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Sad to want life...
I'm considering unnatural death not because of a serious illness but because seems like no one cares about any one anymore. Come to think of it why should you or anyone care...You have your own lives and problems. It's been really hard the last few years and getting no better fast. The thing is, I love life and embrace life, I want to live and enjoy life to it's fullest, more than anything. But, I just exist, can't really genuinely, smile or laugh or even enjoy a beautiful day or music. It's as though there is no place for me on this earth. I want a place, I want to live and be happy etc. Sad thing is, not that I want death, but that I want life and can't have it. I'm tired.
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
I can only understand your feeling. It happened to me back in college when I worried much how we could pay the school fee when the exam would be next day. That had been a struggle. And coming to school each day was like fighting a losing battle. Everyday was usual and dull. I lost interest in many things. Now, I am asking if you please try to think of things that you think may help you. Just try to do your activities of living as efficient as you can. And try not to think too much. Please try to see what may come.
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Add another, that's two who care. Forgive me if I'm completely wrong, but have you seen a doctor and asked for a full check, blood tests etc? There could be a biological reason for the depression & tiredness. If not,that feeling we're just existing in a disinterested world's become the 'spirit of the age' now isn't it? I already look back at a world that seemed more friendly, more natural. More sane, more human. And I find myself thinking I'm glad I was young then and not now. But we live in the present, not the past and all we can do is live in the time we're given. I think the only thing we can rely on in the world is constant change. Globally, and personally. Who knows what tiny spark might catch in you, so long as you keep on livng? What might it grow into? The things you want can still be found. Good company, friendship, laughter, a beautiful sunset. Maybe it's a little harder these days. You've lost sight of them, but they are still there. The lower you get the more distant they seem. Your awareness becomes turned more and more inward. The feelings of alienation deepen, turning your thoughts more inward still. It's a vicious circle. But none of this was written in stone, this is not the inevitable path your life MUST follow. You CAN have life. Constant change my friend, that's all you can be sure of. All that live are subject to it, like it or not. Good and bad alike are swept away and replaced or renewed every second we live. Misery can't hold you forever by the throat any more than you can keep happiness in a jar. But you've got to be in it to win it, as they say! And if the night gets just too dark...keep those phone numbers and things. See ya!
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I'm someone and I care enough to respond to you. While I am not a doctor, none of us are, I can see from your writing you are depressed over something. Probably something other than what you have written about.
Lets address unnatural death or suicide as it is more commonly called. This is not a solution or resolution to a problem or situation. This is just an ending, the wrong ending as there is no problem that with a little effort and the right support you cannot resolve or fix.
The following is a number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. It is available 24/7. The people who answer the hotline are much more qualified to help you than I am. You also get to speak with them one on one in real time for as long as it takes for them to help you and find help for you in your own home town. The number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255), please call them for I know they can help you.
Suicide, the consideration of or the actual planing of committing is the outward desperate expression of depression. If you are actively thing of or planning to commit suicide then call 911 or the emergency number for where you live immediately and help will be sent to you.
As for the other things you spoke about such as finding a place for yourself. Once you get help for the depression, the therapist will be able to help you with that. I too can help you with that but I need more information about you.
Information you may not want to share with a total stranger. Information such as your educational background, your age and things that interest you, hobbies and such. With this type of information I can make suggestions to help you find your place.
If you wish to share this information you can send it to me via a private message. First contact the hotline or 91 and get help for the depression.
Also remember I and anyone else who answers you care about you. So to say no one cares is no longer correct.
Take care of yourself and write me back to let me know how you are doing.
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