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Bringing up kids right
How do you know if you and your mate are ready to have kids but still have issues with how you want to raise them? We both want them, but what do you do when you cannot agree about certain issues. Our prob right now is how will we raise our kids relegiously? We both grew up in two different Christian churches and don't agree with things in both parties? I do not know what to do about this. I have tried talking to my husband about this, but we cannot agree. He does not agree with finding a church for "us". I need advice about this suject from someone other than my family or his. Has anyone went through this? Please help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Give your kids the best knowledge you have of both and then expect them to decide on something else altogether. Kids adapt some of their parents beliefs, not necessarily even the stuff the parents both agree on, and then get the rest from other sources and make up their own mind hopefully. You did not plan on raising them in a bubble anyway did you? This problem is really not about the kids, but about the two of you getting along and working out the problem you are both creating in making this a problem instead of an opportunity. If the two churches that you both believe in so much are that different, then why did you overlook all that significant holy stuff enough to make-out and get married. Marriage is about getting along. It is not about fighting over your individuality...that is what drew the two of you together, remember? Now let each other alone and love one another again without judgement. Leave the details to God, it is hard enough to just be kind to one another. Jesus summed all the commandments up into two: Love God and Love One Another. That is what we are really struggling with everyday and that is where are efforts and energy need to stay. Raise your child by those two commandments alone, and you will have done more for your child than anyone or any church could.
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You shouldn't have gotten married without talking and agreeing on this issue beforehand, but now that you're here, you need to find a church for you. Visit different churches. Talk to him about what's important for him in a church. Decide things that you can't accept in a church, and tell him about that list. For example, I know there are churches that think only their denomination is going to heaven, and I can't accept that, I won't go to a church that believes that. I also won't attend a church that mistreats minorities, treats women like second class citizens, or doesn't offer sunday school for kids. There are a million little things you can look at with churches but focus on the important ones. Then ask him to list the same things. Don't say, "It has to be lutheran!" or anything like that, really write down your most important spiritual beliefs, then find a church that meets those. Then think about kids. Do not even think about having kids unless you can agree on a church.
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If I were in your shoes I would start out by just teaching the basic principles of Christianity, the child will still be brought up as a Christian from birth, but it will buy you more time to figure out what to do later on. Keep in mind that either way one day the child will make his or her own decisions based on denomination and whether or not they want to be Christian. My parents brought me up first as Catholic, then baptist, and now I have chosen to become an Eastern Orthodox Christian due to the traditionality. I believe this will even itself out over time.
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you shouldnt worry about wat religion you raise your kids in . all you needa do is just give them your all . & love them for who they are & wat they become <3
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