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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
13/f
I know I have a good life. I have a family that loves me, I have a lot of good friends, I get good grades in school,etc. but for some reason, I still get depressed a lot. A couple years ago, I was having extreme self esteem issues (which led to an eating disorder) and problems with my relationship with my parents and I started cutting myself. And the only people I could talk to about it weren't helping me in the way I needed. My parents don't understand what I went through then. They thought I was overreacting when I tried getting help from them.
It was hard, but I finally started to pull myself out of that state. The thing that helped the most was distracting myself with school and extracurricular activities. I've finally realized that I don't want to that anymore, but I still get depressed a lot and I get really moody around everybody. My relationship with my parents has gotten better in some ways, but I get in fights with them a lot. I can't help it sometimes.
I was doing a lot better this year because I started my freshman year (I'm year ahead in school) and I was busy with band too. I met a ton of new people and I started becoming friends with a senior. We got really close and we flirted a lot too. He made it seem like he really cared about me. And then, out of the blue, he stopped talking to me. I thought he needed a little space and that he would talk to me when he was ready. Days turned into weeks which turned into months. And I got no answer. I spent 6 months thinking that I did something wrong. I recently found out that he did something similar to my best friend too. But even knowing that he is a jerk hasn't made me feel any better.
Maybe I just set myself up for failure. I try to have confidence, but I get my hopes up and as much as I try, I am never as good or can compare to the people around me. I just got through applying for an student engineering camp through a university. I got this idea in my head that I could actually get in. I worked so hard, but I know it's going to be good enough. I don't know how I would deal with not making it in. I don't want to be the person I was 2 years ago. I guess I just need somebody to tell me everything's gonna be okay.
Yours is a very complex question. First you most likely are suffering from a form of depression, more on this in a minute. You are an over achiver, nothing wrong with this. You are a grade ahead of kids your own age, could be at the cause of self-image problem. Your 13 in the begining stages of puberty and hormonally imbalanced, effects most of what you have written about.
Teenage depression is very really. Over all 1 in 6 people suffer from some type of depression. For girls the root causes of depression, which is stress, is more evident, as they feel more stress due to the many changes they suffer with puberty than boys do.
If you were an adult I would say you were more of a type "A" personality with a stress disorder. But your not an adult, your a young teenager who has placed a great deal of added stress on herself results in a form of depression. I'm not a doctor and can't make a diagnoses but I have suffered from this form of depression.
To answer your question: Things will get better. You need to have another talk with your parents though for you need to be properly diagnosed. There is no shame here as this is more medical than anything else. If I'm correct in my thinking and you are suffering from teenage depression help is inessence just around the corner.
Once diagnosed the doctor can decide if medication is required or just talk therapy. Talk therapy with a therapist trained in this area gives you a confidant you can talk to about anything and it stays with him or her. No one can be told what is duscussed in therapy. This is how you learn to let go of the stress.
If you cannot talk with your parents than possibly a grandparent or Aunt or Uncle is there that you can talk to who will talk to your parents. Or when you return to school in the fall you can talk to a guidence counselor.
I'm 17/f
I lost my virginity at 14 with my boyfriend who I really liked. From then on when I had sex, it slowly turned from it being with someone I really liked/the one that I loved, to emotionless hook ups at parties an stuff. It really escalated last summer when I started partying a lot. Now I've had sex with I think 14 (fourteen)) guys and one girl (if that counts?) and I know a few have slept around. Especially since one guy was 23 and another was 32.. Yeah I know, don't judge. I know it was wrong and I made mistakes but at the time I was really depressed and going through a lot. I guess I coped by having sex. And while I've had sex with 14 guys, which is a lot to begin with, I had sex with like 11 or 12 of them numerous times. Including the 32 year old.
How high are my chances of having an STD or HIV or something? I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
There is a simple answer to your question. Get tested and find out for sure. You are right to be concerned especially if you participated in unprotected and unsafe sex acts. Rather than guess and worry get tested and know for sure.
Then there is the issue of how many partners you have had in 3 years. Yes you used sex as a coping mechinism. Some people turn to drugs an alcohol. Of the three I guess sex is the better, I'm not sure since I'm not a doctor.
What I am sure of is that if you need to find a coping mechinism there is something bothering you that requires professional help in overcoming. Even using sex as a coping mechinism can be as bad as turning to dope or alcohol as sex can entirely envelope you. Your need for sex can become overwelming and if that happens you are at a greater risk for disease and physical harm.
If I were to guess I would say some type of depression is the root cause of the problem so you should start there. See your doctor and asked to be screened for depression. Your old enough you don't need parental permission to see a doctor. Federal Law grants this to you since you are over age 14.
Your doctor may want another doctor who is better trained to screen for depression to see and treat you. Follow your doctors instructions.
One last thing. It is not uncommon for teenager to suffer for what is now called teenage depression. We once called it a phase children would grow out of and most did. Now we know better and their is medication we can give to our children to help them feel beter. With medication and talk therapy you won't need to use sex as a crutch to feel something.
18/f I was on birth control for a year, and then in March me and my ex broke up so i decided to stop taking them. I started a new pack on the 5th day of my last period which was about a week ago, and had unprotected sex on the 4th day of the new pack, using the pull out method. Ive been feeling weird lately like randomly nauseous and hungrier than usual. Is this a side effect of the pills or a chance that i'm pregnant?
The chances of you being pregnant are slim since most women ovulate sometime around the 7th to 14th day after the end of their period. The operative word here is MOST. It is possible that you ovulate earlier in your cycle.
The best way to know for sure is to have a pregnancy test. Either one given by your doctor, your an adult know you don't need mom's permission to see your GYN or to go to a womens free clinic. Or take a home pregnancy test.
Just a reminder here. Hopefully you are not pregnant and I would bet you are not. In the future, even though you are on birth control again, it is recomended that the guy always were a condom. No matter how well you know him there is always a chance he has an STD that a condom can prevent being spread to you. Condoms do not prevent the spread of all STDs but the are effective agains many. So for your own protection make him wear a condom or don't have sex with him.
When you are in a long term communal relationship and both have been tested. Then you can discuss doing away with the condum. Better to be safe than sorry.
I dont know what to do!!
Okay, so i had sex with my boyfriend on May 19 in the morning and on the 19 at night i was hospitalize in a mental hospital for 20 days . But okay they made me a pregnancy test on the 19 and they told me i wasn't pregnant but can the test show if i was pregnant if i had sex the same day??
& now its been a month and im getting always morning sickness!!!! :'( but then again im in medicines im in prozac and it could be the medicine that makes me sick??!!
Please help!!!! I need to know if that exam worked or not??!!!! Please help! Im only 16 & me nd my bf aren't even together!!!!!!!!!
Please somebody help me
I cannot tell you if you are pregnant or not. What I can tell you is that having sex in the morning and taking a pregnancy test in the afternoon will not show if you have gotten pregnant. It takes at least a week to ten day's for the hormone levels to rise to the point where it can be seen in a normal test.
Since almost a month has past you can get a home pregnacy test and test yourself at home. Or you can vist a womens clinic and get tested. Since you are over 14 years of age you no longer need parental permission to see a doctor for issues relating to your reproductive health and some other issues. By a Federal Law known as HIPPA you are granteded medical confidentiality for these issues once you reah age 14.
You do not need a parents permission to see a doctor. Mom may not be in the exam room with you, unless you request she be. Neither the doctor or anyone in the doctors employ may inform anyone, including your parents, of what a visit concerns without your written permermission, what the doctor treats you for or what you discussed with the doctor. You may if you want also ask for birth control and the doctor must prescribe for you.
Congress wrote the legislation this way so the young people, boys and girls, would seek treatment for ailments concerning their reproductive health. Your doctor/GYN is also your best source of information concerning questions you may have concerning your reproductive health and sex. Trust in the fact that their is no question you could pose the doctor has not heard before and you cannot embarrass the doctor with a question. He or she is there to give you the truth about how things are.
My advice take a home pregnancy test. IF it is positive see a doctor. If it is negative take another in a week and if it is also negative trust the results. As for what your calling morning sickness. If the results are negative it is probably nerves or a stomach bug. My guess it is nerves.
For the most accurate results to a pregnancy test, a blood test by a doctor is recomended.
Hi,
I just completed my first year of college and I'm 19/f.
I have always wanted to do medical mostly because of the money; I've had dreams of having a nice car, my dream house, and giving my kids the things I never had growing up.
I really have a passion for children; mostly smaller kids around newborns-3 year old; and what not which is why I wanted to become a Neonatal/Labor and Delivery Nurse;
Well about 5 months ago, I started working at a daycare; and I fell in love with it. I work about 10 hours a day and I never dread going to work;seeing my children's faces just makes me so happy and I love thm all.
wel my boss told me that she wished she could find more people like me and i should really change my major to child education and if I stay with her, good things will happen for me; blah blah blah;
honestly,here lately, I've been thinking about opening up my own daycare- I could see myself truly happy for the rest of my life doing it;
I'm just so confused.
I talk to my boss and she said she's had this daycare about 4 years and she's just now making steady money. There are pro's and con's to both
NURSING:
Pro's:
-Great money, benefits, and insurance.
-I'd be able to have the things I've always dreamed of, along with giving my kids what is best.
-They are always in need of nurses.
CONS:
-Long hours.
-Working long hours, means I'd be way to tired to actually spend time with my family (I want three kids)
-I'd have to work weekends.
-Not set hours; changes often.
-Have to find somone to watch my kids while I'm sleeping, working, or my fiance is working (he's goin to be a math teacher)
-School is 8 years, and I'd hate to do it and than when I'm 26 figure out it' not for me.
DAYCARE:
PROS:
-Great hours.
-Weekends off.
-A place to put my kids in for free.
-Spend time with them a lot more because like I said, great hours and weekends off.
-I'd be able to set my own hours.
-I don't need an education(although, I am so it'll look more professional)
-I already know I love it, and what exactly I am getting into.
CONS:
-Money.
-Daycare failing; not having enough kids to make it happen.
Any help? I tried talking to my mom and dad, and my mom said its because I'm lazy and dont' want to go to college,but I love school. Always have; (a-ab student)s that I'm not going to do either because I don't have it in me.
I just need some advice; I'm torn i dont wanna make a bad choice; although both will be a risk.
:/
Both careers are very rewarding. Something to add to your Pros list for Nursing.
A friend of my wife and I is a registered Nurse. Since having children she worked part time. By her choosing she worked one weekend a pay period and 2 to 3, 12 hour shifts, 6 pm to 6 am, a week. The hospital is and was, always glad to have her whenever she is available and now when she is on shift she is the charge nurse, head nurse, for the floor she works. She makes more money per hour than the full time nurses since she has no benefits. Either she or her husband was always home with the children so there was no day care costs. She prepared dinner before she left for work and was home to send them off to school in the morning.
In the evening her husband saw to dinner with the kids. Saw to their homework, bath and bed times. She got home before he'd left for work, made and ate breakfast with the kids and sent them off to school before she went to bed. In the summer she either did not work or the boys went to summer camp.
They are retired now with a great retirement savings as she has made as much money working part-time as his full time job brought in. Health insurance came from his job. They wanted for nothing as the children grew, taking wonderful family vacations. Both of their boys went to College and Grad School one of which is now a Laywer. Neither child has a tuition bill to pay off.
As I said both careers offer many rewards. Nursing and child care will always be needed. If you want to see what Nursing is all about try working as a nusrses aide. This should give you enough insite into nursing to tell you if this is the career path for you. Most hospitals will train nurses aides and for the good ones will pay for their college in return for signing a contract to work for them for a apecific period after graduation. That is how badly nurses are needed
F/19
I am about to be a sophomore in college. My whole life I have made fairly good grades up until high school. I started a bad habit of procrastinating and getting things done only at the last minute. My grades suffered a little, but ultimately I finished high school with good enough grades to get into a pretty big university. Anyway, this past year (as a freshman) my grades suffered a great deal. I couldn't focus in class, I couldn't motivate myself to do any of the work, even the night before it was due. And it's not like I party much. I hardly every went out. But when it would come down to doing my work, I TRIED to get focused and I couldn't. The week of finals, I had to write a huge paper, and sat in front of my computer for literally 6 hours and wrote a total of one paragraph. It's not that I find the work boring, and deep down I love learning.
Since my grades dropped so low, I was put on academic probation. And I know that all I need to do is focus. I just don't know how to get motivated. I know the consequences, I just can't make myself have the will to complete things. What I am wondering is.. how do I make myself focus?
First off stop worrying, your not the first teenager to have this problem and you won't be the last.
If you are not already at home for the summer then when you get home schedule a visit to your family doctor. You need to be screened for adult AD/HD. Attention Defficet, Hyper-Activity Disorder. Form what I know about this disorder you are about the right age for it to settle in.
Unlike childhood AD/HD it manifest very much as you have written. Before doctors put their finges on this parents would say you are just lazy. This is wrong and the problem is easily treatable if ou are diagnosed properly for it. Your doctor may want another doctor to examine you and make the diaganoses. If so, follow your doctors orders and see the other doctors. Some doctors are better trained in this disorder than others. Should your doctor refer you to another doctor for examination and treatment he/she is doing so in your best interest.
Since this medication may need to build up in your system see your doctor soon. So by the time you return to school in the fall you are receiving the full benefit of the medication and are back to your old self.
If you are still at school go to the campus medical center.
my 21 year old daughter will be going to jail for five months (Jail not prison). I wonder how this will affect her life. She was going to college and had a job in her college too. Will she be able to go back to college when she gets out? How will this affect her employment opportunities?
also, I fully support my daughter going to jail (because she committed the crime so I feel she must do the time, also it might be a good learning experience and toughen her up)I will make sure she serves her sentence no matter how much she kicks, cries or begs, but I do wonder how it is like there. I hear that jail guards turn a blind eye to prisoners who get assaulted or attacked, is this true?
Is there anything I can do to help her prepare herself for this?
county jail, she is going to, not prison. I don't know if that changes anything
I really cannot help much with the last part of your question not having or nowing anyone who has ever been in one. I do know a couple of correctional officers and I know they do work hard to insure the saftey of the prisoners as it also insures thier saftey as well. But jails and prisons are under staffed and guards cannot be everywhere at once.
As to the first part of your question. Your daughter should be able to keep up with her college courses while in Jail. Most Jails do offer some type of extentsion education programs. Enrolling in them will help her work towards good time credits for early release.
As for returning to campus. That is probably going to determined based on a number of factors. The crime itself, whether she was convicted of a feloney or misdemeanor, plus I'm sure the school has some sort of policy regarding these types of issues. Also if she is attending a private VS a State Institution probably plays into this as well. These are things you could check into while she is serving her time.
If she is serving time for a misdemeanor she may not have to tell the school. Misdemeanor crimes can be punishable by jail time. A taffic ticket is a misdemeanor crime that does carry jail time if a judge wishes to impose it. This is up to the judge based on request by the prosecution, recomendations by the parole department and the judges on feeling of the perons remorse for the crime.
The same is can be true for future employment. It depends on the job applied for and how the question is asked. If a security clearence is required the crime itself regardless of how charged could disqualify her.
I'm 12 years old and in one month I'm going on vacation will a guy that has been my best friend since I was 5. we will be swimming a lot in the ocean and in regular pools, and I would use a tampon but I'm scared, because about 2 months ago I went to Hawaii and I used a tampon without any problems, but the next time i went snorkeling about 5 mins after I got out of the water (I was on a boat) there was blood runnning down my leg and everyone saw, so I don't know if tampons are reliable and if the bathroom is close enouph for me to run to at the beach if I have another tampon problem.
I may be a male but I am old enough to be your grandfather and have had children of my ow. I am now waiting for grandchilodren to arrive.
I understand your concern and I will not make light of it for I know it would be embarrassing for you if it were to happen again. What I am going to tell you is this. Properly inserted and using the proper aborbtion tampon, changed as directed you should not have this problem.
As to proper insertion. This is not something I, being male, can help you with. Your mom is someone who can and I'm sure if you went to her would be more than willing to help you.
Your period is a normal bodily function of women your age up through age 50 to 60. Men such as me, your dad, future boyfriends and even your older brother(s) know all about the trials and tribulations women suffer with their periods. Mom I'm sure suffered thorugh all the fears you will face as you grow older. Trust me when I say the only thing sexual about a womens period is they control conception otherwise there is nothing sexual about them.
You should be go to mom and say to her; "mom I have a problem I need to speak to you about in private." Mom will, I'm all most positive, know your problem has something to do with womens stuff as we boys/men refer to this.
The reason your Tampon leaked the last time was either it was not put in properly or it was not strong enough to absorb your flow, Talk to mom and I'm sure she can help you.
Hi, 19/f and my boyfriend is 19/m
Well, we've been together for almost 2 years; I took his virginity, and I had another partner before him.
When we first started having sex, we would do it often. If not sex, we would fool around.
Now, I don't care for sex. I don't even like doing sexual things to him; make out, whatever, and I don't know what is wrong. I can tell that it hurts him that I'm not sexually affectionate anymore; but it's hurting me too because I'm not too sure why.
Everytime we have sex, he cums within 2-3 minutes; he tries a lot to do things, but I'm just not feeling it. I cannot reach the big 'o' either, and he helps me with clit stimulation-but idk. :/
I love him so much. And I don't want him to feel like I'm not attracted to him anymore, because I am. I've told him that plenty of times, but I think he's getting a little restless (i don't think he'd go cheat on me because he isn't getting sexual needs met)
Even with my last partner, I was with him for almost 9 months, and at first, I enjoyed it, and than after 5 months, I just didn't crave it anymore. I think I have a low sex drive; I'm not sure. I heard depression also causes loss sex drive; and my mother suffers from it and takes medication and there are days where I'm depressed and don't even know why; I've looked up symptoms and I believe I have majority; the only one I don't have is suicidal thoughts and what not.
It could also be because we are living with my parents and before he moved in, his mother walked in on us and I was so embarassed, and I really don't want my mom or dad walking in on us;
but even when NO ONE is home, I don't want to do it.
Another thing that confuses me is,
in April we went to Gatlinburg, TN- just the two of us for 3 days; I wanted to get away from stress with work and college; and same with him;
and we had sex atleast 10 times and I was craving it so bad.
Any help?
I'm old enough to be you grandfather and maybe a little older than your parents. Maybe I'm a little to liberal in my views but you are of legal age and above the age of consent in every state. Nhaving obtain the age of majority certain rights and privileges come with the. Privacy of a lockable door is among them as is the right to a sex life. You made it through your adolescent years without becoming pregnant, that should count for something.
They may believe it is the tight control they kept on you. I know better not because you said so but because you are not with child. Their control did not keep you a virgin.
Now you do live under there roof and may still be dependent on them. Respect for them and their beliefs is still in order. They to must give you some respect in that you now have legal control over your life and they must allow you to take control. That is the hard part for parents, letting go of their children and allowing them to grow. Daughters especially for you will always be daddy's little girl even when you marry and have kis of your own.
You need to talk with them. Tell the that you an adult, a fledgling adult may be, but legally an adult. You need privacy and a chance to to explore what life is and has to offer if you are ever going to make your way in this world as they have.
Then answer their questions. If they ask about a sex life ba honest and tell them..
I'm not a doctor so I really can't give you an answer. You have a lot of issues here that would make sex an issue of contention for you. The biggest of them would be your pregnancy scares and the fact a parent walked in on you while having sex.
Being predisposed to depression with depression in the family is an issue you need to be evaluated for by your family doctor. I have suffered from depression an can tell you depression, untreated, hurts in ways you will never realize low sex drive or overly sexed is among them. Suicidal thoughts are not always an accompanyment to depression. Speak to your family doctor and get screened. You may need to take medication, which is actually a hormone replacement for the hormones missing or not enough of that control mood swings. Plus talk therapy with a qualified therapist to get at the root cause of the stessors causing the depression. Stress is a major cause of depression.
As for birth control and pregnacy. If you are on the pill or some other form of birth control and your BF is also using a condom, correctly. Then your chance of becoming pregnant are way less than 1%. I belief the studies put is under a half of a percent which statistically is about zero. This is something you would want to talk about in therapy for from my point of view you are concerned over something that almost can't happen.
You say you live together in your parents home. Speaking of a parent of an adult child who has on occassion lived with me for various reasons from time to time. I would think your parents believe the two of you are having sex. Accordingly whatever part of the house you two occupy I would be careful not to intrude upon you. They would no more want to see you two having sex or intrude upon you two having sex than have you walk in when they are engaging in sex. If your door has a lock on it, lock it if you think you two may engage in sex or just make a habit of locking your door when together in your room.
Should your doctor find that you are suffering from depression. First don't let the word upset you. It is not so much a mental disorder as it is a medical one. Simple depression, unlike manic or other types is primarilly chemical or hormonal problem. Easilly treatable with medication for a period of time and talk therapy. While in talk therapy you should find a time to bring your BF into a session so that he understands and the therapist can help you explain to him what is happening to you and how he can help.
Please trust me here if you are found to suffer from depression. If you work with the therapist, with or without medication, things will get better. I've been there so I know.
I got off of my period during the end of memorial weekend, last Sunday, June 10th, I engaged in risky sexual activity with my boyfriend. We didn't have sex and he didn't go inside AT ALL. He rubbed his penis against my clit, he did not cum and he did not do it long either. But I'm really scared the Precum will cause me to become pregnant. Im pretty sure it was the day after ovulation too. PLEASE HELP ME
It is unlikely but possible that you can become pregnant from this type of sex play.
If you are going to engage in this type of sex play you should at the very least take steps to protect yourself from getting pregnant. This means you need to be on some form of birth control or your partner needs to wear a condom regardless of whether he is going to penetrate your vagina. When it comes to pregnancy consider his penis a loaded gun with an uncontrolled hair trigger. If it is anywhere near your vagina it needs a saftey cap, that is a condom.
If you are over 14 you do not need parental permission to seek birth control medication from your doctor or any womens free clinic, or to see a doctor. This is a right granted unto you by a Federal Law known as HIPPA. Within this Law which covers youngsters age 14 and up. Medical privacy is granted for things such as your reproductive health.
This means you do not need moms permission to see a GYN. Mom may not be in the exam room with you during the exaam unless you request her to be there. No one in the doctors employ or the doctor can tell anyone including your parents what you are examined for or treated for without your written permission.
The purpose of this is that Federal Law makers want, especially young women although young men are also covered,to seek medical help and counseling when they have concerns with any issue that might effect their reproductive system but won't do so because of fear of parental backlash.
Federal Law cannot be exempted by state law so this right to medical privacy cannot be overridden by state law. My suggestion then is if you are engaging in risky sex you visit a GYN or womens free clinic and obtain birth control. Also it is always advisable to have the young man use condoms as condoms while not protecting from all STDs do protect from many.
my 21 year old daughter has been sentenced to 5 months in the county jail (She never did anything like this before and it was a big shock) and I told her I don't really feel sorry for her because she committed the crime and she needs to do the time and maybe it will be a good learning experience and toughen her up. Is this too harsh? Am I a bad person for saying this?
Are you confusing sympathy and love. It is one thing to have no sympathy for what she has done wrong. Like you said; "she did the crime. she must do the crime." Now if she was wrongly convicted and you can prove that, then having no sympathy would be wrong.
I once wrote a leter to the parents of a girl my wife worked with who chose to believe the lies her ex husband had been telling them about her. Because of those lies they said some very terrible things including they no longer loved her or considered her their daughter. After I set them straight about the lies I told them that their were many things my child could do to loose my respect. I could think of nothing that my child could do to loose my love.
This is the reason behind my question symapathy or love. If she has lost your respect and sympathy your not a bad person. If you have lost your love for your daughter I urge you to rethink this issue.
She is still your daughter. She will do her time. She can work to regain your sympathy and respect. She should not have to work to regain your love.
ok, for starters I'm 23 yrs of age, - female- my current boyfriend is the same age. We've been on and off for 5 years but he was my he sweetheart. We are the type if couple that everyone says you both look good together. When were good were great and in love but when were bad we try and hurt each others feeling and despise each other. He normally starts the fights and he's aware of that, but I don't walk away from the situation I feel like i need to stand up for myself, then suddenly its a game of whoever says or does the most irrational thing wins. We have been together for so long it's like we can freely say whatever and curse at each other because we love each other well apologize later and then go back to our old routine. But some of the stuff that he says stays in my mind and I'm sure its the same with him.
We've been through 2 major breakups and I'm usually the one to break up with him. But we often threaten each other were going to leave each other whenever in a fight. Now I'm states away from my hometown I lived all my life and before we moved we were fighting -though it would change when we moved in together -our fights have gotten worse to the point we fight in front of our friends and they wonder if we beat each other up at home.
I really do love him, and he loves me. We go on dates, have movie night and cuddle every night. When were good were great. But I feel myself wanting more out of life individually. He has talked to his parents about proposing to me and we TM have talked about marriage. And he has a great job with a good salary. So we could start a life and have kids. But he doesn't want me my parents in the same state as we are even though they want to move closer to me. I left my dog who is the love of my life at home first him because his dog didn't get along with mine. If i stay with him I will never fulfill my lifelong dream of being a professional dancer in California like my dad was because he wants to move to another country for his job. And i know I'm the only one sacrificing. But I don't know what's best for me?? It's not like I have a guaranteed in bring a successful dancer - its a gamble. But I'm young and I'm okay with taking that risk. But with him, I can't do the things i want and have the things i want, because its all planned out for me.
I'm scared because the linger I wait, I'm just gonna keep sinking into quicksand and it'll be harder to get out. But I'm so list. My parents want whatever I decide but it will devastate them to know my bf wants to move to another country where ill never see them again - and I'm an only child. All my friends think my bf cheats on me though my bf reassures me he doesn't all the time yet leads me into thinking he does.
I'm currently back home for a couple of days which I feel myself again and soooo happy to be home it feels like a dream come true. My dog actually cried and was so excited to see me - more than any other time. I thought she forgot about me but she didn't and she loves me being home. And so do I. But I have to go back to Idaho with idaho with bf and deep inside I don't want to. But we have a year lease which he can't pay for it by himself. And he too knows no one out there. So if i left him he'd be alllll alone. And i have such a big heart that even if I hated him I couldn't do that to him.
HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!
First: I get the feeling you are a very young 23 year old in that you have many unsatisfied dreams. Dreams are good but you have put forth these dreams as goals or milestones you would like to obtain. Unless and until you can satisfy these dreams or rationalize them to their proper prospective you will always wonder if you gave them up for him. If you allowed him to force you to surrender your dreams. This is something that can fester and actually harm a marriage down the road.
Second: Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. From what you have written I don't see that anywhere. what I see is he comes first. His job, where he wants to live, your parents can't live in the same state that is very controling of him. The days of a wife being totally subservient to her husband went out when women gained the right to vote. You have not written about anywhere in his plan where he accomodates any of you wishes or desires. His dog not yours, starting a life and having children is part of marriage.
Trust is a big part of marriage and from what you have written you two have trust issues. If I was your father and I'm just about old enough to be your grandfather. My advice would be to stay where you are. If I could afford it I would write him a check for your half of the rent for the time between now and when he plans to leave the country or the next three months, which ever comes first. I would tell him to pack up your things and send them home to you.
To you I would say he is not the right choice for a good life partner. That you need to follow your dreams first, then once obtained if obtainable you can then carve out the future that is best for you. To look for a man who is both loving and supportive of what you want and someone who you can support in his lifes desires.
I will be married for 41 years caome next month. Your parents have been married for at least 24 years. What I am telling you is what has worked for us. Love each other and support each other. Most of all you must trust each other. I don't see this in your current relationship. Love and sex can only sustain a relationship for a time. For a truly long term relationship their must be love, respect and mutual support.
I am unsure if I am interested in law but my college doesnt offer any specific law courses. What courses can i take to see if i want to travel down that path. Would intro to criminology help? thanks
Flare has offered you good information. Job shadowing is a greatway to learn about a specific job or career. I can't think of any company or firm that would not accept free summer help in return for showing you the basics of what the job or career is all about. You may be just a glorified goffer. But the job of goffer is important as it relieves, the Laywer in this case, to do the things that actually bring revenue into the firm.
As to that courses to take this year in school. Since your college does not offer pre-law courses I would suggest taking the Libral Arts course that all degrees require. Should you find over the summer that Law is the area you wish a career in then you might want to find a school that not only offers pre-law courses but also has a Law School affiliated with the College.
Schools such as the University of Maryland, Harvard, Yale are just a few schools that come to mind. You can apply to transfeer to one of the schools you find possibly as early as your second semester. Definatley in your second year.
I'm a 31 year old male and I just want to know, why is my stool blood?
If you can actually see red blood on the TP or in the bowl. Then the blood is most likely not in your stool but external to it. This could be because of a hemeroid breaking or a anal fisure.
In either case I suggest you see your doctoro soon. It may be something you just take stool softeners for or there may be other things wrong that need further diagnostics and correction.
What jobs can i get with a sociology degree and do I NEED a PhD for sociology careers? Thanks!
Most states now require a Masters Degree in Sociology in order to be a licensed social worker. Social working is the primary work for someone with a degree in Sociology. The career itself can be very rewarding. Although depending on how you practice the pay can be fair to dismal.
The social workers I know either work in Hospitals, work for State, City or County Agencies or have solo practices. Some have full time jobs in one of the aforementioned and a small practice on the side.
WhEn me and my bf are having sex he gets me so wet that whn his going to put.his dick on me i get dry so fast
It would be nice to know how old the two of you are.
I don't think there is anything wrong that needs a doctors intervention. I'm going to guess here that the two of you are teenagers having sex. It is also possible you are not on birth control and you are relying on condoms or no birth control at all.
If I have guessed correctly the problem is nerves, the fear of getting pregnant. It may not be a conscious thought but more of a sub-conscious thought. Your fine with foreplay but when it comes to actual intercourse you physically dry up.
The best way to overcome this is to use lubricated comdoms or use a lubricant that will not degrade the condom you are using.
If you are over 14 you can see a doctor and ask for birth control in total privacy without parental permission. This is a right provided under a Federal Law known as HIPPA. This law provides that anyone over 14 may seek proffesional help for their reproductive organs health without parental knowledge or permisssion.
NO ONE, NO ONE in the employ of the doctor or the doctor may release any inforation to anyone including your parents without your written permission.
If mom were to take you for a routine GYN visit you can and should ask to see the doctor in private. The doctor will honor this request and ask mom to wait in the waiting room. Whatever you and the doctor talk about, the doctor examines you for or treats you for stays between you and the doctor. A court cannot order disclosure of this information, it is privilaged and confidential. This was done so young people would seek medical treatment for questions or problems with their reproductive health. It is at this time you can ask for birth control or you can go to any womens health clinic.
So if I have guessed correctly and you would like birth control medication, it is availble to you as long as you are over 14. You do not need parental permission or knowledge. One thing if you do get birth control medication from a GYN or heath clinic make sure to tell you family doctor. The same protections and confidentiality are afforded for visits with you famiy doctor. Your familly doctor needs to know all medications you are taking so they can properly treat you. Birth control pills do have side effects that you familly doctor should know which medication you are taking.
Since this medication is covered under HIPPA the doctor must protect your privacy. To violate privacy is punishable by 5 years in prison.
I've posted an earlier question about being annoyed with the neighbour's kids because they keep coming over, and staying over at my house, and entering without knocking or anything.
Everyone has advised me earlier to speak to the parents, but I am extremely shy and I feel bad having to speak to the parents because I feel I shouldn't have to because 1) it might create animosity 2) i feel absolutely terrible
Just literally less than 5 minutes ago. I've had another experience that has me extremely annoyed.
It would be nice to know your exact age though I can guess from your writing you are much older than this 8 year old child.
You are also correct that it is not right for this child to come charging into your room or your house with out asking permission. You are also correct in saying 10 at night is to late for this chuld to be out of her house and running into your house.
Where you get off track a bit is your feeling that you must solve this problem. Regardless of how old you are. Unless you are an adult it is not your place to tell an adult how to raise their child, or to complain about their childs behavior unless you are their baby sitter.
What you need to do is talk with your parents. If they are unwilling to talk to the childs parents then your family will have to make some changes to protect your privacy from the neighbors children. The simpelest change is to keep the doors to the house closed and locked at all times. This means everyone needs to take their house key with them when they leave.
With the doors locked this child cannot barge in but will have to knock to gain entrance. This is when you, mom or dad can say no to the child and send her home. After awhile, even at her young age she will get the message she cannot be with you all the time.
Fact is this child loves you and wants to be with you. This should mean a lot to you. There is an old saying to trust children and dogs. Their instincts will tell you who to trust. You should be proud that this child trusts you as she does. It means she feels safe with you, though it is understood how this can be bothersome to you.
My boyfriend has just arrived from a trip this morning,the thing is that as his trip lasted like 16 hours,I couldn't sleep till I knew he was home and safe,I had terrible dreams about him being run over by a train,it's crazy!I know it,moreover,his phone had no reception during the trip so as I couln't communicate with him,I freaked out,this morning,before I knew that he had finally arrived,I called his family,friends and even to the bus station where his bus was supposed to be arriving!!!Once he was back in town he could see all the texts I had sent him as well as my calls,he was shocked and very concerned,of course,who wouldn't be?help?
I would have liked to know your age as it does have a point of issue here. In what you have written there is a fine line between being paranoid and being in love. Possibly puppy love if you are very young.
If you are only being paranoid, as you put it, over your boyfriend and nothing lse in your life. Then I don't think we can call you paranoid. Your love struck, a common occurance with young people.
If this happens to you in other parts of your life then being paranoid to some degree may be a problem that you need proffessional help to work on. Depending on your age if you are under 18 talk to your parents about seeing a therapist for talk therapy. If you are over 18 you can make your own arrangements.
There are reasons for just about everything that happens or we do. For something like this it is probably something deep seated that you are not aware of. A therapist can help you find that deepseated cause , then work to control it.
This may sound like a very stupid question, but what exactly is phone sex? I don't really know what it is and I feel like a moron when it's mentioned. And what is the point of it? Why do people "have" phone sex? Thanks!
Flare's answer is just about right on. Some people pay big money to 900 numbers for phone sexx and they masturbate while the women (generally) gets them off while talking really sexy. Telling him or her what she is doing to him/her. Some people call this mind f*cking.
For couples who have to be apart for long periods of time. Phone sex is way to be together even if it is for mutual masturbation by phone. Here again it is one party telling the other party either what they are doing to themselves or what they will be doing to them when they get home.
Like masturbation itself, this type of masturbatory sex is harmless and relieves stress. It only becomes a problem when it becomes an all encompassing part of your life.
This is a very complicated situation so I'll try to keep it simple. I'm 19, my friend, Steven, who is 20 and his girlfriend, Michelle, who is 18, have had a very on and off relationship for a very long time. It's also long distance, but she lives relatively close. They would fight and say horrible things to each other. She has a child with him. My friend wanted me and his girlfriend to have a threesome, and eventually me and Michelle began talking and we admited we had feelings to each other. Steven's always told me how he would be fine with me being with her, that'd it would take a load off of his shoulders, etc. I wasn't sure what they really were at the time, but they broke up regardless and he found out she liked me. I asked his permission to date her and he said it was fine, just to be careful with her and so on but the next day he lost it. His mother brought him to a mental hospital where he stayed for a day because he feared she was a suicide risk.
Now, before me and Michelle really got together, I asked this other woman out a few days earlier, Amy. She turned me down because she wasn't ready for another relationship, but she wanted to know me better. She said she would be fine if I was with other women and we agreed to stay friends for then. Only a few days later me and Michelle started having interest in each other. She felt that I was just trying to sleep with her (which I wasn't) and I thought she calmed down, but eventually she cut off all contact with me. I know she's had previous issues with an ex who slept around so I guess it lead her to this. Now that's in combination with my friend, Steven, who I don't feel is in the right mind now and says he's fine with us being together, but still is unstable and is under watch from his mother. So that's two friends that are right now already damaged by this. I don't believe Steven is suicidable but he's not in a good way right now.
What I'm asking is if I should just cut off this relationship with Michelle, at least for now. I love her and she really loves me, but I don't want to keep having to deal with the constant strife and her already having a child is complicating matters further. My friends have stayed neutral for the most part but this is just a dark cloud over everything at the moment.
Thank you.
I don't think this is a good time for her to be in a relationship. So yes you should avoid all contact for now.