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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

do you have gay tendances if you want to try anal sex from a woman with a strap on

I would say no your not gay. There are a lot of nerve ending in your anus. Plus properly stimulated you prostrate will provide a great powerful ejaculation.

If your into anal sex with your women some will say that what is good for the Goose is good for the Gander. Meaning if you expect her to take you up the dirty highway you should be willing to allow her the same experience with you and a strap on if she wishes.

My boyfriend and I just broke up and we loved each other alot like it was different and i just heard today for like 4 people that he was flirting with his ex last night!!! I started crying and i dont want to seem like a baby but i thought what we had was special and it hurts that he can be over me so quick. He told me that if we ever broke up he would never be able to date or flirt with another girl because he would miss me so much GOD HE IS A JERK and to be honest i want him back more than anything in the world but i am not telling him or anyone cuz i dont want to seem desperate. So what should I do?

I'm not sure if this will help at all other than to give you a little insight into teenage boys. Teenage boys very often confuse or intermingle love and lust. So when a break up occurs they are not as hurt as a girl will be.

A teenage boy in most cases wants only one thing. They are hard wired from puberty to find a willing sex partner. Someone to relive the pent up sexual tension that builds in them for the hormones now building in them. Hence the word Horny.

Yes your ex boyfriend and others like him are Jerks. Once they get what they want they are generally happy. If they can't get what they want they will move on to someone else. While trying to get what they want they will tell the girl anything she wants to hear to get her to give them what they want.

If this what happened to you and your boyfriend; you have learned a very valuable lesson. Be wary of boys that are players. There are some boys out there that are just as interested in you for who you are than what you have, pardon my crudeness, between your legs. They are few and far between. They are not the popular boys. They are usually shy, maybe a little bookish. These boys will show you a good time, treat you well and will most likely not be all hands.

I was a party at my friends house and there was this guy that came up to me and he was lik hey and he asked me how old I was and I said 14 and he asked me if I wanted to have sex. I said no, but im lik really freaked out and I cant stop thinking about what happened that night.

The boy was being a jerk. I was 12 going on 13 when a girl asked the same thing of me in school, so I know how you must be feeling.

For some reason that boy thinks that line just might work and he will have sex. I do not think any girl has ever given in to that line and if she had he would probably run of scared. Don't think anything about it. Other than being female you did nothing to encourage him. He may have been showing off for his friends as well.

First off I'm in the navy and I'm 20 years old. Me and my fiance have.dated for about 8 months. At the beggining I didn't get off until she did like 2 times. Now honestly minus foreplay I don't last but about 7-8 minutes of straight going at it. Why is this?

Your normal. The average male last from 3 to 5 minutes. If you are lasting 7 to 8 minutes you are above average.

There are somethings you can research to make yourself last longer. One such thing is the use of desensitizing creams. The other alternative is to spend more time on foreplay to get your fiance more excited so she gets her two orgasms before you get off.

One other suggestion I can make is that you and your fiance talk to each other about likes and dislikes about sex. Like most males I thought my wife when we first met was like most female and vaginal in her stimulation. Turns out she is clitoral. She had to tell me this as I was, like most males, unaware. Sure I knew you had to stimulate the clit but felt the vagina was the seat of pleasure for a woman.

Once we had that discussion we spent time relearning about each others bodies. She showed me where she was most sensitive and how she liked to be touched and stimulated in those places. I in turn showed her where I was most sensitive and how I liked to be touched.

It was the best thing we have ever done for ourselves. I always include communications as part of recommendations for a good sex life.

for a couple of months I went out with this guy who was married,he wasn't satisfied with his life and his wife knew he was cheating on her.he was a nice guy.he was my teacher before.I didn't have sex with him.we were just fooling around.but now I have decided to change my life and be a good person!I don't know how to tell him that.He loves me so much!!I can see that.this is gonna hurt him.I mean I was his comfort when his wife wasn't there for him!he always talked to me when he had a problem,he never talked to his wife about anything,they were always having a fight.most of the time I could hear his wife screaming at him on the phone that you are a bad husband and you have to go to hell.and for some reason he can't get divorced!he tried couple of times,but he didn't.now I want to break up with this guy but I am afraid he is gonna think I wanted him for grades.he didn't help me that much,but he helped a little.I didn't ask him to!He did it himself.how do I break up with him??

Wow, I can't begin to tell you how wrong this situation is. A student and teacher seeing each other even in a non sexual relationship. He helped you with your grades even though you didn't ask and is not the reason you two where together. This is so wrong.

To answer your question. Anytime two people in a relationship break up someone is going to be hurt. In this relationship your teacher has a lot to lose by letting his feeling show or doing anything about your breaking it off with him regardless of your reason.

First: It is wholly unethical of him to enter into a relationship with a student. He could lose his teaching license. Second: The difference in your ages, if you are below the age of consent in your state, could put him in deep legal trouble. Even though you two may never of had sex he can be charged with statutory rape. If he ever took you across a state line a federal charge of violating the Mann act can be added.

Student teacher relations ships are among the most Taboo in our society because of the authority a teacher has over a student. A student teacher relationship is second only to that a child has with their parents giving a teacher a great amount of control of their students.

Breaking up with him is the right thing to do for whatever reason you are using. To worry you will hurt him? He has already done that to himself by entering into a relationship with you. You may not understand what I am saying though breaking up with him is the best thing you can do for the both of you. If it ever gets out, now or in the future. That he had a relationship with a student he will lose his job.

I'm very surprised that if his wife knows about your relationship with him that she has not said anything to school officials.

I am from Turkey, and i gave a blow job to my boyfriend last week. After 4-5 days, herpes grew in my mouth, and they didn't heal. Are they symptoms of STD's? Can they be deadly? And is it possible for me to find out if they are STD's or just harmless herpes, without taking a test?

You need to be tested. Sores in the mouth can be Herpes or some other type of infection. See a doctor ASAP.

If they are Herpes they can be an STD and you will need to be treated and informed as will your boyfriend.

I know they say to have one nipple a little darker than the other or vice versa one a little lighter than the other is normal during pregnancy or after puberty but im 21 years old with breats fully developed 34C. i am a little worried i dont know whether or not to check a doctor
the difference in shades isnt huge but im a virgin so absolutely im way past puberty and not pregnant either. should i worry? or is this normal
and i honestly dont know if they have always been this way or not i rarely look at the mirror at them but by coincidence last week i noticed the difference. so it may have been like that recently or all my life and thats a question i dont have the answer for..
would anyone help please

If you have had your yearly GYN check ups as you should be having. This is something the doctor would have noticed during the exam. If it was something to be concerned about the doctor would have said something.

If you have been having your annual check ups and are still concerned a phone call to your doctor should put your mind at ease. If you have not had annual check ups then you need to have one and have a PAP smear. Yes you can still have a PAP smear done even if your Hymen is intact. Your Hyman like all others is not solid there is a hole in it through which your period blood drains. Through this hole the doctor can do the PAP smear.

My recommendation. If you have been having regular check ups by a GYN and this is not a recent change you probably have nothing to worry about. If your concerned call your doctor. If you have never had a female exam it is time to get one. Call a GYN and make an appointment.

I started having sex when I was 15 with a guy I met and of corse he was my first so I bled. me and justin didnt last long so I decided im not having sex anymore till I find the right one. 5 and a half months ago I started dating andrew. He was a virgin at the time and I wasnt we started having sex 3 months into the relationship and I bled a little again I thought no biggy but now its like every time he wants to finger me it doesnt hurt while he is doing it but when he pulls his fingers out he has blood on them, and then im sore after words I feel embarrassed when it happens and makes me not want to do anything but he comforts me and makes me think its not a big deal but I dont know what it is... Is this normal?

I'm not a doctor so I cannot give you a diagnosis as to why you are bleeding. There are a couple of reasons. One that comes to mind is that your Hymen never fully ruptured when you had your first intercourse.

If you had a full GYN exam since your first intercourse your doctor should have seen this and complete the removal of your Hyman. It is a simple office procedure. If you have not had a GYN exam I suggest you do so, for two reasons. First it is something every young lady should do on a yearly basis once she starts her periods. Second the bleeding you are experiencing is not normal and your GYN can find out why this is happening.

Since you are over 14 a Federal Law known as HIPPA protects your confidentiality when visiting your doctor(s). By this law you can make and see any doctor for most conditions and specifically reproductive health issues without parental permission. The doctor cannot tell mom or dad what you are being seen for or how and why you are being treated without you specific written permission. If the doctor or anyone in the employ of the doctor releases any medical information without your written permission they can go to Jail.

As for the exam itself mom cannot be in the exam room with you without your permission. This allows you to be totally open and honest with your doctor. Being honest with your doctor allows the doctor to properly treat you and is the specific reason for the clause in the law. Mom or an older sister or anyone else can't bully their way into the exam room with you. The doctor will not examine you with someone else in the room other than his or her nurse without your permission.

So if you have been putting of having these very important yearly female examinations for fear of mom finding out you have had sex. I have taken that fear away. You have protection under the law, so see a GYN and find out the what problem is before it does permanent harm.

So, me and my boyfriend ended up going alittle bit farther and he fingered me. And I moaned and everything but he still says He feels unaccomplished. He says I would have to have an orgasm. But idk how it feels. Like how do you when your gonna have an orgasm? Or you did have one? Help please! Thank you(:

There are a number of reasons why you are having a problem.

For a girl it is a little more complicated. She needs to be comfortable and she needs to feel safe in her surroundings. Remove any of these two things and she probably will not orgasm.

What I suggest is that you first find out if you can orgasm. To do so I suggest you go in your bedroom, lock the door, undress and make love to yourself. Call it self-foreplay or masturbation if you want. There is no sin in masturbation it is after all nothing more than foreplay and according to a recent survey 85 percent of us do it. Most religions condone masturbation including the Catholic church.

If you can relax in your own room and bring yourself to orgasm then there's nothing wrong with you. What you will find out is if you are clitoral or vaginal in nature. If you can orgasm by stimulating your clitoris then what you need to do is get your boy friend to stimulate your clitoris when he fingers you.

Some women are clitoral in nature others are vaginal. If you are clitoral you will need to teach your boyfriend how to please you.

I hope I have helped.

I'm 20 years old and bisexual. I'm always horny and I don't know what to do about it. Please help!

I'm not sure what your question is, or why you listed it as mental health?

Being bisexual is not a mental health problem. Contrary to what some people may tell you being bisexual is not an illness; it is your sexual make up. You can no more change your sexual make up than you can make the sun rise in the west. If you are uncomfortable with being bisexual then that may have a mental health issue you need to resolve with a qualified therapist.

Your sexual make up is what you are born with. While society is learning more about bisexuality, gay and lesbian sex we have a lot more to learn. You on the other hand need to accept who you are. If being bisexual and having sex with both male and female partners gives you pleasure, then who are you hurting? Accept who you are and forget about those out their who are to stubborn accept you for everything you are and not reject you just because they disagree with your sexuality.

As for being horny all the time. Hey your 20 years old. You in your sexual prime. You're suppose to be horny all the time. If you can't find a willing partner to work off the sexual energy with. There is always masturbation.

Please,no abuse please this is really serious.

When I was about 10, my cousin james was very "horny" if you like, and he'd always try to get me to have ''sex'' with him. I didn't want to at all, but I was too scared not too. He didn't really have sex with me, he just touched me in the wrong places.

Then, when I was 12. My brother and I were really close, so we'd sometimes sleep on the same sofa and stuff (no sexual activity at first) but then one night, I fell asleep with my mouth open and he started ''kissing'' me. I just let him. I got him off me and ran upstairs. Then, I was sitting with trousers on and my legs slightly apart and he started ''feeling me up''. I also just let him, and ran upstairs after again. Now he always tries to put his hands up my top or down my trousers and I'm too scared to tell anybody.
I think I'm a bad person, seriously I need help, what do I do?

You are not the bad person in the situations you have described. You are the victim. Your cousin and brother should not be doing this to you. It is not just incestuous it is also sexual assault.

Victims of sexual assault are in general reluctant to come forward as they feel they did something to cause the assault to happen. This is wrong. You did nothing wrong and you need to tell your parents before you are hurt more than you have been.

I understand this will be hard for you. There is an organization that can help you with this. Their name is RAINN, which stands for; Rape Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24 hour hotline you can call and speak to a volunteer who can help you. They can even find people in your hometown you can go to for help who will help you tell you parents. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.

You need to stop this before it goes any farther. These people can help you with that. So please call RAINN and ask for their help.

I don't know how other girls can handle wearing dresses and skirts! I feel so wierd when wearing them. And when I am forced to wear them I ALWAYS wear either a leotard or bootie shorts under them. Do ther girls feel weird about it? Or do they like it? Thanks.

First I don't thing your weird; I think this is a coming of age type question. One that has do do with comfort and what you are use too.

When you were a little girl, age newborn to about age 3, mom would probably dress you up as her little doll. When appropriate she would put a dress on you. From age 3 to whenever you decided you would pick out your own clothes mom would dress you in pants as it was easier on her to wash than a dress, with the exception of special occasions. If it was really cold out she would probably put pants on you under the dress as well.

Now you are older and society says you should be wearing dresses and hosiery. Frankly I don't much go for what society says I should be wearing, yes there are dress codes for boys as well. I feel we should dress in cloths that makes us comfortable. If those cloths also say who we are, well that is okay too.

As for wanting to wear skirts and dress? You will grow more comfortable in them as you grow older and find that wearing them is appropriate for what you are doing. School may or may not be a place for skirts and dresses, this is a personal choice for you to make.

I grew into wearing suits and slacks with polo shirts as it was appropriate to do so for the goals I wanted to obtain. You will grow into dresses and skirts when it is appropriate to do so for you. For know dressing comfortably is appropriate for you if that is what you want.

i been with my boyfriend for a while now.. i wanna have sex but im scared.. we make out alot and we have "fun" .. i never seen his dick and he's never seen my vagina but still like i wanna loose my virginity with him .. do my clothes come off first?? how can i make things funner?? is it going to be awkward afterwards?? ect. Help me please?

Sex is something very special and you need not worry about making it more fun then it already is.
As for what to do when the time comes, you will know what to do as sex is a natural part of life and is not something that you can or should plan.

That being said, let me say this. You sound quite young. Maybe to young to be thinking of having sex. For sex to be fun, especially for the girl, there needs to be three things. First you need to feel safe. So you need to be someplace where no one will disturb you or walk in on you. You need to be comfortable. This means that you should be in a bed, not on a couch in someones basement. Part of being comfortable is being nude. How you get there is part of the fun or foreplay of sex. You need to feel secure. Now safe and secure are somewhat synonymous. In this case secure means you have been on birth control for at least 30 days and your boyfriend uses a condom.

Remove any of these three points and your first time will not be the beautiful thing it should be. In fact the older you are, the more mature you are the better it will be. while your body may be capable of sex; if you are a young teenager you are still not mature enough to fully understand the responsibilities of the act and enjoy it as it should be enjoyed.

Now some parents tell their children the facts of life differently. Some just say don't do it and don't give reasons. I believe if you put reason to something it takes the mystery out of it. I believe sex is a beautiful thing that becomes more beautiful if you wait until your old enough to fully enjoy what sex is meant to be.

It would be great to wait until your married to have sex. There are teenagers to day that are waiting. That is something you have to decide. All I ask is that you not be in a hurry to lose your virginity. Please trust me when I say if you wait it will be a more meaningful experience in a few years when both you and your body are mature enough to appreciate it.

I'm 28 years old, female and from France.So, excuse the possible mistakes. My boyfriend of six months previously best friend is blowing hot and cold on me. One moment he is sweet, the next mean and making fun of me.Then telling me it was all joke.He also give me the silent treatment each time i don't do what he expects like if i'm busy with work and can't answer him right back. He seems depressed and has retreated from his social life. I want to help him but he refuses to talk.
I've been battling depression myself and feels so low each time he do this. Shoul i leave him?

The quick answer to your question is yes you should leave him, though for not the reasons you think.

As someone who has suffered from depression and now fighting to stay in remission I can tell you that two people suffering from untreated depression are harmful to each other. This is the reason you two should split up.

When depression hits you, your outlook and perspective on things are effected. You are not always seeing things as they are. Your boyfriend telling you everything is a joke may be a protective mechanism of his making to help him with his depression issues.

The way he is currently treating you is probably the root cause of your own depression. This can have its effects on everything in your daily life including your job.

I suggest the best thing for both of you is to get medical help for your depression issues. That you split up at least on a temporary basis until the fog of depression has been lifted to a point that you can think and see more clearly.

Talk therapy with a good therapist an possibly medication to help lift the fog is the best way to help yourself and your boyfriend. I cannot force you or you force him to seek help. You have to want to get help if you are going to have any success with therapy. All I or you can do is suggest that this is the way to go.

I have one riding lesson a week and while I'm riding I get cramps adn afterwords I usually feel nauseus. Today was really bad but never so bad that I feel like I will throw up. It's really uncomfortable ecspecially because of the bumpy ride home. I am not allowed to post because I ride western and my instructor wants me to stop posting. How can I fix this? Thanks.

While I am not a doctor and cannot make a diagnoses I suspect an inner ear problem may be the culprit. I would suggest you see an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist(ENT).

You do not say how old you are. If you are still in school living with your parents. I would suggest you tell mom or dad about the problem and ask to see an ENT.

The inner ear effects our balance and the symptoms you describe can be reflective of an inner ear problem, or something else. The ENT will most likely order a head CT or MRI and one of these will tell the problem if any.

Today in school we were watching a video and one guy turned around and looked at me. Then he started whispering to the guy next to him, who has stared at me a lot the past few days but hasn't talked to me. Then he looked at me, then a few more guys joined in. So by the end of class there were was a group of like 6 guys looking at me sometimes. Why!?! Thanks!

Yataiguy gave you an excellent answer, one I cannot improve upon; other than support what he said.

Teenage boys can be very strange when it comes to girls. One thing they seem to like to do is come on to girls in groups, as if there is safely in numbers. If their actions cause you to feel unsafe inform the teacher, school principal or if you school has one the resource officer.

There is not reason for you to feel unsafe in school. If these boys are harassing you then the school has policy's to deal with them for this. Telling someone what is happening is what you need to do. You also need to tell your parents so they can follow up with school officials so you feel and are safe in school.

Hiiiii so i have a problem. Its been going on ever since i was little. I've been having vaginal problems for eeeeeeeeever! It's so annoying... So, i always get an uncomfortable feeling down there. like, it's similar to the pain of a bladder infecton. it's really hard to explain. most of the time it's not incredibly painful, more often than not its just extremely uncomfortable and annoying and embarassing. (I feel insecure, even though i know no one knows, i still feel embarassed.) I don't know what it is. it's been happening for a long time. it gets worse before, during, and a bit after my period, then it calms down. My sweat glands are also hyperactive, so i sweat a lot, including down there, which can make it worse. summers coming, and i'm afraid... I have to carry Vagisil everywhere with me, and i have to use it almost every day. everyonce in a while there will be a week where i feel great, and then it comes back.I also sometimes get attacks where its excruciatingly annoying aaaand painful. I don't know what to do... its so inconvient. it will ocassionally keep me from having fun because of embarassment, but also because it sometimes get to where it feels uncomfortable to walk. Is there anyone out there who has this problem, and does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope, or cure? thanks~~~~~

None of us are doctors so we cannot diagnose your problem. Even if one of the lady's on this site had symptoms similar to what you are having it does not mean her problem and yours are the same. So asking the question that you have asked is not going to get you a proper solution or diagnoses, which is what you need.

You have not indicated if you have seen a doctor or if you have discussed this problem with your mother. You really need to do both. This is a health problem not a sexual problem. A health problem that happens to deal with your reproductive system is not something you need to be embarrassed about or one you can not talk to mom about.

You need to see a GYN. If you are over 14 you can see the doctor in total confidence by law. The law is called HIPPA and is a federal law passed with a provision that allows young people to see doctors for reproductive health in confidence. Parents cannot stop you, they cannot inquire of the doctor for what you are being treated or seen for. Everything that takes place in the doctors office stays there. The doctor can tell no one without your written permission. Your mother cannot be in the exam room with you without your permission and she cannot force herself on you or for you to release information to her.

This law as I said was passed with this provision so you can seek medical treatment and be totally open and truthful with the doctor. If this is the reason you have not told your mom and have not seen a doctor you no longer have a reason not to see a doctor as long as you are over 14 years of age.

The problem you have needs to be diagnosed by a GYN and once diagnosed should be easily treated. There is no reason you should have to live as you have been out of any fear your parents may find out something you do not wish them to know. You have protection for this under the law. The doctors can lose their license and go to jail if
they or anyone in their employ release medical information without your permission.

If he goes in your anus, won't some bowel be on the condom?

If he puts it in your butt and he goes deep in, is there a chance that you might bowel a little like when you do an enema?

If he is going to go from your vag to your anus, does he have to switch condoms and then switch back to go back in your vag, so as to avoid fecal matter infections in your vagina and infections in his penis?

Let's say normally he fingers you and then puts his finger in your mouth, if he fingers your butt, wont he have to wash his hands before he puts his finger in your mouth or vag? Or perhaps use a finger condom when he is ready to stick in your anus?

Thank you.

It is best that you explore anal sex on the web before indulging in it.

to answer your questions; yes, some fecal matter can end up on the condom when having anal sex. Not only should the condom be changed before going back to vaginal sex but his hands and entire groin area should be washed with warm to hot water as well.

Never go from anal to vaginal sex with out first washing whatever has been in the anus. The bacteria and fecal mater can and most likely will cause an infection if transferred to the vagina or mouth.

I wish to thank God for Switzerland and the people there who recently voted to make the unsuccessful treatment of depression a qualification for their physician assisted program. I intend to use it. I will not be leaving any family behind because God took them all from me and left me with severe depression for the last 6 years and horrible back pain. I believe this is God's way of giving me a way out. Please tell me how this is wrong? No responses from born agains because they are not saved ad will not be going to heaven anyway.

I too have suffered from severe depression due to disabling back pain as a result of an auto accident. I can't say I feel all your pain but I do know how horrible depression can be. Fortunately I found the right doctor and the right therapist to help me and I have been in recovery now for several years.

I know you feel all alone in the world with the passing of your family. Friends do not know how to be with you or treat someone with depression so they too desert you. But dieing isn't an answer or a solution, it is just an end.

Their is help for your depression and back pain. I see a pain management doctor at a pain management center at a local hospital. I am fortunate to live not far from a Nationally known Rehab hospital that most major league sports use for there players.

As for my depression doctors it took 3 tries to find the therapist I felt comfortable with and 2 tries to find a psychiatrist I was comfortable with. I kept trying until I did find the people that I was comfortable with and that is the key to recovery. The doctors and therapist know this and if you are not comfortable with one say so. They will help you find someone else.

There is help out there for you. You start by asking for help by dialing 911, going to a hospital emergency room or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. They are open 24/7. The number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

What do you do before you get eaten out to smell or taste good??

If you bath regularly there is nothing to do. Your natural smell and taste is what is attracting your mate. I believe they are called pheromones. Covering them up can be a turn off for some men.

Westerners are the only society that cover up their natural odors with perfumes and deodorants. This blocks our natural scents blocking the pheromones meant to attached a mate.

Remember we call ourselves the human animal. Like all animals we find certain scents a turn on as well as a turn off. Covering up your natural sex sent with other than soap and water is not only to my way of thinking a bad idea; it may also be harmful to the natural bacteria we all have living on and in us that is suppose to be there to combat infections.

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