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Why do people pretend it's a good thing to have never been kissed?
it really sucks to see your friends act lovey dovey with their mutual crushes/boyfriends when the furthest your love life has ever gotten is just having crushes (that you don't know are returned). it's just confusing because I don't think it's a fault on my looks.. there's nothing I'd change about my appearance. people with far less looks have been on dates and all that, and I get complimented pretty regularly. not being conceited or anything, just being honest, cause normally when you say you've never been kissed at like 18 you'd think it's cause they're not good looking or something. It just makes me insecure because I really don't know what to think.. I've never seriously been asked out and its not that I'm not friendly or anything, either. I'm just wondering what I'm doing wrong. I have friends who've been doing the whole boyfriend thing since somewhere between ages 11-16. I hung out with some friends today and it was like there were two couples (they're just at the crush stage, though) and I was the odd girl out. we watched a movie and they were like snuggling and it just made me feel sad I've never had anyone like that, when my girl friends have. one of my friends has guys hitting on her all the time, and it's not like she looks like a model or anything, either. it's just frustrating. i told them about how I was still a lip virgin and they said it was a good thing and they wish they could be in my position, but I don't get how. there's nothing fun or good about not being with someone for so long. nothing at all. it really hurts, the times when you just want to kiss someone or someone to just love you in that romantic way. its hard to imagine all those romance movies or movies with any romance being in reality.. it's like I'm missing out on this whole other world. I'm not desperate or anything, though, but if someone genuinely asked me out and I was attracted to them, I'd give them a chance. I'm new to the world of hanging with a lot of guys cause in high school I was kind of the loner who just mixed with different groups of mainly girls. i just started college and i'm now in a group (which feels awesome, I've never been in such a tight nit clique before. I've never felt like I really belonged anywhere before with other people who genuinely wanted to be friends and shared a lot of my weird interests) but apart from the two pairs of "crushes" the two other guys are in relationships and then 1 other guy is single but I'm not attracted to him (though one of my friends considers him attractive). sorry for this huge rant but I just had to get it off my chest. I'd talk to my new girl friends about it but I don't want to be a debbie downer. they seem like they're in that state of bliss when you're crushing on someone and they know it's returned and I just envy that. I keep it inside, though, and just act like normal, though, but it deep down hurts cause it just makes me feel alone again. I even liked one of the guys who's crushing on one of my girl friends in my group (there's 3 of us, me included) until I realized that he liked that one girl. I still find him attractive and we strangely have way too much in common (even more than he does with that girl he fancies) but I'm trying to just let it go and just be friends since I guess he just wants to be friends with me, but it's just hard. and I wouldn't try anything now that my friend likes him back, which she admitted after i told her i wasn't really into him anymore in that way (which was a lie, but the signs were getting obvious that he liked her). like it's just ridiculous. how patient am I supposed to be? I don't want to just use my first kiss on some random guy just cause I want to do that stuff but I do want to be loved in that way, you know. there's nothing awesome about being single at all. maybe if you've already been in relationships so you want a break, after you know what it's like, but especially not after you've gone through your teenage years with NOTHING and you feel hormones and what not a lot. sometimes i wish i could just turn off those feelings and just focus on the important stuff - school, but i'm not a robot, i'm just a human who wants to be loved more than a friend, why is this so difficult
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Hey there!
You know, one of my best friends is 20 years old, about to be 21 this year, and she's never been kissed either. I'm sure it bothers her to think about sometimes, but I know she can see the big picture. I've advised her not to just kiss some guy because you never know what it can turn into. First you kiss a guy you're not interested in and then he gets mixed signals and then you're involved in this whole mess that you would probably wish you were never in to begin with. It's a difficult thought to handle, I hadn't been kissed until I was actually 18. Life has an interesting way of working itself out. Trust me, the longer it probably takes for you to be kissed, the more meaning it will have to you and the other person. Everyone was meant to be loved, just be a little patient. Just think of it this way, most people don't end up with their first kiss or second kiss either. For them, it could lose meaning but for you, you'll understand how important it is.
There are pros and cons to the experience of being 100% "innocent" or not. People who've been dating since that young usually have stories behind them, they're hurt more, they act out more, they have more drama. The way I see it, the less you have to your past, the cleaner your head is.
:) Please don't feel bad. I'm sure someone out there is waiting for you.
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Hey there, I assure you I know EXACTLY how you feel! In fact, your story matches mine entirely haha.
Anyway, as I was in your position, please listen when I say its better to be patient! when your friends say they wish they were in your position they probably mean it, I sure would love to have met my current boyfriend before anyone else had gotten anything from me but I'd gotten so desperate to understand what was so great about relationships I just sold myself out, don't do that, trust me you'd regret it.
I have no doubts your a very attractive young woman, it isn't so much about looks as confidence and personality however, Psychologists argue that people are attracted to people that match their own looks so beautiful people go with beautiful and less attractive go with less attractive, this works for these other factors as well so fun and confident people often go for the same type of people.
It's great that you have found your own group of close friends, don't be afraid to ask the girls for a night out with just the girls, I'm sure they arn't oblivious to you not wanting to be the "third wheel" all the time and it'll cheer you up having a girly day :)
I'll tell you throughout my highschool and college life I felt like something was wrong with me for nobody to pay attention what-so-ever, but as soon as i went to university plenty of people began asking me out etc etc. I found I was just not in the right place at the time, strange isn't it? You could just be going about your own life, find yourself somewhere new and suddenly find plenty of people looking for a relationship with you! But don't thret over these things, focus on your studies and your life.
When you do find someone who you form a relationship with not only will he feel so special that he's your first kiss and whatever else you do, but he'd have a massive respect for you!
Afterall, who'd want the used charity toys when there is one still in it's packaging :)
Keep smiling your dazzling smile and don't let a lack of love life get you down, it'll hit you when you least expect it and you'll love every second :)
Goodluck x
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