, not heave and not light, can yu go swimming w/o a tampon? Like is there anything yu can use or do to go swimming w/o a tampon. Dont talk about how easy to use and comfortable tampons r, thats not what i care about. Plees help, i rate high

You really shouldn't swim while you're bleeding without a tampon. If your flow is light, you could probably get away with it but with it being normal, I think you'll find it difficult.

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ok this is more of a question for the guys...but mabe the girls can answer it too

why do guys lie?!?!

i have a guy friend and hes awesome! but he ALWAYS tell me he loves me and i KNO hes lieing...he tells every girl he loves her...and he goes out with every girl...and cheats on every girl

i kno ALL guys dont do this...but i just wanna know why some do

Either he has issues with respecting a girl or this is simply his way of protecting himself from getting hurt.

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my boyfriend cheated on me & my best guy friend gave me a shoulder to cry on. while i was venting to him, he just kissed me. why he did this i dont know, but Im just really confused. did he do it to make me feel better or because he likes me or what? i'm really confused.

I think he probably likes you and wanted to let you know but thought the moment wasn't the best to bring it up. I would suggest taking a little time for your heart to heal. I've been there with the cheating boyfriend so I know it'll take a little while before you're ready to trust your heart to anyone else again. I would ask your friend about it and if he says he is interested, let him know that you're just not emotionally ready for another relationship right now and ask him to wait.

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okay i'm make this plain and simple: i have huge pores on my nose! i get blackheads easily, and i have tried a lot of products, but i'm not quite "consistent" w/using them every night or w/e. i might use them for 3 days in a row but then i won't for like a week or two. i can't keep up w/it every night/every monrning. is there any product that you can use every other night or less often??? thanks

To help reduce pores and blackheads, I would suggest a simple clay mask. They're fairly inexpensive and you only need to use them about once or twice a week.

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Hey. What's up?

I Have an amazing boyfriend. I love him. We have been together since Feb. 2nd, 2004 (for the people trying to figure that out, its been 1 year,6months and 9 days) I Love Him, like I said. However, sometimes I think that I may like other guys. Where I work there are 2 guys who I
"like" but I wouldn't go out with them if they asked me. I want to stay with my boyfriend. I think about these other guys sometimes tho.

Any ways or tips to stop these thoughts?

I am more then sure that I am going to stay with my boyfriend. I wouldn't ever date these other guys.

How can I deal with the thoughts?

Is this normal?

(Sophmore, Female)

-Kels-

It's normal to wonder "what if?" while in a relationship. Since right now your thoughts are only thoughts, I don't see where there is a problem. Since you've been together for over a year, I'm assuming this is probably your first really serious relationship. You're probably just wondering "what if?" because you haven't had the chance to seriously date anyone else.

Since you asked about tips for helping, I would suggest simply thinking of your boyfriend or something nice that he's done for you whenever thoughts of these other guys cross your mind. It will remind you of your love for your boyfriend and keep you from thinking of the other guys.

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Dear "James",
I am writing you this letter because I know if I try to say this out loud, it will just come out a jumbled mess. I don’t know what is going on between us right now, I am so confused and it’s not fair for either of us. You know that I love you and that I would do anything to be with you. I have been practically begging you to come back to me. I am not trying to make this into some poetic tragedy; I just want to know how you feel. Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing when you kiss me; you feel nothing when we make love? I don’t understand how you can be so casual about this whole thing. I’m not mad at you and I am not upset, I am just simply asking you to tell me how you feel. Is there a chance for us at all, because my heart is on the verge of breaking. I know you are probably going away for a while but I am willing to be there when you come home. I want to be with you James, and if you don’t feel the same, then I would expect you have the decency to tell me so; after all we have been through together I deserve at least that.

The letter is well thought out but I'm afraid it probably won't do you much good with James. I think you're right to mention the fact that you do deserve to know the truth and you bring up some good points in asking if he does feel anything when you kiss or make love. However, just because you deserve it doesn't mean he's going to give it to you. I would leave out the part about you begging him to come back to you. He already knows this fact and obviously isn't too worried about it so I don't see where repeating it would do any good. I wish I could offer you more. Good luck. I wish you the best.

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How do you figure out someone's real number when they use the *67 (the ID block)? Yesterday, my friend pranked her friend's house on private, and her friend's mother called back angry and threatening to tell her parents. I'm just wondering because I get a lot of private calls and would like to know who keeps calling and hanging up. Thanks :)

Have your parents call the phone company and have an anonymous number block on the phone. When someone calls with a blocked number, they receive a message that they have to unblock their number to get through. Some phone companies offer this service for free and some charge up to $7 a month. Another option is to notify your phone company and your local law enforcement that you're getting harassing phone calls. They can set up a trace on your phone line which will let them know exactly what number is calling.

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so there is some one im guessing from my school that made up a screen name and she goes on it and doesnt tell people who she is but she has like everyone's screen name from my grade and she just AIM's us telling us like you whore slut bitch ...blah blah blah, i dont pay attention to it cause i know its just some low life hater messing arround, but yesterday she made up a screen-name pretending to be another girl and her profile was like i like guys w/ big dicks if you wanna have sex call ..... and she aimed me and was like you slut blah blah so it got me really mad & i told the real girl about it and she got super upset.... so anyway how we can find out who this person is? thanks lotz

I would suggest simply blocking her screen name and telling everyone else to do the same. Once this girl realizes that she can't get through, she'll probably give up. You can also email abuse@aol.com to make a complaint. Try to include evidence such as your IM log to help them investigate your complaint.

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i've had boobs for five years now and vaginal discharge and hair in all those places but i still haven't gotten "it" yet and two years ago the doctor said it woul be within the month. i know i won't want it once i get it but i just want it so i know i'm normal. oh yeah (14/f)also my mom got hers when she was 15.

kate

Girls develop at different rates. Since you already have most of the other signs, I would wait until you're fifteen then go for another checkup with a different doctor to make sure everything is ok.

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My boyfriends' ex is pregnant, she isn't trying to break us up or anything. She stays out of my way and I stay out of hers. I love my boyfriend very much, do you think that the baby could break us up or make us closer. Please help. Should I talk to the ex or just leave things as are.

If the ex isn't bothering you, I see no reason why you should do anything. If your boyfriend is the father of the baby, you should be prepared to have his ex in your life though. If you don't think you can deal with him having a lifetime tie to his ex through the baby, then you should break up with him. If you think you'll be ok with it and that it won't cause problems, they stay with him and see how it goes.

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i love to sing and i have a pretty nice voice but i dont know were to start and wut kind of songs to sing i can sing high but im not that good at singing low.how do i start out


PLEASE i need your help

If you sing high, you're most likely a soprano. Try joining your school or church choir. It will give you a chance to stretch the range of your voice as well as learn more. Taking voice lessons is another option. There are also some free online voice lessons.

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