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Q: ok i have a really close guy friend that i like a lot. and he likes me to and he is always telling how he wants me to be his girlfriend and that he wants to be with me except we wont hook up until we find a way so that we could see each other more often.(he lives 20 minutes away) but anways most of the time when i call him he says i am going to call you back and he NEVER calls back.. what should i think of this? should talk to him and be4 he says anythin be like "if you dont want to talk to me all you have to do is say so" can so one please tell me what to do. i dont want to hurt i just want to know he never calls back.
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Hey, if you just want to know why, just ask him "how come you never call back when you say you will?" Just be upfront. Use a nice tone of voice so he doesn't think you're mad. If you're curious as to whether or not he really wants to talk to you, ask him "do you really want to talk to me? If you don't, it's fine." Or whatever you want.
Just tell him to be honest, and in return you have to be honest with your questions. Don't beat around the bush and try to hint at him what you want to know: Guys are dense (no offense, guys, but a lot of you are), and more often than not we have to be a little more blunt than we'd like to be.
Just ask. No harm can come from a little curiosity. Communication is a BIG thing, especially in boy/girl relationships where there's a little bit of romance involved. Talk to him and let him know what you're thinking, and ask him what you're wondering.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: Well my boyfriend that I am in very much love with has left for a year and half. Though he's coming home I've been really sad and crying ever nite and not getting alot of sleep, because I miss him so much. Does anyone have any advice on how to pass the time or ease the pain of him not being here right now? I rate good!
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Aww, sweetheart...
I know how you feel (sorta). My guy went to Vegas for two months last summer. Not the same time issue, but the same idea.
Don't stay home crying over how much you miss him. It's totally normal and fine to miss him, but don't waste all your time just 'cause you can't see him.
Go out with your friends. Hang out, go shopping, go to movies. Do whatever it takes and let your friends take your mind off your guy.
That's what I did. Also, it gets easier the longer he's away. As long as you can hear his voice and write him you'll be okay. I know it sucks like none other, but he'll be back before you know it. Think about how much he misses you, call him whenever you feel like it (don't worry about bothering him. Chances are he'll be happy to hear your voice).
I just hope you have better timing han I do/did. I kept calling him when he was about to get into the shower, or getting dressed, or something. Lol.
Anyway...There isn't much you can do to ease the pain without passing the time.
I reccomend keeping yourself busy with friends/school/work as much as you can. It doesn't give you much time to think about how much you miss him. If your parents would let you, and you happen to feel craft-y, I reccomend sending him something that reminds him of how much you love him, like a little pillow with your name in it, or a picture of the two of you in a frame with handwritten "I love you" on it. Just something that'll make sure he's thinking of you and that he misses you as much as you miss him. (I did that to my guy and he came home a week early 'cause he missed me too much. Lol)
If you need someone to talk to, vent to, whatever, you can always IM me (SirenCytherea).
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: I like some one allot but he told me the other day he doesnt believe in God. He believes in Jesus just doesnt think he is his son. I told him stuff that can prove he is real. I also told him that, If I believe he is real and he isnt I am not missing out on anything but if he is real and I believe in him I am doing right. but I still dont know what to tell him to make him believe in him. I mean I would really fill good about my self if I can turn some one into the right track. his family believes in him just not him I dont understand. pleaze help
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The belief that Jesus is god's "son" depends completely on the person's religion - it is, in fact, completely Christian (I think), and you can't change what people believe. Only other people can change that. If he wants to believe in Jesus, he can. If not, don't try to make him. Let him believe what he wants - it makes for some interesting debates.
(Seriously, my guy's athiest and I'm a mixture of four religions. It's fascinating to talk about.)
However, if religion is that important to you, maybe you shouldn't be persuing this guy. If he doesn't want to change his beliefs, there won't be much you can do to make him, unless he's willing to change the core of himself to be with you.
There is a way around it, though. Take advantage of the fact that you two have different beliefs. Make conversations out of it. Debate. Debates are fun. Both people can express and defend their opinions.
The "right track" for you might not necessarily be the right track for this guy. Let him believe what he wants, and take advantage of the differences in opinion. Let it make the relationship better.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: Hey I always get eyeliner that smudges.... any ideas for one that doesn't or very little smudge?
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I strongly reccomend Clinique Quickliner. It's a little on the expensive side, but it's seriously waterproof and cry-proof.
(Trust me, if I didn't have black cheeks after four and a half hours wearing that eyeliner, it's cry-proof.)
MAC also has good makeup, and I think it's a little cheaper. I've never tried their pencil liner, though. Just thought I'd mention them.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: Well my boyfriend and i plan on having sex pretty soon and he wants to use 2 condoms for extra protection just incase... you know but do you think that's dumb and is there any kinds of condoms that are like extremely durable and are like guarenteed not to break or anything... please answer... thanx
-just asking...
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Nononononoooooooo!
2 condoms is a BAD idea. As Mackenzie said, friction can cause both of them to break. Go with one condom, and you should be fine.
Trojans are pretty reliable. Just don't get the "ultra thin" kind, lol. I've been using them since last April and I've never had one break. However, no condoms are "guaranteed" not to break, which is why I'm also on the pill.
If you're not on the pill, you might want to get on it. Condoms alone, or the pill alone, are both about 97% effective. If you use both the pill and condoms, the effectiveness increases to about 99.9%.
It's not dumb to want to be safe at all, but you need to do a little research and make sure your safety precautions are actually safe.
ALSO - just because a lot of people don't know to do this, ask him to hold onto the bottom of the condom when he pulls out. That way the condom won't end up inside you and the semen won't drip out and all that.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: Ok well my absolute best frend is kinda having a problem right now and im really trying to help him but i dont know what to do.hes always there for me when i need something and i wanna be here for him. his brother is always dissing him and beating him up and he hates it ( of course ). he tells his parents but they dont care and they dont try to get his bro to stop. one time his bro lifted him up by his neck and smashed him into a wall. i hate him being hurt like this...please help!! thankss SOO much and sorry this is so long!
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Whoa. That's not right.
If his parents don't care, you've gotta get another adult involved. Have you told YOUR parents? Other parents can sometimes help.
Tell your parents what's going on with your friend, and ask them if there's anything they can do to help. Keep in mind that they might not want to get involved. If that's the case, ask them what YOU can do.
You might end up contacting the police. How old is his brother? How old is your friend?
I'm not sure I was a whole lot of help, but I hope it does help a little...^^
As far as the length, the longer and more detailed, the better. Never worry about length asking me questions. You see how much I write, lol.
Anyway, I do hope this helps a bit. Good luck with everything.
-Siren =)
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Q: is masturbating a sin? or bad.. or what.. or is it just for pleasure?
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First of all, thank you for actually spelling that right. You have no idea how many people misspell it.
Anyway, masturbating is only a sin if you're a bible-toting, "the bible is the end-all and be-all" Christian. (No offense, Christians) If you don't consider it a sin, then it isn't a sin. Masturbation is certainly not a bad thing. It's mostly just for pleasure, and most people do masturbate. It's totally normal and okay unless YOU feel that it's a bad thing.
It's really an opinion thing.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: umm i like this dude nd hes not like hott but reli sweet nd every1 hates him but im goin out with him neway....should i stay with him nd be laughed at, or just break up?
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Think about what you're considering.
You like this guy. He likes you. You're already with him. But you're thinking about breaking it off because OTHER people don't like him?
You're the one dating him, honey. Don't worry about what THEY think. When they're single and lonely and you're the one with a loyal guy who cares about you, who you care about and you're happy with, they'll be sorry they didn't respect him more.
If it's your relationship, other people have no say in it. You're the one dating him, not them. You know him better. If they have the nerve to laugh at you for liking a decent guy, then they have no idea what decent is.
I'm dating a guy a lot of girls wouldn't consider because he's a bigtime gamer and computer guy. But you know what, he's the sweetest guy I've ever been with, and I regret nothing. My reputation is not based on our relationship, and chances are yours won't be either.
If you like him and he likes you and you're already together, stay with him. Decent guys are hard to come by and if you think you found one, keep him.
Never make decisions based on what other people think. Make decisions based on what YOU think.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: okay so in advance im sorry if this is long but please read and help anyways.
okay me and my boyfriend went out for 10 months and we had a good relationship but last weeekend was my birthday and my party .. it was a campout and well pretty much the whole time he was with one of my best friends, theyre friends too but shes a girl and they were cuddling, and all this stuff, well i guess she kissed him on the cheek and i got mad cuz like it was my bday and he was with her so we fought about it and he said i was jealous .. well then since we were fighting he would barely talk, so i left a message on his AIM away and said that if he wouldnt help and talk with me to work it all out then i was gunna give up cuz i was sick of trying to fix it by myself, well he took it as a breakup .. but i didnt..and i want him back but hes comfused he says and he says that its hard and everything and hes not sure if he wants me back or to be friends but he really cares about me still and loves me alot he said but he said alot more but i cant really type everything it would take a long time but i guess im really wondering is what do you think i should do..?
sorry its long but i cant do it on my own and i really love him.
btw im 15/f
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The first thing you need to do is talk to your friend and find out why she did that, when she obviously knew you were with him.
Then ask yourself if your boyfriend was right. Were you jealous? I would've been, I think. Ask y ourself if you were really sick of trying, or just trying to get him to talk to you. I think you know the answer to that one.
Once you've answered all your own questions of yourself and spoken to your friend, finding out her intentions (if she had any), talk to your boyfriend. Talk to him in person, at a coffee shop, or something. Not on his turf, and don't try to make him come to you. Give him a call and even if he doesn't answer, tell him you'd like to talk to him about what happened last weekend in a civil manner (in your own words, obviously). Then set a time and ask him to meet you somewhere. Make it clear that you don't want to be on bad terms, and that you think there was a miscommunication, not to mention that you would like to help him figure out what it is that he really wants, as he seems confused.
There was, since he took it as a breakup and you didn't.
Basically, I think what you should do is talk to him for however long it takes.
I got into a nasty fight with my guy over something REALLY stupid, and we spent four and a half hours or so in Starbucks talking and cry-testing my makeup. But after that, we're still together and happier than ever.
Different situation, I know, but basic concept - talk it out and figure out what to do. Whatever you do, don't walk away, and don't let him walk away.
If he still loves you, there's no reason for you to be apart.
But before you talk to him, it's incredibly important that you talk to your friend and find out what the hell she was doing. Ask her to be utterly honest with you, and to be upfront about it.
Then go talk to him and be upfront and honest with him.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: I have always wanted a boyfriend. But my public persona says NO. Even though I've wanted a boyf. really bad, guys (almost every, the only ones who aren't either are gay or have a girlfriend)are really mean to me because my ideas are kind of old-fashioned, I like classical music, I dress kind of old-fashioned, and I'm uncontrollable, and incredibly opinionated. I tried liking a guy once, but he just laughed in my face and told the whole grade. If I sort of let down and turn into just a regular girl, people will think i've gone soft and I won't feel like myself! Advicenators, help me!
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*Stares* Oh my god, you sound EXACTLY like me in ninth grade. Whoa.
I can totally understand that you want to keep up your "true to myself" image, but if you want a guy, don't stop yourself. Or, do. It's up to you. I ended up with the wrong guy in ninth grade, he destroyed me, and I was a "guyhating feminazi" for 18 months. I gave every guy I came across the dirtiest looks, and I was an absolute feminist until I met the guy I'm still with after over a year and a half.
It took the right guy to break my wall down, and I've never been happier.
You're good at staying true to yourself, but you still worry about what other people think. If you want to "turn into a regular girl," go for it. You'll still be different, because you had something to turn into, as opposed to being that way to begin with. People change. You may have to let your "image" go to change into the person you're going to be. I can understand where you're coming from completely, but don't ever let your "public persona" stop you from doing ANYTHING.
I let myself go. It felt weird for awhile, honestly. I felt like I was being untrue to myself until I realized that this was what I really wanted.
Figure out what you really want. Meditate, freewrite, babble to someone you trust, talk to your parents (parents are the best resources, that's where I get all my info), and figure out what you really want to do. If you want to change, go for it and don't think about what other people will think.
If not, stay the way you are. Wait for the right guy to change you - don't go looking for him. It's often when we stop looking that the good things happen. Trust me on that one.
I hope this helps - if you want someone to vent to or talk to or whatever, you can IM me (SirenCytherea) or contact me here.
-Siren =)
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Q: Hey-
I just found out that next year I have first period gym which sucks majorly. I was wondering if anybody knew any sweatproof or waterproof make-up that won't smear even after gym. I will have little time to touch up after gym. Thanks
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I reccomend Clinique and MAC eye makeup. I don't know about their other makeup, but I know their eye shadow and liner are both very good.
They're also cry-proof. Trust me, I cried for like 4 and a half hours with MAC and Clinique eyeshadow and Clinique Quickliner (pencil eyeliner) and Clinique Airbrush concealer on, and I looked fine...well, as fine as you can look after crying for like 4 and a half hours. Lol.
Unfortunately, both are a li'l on the expensive side, but they are very good.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: Please answer as sooon as you can!!
Welp i have been going out with this kid only about 2 weeks and we usualy hangout every day. Every day he also usually goes "down there" But i just got my period and i dont know what to tell him. I dont wanna just come out and be like.."no dont do it i have my period" but what should i say to him??? thankyouu!
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Well, I'm a fan of being completely honest with significant others, but a lot of people aren't as comfortable with being as blunt as I am. Lol.
You have a couple of options. The first is to not even risk it and tell him you don't want him to go down there right off the bat, but that's a little blunt, and he could take it the wrong way.
You could also just wait until he tries, then just kind of grab his hand and go "I'd rather you didn't - it's kind of a bad time of month." He should understand that, and I use that sometimes when I don't feel like going "By the way, I'm on my period."
You could also use some other excuse to get him to not be too sexual, like "I don't feel good," or whatever, but I really wouldn't lie. Just find a synonym for period if it's too awkward to tell him straight up.
Guys, if they're old/mature enough to be in a slightly sexual relationship, should be able to handle the fact that girls do indeed have periods.
Just be straight with him, don't lie, and tell him you've having "girl problems" if you like. It's up to you.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: hey i just have a question... my boyfriend watches pron and he tells me about it does that me taht is wants to be with other girls and isnt happy with what i am givin him or is it jsut a guy thing?
pLEASE HELP
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Heh.
I'm pretty sure it's a guy thing. I would let him watch the porn. If he pays attention, he might learn stuff from it. I know my guy watches porn, and I used to care, but now I don't because I know he loves me, and furthermore, I know he's still attracted to me. Keep the faith in your guy.
If you want to know exactly why he watches it, ask him. Mine watches it to learn...techniques...
Lol. I'm serious - occasionally he'll do something really interesting that I like, and I'll ask him where the heck he learned to do that, and he usually tells me it's from a video. All guys have differnt reasonings for the things they do, and to find them out, just ask. They'll usually be open about it. Also, if you want to know if he's happy with what you're giving him, ask him, and ask him to be completely honest. If he's not, ask him to teach you what he wants/likes.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: Hey,
I am a 5'(foot) 3''(inch) 13 year old Female and I weigh 123pds. Is this over weight?
♥ Meg ♥
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I'm about 5'3", 127, and I'm 17. I think I look fine, and I weigh more than you do. Your Body Mass Index is 21.8. Under 18.5 is underweight, and you don't want that. 18.5 - 24.9 is normal. Anywhere in there is fine. Over 24.9 is overweight, and your BMI is nowhere near that, so you're doing great!
http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/bmi/calc-bmi.htm
is the (BMI) calculator I looked at, if you're curious.
If you feel fine, chances are you look fine.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: well, i thought id ask you since you say you're kinda short too..
Well, im freaking out. Im reeeeally really short, and now im gonna skipp three grades i mean, im 14 and im gonna be in a class with 17 year olds. I aldready look young and short for my age, but this will just be pathetic..
If you think about it, all the guys gonna be really tall and stuff, and they're gonna want tall girls with great bodys. I soo not gonna fit in..the thing is if i wear high heels (no that its gonna make a big difference) when i go in to the classrooms we have to take off our shoes. So ill be short again =( what can i do? Any tips on what makes you look taller?
I've worked really hard this year to become skinny, and now i am..and my complexion is going away, my hair ALMOST looks normall, and finally when i though i was gonna fit in, im gonna go to a class with 17 yaer olds :'( im so so scared. Please help me.
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Well firstly, lemme just say that 17 year olds are just the same as 14 year olds, except the guys are not as boob-oriented as they are when they're younger.
As far as what the guy wants, I'm 5'3" and every guy I've dated has been at least 4 inches taller than me. There was a foot height difference between my last guy, and 9 inches between me and my current guy. Tall guys don't always want tall girls. Smaller girls make them feel more powerful and big, and guys like that feeling. (Just the same, I've always liked tall guys because I like to feel small and protected.)
Anyway, as far as what makes you look taller, one thing you can do is make sure you carry yourself tall.
Like, I always keep my back straight and my head up. Try not to hug your books to your chest and hide behind them, since it'll make you shrink. Lol.
A couple of other tricks I use are keeping my hair up, (Buns, messy buns, random "updos", whatever I can get my hair to do) (makes your neck look a little longer). You can wear low-rise bottoms, and long tops, like, stay away from midriff-baring shirts, as they tend to make your torso look smaller (trust me, I've tried these all myself). Button-down shirts over a tank top with like, only the bottom three buttons done will make you look skinnier, taller, and make your boobs look bigger.
Also, straight-leg jeans, not flares, will make you look taller. Heels are great, as they help fix your posture. Now all you have to do is make sure you don't lose that straightbacked posture as soon as the heels come off.
But really, you don't need to worry so much about being small. Small can sometimes be good.
I have a fairly small body, and I'm a singer - you look at me and you wouldn't expect a huge sound, but I could overpower an orchestra.
Small people that do great things often impress people that don't expect it. Use that to your advantage. Don't be afraid to speak up in class, and don't worry about what they think of you. Worry about what YOU think of you.
And, though I can't say I've ever skipped three grades, I do know how you feel being shoved into a place you're worried about fitting into. If you need someone to talk to, vent to, ask questions of, or anything, I'm here. My AIM sn is SirenCytherea, and my e-mail is DemonIre1024@hotmail.com
Or you can contact me here.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: ok i am 16 and all my friends say they have had sex i feel i am the only one that has not.what shall i do?they keep asking me if i have had sex?
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Listen, sex is really not that important. Your friends may feel that it is, but it's really not.
You want it to be with someone you care about, especially the first time. Your first time is never what you expect it to be, and is often rather painful, so you want it to be someone who cares about you and will try to cause you as little pain as possible.
You're sixteen. You JUST got legal (in some states). Don't be in a rush to find someone just because your friends say they have. Just so you know, I'm not saying your friends are sluts for having sex at 16, since I was that age when I lost my virginity.
I'm just suggesting that for your own emotional well-being, wait until you find a guy you love, who loves you. Girls also tend to get emotionally attached to the first guy they have sex with, which is why a lot of people wait until marriage, to make sure there's no risk of awful heartbreak or breakup.
As far as what to tell your friends, I would just tell them "No, I have not had sex yet, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop asking." If you want, you can even tell them "I'll tell you when I do" to get them to shut up.
Just don't rush it, and don't let them rush you.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: What should i do if I'm losing my voice and have to sing a solo for Friday Recidles?(School thing)
What should I take//eat//drink?? Reply me back A.S.A.P.!
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Oh that sounds familiar.
Drink TONS of water. When I'm sick, I drink like 2 liters a day at least.
Invest in Halls Vapor Action strawberry cough drops (Strawberry is the most tolerable in my opinion, and works well. Cherry's stronger.)
Drink mint tea
(here's a tip with the tea, make it like regular tea, put sugar in it, or whatever, and put a mint cough drop in it and mix it around a little. It helps so much. I reccomend the "natural" Ricolas. They're square, and they're just mint. They go very well with Bigelow's Mint Medley tea.)
Also, regular tea with honey is good. Or honey lemon cough drops, if you can find them.
If you're having phlegm issues, put a little lemon juice in your water. That'll help cut through the phlegm. If you haven't tried it before, though, I wouldn't try it the morning of your solo. Citrus tends to make my phlegm worse, but it helps everyone else.
Like a lot of other people said, you can Try gargling salt water, but if it's a virus, that might not help.
Eat no dairy, it'll just coat your throat and make it harder to sing. Try to stay away from spicy foods. You can drink caffeinated stuff, that shouldn't be a problem - coffee actually helps me, as long as I put no cream in it.
If your throat hurts, get N'Ice cough drops, citrus. Those are great. Sugarless, smooth, strong, and soothing.
Eat veggies - celery is good, cucumber, anything that has a lot of juice. There really isn't anything you need to avoid like the plague aside from dairy and MAYBE spicy food.
Also, take a hot shower. Steam works wonders on a dying voice.
I've tried all of these, just so you know. I'm a performing singer, so I've gotta be in control of my voice all the time.
Go to bed early tonight. Make sure you get a lot of sleep.
(I send my sympathies, and good luck healing.)
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: Hi, I was hoping you'd be able to help me out.. I have more of a quiery then a question. Is it normal to dislike kissing? I mean.. me and my bf have only kissed a few times but everytime he's gone straight into frenching and I really don't like how it feels! It reminds me of openmouthed wet fish! :S Do you think maybe it's something one of us is doing wrong? Or maybe kissing just isn't for me? I'm kinda shy about it and he's understanding and doesn't kiss me unless I'm okay with it, but I feel like such a loser lol :( (17/f)
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Heh. You're probably just not used to Frenching, or just not into it, which is also totally normal.
Just let him know that closed-mouth kisses are sometimes cool too. I had a guy that always kissed me, but it was like, messy, and I hated kissing, especially french kissing. It was like, sloppy, wet, and he kind of tried to gag me with his tongue...Anyway,
It might be that he's using too much tongue for your tastes. Next time, if you want to (and only if you want to) try playing with just the tip of your tongue to let him know that's how you like it. If you don't like tongue at all, that's cool too. It took me awhile to get used to it.
You are not a loser, honey. Lol. It's completely fine not to like Frenching. Just let him know that, or that it's just not your thing, and that you like closed-mouth kisses. Frenching every single time you kiss is not fun. I mean hell, my guy's great at frenching, but I still wouldn't want to do it every time we kissed. Sometimes those closed-mouth kisses make you just as dizzy as the openmouthed kisses do. (Or moreso, in some cases.)
Just tell him (nicely) to lay off the tongue and use his lips. Lol. Kissing's for everyone at some point. It's just a matter of the TYPE of kissing, and on occasion, the person you're kissing.
I'm gonna stop babbling before I kill you with it, as I tend to do to people, lol.
I hope this helps! If you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask. I answer everything I can, and I'm always willing to try harder!
-Siren =)
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Q: I'm 17, and so is my girlfriend, though most of the time she's a lot more mature than me because she's gone through a lot more. I've messed up a lot in my relationship.. nothing extreme, theres just a lot about me that bothers my girlfriend, and she's gone through times when she puts serious thought into breaking up with me, and truthfully i dont see why she hasnt. but what bothers her is basically just a lot about me that i can't help much, like things that i do without thinking about it, and the fact that i use to be a big flirt and sometimes have trouble stopping that.
she's always been more than faithful to me, and has never strayed away.she's debating giving up trying with me and i love her more than anything, she's perfect for what i want to be and am trying to be. but i need to know whether or not i should just let her go and live without my complications or not. please respond quickly.
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Wow, this sounds like a situation I was in for awhile...
I'm gonna tell you that a conversation really worked for us. We're both incredibly happy now. Talk to her about it.
What you've gotta decide is what you want - obviously you want to stay with her, right? Let her know that you realize you've messed up, but let her know you really want to make this work, and that you're willing to really try to change, if you are.
I had the same problem - my boyfriend had some issues with me not doing things instead of me doing things. I didn't even realize that I wasn't doing them until he pointed it out to me, and I realized why I wasn't doing them. (It turned out to be totally subconscious).
However, I do think you should talk to her - just sit down somewhere and talk it all out. Let her know what you're feeling first, then ask her to tell her side of things.
Mention that you've noticed her seriously consider breaking it off and then never do it. Find out why she didn't, even if you think you know, let her explain.
Whether you let her go or not depends on how important you think your relationship is to both of you.
See, we knew we would both be miserable without each other, and I knew I couldn't handle breaking up with him. I loved him too much, and he'd always seemed to love me just as much as I loved him if not more.
Is your relationship so important to you that you would do anything to keep it? Would you be completely miserable without it? On the other hand, is the relationship itself making you miserable? Is it worth fighting for, wasting your energy on? Would it really be that much easier to live without it, or would you miss it every day of your life? Can you imagine regretting this decision?
Answer those questions first, then talk to her and figure things out. Make sure you keep a huge slot of time aside. You never know how long this could take. (It took us five hours, but it was worth it.)
Well good luck with everything - If you want to vent to someone, or anything, I'm usually on AIM (SirenCytherea).
I hope this helps you!
-Siren =)
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Q: Everyone at my school is calling me fat! The last time I checked the scale I weighed 144 pounds! But I gain weekly! I hate my weight! I am very self consious and I've tryed diets but they haven't been working. So lately I have been making myself throw up after very meal! Is it really that harmful? This seems like my last resourt! What should I do! My friends are worrying sick about me! The only thing wrong with this is that it makes me feel kindly weak! But mostly when I get hot or something! What should I do?
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Nooooooooooooo! Don't do that!
Not only is forcing yourself to vomit unhealthy in general, it's an eating disorder. This may seem like a last resort, but it should not be any resort at all.
Part of the dangers of doing that is that your body will get used to vomiting after every meal, and then you won't be able to keep anything down.
YOU NEED NUTRIENTS. Food is not your enemy. Food is fuel. It keeps you going, if you eat the right things. You get weak because your body has no nutrients in it.
Not to mention the fact that vomiting constantly is like rinsing your mouth with stomach acid. It eats away at the enamel on your teeth, it can damage your throat, it can damage your digestive tract...there are a lot more dangers than you're taking into consideration.
The first step you need to take is to admit that you have a problem.
The second step you need to take is to stop thinking you're fat. 144 doesn't seem too bad. I have a friend who's 5'4" and weighs 150, and she's gorgeous. She's not as skinny as she wants to be, but she loves herself and that's all that matters. She loves herself for who she is, the way she is.
Stop listening to everyone at school. "Everyone" is an idiot. The only opinion that needs to matter to you is YOURS. Not your friends', not your teachers, yours.
I understand that you're self conscious, but you know what? If you keep looking in the mirror and going "Ew, I'm ugly and fat and disgusting," you will convince yourself that you are ugly and fat and disgusting. I speak from experience.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself "I am beautiful, and I am perfect as I am."
Corny, maybe, but seriously do it.
I had the lowest self esteem ever for such a long time, and then I realized that I needed to stop criticizing myself and start complimenting myself. There were enough people out there doing the criticizing for me - I didn't need to add to it.
I look in the mirror every day now and say to myself "You're beautiful. You're sexy. You're confident. Show the world what you're made of," smile, and walk out.
I'm going to stop here for fear of repeating myself and talking too much as usual - but if you need someone non judgemental to talk to, you can IM me. I'm SirenCytherea on AIM, or e-mail me (DemonIre1024@hotmail.com)
I'm on every night, and always willing to listen and console.
I hope this helps a bit!
-Siren =)
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bio
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I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.
I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.
I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.
Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.
***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***
If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.
I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
Siren
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Age: 26 AIM: Member Since: February 13, 2004 Answers: 1526 Last Update: April 26, 2014 Visitors: 107788
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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