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Baptism/Church Help
I am still stuck on this issue. As you could see from my past questions, I need serious help with this issue. My husband does not accept me for my baptism. Even though I was like 5 and have not sinned and did not know the difference as I do now, does that make it wrong? I feel like I am going to lose my husband because of this. He will not leave me. This is my personal feeling. I want my husband to accept me fully. We have difference views on certain topics in the Bible. He does not believe certain things I have to say. He is always right. How am I suppose to know which interpretation is the right one? Was I baptised wrong? Should I follow my husband and his belief for the sake of our marriage and our future children and be baptised in his church? We are both Christians, but different kind of churches. But I only believe in one baptism. Should I not be baptised and just suck it up and go to church with him and forget it? I do not want to have to go to different churches and how could I raise my child that way? He will not leave his church and allow us to be "one" as marriage should be. I am willing to do this. What should I do? I am so lost. I don't know if I should talk to a therapist or what.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Are you going to have to be "wrong" everytime you and your husband disagree? What a hard life that will make for you both. Either one of you has to play mindless robot or you will have to find a way to be adult individuals who can love and respect one another. When you were engaged did your fiance tell you that this was what you were in for? He may think he is always right, but there is only room for one Jesus in Christianity. If you want to be a good example for your child, then be an example of love and acceptance of one another. What if your child actually has a mind of his own? Will you not feel loving and accepting of your child anymore? Leave the loss of individuality for cults and robots. God gave you a brain, so make up your own mind and then live together in the spirit of peace. Baptism or any other subject is a matter of interpretation, but you should check out all the verses on it for yourself and make up your own mind from those, and not what someone else says it says. The Bible says that Paul baptized with water for repentance, Jesus' baptism IS the Holy Spirit for salvation, and that believers are baptized into Christ through faith. Christ being the only one to withstand the scrutiny of God's baptism of judgement (symbolized through fire)and come away unscathed, we are baptized through acceptance of Christ into one body of believers. Since all of us are sinners but Christ, we cannot go through the (fire) baptism of God's judgement, that Christ did on the Cross. Water baptism is a sign of repentance when one is old enough to decide they want it, or can be a sign (as in infant baptism) that the parents will raise the child to know God's plan of salvation through Christ. Does the water actually save? No, it is a symbol of repentance. Water was John's baptism to prepare the way for Jesus's baptism of the Holy Spirit which comes to a believer as a result of faith in Christ's work on the cross (fire) baptism by God; which is God's judgement. If that is not enough, there is the baptism of the dead! Thank God we have grace to get us through and that God judges the heart, because none of us can comprehend perfectly and consistently all that God has done for us. Now, extend His good grace toward one another. He calls us to live in peace, and if your husband really thinks he knows all, then he should be a greater example and put that knowledge into practice, because we are only accountable for what we know.
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Basically, Eph states 4:5 that there is ONE baptism - but which one is the ONE?
Base the answers off of the Word (not just what you were told), since you are both Christians:
What does the word 'Baptism' mean?
In the original manuscripts of Scripture, all the various forms of the word baptize are translations from the Greek word 'baptizo', which comes from the root word 'bapto'. The usage of these words according to Greek Scholars is:
'bapto'
(1) to whelm, i.e. cover wholly with a fluid;
(2) in the New Testament only in a qualified or special sense, i.e. (literally) to moisten (a part of one's person).
(1) to immerse, submerge; to make whelmed (i.e. fully wet);
(2) used only (in the New Testament) of ceremonial ablution.
In the Word, baptism was never done on children - only adults. No, babies have no sin! They need no repentance and therefore have no need for Baptism.
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Also, check out biblegateway.com and read through the scriptures regarding baptizing
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If anything, I would be baptized again - just a renewed mine and a renewed relationship together.
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First thing I would sugggest is to pray about it. If you have then you know more about your situation then I do.
to understand enough at 5 to be saved and baptised is rare but if you grew up in a sound christian home it can happen.
The idea of being re-baptised if the first baptism was a biblical one then there would be no need for it.
It does say in Epesians 4:22-33 it does say that the husband it to be the leader of the home. that would include Church as well. But with that authority comes the responsibility,
meaning if He was to lead the family in the wrong direction He is the one that has to answer for it before God, But only if He is truely saved. If not then, That would be the first thing I would focus on.
And I know you might not like the next thing, for it to work you have to be submissive to him.
Many Churches require there members to be baptised because jesus states it as one of the main requirements of membership. If you are joining a chuch with the same Faith base (baptist to baptist)you donot need to be baptised again.
I do not know all the details about which denomination you and he are so I will not say who I think is right, only that what ever church you find together make sure it is doctrinally sound.
I would suggest talking to your pastor before a therapist because most therapists come from secular backgrounds.
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ok heres the thing If your husband has a problem and you dont about you both believing in different religions then it is him who has to decide not you wether or not it is worth fighting over. Everyone has different views and beliefs and if your husband can not grasp this fact then you should sit him down and assure him that you both believe in God and also remember him that he did not marry you based on religion but love. You dont need therapy this would just be a waste of your good money and time. If you can not come to an agreement then perhaps you and your husband should rethink your marriage.
good luk I hope I have helped and hav not been too out of line
dxxxxxxxx
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It sounds like he doesn't respect your beliefs, which might be a symptom of a bigger problem. If either of you value religious details over your relationship, little can be done to improve it. Talking to a therapist would probably help both of you as a couple and as individuals.
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What I want to know is ... why does your husband care so much? Is he truly concerned for your salvation or does he just want to be argumentative about something? His inability to have a healthy relationship with you just because you were baptized a certain way concerns me, and honestly, I can't think of a good reason why it should even matter to him.
I would consider Christian marriage counseling. It's good for any married couple, whether they're having problems or not. It will allow a third person to step in and help the two of you reach a compromise and see each other more eye-to-eye. Sounds to me like it's time for a professional to step in. I wish the best for you!
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It isn't fair for him to expect you to leave your church without willing to leave his. Marriage is about compromise, but not just by one person.
Honestly, he sounds like he's being a bit of a bully right now. He might not realise it, but it's still the way things are.
I think a marriage therapist could be very helpful to both of you. If he refuses to go, a therapist would probably be helpful just to you, too, to help you figure out what you really want.
Until you figure these things out, I would strongly advise against even considering having children. You'd be bringing them into a tumultuous environment which isn't fair to anyone.
Your husband needs to respect you more. You need to respect yourself more. You don't need to suck it up and go to church with him. You need to inform him that you're sick of him being "right" all the time when you think your ideas are equally valid.
I hope you can work this out, I really do. But yes, I think a therapist might be a very good idea, and if nothing else, certainly wouldn't do any harm (if your husband objects, that's an answer in and of itself, no?).
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well im not a profesional or anything but i think you should maybe follow your heart on this one does it feel right if you go along with him??or stay with your belief??i can't answer your feelings so ask yourself also maybe sit down with him and talk about how you feel and how this whole thing is putting you in a difficult position! and try to figure a way of compromsing! maybe go to his church one week and then tell him to go to yours one week and then see if you like his church and see if he likes yours you might be surprised with your reactions to each others churches!
hope i helped a little
Chloe
:)
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