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Selling land that was gifted to me
Hello,
My husband and I are in our 40s. We want to sell some land that was gifted to me by my Mother, but she is upset that I want to sell. I do appreciate the gift, and wish to sell to siblings, (they own some of it too) but I have always wanted a farm and a place to call my own. We simply can't live on that ground due to our jobs here, that we enjoy. We have no other finances to build our dream of a country life. I don't want to cause a tiff in the family as I am the one who never makes waves--but then silently I allow resentment to build.
I am torn, because if I keep the ground I can't build my dream, and if I sell the ground I hurt my Mom's feelings.
What do you think and how would you react?
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Since you have already done this, now is the time for you to act. What did your mother want you to do with the land in the first place? It just sits there and does not do anything for you if it is not being used. She might think of it as her legacy, something permanent after she is gone. But, no thing is permanent. We are all we have in this moment. People are more important than things. The land should not be dividing you. Resentment is unhealthy. Have you always been the good one, never making waves, keeping your needs silent? If so, I suggest doing something for yourself now. We cannot control other people's feelings or reactions to our decisions. They alone decide how they want and choose, yes choose, to feel. Don't let this trap you one way or another. You have to live with your own criticism, but no one else has the right to judge. Write down how you would feel, only you, about the decision to keep or sell. Read it aloud, have someone else read it and hear it from someone else's voice...sometimes a good way to be more objective. Good luck!
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Have you talked to her in depth about your feelings, not just the facts of the issue. A parent has certain dreams, but they know that their children may have other dreams. Explain that her dream is important to you and talk about it with her. Really listen without pushing any of your agenda. Sometimes one may just need to give a person validation and understanding, for them to not feel rejected even if you choose to ultimately follow your own heart. A gift should be free of strings or it is not a gift, but a conditional thing meant to control a situation through another person. Not that she was not being generous, but sometimes we attach strings without it being thought through. You want to cut those strings, but better yet it would be great if she could do that for you and retain her dignity. So appeal to her heart directly over the matter and let her know how endlessly grateful you would be for her gift.
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I think you need to talk to Mom and tell her all about the dream home. Since you would be selling to
your siblings I don't understand why she would have a big objection.
Her feelings may be a little hurt at first. I'm sure she feels happy she is able to leave you some land of your own. If you explain that she would be helping you to achieve a dream home though, she may
see it a little differently.
Best of luck on that dream home!
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