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Hey Everyone :) I'm Kate and a level 2 mod on here. I've had this account since July 2004, so I've been on here since I was 13! Wow ... crazy for me to think how long ago that was. I will admit I don't check in as often as I once did, but being away at college, being in a sorority, and having a job when I'm not at school is very time consuming. I still try to help out as much as possible, and if you send me a question I WILL answer it. This site helped me a LOT when I was in high school and had a lot of questions, and I'm here to help anyone who needs it :) Feel free to write in my forum or send me a question any time!

advice

Ok I'm super confused so maybe someone can explain this to me! Let's say a boy is 17 and in your state the law is a 17+ person can't date a minor then can he have a 15 year old girlfriend? Because I was reading that there are laws that when your like 17 and up you can't date minors but what about teens around the same age with only a couple years difference? Thanks so much and I will rate everyone who helps me! :D

Theymos is correct; there are no laws stopping you from dating whomever you would like.
The law you are thinking about is that you can not have sexual relations with those of certain ages.

In the state I live in the age is 18 (as far as I know) and there is a 4 or 5 year loophole. That means that a 17 year old could legally sleep with a 21 year lf they choose to do so.

It has nothing to do with actually dating them; it's sex that mattters.
The only dating issue is between a teacher and student. It is not legal for age purposes and (I would assume) grading purposes.

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do you think this guy actually has a chance of winning? and will you vote for him? lol just curious.. i mean cause there are so many other good people running this year.. i wish Al Gore ran again.. but theres also Hillary Clinton and that Obama guy who are good IMO. but the colbert guy is pretty funny so i also want him to win. whats your opinion? btw i cant vote now.. im not american and im just 13, ahha.

Wait, so the rumors are actually true? I thought it was all a big joke. I didn't even realize he was actually running.
I bet if he is actually running a lot of his fans might vote for him. This makes me think of the movie with Robin Williams and how he runs and wins.

Anyway, I turn 18 on Nov. 7th of 2008 which is, unfortunately for me, less than a week after the election so I won't be able to vote. A lot of my friends are 18 or will be before the election (seeing that I'm in my final year of high school). It will be a good election though. I personally am against Hillary. Obama, in my opinion seems okay. I also don't mind some of the republican candidates. I'm unsure of who will be running in the 3rd party elections but can't wait to find out.

Anyway, to answer your question, anybody running has a chance of winning. Polls aren't the most accurate no matter what people think. I'm currently in an AP US Goverment and Politics class and we discuss these candidates daily and who we think has a chance and such so I do know quite a bit about the topic.
So, yes, he has as good of a chance as anyone to win.

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My teeth are very small. And I have braces. So that when I smile, it looks as if my mouth is made of metal, and only my gums are exposed pretty much...Because of my teeth being so small. And I hate it. The gums cover EEVERYTHING up. Is there such a surgery as to cut the gums and make your teeth appear larger or something? :/

Yes, actually, there is a surgery that cuts your gums and makes your teeth larger. There is only one issue with it. It is VERY expensive if your insurance doesn't cover it. I actually had it done which is why I know it's true. When I was in the 9th grade and had to get braces my teeth were too small to fit them on. (Yeah, I have really small teeth and big gums). They had to cut my gums. I actually know someone who (for some kind of crazy medical reason) has gums that grow back and he gets them cut every however long (I'm not sure how often). It's crazy in my opinion. My sister wanted it done but because hers isn't necessary and considered cosmetic surgery it's too expensive. Mine was necessary so our insurance covered the entire thing.
It doesn't hurt at all either. They numb your mouth, cut it however they do (I wasn't concentrating.. I was too nervous). Then they put this whitish thing that looks like chewed gum on your gums to keep them from getting infected so they will heal properly. After a week or so I went back for them to check me out and make sure it was healing properly.

My teeth are still really tiny so I can only imagine what they looked like over 3 years ago when I had the surgery done!

Anyway, you should talk to your dentist or orthodontist about it. What I really want to do when I get my braces off is get my teeth whitened. They're so tiny that the only other way to make them look nice is a perfect whitening =] haha.

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So i have been on the YAZ for almost 3 months now, but i recently had sex and i have tons of the symtoms of being pregnant. Since im on the pill that makes your body think you're pregnant.. will the result of the pregnacy test say that I am pregnant?

A pregnancy test rarely gives false positives. Symptoms aren't what a pregnancy test goes off. There is some sort of horomone that a girl has when she's pregnant which is what the pregnancy test detects. On a website I saw this answer in response to somebody asking if birth control can cause a false positive...

"...pregnacy tests look at a womens hCg levels, which is produced when a women is pregnant. Birth control does not contain this hormone, so would not cause a false positive"
That, along with other answers to the question (and many others) was found on the following website:

http://onlybirthcontrol.com/Results.aspx?page=answers&questionid=20070626073549AAPDHZa&query=Birth%20Control&sessionid=dxaexdfauqmhcz45wjjdg4rb&eas=&cc=us

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Do you know of anyways to hide cutting scars? Or stop cutting? My boyfriend spazed out on me last night when he found out so I need a nice way to stop, the rubber band thing doesn't work well for me...And I also need a way to hide the scars from my family.

I used to cut and I would wear long sleeves and/or lots of bracelets. I was in the ninth grade a really depressed. Plus, back when I was in ninth grade all those Lance Armstrong LiveStrong bracelets were popular along with breast cancer bracelets, etc. so I had tons of them and my scars weren't noticable at all...

Despite the hypocracy, I do not condone this behavior. I've been there, done that and I know how dangerous and upsetting it is. I was able to get help and you should really do the same. The only reason cutting makes people feel better is the endorphines it releases (endorphines pretty much make you feel happy). Whether you tell your parents, a teacher, a guidance councilor, a friends parent, etc. you NEED to tell someone who can get you the help you need.
Luckily I had a teacher I was really close with and I opened up to her. She was able to help me by just being there. I had a few people I cared about pass away and I really just needed stability in my life. She was, in a way, my stability. Knowing that there would be someone in my life who would really be there helped me. I no longer felt the need to cut.

Here is an amazing website which I joined when I was having troubles. http://groups.msn.com/CutItOut
I had actually asked for advice on this very website over 3 years ago and this is the site I was given.
PLEASE, PLEASE try and get some help. Cutting is very serious and can leave permanant scars! You do not want that, trust me. I still have my scars and people still ask. Lucky for me they haev faded quite a bit so they are becoming more unnoticable each day. It's been a good two years since the last time I cut my wrist. I think about it a lot but there are so many other options. Screaming into a pillow, blasting loud music, running, writing, etc. Writing has become my outlet. Whenever I feel any negative emotion I start writing. I've taken refuge in creative writing classes at my school, especially since that teacher I mentioned no longer works at my school. I've been used to seeing her at least two or three times a week during the year. I've spoken to her maybe twice through e-mail this year. It's really weird and kind of ruins the stability thing for me but I can handle it because I was taught to be strong emotionally and to take charge of my life. I can choose how to handle certain situations and so can you!
Cutting is not something you HAVE to do; it is something you WANT to do. You can learn to get past that want; you need to learn to get past that want.

If you ever need to talk let me know, I'm sure I can be of some help.

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im doing chemical equations at school and no matter how many times i ask the teacher for help it doesnt work does anyone know how to explain them to me

I'm not sure how much this will help because I'm not sure what type of problems you're having. When I was having difficulties with chem. equations it was balancing them that caused me troubles.
Here are a few links that should be of help.

http://richardbowles.tripod.com/chemistry/balance.htm

http://www.mikeblaber.org/oldwine/chm1045/notes/Stoich/Equation/Stoich01.htm

http://www.teachers.net/lessons/posts/361.html

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Does anyone have any recommendations for some good Healthy Chips? Or healthy snacks? What are some healthy brands of food?

I'm not sure if there are actual healthy chips, but any baked chips are better for you than the real thing.
Oh, and if you like doritos then I reccommend Sunchips Harvest Cheddar. I LOVE sunchips, especially this particular flavor. They, to me, taste a lot like doritos and are healthier for you. I work at a subs place and my manager and I once actually sat down and compared the different types of chips we sell. It ended up that these sunchips were healthier (or just as healthy) as the others. I don't recall if they were healthier than regular baked lays, etc., but they were definitly healthier than doritos.

=]

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what do you say to someone whos crying? isnt "are you okay?" a stupid question because obviously the person is not okay otherwise they wouldnt be crying. what else can you say? to 1. a stranger 2. an acquantince

Hmm, that's actually a really good question. Normally I'm stupid enough to ask if they're okay.
You could probably ask an aquantince/friend if they want to talk about it, etc.
For a stranger (or friend/aquantince) ask if there is anything you can do or someone that you can get for them.

Seriously though, I love this questions. It's kind of like one of those "What do you say when someone knocks on the bathroom door while you're in there..." haha.

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how do you know if your TRULY in love?

Honestly, if you have to ask then you aren't.
There aren't any words to explain it; you just know. I understand it sounds crazy but once you have experienced love it hits you. You are constantly thinking of that person, you could never imagine a life without them, they give you butterflies in your stomach, your heart races every time you hear their name, etc.

All the cliched stuff is pretty much true. Love is so magnificant that you just know.

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I thinking about becoming a vegetarian/vegan. I know the diffrences between the two. I'm want to for two reasons. Because I hate the way they treat animals to get meat and for dieting reasons. I have a few friends who are vegetarians so I can also ask them this but I want more. What are some things vegetarians and vegans eat. I know what they don't eat and the obvious fruits and veggies. What are some specific things and brands?

Oatmeal
Tofu Scramble
Oven pancakes
Pancakes
Tofu Bacon
Soy Milk
Rice Milk
Almond milk
Oat milk
Hazelnut milk

http://www.veganchef.com/recipes.htm

Here are some websites:

http://vegetarian.about.com/

http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/Everyday-Cooking/Vegetarian/Main.aspx

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I am hanging out with my friends brother next weekend, He is a 19 year old and i am only 16. Should i tell him im 17, i really want him to like me! Maybe he will like me more if there is less of an age difference?

Of course you shouldn't lie about your age!
There are no positive consequences to lying. For every lie you tell you have to tell at least two more to cover it up... What if he wants to go see a rated R movie together? You're not old enough to buy a ticket and he's not old enough to buy more than one... There's a problem already..

It just isn't worth it. He shouldn't care about your age when hanging out with you. One of my best friends is 21 and I'm only 16 (although a senior in high school and I'll be 17 in less than a month...)

Age is just a number and will remain only that. All it proves is how long you've been alive, nothing more. He should like you for you, not for any other reason.

Lying is immature, irresponsible, and not liked by anyone. Don't do it, it's not worth it. One year wouldn't make a difference anyway.

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So , I was watching matchmaker , Yes I have alot of spare time :P
Anndd they were talking about sex . They then said something like I liek to go to rub and tugs .
What is a rub and tug ?

I just went to www.urbandictionary.com and these are a few things it gave me...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rub+%26+tug

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rub+and+tug

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rub+and+tug+palour

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how can i make it so a picture shows up of someone when they're calling me on my i870 nextel phone?

I'm not 100% sure on your particular phone, but on my phone there is a way.
When you edit your contacts there is usually an option for picture ID...
It's the same as when you choose a ringer for a single person, how it usually says something along the lines of ringer ID. It should be the same thing except it should say picture.

I guess I'm not sure if that will help because I don't have a nextel, I have an LG from alltel...

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well, i might be bisexual. i had a girl friend that i really liked but then i broke up with her because she wouldnt let me so things to her like finger her. but im not really attracted to anyother girls. am i bisexual or wat? i like guys but i love seeing naked chiks. so idk.. pls help & also should i come out? how do i tell my mom???!

You never said whether or not you are a guy or girl. This makes me think you're a guy because you say you had a girlfriend and are into naked girls. It also makes me think you're a girl beacuse you say you aren't attracted to any other girls but this one.

If you're a guy - I would say you probably aren't bisexual, you just have one of those feelings.

If you're a girl then I would think that you are. You've had a girlfriend and feel sexually towards the same sex. Then again, you would have to be interested in females romantically also.

It's really not that big of a deal if you are bisexual. Just ask your mom to sit down and tell her you have something serious to discuss with her. Let her know that you feel you may be bisexual or even homosexual. Make sure she knowns that you can't help how you feel, you just feel that way. You like people of both sexes (or the same sex...) and whether it is just a current feeling or how you will feel for the rest of your life, she will have to learn to love and accept you the way that you are.

There is nothing wrong with being homosexual. Just like you don't choose your race, height, name, birth location, etc. you also do not choose your sexuality. Those around you will have to learn to love and accept you. They shouldn't judge you based on whether you are straight, bisexual, or homosexual; they should instead judge you based on your personality, your likability, YOU!

At my school there is this club called the GSA (Gay/Straight Alliance). I'm not apart of it but I'm pretty sure it is for people of all sexualities to share their feeling I guess. I really have no idea...
Anyway, maybe your school has something like that. Or maybe there is a support group near you where you could find ways to come out and accept yourself the way you are.

I think it's really upsetting about how many people there are who feel negaitively towards somebody who is different. I don't think you should necessarily announce it to the world. Maybe tell your close friends how you feel. Don't just tell every random person. If they ask you, go ahead and tell them. You could also just let them find out. You don't have to necessarily tell them, just don't hide it from them. That doesn't mean PDA (public display of affection) is okay. I don't want to see anybody making out in the hallways at school, boy/girl, girl/girl, or boy/boy. It's just wrong to sit there with your tongues down each others throats for all to see...

Anyway, good luck. Never fear who you are, brace it, accept it, look forward to it!

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Hello Again,
I am from India.
Oceanseven, I have an issue with a friend. In this particular instance three people are involved. Myself, Person B, Person C.Person B & C happen to be my close friends. They are my school friends. Due to some misunderstandings Person b& c do not talk to each other that much. Couple of weeks back person b phoned me. Person B told me not to tell person C about the phone call. The reason was person b was badmouthing person c. Since it is matter of friendship, i thought it is best to leave the matter alone. On Thursday person c called me and asked me about person b's phone call. I told her that, i promised person b not to tell and i am very sorry. Now person C said to me " How can she ever trust me?".My questions are:
1. Did i betray Person C's trust?
2. If i betrayed person c's trust, how did betray her trust?
3. I am confused and feeling guilty. How can i let go of the guilt?
Thanks,
Oceanseven

That's a really crappy situation to be put in. One thing I can say is, for future referance, if anybody ever wants to badmouth one of your friends you shouldn't even listen to it. Tell them that you are sorry but "person C" is one of your friends and you don't want to listen to somebody talk badly about them.

For your current situation:
1. Yes
2.You betrayed their trust by listening to someone talk poorly about them.
3. Apologize to this person for having the conversation in the first place and promise that next time somebody wants to talk negatively about them you won't listen.

Gossip is never okay, especially when it hurts somebody. I know it can be hypocritical to say because, let's face it, everyone gossips, it's a form of social capital whether negative or positive. Just be sure to never listen to gossip about anybody. Ask for their forgivness. It may take time to earn it back but I'm sure their friendship is worth it.

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hey guys. so im 17/f, and i KNOW its wrong to take an interest in a teacher, but, hey, you really can't help who your heart likes sometimes. once in a while, my feelings blind me and i think its meant to be, but im not stupid, i know its only a fixation [because i cant have him]. now, i do keep in mind that a relationship with me would cost him his job and possibly his career. but the thing is, just because he's a teacher doesn't make him any different from any other crush. he's still a very young,attractive, charming man, and quite frankly, i think he may like me as well. i can't avoid him, because i take two of his classes [which i can't switch], but i want to get him out of my head. he makes me so nervous, and his classes suck because of it. i dont think im good enough for him anyway. insights?? thanXx in advance.

Hmm, this is a tough situation. As you have mentioned, this could cost the teacher his job. It's a difficult situation to be in. It's too late to transfer out of his classes. I mean it would be possible if you informed your guidance department of your fixation, but that would be embarassing and your classmates could get curious...
You just have to try and keep your mind off of him. I would say to get a boyfriend but I wouldn't want you to date one person just to get someone else off your mind.

Think of it this way, you can't have him now but if it is truly meant to be, next year there won't be an issue.


Try to keep your distance as much as possible. Pay attention in class but not too much attention to his person rather than his class.
We have a teacher at my school who has a reputation for "having fun" with students who have graduated... a lot of girls find him good looking and I think his reputation makes him more "likeable" among the girls. It's a dangerous reputation to get and you don't want to be apart of it. A lot of people could be upset with you if anything happened and the teacher was fired. We had a teacher who allowed students to come to his house and hang ou, be tutored, talk if they were having a problem, etc. One girl's mother found out she was there and everything spun out of control. He's no longer at our school which is horrible because everybody loved him and nothing bad ever happened. Nobody drank or did anything illegal or immoral in his presence, it was a really misfortunate situation... you wouldn't want that for a teacher you like, would you?

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Is there anything wrong with a 9th grade girl dating a 7th grade guy?

There is nothing wrong with it. It might be considered out of the norm, but who cares? If the two people like each other it shouldn't matter. Sure, the 9th grade may be a bit more experienced or at least a bit more knowledgeable, but it shouldn't matter if the two are happy. When I was in the 9th grade I was the same age as a lot of 7th graders (for the first month or two) then the same age as a bunch of 8th graders, so it's no big deal. Think of when we get older, two years won't make any difference at all.

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I cant find this song..
it goes something like
"I slept with my best friends baby sister"
its country Im sure..

&&
Its a country war song type.
Its about a guy looking down on his friends
a part goes..
"i remember when we use to play war in the backyard when we were younger"
or something close to that.
My sister's friend died in the army, and she wants to know that song..
Im sorry if i totally messed up the words to the second one..
Thank you!!

Hmm, are these two different songs you want? If they're the same, then I guess I'm wrong because this one has nothing to do with war. If they are different then I have the first one but haven't found the second.

Startin with me by Jake Owens:

I had a one night stand with my best friends baby sister
And to this day he still wont speak to me
I pawned my grandpa’s old guitar in college
For a case of beer and a tank of gasoline
I took a swing at my old man at Christmas
I never dreamed that it would be his last
I wish mom had rung my neck
When she caught me with them cigarettes
Which reminds me, I’m down to my last pack

If I had a dime
For half the things I did
That didn’t make no sense at all
I’d be living a little higher on the hall
If only I’d’ve known
That later on down the road
I’d look back and not like what I see
I’d’ve changed a lot of things
Startin’ with me

I called my brother everything I could think of
The night he wouldn’t bail me out of jail
I lost a job most folks ‘round here would die for
By laying out all night and raising hell
And I let a woman that I love slip through my fingers
Chalk another dumb move up to my foolish pride
I was there standin’ by the bed
When the preacher bowed his head
With the family, the day my grandma die

If I had a dime
For half the things I did
That didn’t make no sense at all
I’d be living a little higher on the hall
If only I’d’ve known
That later on down the road
I’d look back and not like what I see
I’d’ve changed a lot of things
Startin’ with me

If only I’d’ve known
That later on down the road
I’d look back and not like what I see
Whoa, I’d’ve changed a lot of things
Startin’ with me
Startin’ with me


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so for homecoming i bought this really cute dress and a bought 2 pairs of shoes. one goes perfectly with the dress but is 3 in!!! the other is pretty cute but doesnt go as well. its shorter about a 2in. the thing is im going with a guy that about my height((without heels)) and i think i'll feel self concious about my height around him and other people too if i wear those 3in way cute shoes. And i would be wearing them for pics((the ones the school takes)). i know that the shoes end up coming off your feet like right when you get to the dance...but still i fell totally tall in the 3in ones and not as tall in the 2in. which should i go with?

ps- im 5ft 4

You should go with the pair that you feel most comfortable in.
As long as the second pair matches the dress it shouldn't matter which matches better.
If you are going to feel more comfortable in the 2inch pair, wear the 2inch pair. It's not like you are wearing a black dress with brown shoes. I'm sure whichever you choose will look great.
Just remember, comfort comes first =].

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For a senior class trip we are going to Grad night at Disney World in Florida. Anyway, the trip will be roughly $600 a person. As you can see, it's a pretty expensive trip. It's actually really good for all it includes (meals, bus, hotel, etc.)
Anyway, the students who are going need to come up with some fundraising ideas to help us lessen the price. Unlike with clubs and such we don't have any starting money. We need ideas where we can do things with nothing. (The school has NO money to start us out with and we don't want to risk losing money if the idea fails).
So, any suggestions would be really helpful.

We've come up with a car wash, but I live in NC and where I live there is a drought thing going on and there are water restrictions so it wouldn't be legal.
The trip is in April so if the restrictions are lifted by then we are going to do a teacher car wash or something along those lines.

Any other ideas? Remember, it has to be something we can do with no prior funds.

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