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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

Hi, can you tell me if there is a service out there that will help you find the perfect puppy match for your family? We want a dog, but we want to be sure it will be a good fit for our family. Thank you!

All I could find on the internet are sites that describe which breeds are the best breeds for a family depending on their lifestyle and if there are kids. Thats all fine and dandy. But I remember viewing TV shows that refine that search even better. Because even in the perfect breed, there are still differences in a whole litter of puppies and their own personality traits that make the even better fit and I am sure thats what you are really looking for, only I could not find any links to agencies or companies that do this for a living.
You might try purchasing a magazine about Dogs for dog lovers and see if any such companys advertise in there.
Or try to find a way to contact the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan to ask him if he can direct you to a listing for your state of companies that sell puppies and match the exact personality of the individual dog to the family.

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I have been using the trigestrel for two months but when im using the red 1s im not mensturating is that possible?

I am not sure which pills you are talking about, the active pills or the week of placebo's.

The active pills prevent pregnancy and stop the menstruating process. Thats why there is a week of non active pills to allow the body to go through it's cycle of having a period and clearing out any lining of the womb that may have built up. It's okay to menstruate during the one week of different colored pills. If you are experiencing break through bleeding during the other 3 weeks, you need to go see your doctor and tell them. You might have to be put on different pills or a different dosage.

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The other night I had a dream that I was sat with my boyfriends parents talking to them. The next day, I saw my boyfriends auntie and she came over to me telling me she had a dream about me and it was the exact same dream as I had too! Me and her aren't close at all, we normally just say hi. Can this be a sign of the future? We come from different backgrounds/religion and it's still early months yet, so we haven't told our parents or far family and we're too young for marriage. Has anyone ever experienced this and it actually happened in the future? I just find it really weird and I'm really interested in to know what this means.

When we dream, it is our subconscious minds that rule our dreams. Our subconscious is where our emotions dwell so what we hope for, wish for, that which moves our heart and is important to us will naturally crop up in our dreams.
I read in a book about the Huna beliefs (the ancient Hawaiian beliefs) something that explains the importance of our subconscious when it comes to receiving messages from spirit sources regarding present or future for us personally. I will explain using the diagram used in the book.
Picture a 3 story house. The attic level is your higher self or spiritual source, the main living floor is your conscious mind and the basement is your subconscious mind. You and the subconscious mind have a working connection like a phone line. However your conscious mind does not have a direct line to your conscious mind, it must send messages or contact to your subconscious to go through it. Our subconscious then relays the message to our conscious mind and sometimes thats while we're awake, sometimes while asleep. This is the same way that People hear from God, and those with psychic abilities hear from God, angels or spirit guides.
The only thing is that we believe we are getting our messages directly from a spiritual source because the relay and forwarding of the call/message is so instantaneously that we never realize it passed through our subconscious.

Can the messages be 100% accurate and mean something. Sometimes they can be, and sometimes, the messages have to make it through a maze of our emotions and feelings that can distort the message, hitch a ride and place some of their own spin and interpretation on it depending on a persons hopes and dreams. The art is to learning when it is pure info from spirit or some of your subconscious minds interpretations are mixed in.

When a second person gets a same message, it is there for a reason which may be nothing more than to let you know you have an ability to get messages clearly from the source. I can not interpret what message if any is being sent to you but if you keep on the look out for an interpretation and ask for it willing to hear any answer not just the one you hope for, then you will learn how to hear the answers in your mind. But this is definitely a pay attention thing if another person got the same dream. Trust that your angels or God is talking to you all the time. Its just that we aren't picking up on the messages cus like a radio, we are not tuned exactly in to the station. I know you were hoping for a definite reply more to the tune of "Oh yeah, it means you two will be married one day" but that is not how this works dear. Religious or not, Christian or not, I think you may be beginning to get messages and wonder about meaning because as a soul you are spiritually advanced enough to be ready for the challenge of learning to hear from the source better which will benefit you and at times those around you. Too many aren't able to let alone aware that there may be special meaning to an occurance like this. Only spirit can really lead you in this. Good luck dear.

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I am a bit confused because two times so far hes checked my snapchat story. They werent there specifically meant for him to see it was just for anyone but he specificly chooses ro look at mine. Its confuaing since he hasnt contacted me once in this week that weve broke up except for me contacting him once. He was the one who broke up with me and made it seem like he was never really in love with me anymore that he was falling out of love but why does he check my snapchats? Does that mean that he still is curious with my life and may still love me?

Maybe, maybe not. We live in a society that has grown up with reality shows, always eager to hear what the daily lives of others are doing. We get so caught up watching the lives of others ranging from current friends and past friends to celebrities and random people in shows on TV. Its like a drug we're hooked to, a bad habit. So he could be just doing it out of habit. If that is all you are basing hope on, it's a pretty flimsy hope compared to everything else you shared dear.

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My dad died when I was 12 and a few months ago my cousins husband saw that I was ipset and I explained to him about my dad and he said I could claim him as my dad and I have even been calling him daddy here lately .we have gotten extremely close this n past year and even when I make mistakes like havingsex outside of marriage nothing I do could make him mad enough to keep me from being his daughter even though its only by verbal adoption and not by blood he says I am the best daughter he could ever have asked for and Fathers day is coming up this June and I know he dosnt expect anything from me but I want to suprise him because he did something for me he didn't have to do letting me be his daughter. Any advice on what I can give him would be greatly appreciated. I know he likes Georgia bulldogs duck dynasty and tapout and likes to watch movies and likes to read please remember I am on a $40.00 a week budget but I want it to be something special .

Those special family connections are great when they happen. My 2nd husband has a college age lady who lives in another state now but she became like an adopted daughter though I've never met her but talk to her online. She calls him Dad too. Thats a special kind of love. So glad you have found it. If he is your 'Dad' by heart choice, then dont stop at Fathers day, remember him too for birthday and Holidays or any other event special to you that you'd like his presence for. Walmart has big bins of really inexpensive DVD's if you go that route. My sister found a dollar store that had a selection of books, really good ones. I still treasure the one she got me one Christmas. The book probably sold at the same time in bookstores for 15 16 bucks or more. It wasn't an outdated book, just over stock I guess. So starting looking around now. I have no idea what Tapout is other than a search online shows it to be a band? CDs arent that expensive either. Start setting aside a little money out of each weeks $40. until you have enough for a CD instead of spending the majority of your $40 in one shot one week leaving you short for other stuff. A gift is great but it's what you write in the card that will be the most meaningful. Write to him from the heart telling him how special he is, he knows but give examples like, Dad, I am so happy to you truly love me unconditionally, no matter what I do, right or wrong..you love me. You inspire me to be the same kind of person, to love others like that, etc.... I had daughters and whenever they took time to remind me in cards of silly little things I did that meant more to them than I thought they had, it melted my heart. Theres nothing more special than the words you can share from your heart.

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I got my cartilage pierced about 2 months ago and today I took it out to clean it (after 2 months that is allowed) and it was bleeding. Not a whole lot, but it was. It's never done that before and I don't see a lot of swelling or even much of a bump formed at the back. Is bleeding possible without having an infected piercing?

Hon, if I were you, I would be asking the people who gave you the piercing. This is their business and they will have more details on what to expect afterwards, how long to heal or what things can go wrong. I am only familiar with ear piercings and even with that have seen the gamut. The swellings, soreness, bleeding even with out infections, healing only to break open again. And one daughter have repeatedly following directions from where she got ears pierced and just had to come to the conclusion that she could not wear earrings at all because her body was too sensitive and reacted allergically, as if some terrible foreign substance was in her body. And she let it heal over.
Since there's no infection, I wouldn't be alarmed, but your body may never totally heal or keep healing and breaking open to bleed again. Your body may simply be rejecting the piercing. I wouldn't give up yet tho. Just ask the piercing specialist how long it can take for this type of piercing to heal properly and at what point if it doesn't heal, should you give up take the piercing out and let it heal for good.
I was about to go get a belly button piercing until I heard from a lot of friends including one who did try this type of piercing that for some odd reason it has the slowest healing rate and the least likely chance of healing at all. So all the cost, effort and time was just wasted. That changed my mind in a hurry, cus if it was less than 50% chance of working on me, I wanted nothing to do with it.

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Hi, I'm currently a guy (16 Years Old) that wants to know what kind of fun things could two lovable teenagers do for like a special romantic date. I really want to surprise my girlfriend but it's really hard of doing so just because I have no idea what to do sometimes... It stresses me out because she talks about me not making the decisions of what we'll do a certain day that we'd want to see each other. When we're together we have fun but it just really bothers me.

You make it sound as if you are the only one responsible for planning a date out. Why not take turns so that lets some of the stress off you to begin with. If the idea is that the partner is supposed to be surprised and have no idea what the date is going to be, thats fine...just every other date out, she plans one to surprise you, you plan one to surprise her. try making the suggestion and see what she thinks.
I don't know if you drive, have access to a car if you do, have any money whether from a job or allowance so I really have no idea what suggestions to make.
I will have to assume that there is very little money and it's supposed to be creative still, unexpected, a surprise and romantic. Really limits things but if its really the thought that counts to her...then there's unlimited stuff you can do, some corny maybe but the effort put into it from a loving heart are what makes it special.

Right off the bat, I am thinking of something I did for husbands first birthday. I told him we were going out to dinner and that our friends got me tickets to a show I was taking him to after the restaurant. So we had to stop at the friends house. When we got there, one met us at the door wearing a chefs hat welcoming him to the (some made up name) restaurant. I went through the part of saying we had reservations and we were led to a card table they set up in the middle of the living room with tablecloth and candles and a home made menu. He got his choice of meals listed their, like 3 choices cus they made 3 different things and whatever he didn't order, the rest of us would have. They had some romantic music playing in the background. You'd have to have family or friends family who would be understanding and supportive and agreeable to allow their kids and friends to take over the kitchen making enough for the parents too, allow them to set up the living, dining or a rec room to be a restaurant for event, and have some excuse to stopping by the house or going back to your own house. It's silly but it made good romantic memories.
Does she ever in conversation mention a movie that she really likes, an actor or actress, a favorite album or song? If you're great at singing, sing her a favorite song, or play the song and lip sync to her favorite song. You've heard how couples have a song that is "their song" cus whenever they hear it, they think of each other? Find such a song that makes you think of her, it may not end up "your couple song but I'll bet she'll find it special that you cared to share it with her. Theres nothing more romantic than a guy sharing his feelings for his girl with the aid of music. So whether you take her with a boom box to the park with a packed up picnic or whether you invite her over, ask her to put her prettiest dress for the date (show up in your room or the rec room, and you dress up as much as you can, shirt and tie. Have a fizzy non alchoholic drink in wineglasses and snacks and first play the song she likes and sing or lip sync to it. Then explain to her that there is a song that when you hear it makes you think of her. Hopefully its a cool love song. Memorize the words, print them out to hand to her and hit the play button and sing it to her. Play it again this time taking her into your arms to dance to it and then dance to more songs. Have time to sit and drink and have refreshments and dance some more. It may work really well if a friend of yours with a girl friend showed up a bit later, timed so you have the private songs with her first, or a girlfreind of hers and her boyfriend so there several couples dancing and chatting the rest of the night. It doesnt need to be totally alone time to be romantic and special.
For fair weather, I'd go for a picnic, just tell her your going on a bike ride together. Have a back pack on with dollar store tablecloth, picnic ware, some cans of pop and whatever you've gotten to bring to eat. and a blanket. If the park or place you take her to has a picnic table, you can do that but the blanket on the ground is a bit more romantic cus you can lay there and cuddle. Bring a book of poetry you rent from the library or borrow from a friend and while you lay on the blanket after your bike ride and picnic, pull this out of the bag and read aloud to her some romantic poetry. If she hates poetry, I am sure you can figure out a book she'll enjoy hearing you read aloud to her. If you buy her a book by a favorite author... you can give her the book as a gift to take home and finish reading. You may have to really give it some thought but somethings you can do on your own and others will need help of friends and family. Once you get used to how easy it is to come up with an idea, you'll see that half the battle, then ask others for help in bringing together the details, I know that a mom, or older sister may be happy to help.

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I am Male mid 20's
She is female mid 20's
Her friend is Male 30's I think???

First of all I am not a guy that is getting jealous about my girl texting other guys. It is just a very strange scenario. I will explain it a little bit.
1. She usually hangs out with the guy, his wife and kids. They are basically family friends, all good I get it.
2. When the wife and kids leave town and he stays because of work, she goes over there because he does not like to be alone.
3. Whenever we hang out, they usually text frequently unless we are on a date out of respect. Totally fine with it.
4. However, when she is over there. Especially on those weekends when the wife and kids leave town. Her replies to me are virtually none at all. Maybe 1 every 2-3 hours if any at all. (again totally fine but kinda of sketchy when looking at number 2&3.

Again, I totally love her and am not super jealous easily. I really have not gotten paranoid about this at all. She is super open about. She is the one who tells me she is going to hang out with him because he is home alone, when she could totally lie about it. I don't get pissy or mopey and try to make her feel bad about going over there because I trust her.

However it is slightly concerning to me, I just want other peoples feed back.

Am I just being paranoid and should not worry?
Or should I lay some rules down about this whole thing with her going over there alone with just those two. I would honestly say the most concerning thing to me is how she texts him when we hang and texts me when she is over there and the family is all there, but does not reply when it is just him and her there alone. I don't know, I don't want to start assuming anything but it is a strange situation. Any help would be awesome!

I wonder exactly how regularly this is occurring that his wife and kids leave on the weekends. I can't say how much is too much but it sure looks odd to me that a wife is leaving home every weekend she can...maybe to visit relatives. When you get married, usually you spend more time with the spouse on weekends than parents and siblings even if you are close family. Does he work out of home and require peace and quiet so they leave, or does she leave for other reasons not related to wanting to see the family, such as marital issues? You don't know and I cant begin to guess. You don't know the guy.

You said the excuse or reason she goes to see him when he is alone is simply cus he doesnt like being alone. Big whoop de do! Aw...Poor 30 yr old baby. Time he grows up! My daughter had a Navy husband and had to get used to being alone for great chunks of time. If this guy can't handle a weekend alone, the issue may be that he has a phobia...a fear of being alone that he has not addressed or gone to see a Dr. about. If he is just feeling lonely, how come he can't handle two days alone? Lots of us have to face more than that alone and still keep our focus on our partners as our priority.

While the age spread isn't a big thing, there is a brain issue that is. It is a well documented fact that the pre-frontal cortex of our brains aren't fully done developing until we hit our mid 20s at least. Before then, we are prone to not make the very best judgements and decisions and think things through. So I ask, what is a 30 yr old or older married man who should mentally know better by now, doing inviting over a 20 year old to keep him company just because the poor lonely married man is "lonely?" A couple hundred years ago, A married man being alone in the presence of an unmarried female would be not be considered a gentleman, he'd be a terrible scoundrel to be avoided and develop a bad reputation for himself as well as ruining reputation of the unmarried young women.
Even if he had nothing but pure intentions, a man would at least care enough about the reputation of the young lady to not do anything to place her in such a position of question-ability.
This all leads me to believe this man isn't thinking first of your girlfriends reputation or how it will look to others. I am prone to believe he is thinking more about himself. Even if he has never asked her to come over, and she volunteered, he should still be giving consideration to how it looks.

So why does it have to be her going over? Why can't he be the one to leave his house and go elsewhere? And why does it have to be just her. Does he have no one else who can be company for him when the family is away. Haha, if he really misses the family all that much, then he'd find a way to spend more time together with them now, despite his job, wouldn't he? If he misses his wife that much by the end of Saturday, why isn't he on the phone to talk to her instead of calling your girlfriend or having her over to visit. I say theres a possibility that something isn't quite right with the marriage. That they have issues which they may or may not have even addressed. Your girlfriend may not be experienced enough in life yet to be able to see or spot these possible issues if they were staring her in the face.
If he were lonely, didn't anyone think that a long phone call chatting should take care of it? I have had a bored or lonely friend, male or female call me before, but they don't expect me, a married woman to leave my husband alone to come keep them company.
So we've got a man who doesnt even think about her reputation and has a fear of being alone or doesnt like being alone and has no other friends he can hang with. Makes me think there is something very questionable and weird about him. Also, he may possibly be a worka holic on top of it all because he works weekends, thats if he works M-F also and has no time off during the week.

But apparently you've never met and know nothing about him, right? So all guesses on my part and yours are just wild guesses until you meet and can determine for yourself if there are any problems with the guy. So what you could do is tell the girlfriend that you'd like to meet her friends, go over sometime to meet the family, find out what he does for work if he works from home. Do they have a lot of friends. Just get a feel for him. If something doesnt add up, discuss it later with the girlfriend. But you can't really say anything if you dont know the guy. Once you've met, then next time she says she's going to visit just him, tell her to invite him over or better yet invite him yourself.

If he continually turns you down in favor of the company of your girlfriend at his house, then it's not a matter of him having problems being alone cus he wouldn't be alone if hanging out with the both of you, its him wanting just her alone which could mean he doesnt like your company at all, can't stand you as a person or he's having an affair with the girlfriend.

Neither of you discussed this beforehand or laid any ground rules. Too late to do so now just because you don't like the texting pattern change.
I will say that spending time visiting is one thing, but constant texting or calling and talking with him during the week is a bit overboard. Perhaps as a female, she is enjoying soaking up the attention from another male. I have 3 daughters ranging from 22 to 28. They all have a boyfriend. Some of their girlfriends are married. None of them have any separate contact with the husbands of the girlfriends even if they now consider those husbands to be friends of theirs.
They are crazy about their boyfriends and it would be pretty rude to consistantly talk to others, anyone other than the boyfriend they are with...thats how they see it. Even if its me calling and they've promised focused time with the boyfriend, my daughters will ask me to call later and give a time or promise to call me later or tomorrow. They have their priorities straight, meaning they give their full attention to the person they are with, the guy they tell me is very special to them. If you were that special to her, I would think you could expect at least a little more attention and focus from your girl when you are with her. I guess I am just from another generation, and I consider that rude behavior. And then not to answer you when you try to reach her when she's away? Give it some time, time will tell if she's really that into you or not. She may be open about what she is doing going over there and she may be all innocent in that but taking choosing to take texts or calls consistantly when together with you is a way of showing that the person on the other end of the line is more than the person she is currently with. I am not sayng she can't answer a text or call but to answer saying, hey Danny and I are having some alone time and are waiting for a movie to start we planned to watch on TV, so can you call later or I'll chat with you tomorrow. It may not have occurred to her to do so. You may bring up this issue with her, that when you two are actually doing something together, not on an official date but doing something together at home or when just hanging out together, that you would appreciate if she give priority to you instead of taking time to have a text conversation or phone conversation with other people, no matter who. Don't say that this is only about accepting text/calls from the 30yr old cus its not just about him but her not giving you the same amount of time and priority and attention. This should apply to any person calling, even her mom unless its an emergency or to pass a piece of info quickly.

What counts in the end is that the both of you have a loving healthy relationship. The relationship is in balance, with both of you getting all your needs met from the other and both putting in equal amount of energy into the relationship to make it work. A person can not do that if their attention is divided into too many directions, and priority given or too much time put into other things. I've heard it explained that males tend to have several priorities in life, not just one. Most young women have just the one priority, their guy. Guys on the other hand are doing well if they are juggling the 3 most important ones, giving equal time to each, meaning work or school being one, a girlfriend or wife number two, family or buddies, number three usually. Perhaps she is able to juggle more than just a boyfriend as one of her priorities. It becomes an issue if she lets you slip to 2nd or 3rd priority down on the totem pole and you would have to bring that up with her. What ever has displaced you as a top priority needs to be discussed. If she cannot give you that same status again or you never had it, then you are not as important to her as she is to you....not a good mix for a relationship.

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I was with my boyfriend for 1 year and 7 months so far. We met about every weekend. We talk to each ither through texting everyday. I was just sad about my college rejections and needed some comfort from him. We've had a long history together and we helped each other through many difficult times while we were together. In the first year we always had time to hang out with each other talk to each other with some kissing and mild sexual contact involved. It was just the three moneths wen we got back together was when we had taken a step further and went to third base. and we id that for the 3 months except for those two times. We have had deep conversations which id pour out my feelings and calmly wait for his answers to my questions before. He had answered it with a bit of anger though when i asked too many questions or hed say that he doesnt know. usually on a daily basis we talk about our day and what we are doing and usually jokes and such just normal things. we were at the point where we were comfortable with each other and that we knew each other well.

Thanks for the info. Yes, you were long enough together that it shouldn't be a trivial thing. If its a behavior of yours, it would've gotten to him long before this last break. So I must assume nothing has changed in your behavior. It's something going on inside of him.
When you say You poured out your feelings, I dont know what the topic was so I cannot make assumptions but if you mentioned about how deep your feelings are for him, and it clicked off something in his mind that alerted him how serious the relationship was getting, he may not have been ready himself to look at how he felt. Perhaps he enjoyed lighter topics and nothing of really any depth of if you did start talking anything of depth including future dreams, hopes goals, maybe even his spiritual beliefs, and he wasn't ready to start thinking about that, just wanting to remain oblivious but enjoy life, then a person could easily be made to feel uncomfortable or even react in anger, anger that seems directed at you but it is actually anger because they were put in a position of having to acknowledge their feelings or to come up with what their beliefs or goals in life are when he may yet not want to have any.
When dealing with someone like this, pushing them harder to respond will make them shut down. It is best to give them the space they require and as much time as they need to sort out what they believe and what they feel. I dated after a divorce in my forties. Met a guy with whom the attraction seemed to flow fast and other than kisses, it wasnt even sexual yet but doing stuff like spending our entire Saturday together and seeing each other every day after work so that after 3 weeks of that, he spooked at the intensity of the relationship and asked me not to come by that weekend, asked to take a week off from seeing each other. I didn't have to ask, I know i could ask him after he'd had some time to sort out his thoughts. Halfway through the week I got a text, it was all the time he needed, and he asked to see me after work. In person told me he was afraid I wouldn't want to see him cus I'd be hurt. I wasn't, I knew he needed to sort things out. Some guys go through it well and decide the relationship isn't that scary after all and they miss you as my guy said to me, he missed me and couldn't wait until after next weekend to see me again. What worked was a handful of days for him but may take weeks or months for another guy. And then there are always a few who are not mature enough to realize there is nothing scary in the relationship and they keep on running away rather than stop running and face all those new things that they are unsure about.

Since he is not answering your questions, he needs time to sort things out in his mind and males can only do that without the female around, especially if its about her. Its how guys process their thoughts and feelings. They need time to be left alone. Those who don't take the time to think things out but get immediately involved in other projects or a new person, are just running from their feelings. Someone like this isn't ready to commit to a dating relationship or anything else. If he's about your age, then he's still young enough to not really know what he wants yet. Humans brains as far as making good decisions and plans for the future are concerned, dont finishing developing until our mid twenties so he has some time to go before he may be mature enough for any kind of relationship with a girl. I have watched on line male relationship experts discuss how they wished they were more mature in their early twenties because they did so many things wrong and hurt so many girls. Hindsight doesnt help them now because too much time has passed and the females found someone else and yet they can't stop thinking of the girls they now know they were crazy about but did the stupid things instead. You can't force him to grow up. All you can do is give him the space he needs. Stop questioning him or attempting to talk to him or see him. Make yourself not available for any type of sexual gratification, that is a benefit that comes only with a bonafide relationship which he is possibly running from. I am guessing of course but with what else you said, i cant think of what else it would be...other than he is just running away scared. Whether he needs just a little time before he returns, a lot of time or never returns is up to where he is at in personal growth. Age 18 may mean he's adult in eyes of the law but we don't become an adult overnight like flicking on a light switch. It is a process we all go through learning more with each year if we are not fighting the learning experiences or turning and running from them. The runners you will see today are 40 and 50 year old men who are still alone, never grew up, act like a spoiled little kid, think the world revolved around them and don't know how to have a healthy relationship with a woman. It is unfortunate but it does happen. He was to chicken to ask for time to clear his mind and think things out. Most young guys only think that females will over react, cry, blame him, accuse, act guilty, ask too many questions, etc.. all which and they know they can't handle that so they look for a plausible excuse to get a break away from her or break it off totally as was the case with him first time. Second time it was supposedly cus you were stressed and he couldn't handle that. He needs time to figure things out. I can't say at this stage whether he cares about you but hasn't sorted out his feelings yet or what. Only time will tell. It will hurt and wont be easy for you, but you need to give him space. Act like he wasn't the only priority in your life. The girls who do, scare away the guy. Guys have several top priorities in life which can be a mix of things and can change as that right girl comes into their life. Tops for a guy, job, school, buddies, family, sports team they may be on, girlfriend. After college, its usually job, wife and family and everything falls to a lesser priority. Its part of growing up. When a guy gets to a point of realizing how important a girl is but he can't quite bring himself to drop one of his other priorities and make her one of his, then he's not really ready. I don't know how long he'll take or if he'll come back to you. So go on with life for now without him, make an decisions you need to such as finding a job even if just for this summer before making any future plans. Don't let the unsettled ness of your relationship hold you back from making any plans.
If he does come back, don't take him back so eagerly and be like "I missed you so badly, I am so glad youve come back, I hope you never leave again." That smacks of a desperate female who needs a guy to complete her which is a turn off for many guys. And all those comments are all about you and your feelings. Don't even bring up your feelings first. Ask him how he is doing. Ask what he's been doing while gone and work up to the important part, "Why are you back in my life?" Find out what is driving him to come back after leaving twice. If he is lying to himself or not being honest with himself, it may take someone like a psychologist to spot whats going on and ask him the right questions, or at the very least, someone like me with more life experience. I knew as little as you do at your age. So if he can not explain why he ran off, or if he puts the blame on you and things you said and did, he is a confused young puppy not ready for a relationship still. If he brings up that you aren't perfect and points out flaws, no matter how you miss him you have to be strong and draw the line which means you ask, "Well, If I have such problems that create issues for a relationship, then why are you coming back to see me. If I am so flawed, why do you come back. Have you ever considered that no human is perfect. That we all have things about us that may not be perfect. And that it is really how YOU choose to deal with those things internally and how you respond that is more important than me changing something about me that may not even need changing. You need to be able to communicate to me at a deeper level. Dont' give bullshit excuses. If you are afraid to tell me what the issue is cus you are afraid of my reactions, then tell me so. I can respect that and wont think less of you. But to lie to me, make excuses and lie to yourself isn't going to solve things.

If all he will say is that he missed you:

You say you missed me. Thats nice. People miss all sorts of things. It doesnt mean anything. I miss the beach and cant wait til summer to go lay on the beach again. But I am coping just fine at the moment without the beach. So just missing me isn't a good enough reason for you to come back and for me to allow you into my life. Better think that one out some more.

If he changes tactics and says he loves you don't make it easy for him and collapse in utter joy cus you heard those 3 words I love you. Here's what you say instead:

You say you love me. So does that mean you really like some things about my personality? Thats great, I'm glad to hear it. Theres things I like a lot about my girlfriends personalities but I am not looking to be in a significant relationship with them. Or you mean you love me like I love a particular flavor icecream, thats showing preferance for one over another. So if you had your preferance over who to spend your time with, it would be me. Hmmm, that's not special enough for me. I haven't heard anything from you yet to convince me to go back into a relationship with you. Maybe you haven't figured out what you are looking for yet, what you want to be able to give to a relationship and what you are looking to get out of it. Please don't waste my time. I care about you deeply but not enough to let you waste my time just spinning wheels and going no where.


You girl are going to have to have a list of what you want out of a relationship, what you will not tolerate in a relationship and be willing to stick to it. I literaly mean making a list and refine it over time. I never thought of doing that until after my divorce, God got through to me and told me to make such a list so He could prove to me that he can bring me the right guy. I made a list of must haves and then the wants like brunette as a preference over blonde, long haired over short, etc.. But something important like being communicative, easy going, doesnt get angry or lose control of emotions, etc..where must haves for me coming out of a bad marriage of abuse. So...once you know what you want you can have a talk with him if he does come back again and ask if he'd like to know what you are looking for in a guy, and you will take nothing less than this. Then show him or give him your list. I put mine in a dating profile. Got a few guys who were upset and said my expectations were too high. Who says? I am the one to determine what is reasonable for me. You too. Dont let a guy tell you that you expect too much...they just are too lazy to live up to and meet those requirements is whats going on. If your guys tells you the same,, that he can't be that guy, then tell him you are sorry to hear that, and as much as it hurts, it would be going backwards, or letting down your standard to settle for less by getting back with him. If you reject him this way....this may be just the thing to make him decide to grow up and begin to try to be a man as he nurses his wounds.
And if he comes back again, always be welcoming and friendly and willing to listen to him, cus you never know when he may have finally grown up.

If I were you, i would begin to write out my feelings...not meant to really share with him but more for you to go back over every couple days or once a week until you are able to discover for yourself what you really want and/or discover if perhaps you have some growing up to do in on your side too. Good luck dear. I personally dont think its over yet. But theres some rough road ahead that you need to be strong and firm for to be successful no matter what the end result. The end goal is to learn to recognize and find the kind of guy who will become your life long partner. It may take several relationships of learning in each one and each will be special and there will be wonderful loving feelings in each one but they may only be steps on your way to the right lifelong mate. So dont be afraid to experiment and see if my tactics work. According to what I have learned from relationship experts...these are important factors to stick with if you are to get anywhere good in relationships. Good luck!

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I work with a guy that comes to work drinking starts complaining and making facial expression at me no matter what I do or don't do....I do what I am suppose to do he has his own work to do but feels if we are not helping him....we are goofing off....we are only obliged to help him if nothing else is on the table....I also have other duties now which he seems to resent and complains about me and rolls his eyes....from what I understand it is a form of bullying should I come right out and ask him what his problem is? I do my fair share he would like everyone else to do his work....he only likes you if you do he is very childish and when hes not there everyone comments on how nice the employee morale is.

This sounds like something that needs to be taken up with your boss, the people who hired him. Perhaps the manager or boss is not on location enough and active enough in the goings on of his company or department and that can cause problems. Find out if others have issues with him too that are affecting their ability to do their work or at least affect everyones morale. And a group of you should approach the manager/supervisor together. It carries more weight than just one complaining.
For the most part, I would say to learn to develop a tough hide and just ignore his facial gestures and his comments. If I were you, I wouldn't be worried about such a person liking me or not.
Does he pester other coworkers the same as you? When complaining about you, is he just griping to you about how you treat him or to other co workers,or is he going to speak to the boss about it? If he is doing so while drunk complaining to the boss to try to put you in a bad light now it's personal, he's is trying on purpose to make you look bad. What we don't know is if the boss is ignoring what he says, just as he/she is ignoring that the employee is coming in drunk every day. If your boss doesnt care one way or the other, thats where your problem really is and the only thing that may get the boss to take things seriously and do his/her job is to have to whole lot of you make your specific complaints together. I feel this is better than trying to talk to someone to find out "what their problem is", all companies have policies that you don't bring problems from 'home or personal life' to work because it can and will affect your ability to work. There is nothing you or your co workers can say to such a person unless you have to have degree's in counseling or mental health or such and even then, this is not the setting where he should be undergoing therapy or counseling for his issues, that should be done on his own time outside of work. It is not the bosses job to become his counselor and fix him either, only restate the rules and warn him. If he can't comply and get a grip on his life, then he's out the door with them having all legal rights to do so.
I have seen a previous boss having to go through firing an employee (female) who wasn't carrying her load. None of us approached her, just went to the boss with our suspicions. She did minimal work and spent her time surfing the net all day. Everytime someone approached her desk, they noticed her switching screens quickly. The boss did a check on how many files she completed per day and saw it fell far below what the others did. When she had left for the day, the boss checked her trash can of her computer...the old days when there wasn't any 'tracking' software yet, and found lots of sites that she had visited that were obviously not work related.
It is best to go through the channels and approach ones boss. Although, I do know of one supervisor (male) of a department whom all employees had caught glimpses of his on dating or porn sites instead of active in the goings on of his department. In this case, employees having a boss who was the problem, banded together as a group to approach the president and owner of the company which resulted in that manager being fired shortly after. I can't say what your situation is exactly as far as sexuall harassment but there is definitely the slacking issue of not carrying his weight and that most certainly can be brought up as well as suspicions that he is very drunk every day. It would be good to have the employee go through drug and alcohol testing. It could be that he has some medical problem other than being drunk that causes him to appear that way. I believe I have heard of such things, people appearing to be drunk and not behaving quite normally due to a disease they have that causes these symptoms and behaviors. If such a person were still able to do their fair share of work despite erratic behaviors, then it shouldnt be a problem, and everyone comes to know that this is just a part of who they are and they can't help it. However, that is not the case here, is it? He is not doing the work. And all of you have a right to complain about it.

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my boyfriend whi broke up with me for about 3 months. Then we got back together in january and for 3 months we were fine. Almost everytime we got to see each other in person, we always did something sexual together not reaching the point to sex though. We had teo times where we hung out and actually talked and had fun just talking. I made him laugh multiple times and he did the same towards me. But last tuesday he broke up with me. Ir started with a fight on sunday about how i was so depressed and hurt from the rejection to my favorte colleges and he did not comfort me through it. Then i ifnored him for two days when he told me that i should get over it aince im the one making myself feel this pain. Then on tuesday he told me that he couldnt handle it anymore. That we havent been working out if i havent noticed and that he feels like hes falling out if love with me everyday but he still convinces himself that he still is in love with me. He talked to his friends baout the things we do and his friends told him that we wouldnt work out since the reason he got back with me wasnt strong enough. Then he told me that he feels like hes with me for my happiness not his. I believe that he made this decision under his friends influences and that he shoul have talked to be about this problem of not bonding. I talked to him on te phone however and when i ask him aboit if he had fun the two times we actually hung out he never answers and when i ask him for his reason to get back with me he says that it was because he thought we could work out. And recently yesterday i messaged him if we could talk things out a bit in person so i can see his true emotions. Then he said that hes a pushover when he sees desperate people in front of him. And then he told me "How about no. You already have begun to "clear off all the bs on the walls" so i'm beginning to clear off the bs in my life. Leave me alone with that shit. Theres no chance anymore so get over it. " and his quotes are from a snapchat that i added onto my story so i know that he is still looking at my things because i didnt send that snapchat to him specificallly. Well i dont know what I should ddo. Please help tell me ahat i should di and confirm my theories also.

There are pieces that are missing in information, like how long you guys were together before the breakup in Oct-Dec that you mention first.
I understand you started seeing him again in January and its not quite the end of March. So depending on actually how many weeks, how often did you see each other in those weeks. I only know of the two times you say you hung out to talk and laugh/no sex presumeably or perhaps both when all the rest were times for sexual stuff. Just trying to see a pattern here.
The times are important. For example: If you were able to be together for lets say over a year before the first time you broke up, it shows that there is something to keep you together for a length of time and that something changed in you, him or in both of you in other areas of your life that are affecting your relationship. Stress can affect a relationship.
You sound like you are doing your best to ask him to talk and explain. And he won't. That is never good in a relationship. Conversing truthfully and openly is important. With out it, the relationship has lots of problems or ceases to exist.
I also do not know if his behavior has always been to never really have deep conversations with you in all this time. If a guy is crazy about a girl in ways other than romantically and sexually, he is going to want to know all he can about her, so taking the time only twice in a relationship where you have been actively together 4 months total, 5, 8, 12???? is a sign that something is wrong. He does not have that deep an attraction to you if this is the case. See I am guessing here on all aspects so this can and will be very long. If you guys do talk regularly, you didn't say. Even if short, what is the topic of conversation? Obviously you talked more often than twice in depth, if he heard from you of rejections from colleges. What did you talk about? What it really only college rejections? If you never took time to ask about what he likes and get to know him better, and he never took time to ask you, your interest level in each other truly wasnt there because you each had deep feelings for the other person in areas only related to physical attraction, not inner attraction. I would have to say that laughing and talking on two occasions does not indicate that there is enough in common to support a full fledged "Best Friends" relationship with 'sexual attraction' as the icing on the cake. I have many times met guys that all went well for a couple conversations, but once we were done with those, though we were attracted sexually, as we spent more time with each other, the level of interest and feeling of things in common dropped off. I have experienced New Relationship Energy with every new guy I came across. It that exciting feeling of cant wait to see them, you feel all jittery in your heart and nerves and notice every little gesture, every look, every word seems so special when directed at you. You feel so special that a male is attracted to you and wants you that it makes your head feel like its in the cloud and your heart feel light. But these feelings will fade and disappear in time and if there is nothing else to support the feelings of wanting to be in the relationship, then it collapses. This may be what is happening to you. I will admit that NRE always 'Feels' like the right thing...but it is not.
So can I describe what the right thing is? Hmmm well you must have a couple of close or at least one girlfriend with whom you can share anything right? let me describe it in case you're not sure: A best friend is someone who is the best companionship no matter what you are doing. If both of you are just running a chore like shopping for Mothers day gifts together, the whole experience is more fun just because they are there. In comparison, shopping is not as fun when others go with you. (Insert the situation you need to get the picture) This friend has seen you on your best days, and seen you on your worst days, when you were really mad/angry, sad and hurting and none of it scared your friend away. They wanted to be there for you on the not so good days and cheer you up, support your dreams, encourage you when the chips are down so to speak.(like college rejections)

All girlfriends that were real close treated me that way. If you have never had even a girlfriend that close, then that could be your problem, you have nothing to compare to then when it comes to a relationship with a guy. With a guy, the right guy anyways, there are 2 things important to make it work, the closest best friend ever, and the sexual attraction. The cake is the best friend, the sex is the frosting on the cake. A pile of frosting on your plate with no cake is nothing but tons of sugar which tastes so sweet and wonderful but before long, it will make you hurt in the tummy region if all you are getting is pure sugar. Many relationships are like this, based mostly on the sexual attraction but there is no cake of deep friendship to support that frosting.

Next we have people who have cake but no frosting. The sweetness present in the cake mix is enough for their tongue to detect it, however without the frosting, the cake kinda dry. And so is the relationship, it is dry lacking that frosting that changes it from best friends to lovers who are best friends. They assume the little sweetness they detect in the cake minus frosting is the equivalent of frosting or sexual attraction but it is not. These people merely become roommate with no sex life. Some see the frosting on other cakes and want it and have affairs going after the frosting elsewhere.

Lastly we have cake with frosting....the perfect blend for a healthy long term, long lasting relationship. The relationship is SOOOO wonderful, that you marvel at how is it you're so lucky that you get to have cake, every day for the rest of your life. This translates to two best friends who are also lovers who say to each other, how did I get so lucky to end up with you?

Which one do you think you have with this guy?
I really can't say if you are doing anything wrong to add to the problem of a best friend relationship not forming. Most times it isn't anything we are doing wrong, we simply are wrong for that particular person, and will be perfectly right for someone else.How does this translate to you? I can't say why he still looks at things related to you. Just because he does, doesnt mean he is willing to invest himself into the relationship. Thats like going past the bakery display window, looking at that delicious beautiful cake, but for some reason only internal, you talk yourself out of getting it, you never invest the purchase price to actually buy it. Could be what he is doing. He may realize he isn't willing to spend what it takes to get the whole cake. Using your temporary so called "depression' of rejection letters is a smoke screen, to lead you to take the focus off him onto your self. If you really have a problem with depression, it would have been there all along for probably quite a few years by now and you'd know it. If, just IF you can admit to having the extremes in feelings, instead of more calm and stable, you can always go see a Doctor and get your hormone levels checked, at 17- 18, you are not totally in the clear for not being affected by too high or too low natural hormones levels which will cause erratic emotional behavior in girls, sometimes even guys, and is Way more common than you would think.
Your theories you hint at are not obvious to me so i have spelled out what a healthy relationship should be so you can compare to yours and make that decision for yourself. Either way, if he is unwilling to interact with you whether for a frosting only relationship or a cake with frosting relationship, there is nothing we can ever do to force a person to 'eat cake', meaning to want the relationship, no matter what kind of relationship.

Good luck dear with finding a college. If it doesnt happen, you could work part time and take some of the pre lim courses needed through the local community college while contemplating your future and see if you decide on a different career path which may involve a specialized school, like becoming an LMP, massage therapist, or cutting hair, beauty school, etc....

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i dont have an orgasm at all during sex or with foreplay is there something wronge with me?

It tough without knowing your age. If you are a very young pre- teen it could be you are still growing and not capable of doing so yet, or it could also be if you are in puberty that your hormones may be too low.
All the reasons and info given by Advice man is also correct and are possibilities.

Since you mention foreplay, you obviously have a boyfriend/sex partner. What I do not know is if this is your first or not. If sex is all new to you, psychologically if a person is a bit afraid or uptight because of their lack of experience yet, that can be enough to affect your ability to have an orgasm. If you have had a couple different sex partners by now (and assuming they know what to do to get a lady to orgasm) and you still have no success, it could be that none of them so far have been the right partner sexually as far as a pheremone connection. I have had enough experience to tell the difference, in fact as I got older, I could already tell by a kiss and how it felt to be close, hugging, without having to have sex it we had that special ingrediant or not. Same techniques and knowledge from a guy who is a great lover can just fall flat if that special spark isnt there. Some people think they feel it, but it wears off quickly because it was just a temporary thing felt called new relationship energy.
I have watched many documentairies and read much material on the subject of women unable to orgasm. In all I have come across, the professionals say that "all" women should be able to orgasm. Our brain is our largest sex organ and that has some effect on whether we are able to or not. I recently came across a piece of info where I forget the exact number but the fact was that the tiny little button called a clitoris has thousands upon thousands of nerve endings concentrated all in that one little spot whereas the head of the penis, the shaft and balls combined don't come anywhere near the amount. Its a matter of discovering what exact type of stimulation, how much pressure and speed will do it for you. The same goes for G spot orgasm.
Almost all women never have the clit or g spot orgasm during sex because the two areas of both partners do not come into the proper contact let alone pressure and speed to bring on an orgasm. So don't worry about that. Its just a matter of both of you discovering exactly what will work for you. The University of Oregon put out a great informative video series on orgasms from the medical perspective, taught to med students and it has great models of the reproductive system of the female and explains exactly what happens physiologically to a person in the process of an orgasm. I think it may be a little helpful. If working on it with what you learn from videos or books doesn't help, you may then want to speak to a sex therapist. Here's #4 of 9 parts, you can go back and watch all the others but 4 & 5 were the most important ones to me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVL_GudwAOI

good luck dear.

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I am 15 male and i'm a devout christian i've never had a girlfriend i'm not sure if i'm ready yet that may sound strange to some teenagers of today but i want to wait to find the right girl someone who has similiar beliefs i want to continue to devote my life to god and wait for the right girl there's nothing wrong with waiting till you are older?

Well hon....you didn't exactly ask a question. So I have to guess here that perhaps you want our opinions on whether or not we feel it's okay to wait until older to date a girl.
Yes, it's perfectly fine to wait until older. I know there are teens Christian and not, who will not date in High school and wait until they graduate. They all have their own reasons which include yours for one, and others, they see nothing but a bunch of drama and immature kids dating and breaking up changing girlfriends/boyfriends almost as often as one changes socks.

Have you given thought to if you are "waiting" for the right girl, how you will know if she is the "right" girl? Hopefully the fact that she is also a Christian isn't the only requirement. Because...frankly, that is not enough.

I have seen so many couples in the church marry where that was their only requirement. They never spent the time to get to know if they had anything else in common.

Lets put it this way: You are not bestfriends with every guy at church, friendly towards them yes but not bestfriends. And why? Because there is something special beyond the fact that you both believe in Jesus, you have things in common, a commaraderie, a real deep care for how the other is doing, you like each others humor and making each other laugh and have fun, and being there for your best friends when they are having a rough time, giving your support, and have lots of interests in common.

All this and more is the same when it comes to the person you want to wait to marry. However, because we're talking about the opposite sex here, you get an added bonus, you will be able to make love to that someone special.
Just be sure before you marry, even though you don't have sex, that both of you feel great desire and passion for each other. Why? Because I saw 2 marriages annulled in my church, because when the story got out, they had never kissed or even held hands before their wedding day. Many others tried by sheer willpower to make it work but there wasn't any attraction and none ever developed. I know soo many couples with kids who after having a couple kids, never had sex for the rest of their life. I was mismatched sexually also with my ex. Stayed 30 years before I left.

The sexual union is just as important as being a match emotionally as friends, and spiritually as believers...trust me on this. Blessings to you for your future.

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i need to know what the word " tapout " means because when i was at school my teacher was singing the word " tapout" i need to know what it means because everyone's singing it now!!!

If tapout is slang for something else, it is new enough to not be recognised by dictionaries yet. Even Wikipedia doesnt have much.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tapout

I don't think thats what you were looking for. Was this being sung in a song or just singing the one word? If in a song, words are easily distorted and mis-heard by people, it could be a totally different word. If teacher is singing the one word over and over, perhaps it is something she explained and started on a day you were missing from school and thats why you are not in on the loop knowing what it means.
If I were you, I'd wait to catch the teacher when your classmates aren't around to hear so you don't feel embarassed for not knowing, and tell her/him what you think you are hearing and ask if thats want sh/he is saying. She/He can say yes, or if no, then ask what she/he really is saying if teacher doesnt volunteer the info and then ask what it means if you still don't know.

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I really like this guy that sit next to me in
My 2nd period.let's say his name is jay.he makes me laugh.he's funny,cute,everything.he flirts with me !!! ( a lot actually ). Sometimes, he said i am his best friend to his's guy friends ( which we aren't). He would touches my hair, makes fun of my name, hugs me tight.last night, he texted me and asked if I'd like to go to the movies ( that time i was at the mall & i was bushing and ppl looked at me like I'm crazy lol).Before i even got to replied his text, he said his girlfriend moved to another state ( he never told me that he has a gf ). It just breaks my heart into pieces. I almost cried 😢 and i said,"not tonight maybe next time ?" And he said," ohh okey it's fine". I also felt like i am his second's option. And I'm afraid to see him on monday ( btw me & him are sophomore )

This is the problem with texting...it's not but bits and pieces of conversation. Like watching a movie where I have the sound controller and I keep turning it on and off and on and off so you hear only every other sentence. The conversation is not going to make sense and any sense you try to make by guessing could be very very wrong.

You jumped to a conclusion. Made you are right and he isn't interested in you to date and never was and only saw you as a friend. Howevever I am almost old enough to be your grandma so I can say from experience that his behavior is definitely the kind from a guy who is crazy about a girl.

When he said "girlfriend" he may have meant an old dating type girlfriend or perhaps he meant a girl who was a friend.
Did you ask him for clarification? You won't know all the details until you ask. Somehow I have a feeling that this Jay fellow has nothing to hide, especially if he volunteers such information to you. Perhaps he was dating this other girl at some point in the past but as soon as they found out she was moving far away, they decided to break things off rather than try to prolong something that really doesnt work well in an LDR.(long distance relationship)
Maybe his announcement was his clumsy way of letting you know that he is definitely single and available and he's now hoping for some sign from you that you are just as crazy about him in return. And unless you ask and get the timing and circumstances, how are you to know that he ever knew and met both of you at the same time so that he chose someone else first over you? What does that matter? Lets put it this way: Lets say you have a chance to date 8 guys before you meet the guy you marry. In fact, lets say that you meet his best friend first and you and that guy realize you are not the best match and decide to break up and then after, you somehow meet or are introduced to future husband. And he's perfect for you. Do you want him to reject you simply on the grounds that you had a chance to date his friend first? That's a bunch of silly hogwash!

On Monday, don't avoid him. Make sure you can a chance to talk ASAP!
There is no reason why you can't swallow your pride and actually admit to him your reaction to what he texted and what it made you think. At least he'll know he's not that good at communicating things to you. And that gives him the chance to then explain things and give you the facts.
Use your own words but for a basic idea of what to say here goes:
Jay, when you asked me to go to a movie and your next text was that your girlfriends was moving out of state, I reacted in confusion and shock and didn't know what to think, I needed some time so I said no. The reason I am so confused is because though you tell your friends that I am your best friend, the way you flirt and treat me and pay attention is not the way a guy treats a friend or best friend. You are sending me signals that you are sweet on me, attracted to me and want me to be your girlfriend. Then you say you have one but she's moving. So I need to know if you were just kidding around with me and you were never serious...in which case...thats a rotten thing to do
or if you are the kind of guy who is a player, dating several gals at the same time, never making a real commitment to one, cus thats also a rotten thing to do.
I don't have enough information to come to a good conclusion....so how about filling me in on what I am missing here, and then I will decide if I am still attracted to you or not.

If put that way, he should want to be able to explain to you if he's really interested and doest want to lose you and that last part tells him that you have been attracted to him too.

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Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years now and have an 8 month old son together. Up until a month before our son was born we had a good sex life and were having sex a lot. After our son was born we started bearly having sex about once a month. Now he gets all mad when I try to have sex with him and tells me no. He doesn't even want me to see him naked or touch his private area. I feel like we are little kids. Please tell me why you think he doesn't wanna have sex with me. It is really hurting me.

It can be that he is having psychological issues. Some men do after their wife or partner gives birth.
What happens is that now that there is a baby around needing lots of attention, they are no longer able to see her as a sex object, only as a mother and that will kill the sex drive. Perhaps seeing you be mother to your child reminds him of his own mother and very few guys think of their mom as a sex object.
Sometimes women after giving birth lose some of their drive for a while or with the demands of the baby find less time to take care of themselves and dress up and try to seduce their partner.
Since he is having trouble seeing you as both sex partner and mother, all in one, he is the one needing some professional counseling to get over it.
As Adviceman said, you are not married so you are currently in a precarious position as far as him legally being responsible for the childs care. Also not being married to you may play into what level of importance the boyfriend will put into the relationship, to work towards saving it, who knows. He may not being willing to go for counseling. I will bet he still has sexual needs, just no longer interested in a "mother". Thats his issue, not yours. Don't take it personally, its not you, it's him. However, this could mean that he will be going to get his sexual needs met elsewhere and things can only get worse from there. I also vote for going to see a lawyer and make sure that he is legally responsible for the welfare of his child, even if he can't see in his mind the mother of his child as a still sexy and desirable.

Just so you don't start to think all guys are like this, on the opposite hand, there are men who find women irrisistable when they are pregnant and afterwards. I have a husband who says he can tell by looking at a nude womans body which one has had a baby or not, other than weight gain, there are subtle difference to the shape of her breast and belly that he finds very attractive, more so than the female who's never given birth. And I know also from what I've read and heard that he's not the only one...many men find the fact that their woman is now a mother to be sexually stimulating, sometimes even more so if she is breastfeeding. These kinds of men will be so turned on by taking milk from their wifes breast to help out when she is engorged because the babe is going through a sleeping phrase. Nothing will release the milk from rock hard, painful engorged breast except the sucking motion. Having to share the breasts with a baby is a turn on for some men, and a turn off for others.

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My best friends sister boyfriend keeps hitting on me , asking me for kisses and stuff idk what to do should I tell my best friend but she'll tell her sister & shes just gonna argue with him then take him back then Ima be uncomfortable going to her house being around him , what should I do ?

I agree you should tell the best friend and her sister but first,if you haven't actually told him to stop, you haven't given him a chance to comply...so say something if you haven't. Silently trying to pretend you didn't hear, or ignore a person like that doesn't work well because it sends a subtle message to the offender that the person they are picking on is confused, not sure what to do, and can probably be pressured to do something they don't want cus they are too meek, quiet or wimpy. Even saying a gentle "Please stop." while feeling uncomfortable or awkward may not help.
You need to be sure in your mind that his behavior is very WRONG and have no doubt about it because you are going to tell him so, in your own words.
If the bestfriends sister decided to break up with him tomorrow, would you want to date him? If you would date him...then theres the problem...you send out vibes that you like the bad boy type. There's enough girls who do who get taken advantage of sexually, or forced against their will (raped) and pregnant as a teen. If its settled in your mind that this kind of guy is a douche bag and not worth a moment of any girls time ever then then its time to tell him so. Be firm, raise your voice and sound angry, you should be, he wants kisses to start with but end result, he is one of those young teen boys whose raging hormones he is not willing to control but just satisfy all his sexual wants. He doesnt really care about any particular girl just date long enough to get her pressured enough to give him what he wants, to get in her pants. Plus, a guy who would date one girl while going after another is also a cheater, is lying and dishonest to her and the list goes on. Guys who get away with this may grow up to continue to do the same with adult women. An odd one or two may even become rapists. If it was me the guy was coming after, In a firm voice I'd say loud enough for anyone else in the house to hear if they were near, "How dare you ask me to kiss you and let you touch my boobs! You are dating Shelly and she thinks you are interested in her. Well, Mr. Scumbag, you have shown your true colors. You are a dishonest, cheating, teen boy who isn't willing to exercise a little self control like the rest, and wants instead to pressure teen girls into giving you sex. This is sexual harassment. I will be telling my friend and her sister. Whether they believe me is up to them. However, if you ever dare even look at me as if you are undressing me or even ask such a thing again, I will tell my Dad (if no dad, an uncle or older brother) and my Mom and they will be coming after you for sexually harassing me.
That should put him in his place and hopefully he'll avoid you like the plague. If he does dare to test to see if you mean it, girl...you better do it or he'll see you as someone who can be controlled, talks big but doesnt really mean it and won't expose him for what he is. So it will take some guts if he tests you to complain to some adults. No female should ever have to put up with that, not even teen girls.

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I was wondering... What does it sound like when a guy moans? Cause when I'm kissing my boyfriend he tends to make a sound that sounds almost like a soft whimper... Just wondering...

The sounds that a male or a female make in kissing, or in the midst of passion or making love will vary with each person. What is normal for your guy may be entirely different sounds from another guy.

I am grandma age and have had opportunity in my life to have enough different romance and sex partners to have heard it all.

Even with myself, I have discovered I made different sounds depending on the guy I was with at the time.

So all sounds are normal. Both guys and gals can make soft whimpers with a kiss or those 'Mmmm, Mmm sounds you make when some food tastes real good. And others may make no noise at all.

When engaging in activity beyond kissing, the touching and sex, people can make quite a range of sounds, or none at all. So quiet, or average sounds like moans as if in pain, or louder groans, or even shouts and yelling are possible. Others add in short word sounds like, "Ahh, "Ohh..." or the most commonly used, "Oh my God!"
I have a husband who with orgasm will toss his head back and roar like a lion, like that lion that roars at the beginning of a movie....just like that. And I once discovered from the comment of a female neighbor in the apartment building across from us, that she hears him all the time. He's loud enough sometimes to be heard through the walls.
Just keep in mind that your partner does not have to make a certain sound to be an indicator of how much he is enjoying this. He may make no sound at all and yet be enjoying it very much.


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I think I've hallucinated a couple times before, but I wasn't scared or anything. This one time I thought I saw dirt on my friends leg, so she spent some time trying to find it. Eventually, she found nothing, and when I looked again I found nothing.

I didn't really put that incident in mind though. But today I thought I saw this guy go behind a counter, and then I saw another of him outside the shop. I realised the guy outside the shop was the real one.

I get around 6 hours of sleep each day, and I'm usually a little tired. Does lack of sleep or stress make you hallucinate? I have no idea why this is happening, but it hasn't really been that much of a problem. Can someone please help?

Honey we live in a very toxic world today. It's actually amazing that all humans aren't way sicker with more problems. I dont know enough to really help. Perhaps you are on some medication from a doctor and this is a side effect, maybe you take illegal drugs sometimes and this is a side effect, it could be the result of your diet, or a lack of certain nutrients, there could be some issue with your eyes, a vision problem, or there could be some issues with your brain that cause you to see things that aren't there. Not saying that you are a mentally ill person...and either way thats nothing to be afraid of. A good portion of people suffering issues that seem mental can be because of underlying medical issues that need to be addressed. The best way to discover what is causing it, is for you to go see doctors, a vision doctor, if he finds nothing, a general medical doctor, and if he runs tests and nothing is wrong physically, then a mental health specialist. It can be a long process before someone discovers what is the cause of your hallucinations but the end result of getting better is worth it, going through the process of all the testing. You said it only happened a couple times. If it continues to happen more regularly and frequently, then is the time to speak up and get help. As you said, it could have been a lack of sleep or stress or something that is easily fixed if it just happened twice.

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Me & my bf been together 3yrs now iys been anabuise one I got beat everyday but my question was how do I know hes gay say my self he is he says his not but he did things that go that way he only look at guys when he would see a guy walkin down the st he would stand like If he was forzen & I guess he would fanitzie about haveing sex with this person & his dick would get hard he wouldnt have sex with me itz been 3months he says I been actin up thats why he wouldnt have sex with me them he says itz him I said no itz not becuZ he stands in one place like hes stupid doesnt talk nothang just stands ther dreamin awake in hes dick gets hard only when he sees guys I know he has messed arpund Idont have proff but he has all the signs help me what u think it is

Perhaps he is fighting accepting who he is thinking if he tries to deny it, it will go away and yet as you say, you see him get turned on by a guy he's watching...(presumably when there are no other girls around).
It could be that he knows his whole family is homophobic. Or perhaps he has a really religious family and that is not acceptable, they would force him to pray for God to fix him and make him feel guilty for how he is. It isn't easy for young people and teens just figuring out that they are gay and then choosing to lie to themselves.

As a friend, you can have another talk and let him know you support him and understand and accept him as he is as a friend but with his sexual orientation, it won't work for a romantic boyfriend relationship. There must be some qualities that drew you to him. He's still the same friend and what is he going to need is friends for emotional support as he learns to choose his path or deal with the emotional stuff because of it. So stop asking him to have sex with you. Theres a chance in which but He could be Asexual, meaning no sexual attraction to either sex, another type of sexual orientation where the male would not be sexual aroused and wanting to have sex. I don't know your ages. It may also be that you are both very young and he just simply is not ready to go down that road.

You mention getting beat up every day. Yu weren't clear enough for me so i am just guessing that since the topic is about the boyfriend, that he is the one abusing you this way. If so, he needs professional help because if he is gay and is angry about it and letting out his frustrations on you or perhaps others, that is not good. You don't have to be his punching bag. That is not helping him and being supportive to be available to hit, that is allowing yourself to become a victim. So now instead of one person with issues that rob him of a life of joy and wellbeing, we now have two because you allow yourself to be sucked in. Make a stand and tell him about this also, that you won't accept that kind of behavior from him. If this is the only person you ever see and hang with, then you have lost perspective of what a healthy normal friend is like. I'd tell him to go talk to the school counselors so they can put him in touch with professional help. You may have feelings for him but with his sexual orientation that can never be. With his emotional state, you can not even hang around to be a friend until he gets help for that. Friends don't beat up friends...that is wrong.
I figure he probably won't listen to anything you say in which case I would go talk to a school counselor, and tell them what is going on so they can still help him and also you as a female of physical abuse. It is very common among teens that i think its 1 out of 5 or 6 girls is abused by a boyfriend. Just because it happens that often does not make it okay.

I was verbally abused as a wife in my 1st marriage. I knew it was wrong for him to treat me that way and had my excuses for staying, but excuses only mean that in my mind, I was making a choice to remain a victim which doesnt help me or him. The man i finally left, to this day still has issues and has not gotten better, he has mental problems. He still denies there is anything wrong with him and so isn't getting professional mental health with him and so isn't getting professional mental health.

Until your friend is in a frame of mind to be ready to accept that he is gay and that he has anger and other emotional problems because of it, and willing to admit it and accept will, then he will continue to be in this state like my ex. And according to a counseling friend I spoke to, some people can be like that for their entire life and not be willing to seek help, change and get better. Change, even for the better is a scary uncomfortable thing for most humans so we try to avoid it.

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