about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

dear helper i am also 12 and recently my dad has been at his worst and pushed me to the limit i was trying to commit suicide and found what you said thanks man now im alibe

I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say, whichever one of us answered you and that advice kept you for hurting yourself; then we are all very happy to hear this news.

This is why we do this. Someone like us will always be here for you if you ever need advice from us again in the future.

Thanks for writing and telling us you are okay. I know you made my day and I'm sure you have made the day for the others.

[view]

21/f. I still live at home with my parents. It's so annoying. All they do is fight with each other. No one in my house speaks to each other politely. We're all rude to one another, and the problem is that no one ants to change. I have no good friends. I did, but she changed, and now she acts like she doesn't need me. But she was a huge bitch so i quit hanging out with her. It's hard for me to socialize with other people in my class, because I have ADHD and I am impulsive. My psychiatrist won't put me on a higher dose because my weight is low. My parents are constantly telling me what to do. My mom calls me to see if I've waken up, if I've eaten breakfast. Then I get an attitude and she gets mad. She tells me what time to go to bed, to set my alarm, etc. She doesn't really give me a chance to do things, and then i get mad. Then when i go to therapy my therapist acts like i am always doing something wrong. She'll ask me how is my attitude, and if i am still being snappy which i am because i am sick of being monitored like a child. My therapist tells me to not be snappy and I should eat dinner with them, even though they ignore m and talk about work or start arguing. She tells me they won't change and that i should. And I've changed a lot in the last 3 and half years, but my parents still think i am the same, have no respect for me. My therapist says I've changed for the better, but I feel like it's hard for me to be nicer to them because they're so c controlling and I've built up a lot of resentment towards them. My parents are always talking about my attitude and how bad it is. They never look at their mistakes. I am so sick of it. I am in college and I am taking 2 classes; Intro to accounting and principles of management. My dad always has to sit with me to help me with my homework, even though I can do it myself. I've told him but he doesn't respect me and still sits with me, and argues with me. He's so controlling, he treats me and my mom like crap. He called me stupid once because i took a quiz online for my management class and i got a 50. After that he started helping me. Like whenever I'm done with a quiz he HAS to go over it with me, him and my mom get so worried and make me go over it with one of them. They will never let me grow up. My therapist who I've been seeing me for three years tells me all the damn time i can't change it, and i should just deal with it. I am so tired of her saying that, I don't pay her to tell me stupid shit. I have tried to get a job, so i can move out, but i can't keep it ever because i am slow. My therapist is so discouraging, she says I can't live off of 7.25. She says I wouldn't need help from my dad on the weekends if i did it myself during the week when i am home by myself. I try but it's hard, and i tried to find a tutor but my school doesn't have one. I can't focus when i am home by myself and waste time. I am incredibly frustrated. What should i do?

There is not a lot of advice I can give you about your situation with your parents. This is something your therapist and psychiatrist should be helping you with. This is an area where I can offer you some suggestions.

First of all you are 21 an adult. Even though your parents health insurance may be paying for you medical care you are the one who is responsible for that care. You and only you can make any choices regarding your medical care including what doctors or therapists you see. If you think a new therapist will be of more help to you then get one.

From what you have written it sounds like the therapist you are seeing has not gotten your full trust. It appears to me the you do not fully trust him or her. This is not good. In order for therapy to work you and your therapist must have each others full cooperation and trust. I know this for I needed the help of a good therapist. I went through three before finding one I could work with and trust to tell my deepest secrets to.

While your doctors and therapist are bound by law to never divulge any medical information to anyone without your written permission. When it comes to the problems you are having at home your therapist should be having, to my mind, some family counseling sessions with you and your parents. At these sessions he/she can guide them to discussions on how their arguing and demeaning of you hurts you and effect your ADHD. while still protecting you and your privacy.

My therapist did this for me with my family who was treating me at times as an invalid because of my disability and then at other time getting mad at me and totally ignoring the fact that there were somethings I could not do. With my therapists help we were able to get this problem out in a manner that was safe for me. Safe meaning in a way I was comfortable in addressing. While I had the security of my therapist to protect me from any backlash that might occur from the discussion.

My therapist insists on regular family sessions to to assure herself that my home life is still safe and that everyone understands the limits my disability places on me. The last thing anyone wants is my slipping back into a depressive state. Just so you know I was disabled in a car accident where I was the only innocent in a 3 car accident and the only one injured. It was very hard to accept the accident forced me into early retirement and limited what I can and cannot do.

Now the other thing that concerns me is your weight. ADHA and being under weight may go hand and hand which is something I am not totally sure about. What I am sure about is being under weight is worse than being over weight. Being under weight, if that is what you are, is something you need to find out and correct.

You need to see your primary care doctor and find out what your weight should be. Then work with a nutritionist to get to that weight. It may mean eating more than just 3 meals a day or taking meal supplements with your meals. Getting your weight where it should be so you can be properly medicate is something that is most important.

You should also consider finding a new therapist if you find yourself having trouble working with this one. As I said I went through tree before finding my present therapist. There is nothing wrong with this and your present therapist should even help you find one if you tell him or her that you feel you need a change in therapists.

[view]

i'm a christian... can anyone tell me if masturbation is wrong, or considered a sin? thanks

While masturbation is not condoned by the church it is neither considered to be a sin.

In a survey I read published in a Christian newspaper the survey reported that 85% of us masturbate. That most organized religions do not condone the practice, including Christianity and the Catholic church, neither is it a sin as it is not addressed in the bible.

Masturbation is a good safe way to release built up sexual tension brought on by puberty. It also allows you to explore your own sexuality in the privacy of your bedroom. To find out where you like to be touched an how you like to be touched. Masturbation is also part of foreplay for sex although it is generally called mutual masturbation as one partner is masturbating the other to stimulate them for sexual intercourse.

If you wish to masturbate then go ahead. As long as it is not an all encompassing part of your life to the exclusion of everything else go ahead. Explore your body and enjoy yourself.

Just remember to assure your privacy by locking your door so you are not intruded upon. Then set the mood by turning down the lights and playing some soft music if you want.

[view]

i just need your advice about a man that i have been with for about eight months now. he is a divorced man and he is about 15 years older than i, besides ha has a nine years son. i loved him a lot and i still do, but my parents didn't like him at all.
the problem is that he said that if i beak up with him he would hurt me and tell my father about every thing that happened between us.
please i really need your advice as soon as possible because i am really lost and cannot do anything right now.

First of all when someone says something like this that person is trying to control you. Making that person a controller. Second by making this kind of threat he has committed a crime called assault which could be a felony if the police wish to charge him in that manner.

The threat becomes a crime when it is made and he has the ability to do so and you are fearful that he will. It is called an assault as he has not yet touched you. If he does hit you then it is battery. IF you are living together he could also be charged with domestic violence depending on the laws in your state.

The other concern I have is the one where he threatens to tell your father about everything you have done together. This leaves me to wonder how old you are and if you might be, or ever were, under the age of consent in your state while you were with him. The age of consent in most states is 17 or 18.

If you are or were ever under the age of consent there are a whole hosts of other legal charges that can befall him besides the assault he is already subject too. They include but are not limited to: Statutory rape, child abuse, sexual predator and the possibility of violating the Federal Mann Act if you two ever crossed a state line together.

What does this all mean to you? What it means is he has a lot to lose by threatening you or trying to keep you in this relationship against your will. You now have the means to control him which will allow you to leave, hopefully safely if he wishes to stay out of jail and retain custody of his son.

As I said you have already been assaulted by him and can go to the police to file a criminal complaint. You can also go to the District Court and get an order of Protection. With this order of Protection if you are living together you can ask the police to remove him from the home. His son would be placed in the protection of child services, placed with his mother or another close family relative. It is doubtful they would leave him in your care.

If you happen to be under the age of consent he could go to jail for as long as 25 years to life. Then when he is released he would have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

You now have the ammunition to defend yourself legally against him and as far as the assault charge goes for at least the next year. The other charges never go away and can always be used to keep him away from you.

How you decide to use this information is up to you.

[view]

I would like to ask a dermistologist or Someone that knows .
I have scaly skin in my Vagina it is in where the hole is near the pee hole . It's like real ruff a bumpy.really scaly
Am I in trouble ?

I also would like to know about Ferlitity how do you know?
You can get Pregnaut ?

From the questions you are asking you sound as if you may be a very young, young lady.

While I am somewhat confident that the bumps are normal it might be a good idea to ask to see a gynecologist. If you are 14 or older under a law known as HIPPA you do not need parental permission to see a doctor for anything related to your reproductive system. Your concerns meet that criteria.

Congress passed this law so that young people would see a doctor when they had concerns over there reproductive health or would seek medical help if they though they are pregnant or might have and STD.

If you have started to get your period the questions you are asking should have been explained to you by your mom as well as having been taught in sexual Education in school. Since you are asking these questions I have to believe mom has not told you and you were possibly not allowed to take sexual education.

A visit to a gynecologist would be a the best place to get your answers. You can also research them on the web. You have a reason to visit a gynecologist and under the HIPPA law mom cannot be in the exam room with you as this law gives you medical privacy. This privacy law allows you to talk freely with the doctor and ask any question you may be concerned about without being embarrassed or without a parent around to overhear.

The doctor will not be embarrassed by your questions and most importantly the doctor will give you the proper answers.

[view]

I think I'm getting a physical next week and I'm wondering if I can ask my doctor not to look in my mouth. I'm over 18, but my dad will probably want to go in to see the doctor with me. The problem is that I have scars in my mouth from a very stupid accident that I don't want my doctor or dad to know about. I've gotten care for it from my boyfriend's dad who is a doctor, so it's taken care of, but I'd be extremely ashamed for anybody to know about it. Can I call him and ask him not to look in my mouth? If so, will he ask any questions and how will I possibly answer them?

Lets start with the legal portion of this problem first.

You are 18 now, an adult under the law with all the rights and the protections the law grants adults. This means legally your father has no right to your medical information. Your medical information is confidential and cannot be released to anyone without your written permission.

This is guaranteed under a law known as HIPPA; the Health Information Personal Privacy Act. Even if your doctors visit is being paid for by dads health insurance coverage, he has no legal right to be in the exam room with you or to see your medical records. Your doctors(s) cannot release any medical information to him at all or face a 10 prison sentence and a fine of up to $5,000.

Under the law you could be in say an auto accident and be in the hospital ER. Unless you were able to tell the staff that you wanted certain people to know or be contacted, they cannot acknowledge that you are there or face the same penalty.

So with this knowledge you can tell your father to either stay home or wait in the waiting room. Your doctor will support you or even tell your dad he cannot be present during your examination.

As for whatever is or has happened in your mouth. Even though it has been attended to by a doctor, your doctor needs to know about this and make it part of your medical records. Your doctor will in no way chastise you or ridicule you for whatever caused whatever you are concerned about. I can assure you whatever it is the doctor has seen it all and you probably are not the worst or the person who has had the most stupid accident the doctor has ever seen.

[view]

Today my mom came home at lunch angrier than a bull. That isn't really abnormal she usually has crazy mood swings about once a week and everybody who knows her thinks she has some sort of bipolar disorder. Today though she was just completely ridiculous and said some things I don't think I'll ever forget.

The first thing that really bothered me was that she brought up something I posted on facebook FOUR years ago. I posted a status about her driving her me crazy (which I think is normal for a very stressed honors student (freshman at the time) after a fight with their mom. He called her and told her that "I was saying very bad things about her on facebook" (he was 28 at the time). Of course she was very angry at the time she found out (which she had a right too) but come on it's 4 years later now...

Today she brought it up again and said "I'll never in my life forgive you for doing that! No normal child would ever do such a thing and I'm going to hate you for that forever!" I understand if she was talking about something I did today but like I said FOUR years ago a stupid facebook comment and she's never going to forgive me for it?! Isn't that a little out of line?

The second thing was when she said "The only reason I've kept you underneath my roof all of these years was because I knew if I didn't your father would take me back to court and try to take away my child support money!" That just hurt. She pretty much said she doesn't love me at all and that she's just using me for money.

The third thing she said was "I didn't sign up to take care of you for your entire life! I shouldn't have to do a damn thing for you ever again! You're 18 now and you've been out of school since June! You should have a job and be out of my house and you should have repaid me for everything I ever bought you for gifts by now! I want all of that money back. You owe me for every cent I've ever spent on you! I've had close to enough of this and I will throw you out on the street! You think I give a damn? You and your stupid f*cking friends that you text will all become homeless and I'll laugh at all of you! Every adult in the world hates all of you teenagers! That's why we're not giving you jobs! WE HATE YOU AND WE'RE LAUGHING AT YOU! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BE HOMELESS HAHAHAHA!"

Again I think that was totally out of line. It's not like I'm not looking for a job. I've filled out 300+ applications and walked door to door in plazas in my best formal attire in 100 degree heat looking for a job in the past month since I turned 18 (August 14th) and really? ALL of the adults in the world hate every single teenager? You're all just around to turn us away and laugh at us? I'm sure that's totally what you're all doing. (Sarcasm)

Later that day I went out on the porch to have silent time alone to just cry it out but she must have heard me because not 15 minutes later she walked out and I had my cellphone in my hand in the middle of sending a text to a friend who was making me laugh and she pointed at it and said "Because of that stupid thing we will never have a real mother daughter relationship!"

Idk why but those couple things really cut me more than anything she's ever said to me before.

I don't want to forgive her again and I don't think I can. I can never do anything right in her eyes. She hates everything I do and always tells me how much she hates me and how worthless she thinks I am. I don't get it because I have friends that all tell me how amazingly nice and funny they think I am and all of my teachers have always liked me and called me a sweetheart. I've volunteered with children and I'm a good kid. I'm still a virgin, I only dated once. I never did drugs or drank or partied. I've stayed in my entire life and tried to be good. I just don't think I can make myself like her again. I couldn't even make myself say I love you which I usually do every night before she goes to bed. I just feel so sick about her now. I want to just cry. She's the only person who's ever made me want to kill myself repeated times (though I've never self harmed and I would never actually do it I love life too much).

Wow, your mother and my father should have been married as they really would have complemented each other. She sounds a lot like he was.

I have one question for you. Why are you not attending College or a Community College? As you are finding out there are not many jobs out there. At the moment it is an employers market. Why should they hirer a high school graduate when they can higher a college graduate for the same money they would pay a high school graduate? In the past it would cost them way more to hirer the college grad.

It does sound like mom is suffering from some form of depression. Bipolar disorder is also known as manic depression. Like my father you will not convince your mother she is ill. This is an illness that they have to admit to having before they will seek treatment for. Unfortunately like certain other illnesses such as alcoholism she will have to hit bottom before she will accept or seek help. Everyone's bottom is different so there is no telling when and where that might be.

I learned many years into my teenage years that the problem between me and my father was not of my doing but was because of me. Even though my parents were married for 3 years before I came along, I am what is known as a war baby or a baby resulting from the return of military from WWII. It seems I was not planned and my father blamed me for ruining his life as he had to go to work and support my mother and me rather than go to college. So from the time of my birth I guess I heard similar remarks as you have written.

Whatever is your mothers problem I doubt like me it is not something you ever did. She is blaming the facebook entry but it has to be something else. It may have to do with the divorce or a combination of things that have happened to her. As a child though you are the innocent party. One that blame can be heaped upon because you are to young to fight back.

The only advice I can give you for now is to try and develop a thicker skin. Keep reminding yourself it is not you, it is her.

I would also like you, if you are not attending college. To visit your local community college financial aid office. There are a number of grants and scholarships that they have access to that will help you get into the community college. For what the grants and scholarships won't cover they will help you apply for student loan for the rest of the money you need. Some colleges even have on campus housing. IF your does apply for it and move out of moms house.

An AA degree is better than just a high school diploma. Yes you may have a small debt to repay upon graduation but that debt is nothing compared to the income available to someone with a degree from an institution of higher learning.

[view]

So I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks. We have a lot in common and we seem to get along pretty great. We have some crazy similarities that are just like really rare as far finding somebody else who shares those traits with you goes.

Well today we were messaging when my mom started screaming and insulting me for no reason (read previous question if you want to know more but it's really long) and it seemed like every 30 minutes she would start screaming about something else and it got to the point where I explained to him why I kept having to brb and he laughed about it at first because it was sort of ridiculous.
Then we got to talking about his family and his mom who's a little crazy too so he understood. Later I was getting really upset about her and he said something about him wanting me to come stay with him to get away from her and that he would hide me (jokingly). Well it went from that to me talking about making some grand escape (only half joking) and then he asked me why I didn't just find a wealthy man and marry him and make a happy life for me and him and not have to concern myself with her problems. I laughed and told him because wealthy men only want girls with double D's and bleach blonde hair. He responded with "Not this wealthy guy." which turned into a conversation about him marrying me and how I would get along with his family and how we had so many similarities that we would be perfect. I thought the whole conversation was just a sweet and silly little knick knack kind of thing.

We kept talking off and on throughout the day (for most of the day) but the whole marriage thing kept coming back up but I still treated it like it was our little inside joke for the day thing. Before he went to bed though it came back up again and he said I should as a joke tell my dad that we were getting married so I said okay and posted on my fathers wall that he wanted me to tell him that he was going to marry me but I followed the comment with "lol" because it WAS a joke. Then he (my friend) said now we should really follow through and get married to make the joke complete.

So I said "Deal" and then he after making back and forth comments debating him leaving and several silly compliments later he was like "Bye my wifey to be" so going along with it I said "Bye husband 2 be" and then he sent me a heart and logged off.

He WAS joking right? You don't think he really might have been serious do you? I mean we really get along and we compliment each other all the time and like I said we have insane similarities but now I'm a little scared he thought I was being legit like I would really marry him. I wouldn't be over thinking this stuff but the religion that we share kind of promotes getting married quickly and early. >.>

I do not believe anyone of us can really tell you what he believes or is thinking. This is a question you have to ask him.

Regardless of what he may be thinking you also have to take into consideration the laws of the state you live in. Your religion might promote early marriage, which is fine as far as that may go. If you live in the USA you have to abide by the laws as they are set down to protect young people. Every State has slightly different laws but they all have laws as to how young people can be when they marry and even how young they can be and marry with parental permission.

Fact is that within your religious community you may be able to marry and be seen as married in the eyes of God. In the eyes of the law if you are under age you legally cannot marry and would not have any of the legal benefits of a married couple.

Unfortunately my answer is: I do not have an answer to your question. You have to ask him if he meant what he said. If you are agreeable to his proposal you then, if either or both of you are under 18, have to check the laws in your state to see at what age you two can legally marry.

[view]

I'm considering unnatural death not because of a serious illness but because seems like no one cares about any one anymore. Come to think of it why should you or anyone care...You have your own lives and problems. It's been really hard the last few years and getting no better fast. The thing is, I love life and embrace life, I want to live and enjoy life to it's fullest, more than anything. But, I just exist, can't really genuinely, smile or laugh or even enjoy a beautiful day or music. It's as though there is no place for me on this earth. I want a place, I want to live and be happy etc. Sad thing is, not that I want death, but that I want life and can't have it. I'm tired.

I'm someone and I care enough to respond to you. While I am not a doctor, none of us are, I can see from your writing you are depressed over something. Probably something other than what you have written about.

Lets address unnatural death or suicide as it is more commonly called. This is not a solution or resolution to a problem or situation. This is just an ending, the wrong ending as there is no problem that with a little effort and the right support you cannot resolve or fix.

The following is a number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. It is available 24/7. The people who answer the hotline are much more qualified to help you than I am. You also get to speak with them one on one in real time for as long as it takes for them to help you and find help for you in your own home town. The number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255), please call them for I know they can help you.

Suicide, the consideration of or the actual planing of committing is the outward desperate expression of depression. If you are actively thing of or planning to commit suicide then call 911 or the emergency number for where you live immediately and help will be sent to you.

As for the other things you spoke about such as finding a place for yourself. Once you get help for the depression, the therapist will be able to help you with that. I too can help you with that but I need more information about you.

Information you may not want to share with a total stranger. Information such as your educational background, your age and things that interest you, hobbies and such. With this type of information I can make suggestions to help you find your place.

If you wish to share this information you can send it to me via a private message. First contact the hotline or 91 and get help for the depression.

Also remember I and anyone else who answers you care about you. So to say no one cares is no longer correct.

Take care of yourself and write me back to let me know how you are doing.

[view]

I am a 20 year old female who has a great day life. I go to school, I work part time, I have great friends and a good family. I live at home with my parents to save money while I attend nursing school.

One bump is my mother. My mother is a sometimes functioning alcoholic. She holds a day job but at night drinks to oblivion and is just disgusting. She can't handle her booze at all, she'll go to bars and call me for a ride because she is kicked out of the bar. My mom is in her 50's so it's not normal. Her newest weakness is not making it to the bathroom, she will pee on the FREAKING floor. It's DISGUSTING. She's a mean nasty drunk and I want nothing to do with her.

I love my younger sister and my dad but he works nights and just doesn't realize the extent to which she is sick. During the day, my loving amazing mother comes back (which makes it really hard for me to try talking to her about it) but sometimes I just can't be here and she's just really nasty.

P.S. I really don't want pity or anything and I know many people have things much harder with an alcoholic parent, and I just want to figure out how to go about helping my Mom.

I understand your problem, unfortunatley this is a case of "









http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

[view]

I am going to purchase my first laptop and need Alittle help deciding which one to get?

I have always liked Dell computers. There may be better or there may be less expensive laptops out there though I have stayed with Dell. I like them for the service and support I have received when I have needed it, which has been rare. I usually wear my lap top out before it fails and needs service.

I find the Dell laptops very much fit my needs and I have yet to have to wait more than a day or two for shipment. When I need one I go to dell.com and select the one I want. I usually find one that is configured as I needed it. You can also call them and build the laptop you want if you can't find one configured as you want.

I have never bought a laptop off the shelf in a computer store. I figure for the amount of money I am paying I should be able to select what I need not settle for a package that might give me something close to my needs.

I hope I have helped.

[view]

Hey everyone!! Im 17 f..I wanna get my boyfriend something cool sense he got me something amazing! Any ideas on what I should get or go out to buy?

You have not supplied the type of information that would help in making a suggestion.

What I suggest you do is sit down and make a list of those things he is passionate about other than you. Things such as sports; is he a fan of football? If so what is his favorite team? Who is his favorite player? IF you know the answer to these questions and he does not already have an authentic NFL Jersey this is something he might cherish. If he is a car guy maybe something for his car.

The better you know him the easier it will be. Just take a few minutes and as I said sit down with pen and paper and make a list of those things he is passionate about. Music would qualify if there is something he really wants and has not yet purchased for himself.

As mom may have said to you when you were little. Just put your thinking cap on.

[view]

My great grandma is 95 yrs old. she has been in the hospital numerous times in the past few months for breaking her hip & neck. She fractured her neck and its well now, she has a sore on her foot that won't go away, first the doctor said just leave a sock on it and let it get will, then they said it was gangrene then it isn't. She can't walk because her foot. She doesn't talk to anyone and she barely eats. I think she feels lonely or depressed about her health problems? Idk, we try to talk to her and she doesn't talk, sometimes we try to get her to eat and she doesn;t eat. She just lays down, not saying anything & sleeping or slouched staring into space. She doesn't want to get up and she's always cold even though it's literally 105 degrees outside and its not cold inside. She doesn't like for them to change her diaper, feed her or anything. Her doctor told my aunt that my great grandmother had gangrene, but then we took her to te hospital and they said that she didn't have it, she just had a blockage in her foot. She has bad nutrition from refusing to eat, so they said that they can do anything or cut her leg off because it will kill her faster. My great granddmother didn't start having these problems with her leg until she went to the hospital and the doctors there never treated her for her leg pain, they didn't care if she ate either. She is in the hospice now, they don't give her any blood pressure medicine or any medicine she needs. They don't feed her or care if she eats. She's always dirty (they treated her this way in the hospitals too). yesterday when we went to see her, she wouldn't wake up for ANYTHING. We talked to her in her ear & tried to wake her, we wiped her face and the doctors even moved her, but she wouldn't wake up, she was sleeping heavy and snoring. My family & I believe that the nurses are giving her medicine to knock her out all day, so she won't cry about pain in her leg from the blockage or anything. She doesn't even drink water or urinate that much. Are the nurses at the hospital & hospice doing the right thing for her? Are they just trying to kill her faster?

There may be more to this than you are aware of. I would have to be there to look in her records to see if she has a living will and just what it spells out as far as what care she wants provided.

As for not doing general care, bathing her, changing her diaper and things of that nature. You are correct this is very wrong. Part of Hospice care is death with dignity you, if you are of age, you or parents, Aunts or Uncles need to complain to Hospice and the hospital management people.

As for the other things, like the missed diagnosis, I cannot address that either without being there and looking at her medical records. There maybe more things going on then you are aware of. I understand your concern but sometimes, depending on how old you are, parents try to shield children from somethings.

If the misdiagnosis is the cause of your Great Grandmothers declining health and ultimately her death. This is something your parents and other adult relatives would have to decide if the want to pursue with a lawyer.

I'm sorry I could not be of more help to you.

[view]

I'm scared to death right now. I've been having these weird symptoms since friday that I found out could be kidney failure. I had a kidney infection recently that I'm afraid I waited too long to get help for. I'm really, really freaked out and I need my mom to go to the doctor with me, but they're not open until tomorrow. Should I ask her to take me to the emergency room? How am I gonna tell her? She's been through sooo much and she doesn't deserve this. Do you think she'll be mad at me for this? Would you still love your kid the same if they gave themself kidney failure?

Today is Monday, if you haven't seen a doctor yet call your doctors office. They will tell you if you need to go to the emergency room or if you can wait for them to schedule you into the office.

In the future if something like this happens. There are 24 hour walk-in clinics that can help you. You will find them in the yellow pages or on the web or as I did by calling my doctors answering service. When I did I was told to go to a specific clinic my doctor trusted.

Your Insurance will most likely cover this visit as it is generally no more expensive than a doctors office and far less expensive than a visit to a hospital emergency room.

As to your question of parental love. There is very little or anything my child could do to loose my love. What would make me very unhappy with you if you were my child is not coming to me and telling me you were ill and needed to see a doctor.

As a parent my first responsibility is to your health and safety. It is not for you to worry about me. What I may or may not be dealing with or what I may or may not be able to afford. I will deal with what I have to deal with and I will afford that with which I must afford to. Your health is something I must be able to afford 1st before all else.

So if you have not told mom you are ill tell her. Then call the doctor and ask to be seen. If they cannot see you today and believe you need to see a doctor today they will tell you if you need to go to the emergency room or a walk in clinic.

[view]

I want to send fanmail to One Direction
The address is
Modest Management
The Matrix Complex
91 Peterborough Rd
London
SW6 3BU

I ship things on Ebay using Priority Mail Flat Rate envelopes and I thought I could just print out a shipping label and use that to mail the letter. But I can't figure out how. When I go to print on I can't find London or the UK on the list so that leads me to believe I can't use this envelope. So I would need to use a normal everyday envelope, right? Do I need any special stamps to ship this to London?
I don't mail ever and my dad has never mailed anything outside of the USA so we're both confused.

IF you go to USPS.COM and type in the search box International letter mailing you will find the answer to your question. You will also find information on priority package mailing for international packages if you need that service.

[view]

What are the symptoms of thyroid imbalance? How do you know if there is a problem with your thyroid? Is there a test you can take to chack and make sure everything is ok?

Yes there is a test that can be done and it may have to be done several times as your Thyroid can function properly at times and not function properly at other times. This happened to my sister.

She had multiple test run with negative results. Then one day while waiting for my niece to finish her doctors visit a doctor noticed my sister sitting there and asked if she was okay. She said she wasn't okay but no one has yet found out what was wrong with her.

He took my sister into an exam room. Examined her and drew blood for several test. This test came back positive for thyroid problems. Her thyroid was burned out with a radio active pill and she was prescribed a pill she takes each day to replace what the thyroid did for her.

So see a doctor, tell the doctor of you symptoms and get the test. The story I told you was over 20 years ago and today's test should be more sensitive. The only true way to diagnose what is wrong is with a doctors examination and proper testing.

[view]

I don't really like being eaten out...and I feel like I don't like the stuff most girls like during sex. I've never gotten off vaginally (there have been some times where its felt incredible but if its supposed to feel anything like a clit stimulation orgasm then i haven't). My boyfriend is really great in bed but my body is just so stubborn. I get bored of sex after awhile. We switch up positions and stuff but I don't know. I just feel like my body is so different... what should I do? I want to enjoy it more. Sorry about the details.

21/f

Rena-Chan is on the right track. The one thing about sex is it is a learned experience between two adults.

You just may be more clitoral in your sexual stimulation needs. Which is fine, there are many women like you. This is something you need to communicate to your boyfriend. We men learn most of our sexual techniques from magazines and porno films. They all show that a woman's sexual needs center on her vagina and nipples not her clitoris. The clitoris is mostly an after thought if mentioned or shown at all. In the porn films I've seen it is the women who stimulates her clitoris not the men.

Don't be afraid to tell your boyfriend of your sexual needs and he should not be afraid to tell you of his. Like anything else in our lives when it comes to it communication is key to success. So talk to each other and teach each other.

If you try anything that Rena-Chan suggested remember no means no and stop means stop. Also that both of you have to be consenting to whatever it is before you try something. Once one of you says no that is it you don't try it.

Now there is one other thing that could be inhibiting your sex life. If after you have spoken with your boyfriend and taught him how to stimulate you better, you are still not happy. Then I suggest seeing a therapist. There may be something in your past that is inhibiting you that is buried deep in your subconscious. This does not have to mean you were molested as a child. You may have seen something, like walking in and seeing your parents having sex. This is very traumatic for a young child. Whatever it may be it could be inhibiting you. With the help of a good therapist you can bring it forward and learn to deal with it.

I hope I have helped.

[view]

Hi everyone. I started junior high awhile ago and I just... I don't like my body! This guy (He has gone to school with me since 2nd grade; I was skinny, then fat, then now i'm a little heavy) always says immature things like "Miss Piggy" and all this crap. I'm getting tired of it!

Anyways, I just dislike my body. Not because people call me heavy, but i'm just not happy.

The whole "diet" thing doesn't work well with me. But I don't eat like a chocolate bar everyday or anything. I actually probably eat one every month. I know I should be on a diet, but I just think excersizing would be easier(believe it or not).

So i've been doing about 40 or 50 sit ups everyday but I don't think it's enough! I think I should do something else but I don't know what to do. Please don't say for me to do less or anything. I just... I need an excersize plan!

Thank you so very much and take care. Sorry if this was long!

flare is correct when she told you to report being bullied at school to a teacher or your principal. Being called names at school is a form of bullying not just teasing.

As for exercising; the best person to ask about a proper exercise program would be your physical education teacher; for two reasons. First this teacher probably knows you better than anyone of us. Second the teacher can work out a program for you that is right for you as well as arrange to supervise your work out either during school as part of your physical education class or after school as an after school extra credit activity or simply an after school activity.

Having your teacher supervise your workout means you will not only benefit from doing your workout correctly, you will also be working out safely under the teachers supervision. This is very important in my book.

Another thing you need to take into consideration is the fact you are or will be entering the early stages of puberty. This is when a girls body slims and redefines itself from a girl child to a more womanly body. A great deal of the body fat you carry, we parents call this baby fat, should be lost as your body redefines itself. This is something your physical education teacher can observe and modify your workout routine to fit your changing body.

Next you need to see your doctor and find out just what your optimum body weight should be. Now one thing to remember is that muscle is going to weigh more than fat, though you will be more toned so you will not look fat. Make sure to tell the doctor about your exercise routine so it can be taken into consideration in calculating you optimum weight and BMI. You physical education teacher can do this for you as well, though a proper exercise program has three parts.

Part one: A proper program of exercise, supervised if possible by a trainer or in your case a physical education teacher.

Part Two. Supervision by your doctor is important while dieting or exercising. Just how frequently you need to visit your doctor is something you and your doctor will decide.

Part Three: Proper nutrition. Three well balanced meals a day with two or three healthy snacks in between is key to your plan. A visit with a nutritionist could be helpful. Many health food stores have a nutritionist on staff that you can talk to or one that visits. You can check with one of your local health food stores to see if the have a nutritionist on staff or a visiting nutritionist.

As the saying goes; "No pain, no gain." The three part program I described is the pain. The reward is is you stick to the program you will achieve the results you want. This may mean getting up a little earlier to eat a proper breakfast.

Non-sugar coated cereal, Oatmeal the occasional egg for breakfast, toast and milk. Your schools coaches lunch is a good choice for lunch and moms good dinner. Snacks consists of Fruits, nuts and berries.

Yes, there is another saying man, girl, does not live by bread alone. Meaning the occasional going crazy is allowable for things like a slice of pizza, chocolate cake, ice cram and such. Occasion means as a reward once a month or so.

Good luck and I hope I have helped.

[view]

Do u tink a 13 year old sud let I lad feel her tits

Probably not a good Idea. Once you start down this road things get complicated. I suggest waiting a few years.

[view]

Im 13years old and I want to have sex but im afraid if my gf might think my penis is little

First off you are too young to be having sex so just wait a while. You are just entering puberty and your body is changing. Give it time.

Just a note here: The primary purpose of your penis is two fold. One is to urinate and the second is to impregnate. Whatever the final size of your penis turns out to be you will be capable of doing both with it so don't worry about size.

Below is the average vagina size. Any penis bigger than that will cause the girl pain during intercourse.

Average Vagina Size

Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker