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he wants to hurt me if i break up with him
i just need your advice about a man that i have been with for about eight months now. he is a divorced man and he is about 15 years older than i, besides ha has a nine years son. i loved him a lot and i still do, but my parents didn't like him at all.
the problem is that he said that if i beak up with him he would hurt me and tell my father about every thing that happened between us.
please i really need your advice as soon as possible because i am really lost and cannot do anything right now.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
anyone who threatens to hurt or control you is not a true man rember that and if he did tell you dad i think he would only hurt herself cause of the age and do you want to be with a man with a son already and no that god loves you and will always help you if you just pray believe and ask him ask god to lead you where he thinks is best for you go to a pastor of a church everyhting is confidential
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i am sorry to hear about this and im sorry i am going to say this but if he says that hes going to hurt you then he doesnt love as he says he does. im sorry i have said that but its not right a women should be ina relationship with out being threat split up with him and call the police for a non emergancy call ask wat you should do if it does get out of hand CALL THE POLICE! anymore help on anytthing contact me on my email:jake11342@hotmail.co.uk
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First of all when someone says something like this that person is trying to control you. Making that person a controller. Second by making this kind of threat he has committed a crime called assault which could be a felony if the police wish to charge him in that manner.
The threat becomes a crime when it is made and he has the ability to do so and you are fearful that he will. It is called an assault as he has not yet touched you. If he does hit you then it is battery. IF you are living together he could also be charged with domestic violence depending on the laws in your state.
The other concern I have is the one where he threatens to tell your father about everything you have done together. This leaves me to wonder how old you are and if you might be, or ever were, under the age of consent in your state while you were with him. The age of consent in most states is 17 or 18.
If you are or were ever under the age of consent there are a whole hosts of other legal charges that can befall him besides the assault he is already subject too. They include but are not limited to: Statutory rape, child abuse, sexual predator and the possibility of violating the Federal Mann Act if you two ever crossed a state line together.
What does this all mean to you? What it means is he has a lot to lose by threatening you or trying to keep you in this relationship against your will. You now have the means to control him which will allow you to leave, hopefully safely if he wishes to stay out of jail and retain custody of his son.
As I said you have already been assaulted by him and can go to the police to file a criminal complaint. You can also go to the District Court and get an order of Protection. With this order of Protection if you are living together you can ask the police to remove him from the home. His son would be placed in the protection of child services, placed with his mother or another close family relative. It is doubtful they would leave him in your care.
If you happen to be under the age of consent he could go to jail for as long as 25 years to life. Then when he is released he would have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
You now have the ammunition to defend yourself legally against him and as far as the assault charge goes for at least the next year. The other charges never go away and can always be used to keep him away from you.
How you decide to use this information is up to you.
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This guy sounds like a real A-hole. Nobody that genuinely loves you would do this. You're right for wanting to leave and you should pronto. He's a lose cannon and especially if he's threatened you physically and emotionally.
You need to tell your father and mother that this guy has threatened bodily harm if you leave and to tell them hurtful information about you. Who will they believe (You not him) or if it were true you could admit to it and move on with your family. You have to. Also tell the police about the threat of violence and see what they can do about that with charges etc. You're in deep and need other people's help. Your parents will always help you.
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