Don't look now, but that guy over there...you have heard that before and it is sooo hard not to look, right? For some reason we become obsessed with the off limits. Has someone or something in your life made it seem like being with or around anyone who is a lesbian off limits? Deal with the issue, right about it or talk about it with someone you trust not to tell everyone everything. Maybe you are so quick to say you are not a lesbian without thinking about it first, and so you have not really dealt with it? There are some bisexuals in the world too, you know. Why would you not ever kiss a girl? Have this discussion with yourself. I am not saying you have subconscious desires to be anything, I am just telling you that unless we truly examine something before we decide on it, it will not leave us alone. There will always be a question that we were afraid to face. Maybe you want to ask yourself why about more things as you mature and find your own answers. This could be more about growing and thinking for yourself, rather than about questioning sexuality.

If you are rubbing him with his pants on maybe it is chaffing? Or maybe he is not wanting to get excited if you are not going all the way? Only he knows for sure, so ask him. If you are comfortable enough to be touching sexually with someone, then you should be comfortable enough to communicate with them.

Can you let him go? First, you need to figure out IF you should let him go. If you decide that you should do that, then the key is to listen to your mind and not your feelings which will pull you back to what was a messy mix of good and bad. Feelings are different from listening to your heart. Feelings are temporary and change as the mind changes, but not before the mind changes. It goes like this...Think It-Act On It-Feel IT. Feelings are not a determining factor that should lead the way, they are an emotional barometer that measures your reactions to any given situation. If you are having unpleasant or uncertain or chaotic feelings, it means something is not working for you and must be rethought. Try to think about what you really really want and then look at what you have now. Focus on only getting exactly what you want and you will. Settle for only what you have now and you will never get exactly what you want. Where we put our focus and energy, is where our steps will lead us and our future is determined. Love is a vague word that means different things to different people and at different circumstances. What does it mean to you? If it means monogamy and commitment, then seek those. Don't accept what feels bad. Compromise never gets you what you want. Some things can be compromised in an equally loving and giving relationship to keep it working, but some things cannot be compromised and it is up to you to decide what those things are. We have no power to change others, only our own minds. Growth can be a painful process but once you are there, you never regret it.

Well Heck! That sounds way more fun then writing all that gibberish, so go for the gold, baby and get that moment on camera.

A jealous boyfriend who knows why he should not trust the guys...because he is one of them. Don't let him control you, but things have to be equally acceptable to both of you. Either you both can hang with whomever you want, or neither can. It does sound like he is either a flirt or just seeks everyone's approval...sometimes both go together.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but more likely than not is that you will be more faithful than he will be. You are both terribly young to make such a big commitment, so maybe think about letting each other off the hook before you get hurt. Just a thought...

H.I.V. can show up clean one test and a few months later show up not clean. Always be safe and you won't have the stress and worries. A lot of guys lie about being virgins to their girlfriends, in order to get sex, just like real virgins lie sometimes for peer approval. STD's are more rampant than ever, so be careful.

Good advice already, but I will add that exfoilation should be done only a couple times a week at the most, and doing so leaves skin more vulnerable to sun damage, so wear a sunscreen lotion for the face and a separate sunscreen for your body everyday. Acne can be hormonal and very little one can change about that. Keep your skin clean, but don't overdry with harsh cleanser/toner/masks that will only irritate skin and become more prone to breakouts. Lots of water is great as well as fruit/vegies/fish.

Your body is your business, but we all make impressions visually upon the world and yes the world judges us. We are all guilty. I don't think anyone wants to see you fat, but they may be concerned that you are purposely eating less than would be healthy. Be honest with yourself and you don't need to give anyone else an explanation. However, if you are in any way concerned about your health and weight, your physician is the best one to give the correct diagnosis and advice. There are many people who have distorted body images or stress over their physical appearance that are of various weights and sizes. Sometimes we could use the objective opinion of a professional to discern the facts from the fiction of our health, which is something that goes beyond weight and unique to each individual body.

I agree that something memorable and viewable needs to be done as a symbolic moment for the opening and celebratory fact of the event. Gratitude must be expressed to all that are there to help in the celebration and coupons or something as a thankyou should definately be a part of a smart business opening.

Updated***
Since you have already done this, now is the time for you to act. What did your mother want you to do with the land in the first place? It just sits there and does not do anything for you if it is not being used. She might think of it as her legacy, something permanent after she is gone. But, no thing is permanent. We are all we have in this moment. People are more important than things. The land should not be dividing you. Resentment is unhealthy. Have you always been the good one, never making waves, keeping your needs silent? If so, I suggest doing something for yourself now. We cannot control other people's feelings or reactions to our decisions. They alone decide how they want and choose, yes choose, to feel. Don't let this trap you one way or another. You have to live with your own criticism, but no one else has the right to judge. Write down how you would feel, only you, about the decision to keep or sell. Read it aloud, have someone else read it and hear it from someone else's voice...sometimes a good way to be more objective. Good luck!
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Have you talked to her in depth about your feelings, not just the facts of the issue. A parent has certain dreams, but they know that their children may have other dreams. Explain that her dream is important to you and talk about it with her. Really listen without pushing any of your agenda. Sometimes one may just need to give a person validation and understanding, for them to not feel rejected even if you choose to ultimately follow your own heart. A gift should be free of strings or it is not a gift, but a conditional thing meant to control a situation through another person. Not that she was not being generous, but sometimes we attach strings without it being thought through. You want to cut those strings, but better yet it would be great if she could do that for you and retain her dignity. So appeal to her heart directly over the matter and let her know how endlessly grateful you would be for her gift.

Okay, I am a woman but this is pretty much something I can answer. A few possibilities might be that a guy is either nervous, stressed, has a real medical condition, or has had little experience ejaculating in front of or with a real person, especially if he has only masterbated for years. Next question. "Bad" is truly subjective, but a better thing to ask oneself is are you enjoying yourself? Nothing turns a person on more (normally) than knowing one is turning on his/her partner and that he/she is truly enjoying the experience. If you are not having fun, what is the point? Of course, being comfortable and open with a new partner may take a while, so the best way to be happy in bed with someone is to be happy and free with that person out of bed. Too many people jump into sexual intimacy, before sharing any real intimacy...connecting soul to soul. I don't think anything is bad in general, it is just a matter of communication and mutual satisfaction...meeting one another's needs and overall enjoying the experience for yourself.

Give your kids the best knowledge you have of both and then expect them to decide on something else altogether. Kids adapt some of their parents beliefs, not necessarily even the stuff the parents both agree on, and then get the rest from other sources and make up their own mind hopefully. You did not plan on raising them in a bubble anyway did you? This problem is really not about the kids, but about the two of you getting along and working out the problem you are both creating in making this a problem instead of an opportunity. If the two churches that you both believe in so much are that different, then why did you overlook all that significant holy stuff enough to make-out and get married. Marriage is about getting along. It is not about fighting over your individuality...that is what drew the two of you together, remember? Now let each other alone and love one another again without judgement. Leave the details to God, it is hard enough to just be kind to one another. Jesus summed all the commandments up into two: Love God and Love One Another. That is what we are really struggling with everyday and that is where are efforts and energy need to stay. Raise your child by those two commandments alone, and you will have done more for your child than anyone or any church could.

It requires lots of hairspray a brush and a time machine to take you back to the 1980's to when it was actually in style..don't do it!!!

A rose by any other name...or what comes around goes around, what you sow you shall also reap, Karma, whatever you want to call it is a common thread of thinking in many religions. Continue to think for yourself and keep an open mind. As you learn more about various belief systems, religions, individual philosophies etc. you will find many common ideas in all that you may or may not agree with. The only common thread that should count for you and become your belief is what you find as truth wherever you find it. It will change over time as you gain information and experience. Your parents are wise to tell you to seek your own faith.

Are you going to have to be "wrong" everytime you and your husband disagree? What a hard life that will make for you both. Either one of you has to play mindless robot or you will have to find a way to be adult individuals who can love and respect one another. When you were engaged did your fiance tell you that this was what you were in for? He may think he is always right, but there is only room for one Jesus in Christianity. If you want to be a good example for your child, then be an example of love and acceptance of one another. What if your child actually has a mind of his own? Will you not feel loving and accepting of your child anymore? Leave the loss of individuality for cults and robots. God gave you a brain, so make up your own mind and then live together in the spirit of peace. Baptism or any other subject is a matter of interpretation, but you should check out all the verses on it for yourself and make up your own mind from those, and not what someone else says it says. The Bible says that Paul baptized with water for repentance, Jesus' baptism IS the Holy Spirit for salvation, and that believers are baptized into Christ through faith. Christ being the only one to withstand the scrutiny of God's baptism of judgement (symbolized through fire)and come away unscathed, we are baptized through acceptance of Christ into one body of believers. Since all of us are sinners but Christ, we cannot go through the (fire) baptism of God's judgement, that Christ did on the Cross. Water baptism is a sign of repentance when one is old enough to decide they want it, or can be a sign (as in infant baptism) that the parents will raise the child to know God's plan of salvation through Christ. Does the water actually save? No, it is a symbol of repentance. Water was John's baptism to prepare the way for Jesus's baptism of the Holy Spirit which comes to a believer as a result of faith in Christ's work on the cross (fire) baptism by God; which is God's judgement. If that is not enough, there is the baptism of the dead! Thank God we have grace to get us through and that God judges the heart, because none of us can comprehend perfectly and consistently all that God has done for us. Now, extend His good grace toward one another. He calls us to live in peace, and if your husband really thinks he knows all, then he should be a greater example and put that knowledge into practice, because we are only accountable for what we know.

Substituting one habit for another usually works better than just giving something up. Try to make a whole new plan and lifestyle around a healthier habit. Join a gym and you will be able to sweat out the impurities in your body quicker and lessen cravings, while getting into shape and burning off stress. Drink lots of water and eat oranges, which naturally clean nicotine out of your body. Good luck, but you don't need it, you just need to want to quit poisoning yourself.

This guy obviously has sexual addiction problems, is selfish, rude, obnoxious, a liar...should I go on? So why are you and your husband going out of your way to protect his feelings when he does not give a rat's butt about anyone else's? He clearly oversteps boundaries and invades other's privacy. I would not trust him around any of my children anyway and would not expose them to being around his perversions. Maybe he limits his illicit behavior to only adults, but come on...are you willing to bet on it with your kids? You don't have to explain anything to this guy. What you need to do is read a book on standing up for yourself and protecting your boundaries from those that manipulate by overstepping them. You need to be a stronger example and protector of your children. This guy is not who you should be protecting. I have a feeling he will not fall apart if you stop be-friending him. He will just find other people to run over.

The dermatologist is the best person to get treatment from for acne. Bacteria causes pimples so use something that will kill the germs without overdrying the skin, which causes more oil production. Don't touch your face with unclean hands...bacteria spreads quickly. Wash face and moisturize with specially made for acne products twice a day and drink lots of water.

You don't care whether he does or not, is not the same as you want him to. Think about that for a minute. Girls are not usually the ones trying to get sex from the guys. The guys are the ones who are more aggresive and the girls often have to be the ones to set the limits. This is historically and statistically true all over the world. So, I want you to ask yourself why you would not care about something that is about your private body and your decision sexually? It is only for you to decide when you WANT to do something that concerns your body and emotions. Girls should not be just giving in in order to please the guy, and lowering her standards to meet his never-ending requests for more and more. Believe me, this is only the beginning and he will keep asking for more. Your body and your sexuality should be something that you alone are in charge of, and not something negotiable that you don't care about and will give away easily to make someone else happy. Guys care very much about getting sex from girls and many will do and say anything to get sex or sexual activity of any kind from any girl who is willing. You should not be thinking about being prepared for the sexual activity in what you can do to best please him, but you should be thinking more about what you want and when and how. There is no right or wrong way for you to respond to physical touch or sex. You don't need to shave extra...very silly idea that is best left to the porn industry. Every woman remembers what it is or still goes through sexual pressuring from the guys. Be strong and don't give in to anything you don't yourself really WANT to do. It is your body not his and anything you do together should not be the result of just you giving in. He gets the sexual experience he wanted, but will you get anything you want? Don't just be a pleaser. Your body is not his right as a boyfriend or community property. It is yours alone, so do only what your whole body brain and heart decides.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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