Hi. So i was just wondering what does p.m. mean and how do you contact someone that you answered a question for if they didn't leave their name? Tried looking on the help page but wasn't there.
I'm a bit of a newbie, so please help somebody
Thanx xx
pm is usually referring to a personal message. On this site, there is no way to ask a personal message. If you want to send someone a message, and you know their user name, then you can just ask them a question to their column, or contact them through aim, msn, or an email if they decide to put them on their column.
If you want to contact someone that asked a question, and you don't know their username, then just leave whatever info you want to give them in the actual answer. If you want them to give you their user name, then ask them if they can leave it when you answer the question. Hopefully they see that and reply back to you with info to get ahold of them.
Other than that, if they don't leave their user name in the question, then it's left anonymous until they decide that they want to reveal themselves..
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SORRY SO LONG
okay i have been talking to this guy for a month or so...he is really sweet to me but im scared im gonna get hurt.(i was hurt badly in the last 5-6 months)so im kinda keeping my distince from him ya know?now he thinks im playing hard to get and i really like him!now hes going out with some girl he knows from highschool who happens to be a slut.hes been talking to her but only when he was drinking or needed some(he was never like that to me)im still talkking to him but should i even though he has a girlfriend.by the way if all goes well with us he plans on breaking up with her
i DO rate....
signed, confused
You've only known the guy for a month or so, yet you already know that he uses his girlfriend for sex and talks to another girl about breaking up with her. He does not seem like he's worth your time.
Even though he doesn't act like that towards you now, I'm willing to bet that he would be a complete ass if you gave him a chance to. If you see these bad qualities in him with one relationship, then he will always have these bad qualities.
You cannot expect it to be any different with you. Guys like this one are not worth it. Even he tells you that he plans on breaking up with her for you, you cannot trust that. Just the fact that he would go behind his girlfriends back and tell you something like that shows how much of an asshole he is.
My advice is to stay away from him and find someone who truly deserves you.
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what do you have to do to become an experienced advicenator?
~Alyssa
Read every bit of the FAQ/help.
Every little bitty word of it.
Also answer at least 100 questions to the best of your ability.
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well, i'm into the whole punk-rock scean. the real stuff (anti-flag, bouncing souls ect.) but anyway my friends aren't they think they are so cool because they listen to Jessica Simpson. So i've kinda grown away from my chick friends and started hanging out with guys but i need some chick friends around to help with the boy troubles and what not. But i can't have a conversation with them without them either getting mad at me or judging me. it really pisses me off.
Why exactly can't you be friends with your other girlfriend just because they listen to Jessica Simpson?
I cannot stand that type of music, but my best friend/roommate even has the balls to listen to the horrifying Ashlee Simpson in my presense. It doesn't mean we can't be friends, or we can't help each other with guys and other girly topics. We can even go shopping together.
I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but it sounds to me like you are the one who thinks your too cool for your Jessica Simpson loving girlfriends. You have to stop thinking that just because your into the "whole punk-rock scene" you can't be friends with others who don't share your same love for that one part of your life.
Your putting too much priority on labels, and not enough priority on the good friendships that your missing by not having a more diverse world around you.
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I have a 1 yr old male neutered siberian husky that loves to play. I got another male 1and1/2yr old husky from the pound. i got him neutered and the two of them live in a fenced yard together. The problem is that the new husky is protective over me and his food, blanket etc. If I am not around, the two dogs play and have fun. When I am around, the new husky growls and has even bitten the other husky and tends to start a fight.
Will he overcome this attitude or is it just his personality and needs to find a new home with no other animals?
No, he doesn't need to find a new home with other animals, if you work at it, you can get him past this.
Dogs really do need some other canine companionship in their lives. Since he gets along fine when your gone, then it proves that he likes having another dog to play with.
Here's a few exercises you can do to stop the protectiveness.
For the food and blanket:
Try taking the food away from him, but when you give it back, have an extra goody in it, like a piece of meat or other treats. He needs to know that when food goes away, it will not only come back, but it will be better when it comes back. You could also try to take the food away, and bring it towards your other dog, but don't let your other dog eat any of it. Then put a yummy treat in it and bring it back to the protective dog. Do this at each meal time, a couple times durring the meal and he will slowly lose his protectiveness over the food.
The same thing should be able to work with the blanket/toys/etc. If you take it away from him for a half minute or so, then bring it back with a treat, then he shouldn't feel the need to be protective. Basically, if he knows that these things will be safe when they aren't under his care, then he won't need to be aggressive when someone or something tries to take them away.
With you:
If your dog is protective towards you, then you basically need to show him that your other dog is not going to harm you. You need to let him see you petting your other dog, giving him treats, hugging him, getting licked by him, etc. BUT-- DO NOT GIVE YOUR OTHER DOG MORE ATTENTION THAN THE PROTECTIVE ONE. You need to give them both an equal amount of attention, and show them both that neither dog is going to harm you or "steal" any attention. If you need to, then keep them separated while you are doing this at first, but make sure that they can see all this happening.
If it's possible to have them close enough to be petting both of them, then that is great. Always have treats handy, so that when the protective dog is being friendly to both you and your other dog, then you can give them treats.
Reward him every time he is being good, even if it's for only for a few seconds. Once he starts to be bad, ignore the behavior as much as you can. He will soon learn that being bad gets him ignored and being good gets him treats.
If you have any more question you can just ask me. But if there is a professional dog behavioralist in your area, you might want to call and see what advice they can give you.
Good luck.
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okay, ive been going to the gym like everyday, or every other day for the past 2 weeks or so. and ill work out really hard, like ill run for 25 mins on the tred mill and ill do like 175 crunches, and ill build up alot of sweat.. ill work out really good, but then the next day im never sore at all. shouldnt i get atleast alittle sore after all that work out?
thanks.
No, you shouldn't. When you get sore it means that you've worked your body out too far without stretching enough. It's a bad effect that your muscles give out when they've been over-worked.
Working out is not supposed to hurt, it's supposed to make you feel refreshed and healthy.
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If I take my cartilidge piercings out for like 30 minutes every weekday for gym class, do you think it'll close? I've had one of them since June '04, and the other since August'04 =) thanks.
Since you most likely have to take them out, there's really no way to know unless you actually do it.
I would just make sure to take them out right before you get to gym, and put them back right after you get out.
I got my lip pierced almost two years ago, and since september of last year I've had to take them out for my all of my lab classes, which run for 3 or more hours at a time. I usually forget to put it back in for an hour or two after class, so on average it's been out for up to five or so hours each time. It's never healed, or even begun to heal.
But august wasn't that long ago. But... 30 minutes is not a long time at all.
I would say you'll be fine with it. You just might need to be more careful with cleaning them for a while.
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Can you go to your regular doctor to get on a birth control pill or do you have to go to a gyno.?
You can go to your regular doctor. I went on birth control at 15 or 16, but I didn't actually start to see a gyno until 17 or 18. Just mention it to your doctor that you want to go on birth control and they should help you decide which kind to use.
But a Gynocologist will be much more informative on the subject than a regular family doctor. Most people don't realize how many different birth control methods there actually are out there. It's a lot to remember, so a gyno will be more likely to know more since they specialize in only one part of medicine (female woman parts).
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Okay.. so me and my boy friend have been dating for 8 months ! Well just last week we were looking at his digital camera and a picture poped up and he was like oh look heres when they had a stripper come to my dads birthday ! Im Like WHAT ? so i didn't say anything until we got home well when i did hes like its just a joke come on i mean she was ugly and she only danced in front of everyone else ! I was like ok and i let it go away well then today i was looking thru the pictures and i seen one of her dancing all over him !! i didn't tell him i saw it but now its all i can think about i really love him what should i do !
In my opinion, it was just a stripper at a birthday party, and it shouldn't be anything to worry about.
Then again, you should be upset because he lied to you.
Then again, he probably only lied to you about that because he knew it would upset you.
Then again, it hurts things a lot worse when you can't be completely honest about those things.
But, he probably felt like he couldn't be honest about it because of your additude about it. I don't think it's a bad thing for a guy to have a stripper at a party. I think it's a very minor detail. It's not as if he did anything, or felt anything for her.
But it's wrong for him to lie about such things. You need to talk with him and make sure he knows that you both need to be completely honest about such things. It might help to tell him that you will not be mad if he tells you, but you will be mad if you find out he's lied to you.
Honesty has always been the most important thing in a relationship to me. Having a stripper dance in front of him should be a small unimportant detail. The fact that he lied about it is important.
It would be a little hard to tell him that you saw the picture. Were you looking through the pictures because you wanted to snoop, or was it simply harmless looking. Either way you should be completely honest with him, just as he should be completely honest with you.
Good luck.
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what re-fur? maybe its reifer ... i dont know but my best friend just told me he does that. I had no idea so i was like just like o.. can we talk about this later so i want to know what it is please
It's reefer, and it's a slang word for marijuana.
Also, you shouldn't be afraid to simply say "What's that." You won't sound uncool or stupid. It's so much better, and will make things so much less awkward in the long run if you learn to admit when you aren't familiar with a certain thing.
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when i am answering a question... sometimes it says "chatspeak detected. please type in english" what does this mean and how can i stop it?
http://advicenators.com/faq.php?f=93
Go to the FAQ and read through it before asking any questions about the site. It's full of useful information.
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I'm 14 years old, and I want my hair dyed. Like I want a drastic change SORTA. My hair right now is Dark Blonde. I don't want like blue pink colors though. I'm white, and my face is sorta red usually. I'm not really tan, I am sometimes. But not always. Whats a good hair color for me =)
Dye it black, or dark brown. I was blond when I got my licence picture, and whenever I go to buy beer the person at the cash register tells me that I look so much better with my black hair now. I was once told that I look younger with dark hair.
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hi i have a jrt 1 1/2 year old and we have tons of treats for him and he doesnt like them!! i dont give them to him all the time because i dont want him getting tired of them so i give them to him once in a while. he eats his food and occasionally some treats, and he likes some/almost most people food, but i just want a treat that he likes!! i mean we have like 50 dif. kinds and it seems like he hates them all! hel smell it and walk away and im like grrrr..does anyone have any recomedations!?!
Simple.
STOP FEEDING HIM HUMAN TREATS.
Human food has an extreme over-load of flavors in it compared to dog food and dog treats. It's extremely, extremely unhealthy for you pup. It doesn't have the correct nutrients, and he WILL become overweight if you keep feeding him human food.
Food pickiness in animals is an entirely "taught" bad behavior. Dogs are not picky inherently, they would have no reason to be picky if it wasn't for us humans. I know your only trying to make him happy, but it really is hurting him.
I learned this all in animal nutrition last semester. There was another classmate who worked at a vets office and saw a dog who had eaten so much human food for her entire life that she had to be put down while still quite young.
Here's how people teach their dog to be picky about their food.
When you give your dog his treats, and he doesn't eat them do you try giving him a piece of human food instead? If you set his regular kibble down and he doesn't eat it, do you try add some human food to it?
Well, by doing that your dog has learned that if he doesn't eat his food right away, then he will get some fatty tasty human food added to it.
Here's what you should do. Start by cutting back on the human food. Keep giving him less and less each day until you eventually do not need to give him any at all.
Don't worry about him getting sick of his treats, or not liking his treats. He's a dog. They do not "get tired" of the same food each day, and constant changes in their diet can actually tend to give him dirahea or make him sick. Since you have a bunch of different kinds of treats, just give him one certain kind each day. Then the next day give him a different kind.
Trust me, once you get him off the habit of eating the unhealthy human food, he will love his treats.
It could also be that the treats are old. They get stale when they're exposed to air for too long. Once you get him off the human treats, you might want to start all over with some treats.
I recommend "beggin strips"
I used to feed my dog "Nutro: natural" treats, particularly the doggy toothbrush kind. He liked them.
You really just need to stop feeding him any human foods, and he won't be so darned picky.
Good luck.
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Ok, I finally started crushing on this guy, lets call him Bob, like 3 months ago, or somehting like that. He and one of my guy friends got into a fight before that, so me and Bob never really talked. I didn't evn know who he was. Then..., I started noticing him, and realized his locker was like 8 aways from mine. I was really phsyced ... I mean I'm a freshmen, and I've had a ouple of crushes this year, but nothing serious, like more then 2 weeks until I started noticing Bob. I started to get all these butterflies. Finally, after two months, I got the courage to finally talk to him. I asked him to meet me in the library once and after that we started talking. That's when I reallly fell for him! =) And then we decidedto keep meeting after school at the library and stuff and I called my friend Alice, because I knew she USED to like him and she talked with him, so I thought maybe she could help a sista out. lol. Firstly, I asked if she liked him and she's like 'um, no, i don't think so ... ' and i explained the whole story and told fhger everything. She said she'd talk to him. So the next day, my friend Kyle calls me and says I saw Alice & Bob in the library on top of each other and flirting, so i was like wtf...?! And I called her, and she said she talked to him and he told her he didn't like me. SO I was like oh, ok, I mean what was I supposed to do? ANd she told me how HE *was all over* HER! And I was like, well are you guys gonna go out or what? And she's like no, he's too much, too fast. And the next day I asked him about her. He's like 'wtf, i hate her. what a jealous bitch. i'd choose you over her ANY day, he told me that like 21 times, lol. And he'slike she's just jealous, what a jealous hoe. So then, I just you know, went on with it and then I hear that he wrote here a not later on that say say said dont ever fucking o talk to me you fucking bitch i hate you dont look atme dont talk to me ... etc. so then she strats saying stiuff that the only reason I like BoB is cause she does, which SOO isn't true, cause I asked her in the first place. S me and her aren't talking and we USED to be best friends, so yeah. then here comes the problem, Monday, no school, Tuesday I saw Bob, and said HEY to him, i was shy, lol, and I havn't seen him since. I asked around, and I thought he had ACes(suspension!) but he didn't and I heard that he left to Siberia or somewhere (he's arabian) because its some arabic holiday. BTW, he'sonly 50% arabic. And i did notice that lots of Arabs were missing in school today, so I'm not sure if its that. then I also heard that he went to iraq or palestine or wherever for 2 years and he's coming back his junior year! i was like no, i seriously wanted to cry. then I heard, he moved/transfered. my one friend has class with him and she said he was moving or something bcz he returned his books and yturned in transfer papers so I'm not sure ... He was actually the first guy I've felt reall good about. I mean just when things were going good, things got screwed up. SO does anyone know if there *IS* an ARABIC HOLIDAY? and please I need help with all of this, I don't even know what to do. I'm like obsessed with the guy, I fell for him wasy too soon and he's just gone for sure now without a site. I'm still going to try to talk to his friends but I'm not sure. I just need some help, what to do about all of this. And I CAN'T moce on ... there is NO ONE else.! thanks for at least taking the time to read this!
Ok, there's a whole lot of information here,let me think a bit.
Has your friend ever done this before? Has she suddenly started to like a guy again because you like him? It's not right that she would go talk to him for you, and then suddenly be all over him. But you also have to think about a few things. This girl used to be your best friend, and do you really want to let a guy, who you might not ever see again, get between you two?
Yes, it wasn't right for her to flirt with him after you said you liked him, but it also seems like he was playing the both of you a tiny bit. He flirts, or at least lets your friend flirt and think she has a chance, and then he goes to you and tells you that your way better. That doesnt seem right. He should have been straight up with the situation in the first place and all this confusion could have been avoided.
Now, about him leaving... did you tell you anything about it? It just seems like if he was really as interested in your as he said he was, then he would have said something about such a huge thing as leaving for two years. Even if you two did just start to talk, you would think that he would tell you that. Now your stuck wondering and worrying yourself over it.
There is NO ONE else huh? Well, your only a freshmen. This seems like he very well could have been an asshole in disguise. He could have been sweet, but from what I've thought about, there are some things that he did to really fuck with your emotions.
First, talk to his friends. His friends would be able to tell you more than what the little rumors you've heard can tell you. After you talk to his friends then you need to decide some things. Don't think "my life is over, I can't move on, he was the only one for me." because, that is bullshit. Sorry for being blunt. But your only a freshman, you have your whole life ahead of you, and he was only one small minute minute of your life. You'll move on eventually.
Good luck with everything.
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My family believes very strongly about lots of things. One of those things is legal marajuana. They think if somebody in the USA wants to smoke pot, let them. Pretty much everybody in my family smokes pot except for me. I'm 15 years old. I think they're wrong. I don't think pot should be legal because it makes people do stupid things. But so does beer and other alchaholic drinks. But they're legal. So I think maybe they should not allow alchahol or pot. I'd like to point this out to my family but I don't want lectures. What should I do?
---
To someone who feels strongly about this subject as your your family seems to, it would most likely offend them if you try to tell them that their wrong and that pot makes them do stupid things. I do not smoke pot, I tried it when I was 16-17, but never got into it. I just didn't like it and thought it was affecting my school work.
My family however, all smoke pot. I see my mother light up every day. It does not bother me, I do not think she is ruining her life. She goes to work every day and comes home and smokes a joint. If I were to tell her that pot is ruining her life, and it should never be legalized, then I would simply be putting her entire life style down.
So, you can have your opinions, and you should have your own opinions, but you need to think about it hard before you voice those opinions. I think it would be great if you had a conversation with your family. You will get a lecture of course, but isn't that exactly what you would be giving them in the first place. It would basically be you lecturing your family on how pot is bad, and your family lecturing you on how pot is good. It could come out being a quite entertaining conversation.
I completely disagree with you when you say that we should not allow alcohal or pot. You need to do some research on this topic. Do some research on when alcohal was actionally illegal in the United States. Research how "good" that was. If you reserach these things then you will be able to make better points to your family and might actually be able to change their minds. But if you simply spout off a bunch of things about how pot makes you do stupid things, then they will not listen and only be offended.
I am actually interested in what you mean by "stupid things".
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okay the answer you gave me definitly was not helpful your very rude and you shouldn't be an advice columnist saying im a baby and all this other stuff is not appriceated!Rated 1
It was very adult like for you to give me this "question" twice. Thank you.
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Ok, i made a new ID, because my other column got really messed up. But, whenver i try to sign in on my new account, it will not let me. It says that the username/password is wrong, but i even copied the username and password to make sure it was correct! It still went invalid, does anyone know whats wrong with this?
When checking your column I saw that the screen name that you asked this question under is the only one under your IP address. Is this your old screen name? I'm guessing that you didn't finish making your new account, or something simply messed up durring the process. Whatever happened, you only have one account name under your IP address, and it's this one.
If this isn't the account you want to use, then try making one again. Remember not to use any spaces or "_" in your name or it will be messed up. If it still doesn't work, then try asking the admin about this one. It may be a glitch in the site. To ask admin a question click on "suggestions".
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okay i have a problem, but its not mine, its my friends. my friend has been talking to this person on AOL instant messanger for about a week. let's call my friend Bob and let's call who he's been talking to Mary (not real names) Bob is one of my BEST friends in the whole world. he tells me that Mary and him are really getting along and that she always says how she loves him, even though they've only been talking for a week. he isnt sure if he's scared of her or anything, but he told me that he thinks she's sort of like a stalker and you know stuff like that. theres two ways he can go about letting her go:
1) just telling her to stop being so obessive
2) be a jerk and maybe she'll stop liking him
he doesnt want to do #1 because it would most likely hurt her a lot. but i dont think he should do #2 because thats dishonest and mean. please help!!! what should he do?
thanks so much!! and if you have anyother questions, ask me and i'll give you my email
Option number one would hurt her the least. Tell him that right away. Do not simply be a jerk to the poor girl so she'll stop liking him. First off, if she's really that obsessive then there is no way she'll simply stop liking him. She will most likely put up with his asshole-ness, and then her self esteem will go further and further down.
He needs to do the right thing and be honest with her. Option number 2 is simply the easy way out for him. Saying that he doesn't want to do it because it will hurt her is just an excuse that he's using to make himself feel better. He only wants to do it because it will be easier on him, not her.
Make him tell her the truth. That's what everyone deserves.
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im 15 and offered to watch my brothers instead of going out with my friends so my parents can go out. Its now 1:00 AM and they still have not returned. Im annoyed because its not fair that they think they can stay out til all hours of the night while i sat home on a friday night for THEM. If they were planning on staying out this late they should have told me. Honestly i have no idea what their out doing putzing around about..Am i wrong for being mad? How should i express how im annoyed at them? i understan that they are adults and a child has no right to yell and act like their parent..but im just annoyed with the lack of consideration i guess
How often do they get to go out? How often do you get to go out? From the sound of it, this does not happen very often. Has probably never happened before.
I think it's quite fair. Your parents need time alone without kids. You have a right to tell them that they upset you. But think about things first. Are you being selfish by telling them that they're not allowed to have one measly night alone? Think about how often you get to go out, and then think about how often they get to go out. I don't think it would be right for you to complain about one simple night.
You can always use this in the future. If you want something badly, bring up how you helped them by watching your brothers. Then they'll have to at least consider how nice you were on a friday night before they decide you deserve that thing that you want.
p.s. I'm guessing that your parents are using this time away from their children to have sex. Would you really want to keep them from that once in a great while?
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The summer before my freshman year in college I began dating one of my best friends. This was my first relationship with a woman, and to my knowledge at the time, it was her first as well. We dated for 11 months. I was scared, confused, vulnerable.. She went to school two hours away and we saw each other once a month. It seemed as much as I put her first in my life, I was always a side show to her life. The breakup was awful.
She is now dating my ex-best friend, and they recently moved to Florida to live together. We talk very occassionally, and the conversation consists of her telling me I've changed so much, whereas my other friends tell me I've grown up but not for the worse. She asks if I would date her again if things fell through with the new girlfriend.
How can I let go.. she is no good for me and only brings me down. She is manipulative and is a burden in my life but I am too attached, we have been 'friends' for 7 years. Help...
She seems completely unreasonable when you two talk on the phone. She has the guts to ask you if you would date her if she didn't have a girlfriend now. Does she expect you to wait around until it's a good time for her? You should not have to put up with that. You know that she is no good for you. You need to get rid of the "friendship".
The next time you talk to her you need to tell her that you can't take it. If she cares at all th then she needs to back off. Perhaps in the future you two can be friends again, but until you've gotten over things and until she cares about you as much as you care about her, then there can be NO friendship.
If you don't think you can do that, then you could always avoid her phone calls. Don't call her and if she calls you, then make up an excuse to leave.
But, I do think that you will need to talk to her and get things straight in order to really get her out of your life. If you don't then she will still always be on your mind.
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