|
I hate my life..
21/f. I still live at home with my parents. It's so annoying. All they do is fight with each other. No one in my house speaks to each other politely. We're all rude to one another, and the problem is that no one ants to change. I have no good friends. I did, but she changed, and now she acts like she doesn't need me. But she was a huge bitch so i quit hanging out with her. It's hard for me to socialize with other people in my class, because I have ADHD and I am impulsive. My psychiatrist won't put me on a higher dose because my weight is low. My parents are constantly telling me what to do. My mom calls me to see if I've waken up, if I've eaten breakfast. Then I get an attitude and she gets mad. She tells me what time to go to bed, to set my alarm, etc. She doesn't really give me a chance to do things, and then i get mad. Then when i go to therapy my therapist acts like i am always doing something wrong. She'll ask me how is my attitude, and if i am still being snappy which i am because i am sick of being monitored like a child. My therapist tells me to not be snappy and I should eat dinner with them, even though they ignore m and talk about work or start arguing. She tells me they won't change and that i should. And I've changed a lot in the last 3 and half years, but my parents still think i am the same, have no respect for me. My therapist says I've changed for the better, but I feel like it's hard for me to be nicer to them because they're so c controlling and I've built up a lot of resentment towards them. My parents are always talking about my attitude and how bad it is. They never look at their mistakes. I am so sick of it. I am in college and I am taking 2 classes; Intro to accounting and principles of management. My dad always has to sit with me to help me with my homework, even though I can do it myself. I've told him but he doesn't respect me and still sits with me, and argues with me. He's so controlling, he treats me and my mom like crap. He called me stupid once because i took a quiz online for my management class and i got a 50. After that he started helping me. Like whenever I'm done with a quiz he HAS to go over it with me, him and my mom get so worried and make me go over it with one of them. They will never let me grow up. My therapist who I've been seeing me for three years tells me all the damn time i can't change it, and i should just deal with it. I am so tired of her saying that, I don't pay her to tell me stupid shit. I have tried to get a job, so i can move out, but i can't keep it ever because i am slow. My therapist is so discouraging, she says I can't live off of 7.25. She says I wouldn't need help from my dad on the weekends if i did it myself during the week when i am home by myself. I try but it's hard, and i tried to find a tutor but my school doesn't have one. I can't focus when i am home by myself and waste time. I am incredibly frustrated. What should i do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
There is not a lot of advice I can give you about your situation with your parents. This is something your therapist and psychiatrist should be helping you with. This is an area where I can offer you some suggestions.
First of all you are 21 an adult. Even though your parents health insurance may be paying for you medical care you are the one who is responsible for that care. You and only you can make any choices regarding your medical care including what doctors or therapists you see. If you think a new therapist will be of more help to you then get one.
From what you have written it sounds like the therapist you are seeing has not gotten your full trust. It appears to me the you do not fully trust him or her. This is not good. In order for therapy to work you and your therapist must have each others full cooperation and trust. I know this for I needed the help of a good therapist. I went through three before finding one I could work with and trust to tell my deepest secrets to.
While your doctors and therapist are bound by law to never divulge any medical information to anyone without your written permission. When it comes to the problems you are having at home your therapist should be having, to my mind, some family counseling sessions with you and your parents. At these sessions he/she can guide them to discussions on how their arguing and demeaning of you hurts you and effect your ADHD. while still protecting you and your privacy.
My therapist did this for me with my family who was treating me at times as an invalid because of my disability and then at other time getting mad at me and totally ignoring the fact that there were somethings I could not do. With my therapists help we were able to get this problem out in a manner that was safe for me. Safe meaning in a way I was comfortable in addressing. While I had the security of my therapist to protect me from any backlash that might occur from the discussion.
My therapist insists on regular family sessions to to assure herself that my home life is still safe and that everyone understands the limits my disability places on me. The last thing anyone wants is my slipping back into a depressive state. Just so you know I was disabled in a car accident where I was the only innocent in a 3 car accident and the only one injured. It was very hard to accept the accident forced me into early retirement and limited what I can and cannot do.
Now the other thing that concerns me is your weight. ADHA and being under weight may go hand and hand which is something I am not totally sure about. What I am sure about is being under weight is worse than being over weight. Being under weight, if that is what you are, is something you need to find out and correct.
You need to see your primary care doctor and find out what your weight should be. Then work with a nutritionist to get to that weight. It may mean eating more than just 3 meals a day or taking meal supplements with your meals. Getting your weight where it should be so you can be properly medicate is something that is most important.
You should also consider finding a new therapist if you find yourself having trouble working with this one. As I said I went through tree before finding my present therapist. There is nothing wrong with this and your present therapist should even help you find one if you tell him or her that you feel you need a change in therapists.
]
More Questions: |